Fang Yu made a low, unbearable call from the depths of his throat...
Yang Lei lost all his thoughts and was held in Fang Yu's arms, his mind went blank.
He was motionless, Fang Yu's hot breath beside his ears.
Fang Yu's breath surrounds him, and there is a burning temperature from his close cheeks, and the pulse of two people...
In this bathroom, they used to be hostile and fought each other; in this compartment, they once embraced each other closely because of the brief separation, and their passion was unstoppable... These trance memories, with the passage of time, solidified in the unwillingness to remember However, at this moment, it flooded into Yang Lei's mind...
Fang Yu tightened his arms. He was so strong, as if he wanted to embed Yang Lei into his body... Yang Lei didn't move, he heard his own heartbeat and Fang Yu's, in each other's chests, the rhythm was out of order...
Fang Yu moved slowly. Fang Yu rubbed Yang Lei's neck, Yang Lei felt that hot breath sprayed on his neck, and then, something fell on his neck, ear, that hot and humid touch, accompanied by low and suppressed breathing, along the chin. Lines, sucking on his face, with untouchable care, with uncontrollable emotions due to alcohol, anguish...
That touch suddenly burned Yang Lei...
"…!"
Yang Lei pushed Fang Yu away.
Fang Yu took a few steps back before he stopped.
"...what are you?"
Yang Lei looked at Fang Yu and asked.
"… "
Fang Yu's drunken eyes became a little sober.
"What do you mean?"
Yang Lei asked.
Fang Yu wiped his face hard.
"… sorry… "
Fang Yu's voice was deep.
"… I am drunk… "
"Don't fucking fool me!!"
Yang Lei roared loudly!
His eyes were red and he stared at Fang Yu tightly. His chest heaved violently, unable to suppress the surging emotions in his chest like a tidal wave, with pain and unbearable anguish in his eyes!
He has been enduring, holding back, since Fang Yu was lying on the bed in the dark in the room on the eighth floor on the night of the New Year's Eve, he took out the warm clothes wrapped in his coat from Fang Yu's hands that were purple with cold. Cai, since Fang Yu was drunk that night, the expression of Fang Yu when the group of people coaxed him and Fang Mei...
He has been holding back in his heart, forcing himself to endure and suppress, but now he can no longer hold back, hitting his heart like a wave overwhelming, making him suffocated and unable to breathe!
"... Want to see me now, call me? Where have you been for the past three years?... You said it was a mistake for us! Okay, I'll let you go... I'll make it up for you! But what are you doing now? Come alone? Stay in that room! Drink to make yourself like this!… What do you want me to think??… Fang Yu, what the hell are you doing? What do you take me for??… "
These words that weighed on Yang Lei's heart like stones blocked him, these words that made him heartbroken, he is not a fool, he looked at Fang Yu's eyes, looked at Fang Yu's silence, looked at Fang Yu's expressions and actions, does he still Don't get it? ? But the more he understood, the more unbearable he felt, the more he felt a burning suffocation and pain.
What the hell is that? What the hell is this?
"...Don't make me think you still have feelings for me!"
Yang Lei uttered these words with difficulty, and his voice changed the tone...
Fang Yu listened to Yang Lei's questioning, Fang Yu's heart suddenly tingled...
There were footsteps outside, someone came to the bathroom and pushed open the door.
Yang Lei turned around and walked out. He didn't go back to the private room, he walked straight out of the hotel door, and quickly rushed into the green park outside the hotel. The icy wind brushed his face, and he wanted to let the cold air outside calm his mind.
The sound of footsteps caught up behind him, Fang Yu reached out and pulled him hard.
"...I don't want to do it!...I just want to see you!..."
Fang Yu was in pain and couldn't hold back...
"Why did I give up in the first place!"
Yang Lei threw him away, shouting from the depths of his throat, and his eyes were blurry when he looked at Fang Yu.
"...for your well-being!!... But look at you now?!..."
On the night of New Year's Eve, he saw Fang Yu alone in the empty room on the eighth floor, with no lights, no air conditioning, and no warm meal in the cold, dark house. How did he feel? ? Seeing Fang Yu's hands that were freezing and turning purple, and seeing Fang Yu's short head, dark clothes, and lonely figure as if he had just come out of prison, what made Yang Lei feel?
Yang Lei kept telling himself that he had calmed down. From the time Fang Yu came back, from the time he saw Fang Yu in the taxi on the snow, Yang Lei told himself like this, he thought so and did so. No one can maintain a passion forever. The tempering of reality and time can make any unforgettable feelings pass. Yang Lei thought he had done it, and he had to do it. But man cannot lie to himself, only he himself knows how he feels in his own heart. Some things can be passed, but some things do not exist without touching them!
He had already made up his mind to maintain this calm and become buddies with Fang Yu in the future, but looking at Fang Yu like this, all of Yang Lei's calm was shattered. His heart was pulled together, watching Fang Yu drunk himself cup by cup, looking at Fang Yu's pale face and red eyes, Yang Lei's heart was dull and painful like a blunt knife, even breathing. The pain was unbearable for him! !
When he quit, it wasn't for the result today!
"... I went to Guangdong to find you, you didn't see me, you didn't want to make me feel uncomfortable in person, I don't blame you!... The letter you asked them to send me, you said in the letter that it took four years for you to understand, we both should Take a normal way, you say that you have someone in your heart, and you want to have a home to live a normal life! I accept all of these!"
Three years ago, when he went to Guangdong to find Fang Yu, he only saw Yingzi and the two veteran friends, and only the letter Fang Yu left him. After Yang Lei read every word, it was meaningless to see Fang Yu or not.
"In the past three years, I have kept telling myself that you are doing well, better than being with me! ... What I can't give you, others can give you! In this way, I can give myself a reason and stop hurting you! ... But if you are like this now, what was it then?… What’s the point of letting you go?!”
Fang Yu was not having a good time. The corners of his brows and eyes lacked any radiance and happiness. Looking at Fang Yu in front of him, Yang Lei felt that he had lost all meaning in the past few years. What is the giving up, what is it?
"… sorry… "
Fang Yu's voice is extremely hoarse...
"Do I want to hear sorry?!"
Yang Lei was in pain.
"I want hello!"
"...I'm fine!"
Fang Yu said suddenly, Fang Yu's expression in the darkness was a blur...
"Very good?! Are you so fucking good?!"
Three years later, Yang Lei is no longer a young man who treats his feelings as food. He understands that there are too many things in life, not just feelings, too many ways to love, not just having each other. Now he only hopes that the people he loves can live well and live happily, that they can live upright and magnanimous in the sun, and that they can be surrounded by love and blessings. He only hopes that in a few decades, they will all enter their lives In the final stage, you can still say to each other without hesitation: you say a word, my life, you take it.
"... We can't go back! Fang Yu!... "
Yang Lei said, word by word...
"... Once you have chosen a path, go back and go to the end!... Don't make me look down on you!... "
Fang Yu stood like a statue in the cold air of a winter night...
"What's the matter, you?"
Fang Mei came out. Seeing that Yang Lei and Fang Yu had not come back, she was worried and came out to find someone.
Yang Lei wiped his face hard and turned away.
"... He's been drinking too much. You call a taxi and take him home."
Yang Lei said, turned around and left.
"Yang Lei!"
Fang Mei called him, but Yang Lei didn't look back and strode away...
Although Fang Mei didn't hear what they were saying, she guessed it.
At the wine table, she could see everything. Fang Mei looked at Fang Yu who was standing in the dark. Fang Mei wanted to say something, but she didn't know how to say it.
Yang Lei told her not to let Fang Yu know that she knew about them, for fear that Fang Yu would be uncomfortable.
Looking at Fang Yu, Fang Mei could only sigh. Fang Yu must be responsible to a woman and a family. Even if Yang Lei has an old relationship, what can he do? Even if Fang Yu really separated from that woman and only came back to find Yang Lei, that would be too boring, even Fang Mei felt boring.
"… Let's go back."
Fang Yu said to Fang Mei. In the cold night wind, Fang Yu's wine has sobered up.
"Where do you live now? I'll call a car for you."
Seeing Fang Yu's expression, Fang Mei felt inexplicably uncomfortable.
"I'm fine."
Fang Yu paused and looked at Fang Mei.
"I may not be able to come to the wedding. Bless you."
"… thanks."
Fang Mei was also sad.
Fang Yu raised his hand, stopped a car, and opened the door.
He didn't go in, just stood there, silent for a moment, and turned around.
"Be nice to him."
Fang Yu said, lowered his head and closed the door...
Yang Lei went back to the house on the eighth floor and locked himself there all night to smoke.
Yang Lei thought he had matured, but when he met Fang Yu, he knew that he had not improved at all. He is still the same as in the past. When he encounters Fang Yu, he is completely unable to calm down and sober up. His mind even goes blank and loses the ability to think.
Those words, he did not know whether to tell Fang Yu, or forced to tell him.
If he could go back in time, he wanted to go back to the bright billiards room, when the young man in the white shirt slapped a brick on his forehead, at that time, they could do anything, and there was no responsibility they had to bear, and there was no need to do anything for them. The choice they have to face is the responsibility they must face. They can talk about love recklessly, and they can do whatever they want without any scruples...
If there is this time, they have to make a new choice and choose a truly correct path, instead of paying the price and hurting the people they love the most...
Yang Lei didn't want Fang Yu to regret the path he chose. If you regret it, you will suffer. This kind of pain will ferment deeply in Fang Yu's heart, and will deeply torture Fang Yu. Yang Lei knew what it was like. He also regretted it like this. He once deeply regretted that he chose to leave Fang Yu and went to the military academy seven years ago. He did not always guard Fang Yu's side. He even He regretted that he had persuaded Fang Yu to surrender and let them have these years of separation. He had thought countless times that if he had taken Fang Yu to fly far away, even if he had to hide for the rest of his life and couldn't live in the sun, It is also far more enjoyable and worthwhile than it is now...
This kind of regret, like a thorny vine, wrapped him tightly, reason could force him to mature, but emotion made him suffer. He didn't want to see Fang Yu burdened with morality and responsibility, but he endured such torment emotionally. In Fang Yu's heart, the responsibility is heavier than the sky. Fang Yu is such a person, but the more he is like this, the more he hurts himself!
The pain, grievances, and injuries that have been held in his heart for the past few years have poured into his heart, but the appearance of Fang Yu in front of him made his heart even more painful!
Yang Lei knew in his heart that he was annoyed by Fang Yu, but he was even more annoyed by himself!
At the beginning, he told himself that it was good for Fang Yu, but is Fang Yu really good? In the past three years, Fang Yu has not heard from him. Yang Lei always thought that Fang Yu was deliberately avoiding him. He kept telling himself that Fang Yu would be better off than being by his side. He kept pushing himself not to disturb his life, not to ask where he was or what he was doing. But in the past three years, what has Fang Yu experienced and why it has become like this? He has not gone to understand the real situation, and now there are even more questions!
Looking at Fang Yu's current appearance, Yang Lei's heartache, remorse, self-blame, all his pain, all the complicated emotions he didn't know how to express, burst out like a fire in the intense alcohol-fueled brain, burning himself , also burned the house.
Yang Lei was smoking a cigarette alone. He smoked for a long time in the smoke and took out his mobile phone.
"Yang Lei, you stinky boy, what's the matter so late?"
The loud voices of political cadres came through the microphone.
"Old Lu, I have a question. After the year is over, I want to take a long vacation. The longer the better, you can help me and take a few days."
"Ask for leave just after the new year? Why, marriage leave?"
Old Lu knew that Yang Lei was going to get married.
"No. Go south."
Yang Lei put out the cigarette butt and said...
The next day, Yang Lei called Fang Yu.
The piece of paper that the orderly gave him with the house number written on it, Yang Lei kept it on the desk without touching it, but he remembered the number.
"... Yesterday, I was serious, don't take it to heart."
Yang Lei was silent for a while into the microphone and said.
"You know, I get confused when I'm in a hurry. I didn't mean to run on you. It's too much."
Yang Lei said.
"I know."
Fang Yu said. Fang Yu's phone is quite noisy.
"Where are you?"
Yang Lei asked.
"At a friend's. Do him a favor."
Fang Yu lived with a friend in Jiang Hai.
Yang Lei held up his mobile phone and walked to the balcony. He looked at the high-rise buildings outside, and the river and sea of the past had changed.
"I haven't asked you how you have been in the past few years. I know you don't want to mention it, and if you want to mention it, you won't keep holding it back. If you really don't want to say it, I won't ask you more, but there is one thing, don't say it. A life to carry. You can't carry it, and you can't carry it... "
Yang Lei said, controlling the voice...
Fang Yu was on the phone and didn't answer either...
"What's your plan?"
Yang Lei guessed that Fang Yu was leaving.
"Go back and find a way to do some business."
Fang Yu paused and answered.
Yang Lei was also silent for a moment.
"If you really want to do business, come back to Jianghai."
Yang Lei said.
"Don't worry about me, I can tell the difference between the two."
"Business requires manpower, and here, there are many people who can help. Don't bother to fight outside, come back and support you. Outside, no one really helps you."
Yang Lei brushed off the long cigarette butt.
"There was an incident last night, but I didn't have time to say it. I have a friend who set up a company to do business, looking for a partner. I have restrictions in the army, but I didn't succeed. I know about that company, the project is good, if you go back I don't have any better ideas for now. Why don't you stay and have a look. If you can, join a partnership and invest in a single stock..."
Yang Lei says...
Yang Lei said he was helping a friend, but Fang Yu knew it in his heart.
Fang Yu returned to Jianghai this time, quietly, without seeing any old brothers.
Where he lives now, a friend lived in the past. This friend is not on the original road, and he does not intersect with that circle. Fang Yu lived with him after he arrived in Jianghai, which was far from the city. Except for the two days when he helped out the rental at night, Fang Yu rarely showed up in the city.
But now, the news of Fang Yu's return quickly spread all over Jianghai.
Guo Zinian saw Fang Yu on the 30th night, and after he went back, he said that there are circles in circles on the road. Any news spreads quickly, and it is difficult to spread this kind of news slowly. Fang Yu had a lot of brothers and younger brothers back then. Although some people like Er Hei started a new career and got on the right track, they got along well, but there were still many people who were still at the bottom, and they didn't get along well. These little bastards on the road have no way out without a diploma. They rely on the elder brother to be the backer. But now the world has changed. The elder brother is not used to be around, but to provide. It is common for Guo Zi to be in a situation. These people recalled how glorious it was to follow Luo Jiu Fangyu in the past. They had long hoped that there would be a convincing person who would lead them to make a name for themselves again. Now that they heard that Fang Yu was back, they couldn't sit still.
As for Fang Yu's brothers, no one has heard from Fang Yu in the past few years, and they were shocked when they heard that Fang Yu was back.
"Brother Yu!!"
Fang Yu was hugged fiercely as soon as he left his residence.