The psychiatrist introduced by Dr. Zeng is very friendly, which makes it easier for Su Pei to reveal his true heart.
"I have a friend..." Su Pei felt that this sentence was like the beginning of a story.
He added: "I really have such a friend, we've been friends for over ten years."
The psychiatrist randomly drew two strokes on the small notebook, "Then what?"
He saw Su Pei's hesitation and encouraged Su Pei to continue.
Su Pei said, "We have always been good friends."
For the first time, it became so difficult for him to organize language to tell a thing.
"...Recently, I found out that he might have some feelings for me other than friendship. I'm not 100% sure - I'm almost sure... But I'm still shocked when I think about it these days. Because I didn't think he would It has been hidden for more than ten years, and it is still hidden so deeply. I will repeatedly think in my heart, how is it possible, why. Maybe it is too surprising, and I even feel sad when I think about it. "
The psychiatrist asked, "Have you talked to her about this?"
Su Pei shook his head in denial.
The psychiatrist asked again gently, "Do you want to talk to her?"
Su Pei said, "Yes, I want to talk to him, I want to know what he really thinks in his heart. But I can't bear the consequences of confessing. You think, it's like a 50% success rate. Surgery. You can be cured or die after surgery, but you can barely survive without surgery.”
"If a friendship is really deadly in your heart," says the psychiatrist, "you might want to consider that the friendship might not be healthy, or it might have gone bad."
Su Pei lightly rubbed his chin with his fingers unnaturally, and he smiled awkwardly, "This may be my professional habit - I'm a writer, maybe it's a bit exaggerated. But I really don't want to lose this friend."
The psychiatrist said, "You're divorced now, aren't you? Then why don't you try this old friend? Maybe you'll still have this friend, and at the same time gain a love."
Su Pei was silent for a moment and said, "The problem is here... This friend of mine is not a friend of the opposite sex."
The doctor paused while holding the teacup. He looked at Su Pei and said, "I see."
Su Pei chatted with the doctor for almost half an hour, and felt much more relaxed when he came out of the consultation room. He desperately needs someone to talk to. Tell your family that it is impossible, tell your friends that you will be seen right away, and say that there is a danger of being picked up on the Internet. Only by talking to a professional psychiatrist is the safest, and at the same time you can get some guidance.
In addition to the "a friend" thing, Su Pei also talked about the blow of his career and marriage, of course, there are also some "a friend" things in it.
The doctor then gave him a set of tests and diagnosed him with mild depression. Su Pei was not at all surprised by this result.
He even joked, "People of my age are more or less depressed now, right? Mild is not bad. I thought I should be more serious."
The doctor looked at the computer and said, "This is not a funny thing. Because you are taking medicine for the heart and your depression is mild, I will not prescribe it for you, but you have to come for regular follow-up, okay."
Su Pei accepted.
At the beginning of June, Little Cookie's "The Little Prince" participated in the competition performance in the district. Su Pei went to the scene to watch the performance.
Little Cookie is wearing a newly designed costume. It is a very beautiful dress. The skirt is made of layers of yarn, like a double-petaled rose, like a miniature version of a big-name haute couture.
Su Pei sat under the stage, of course proud of her rose-like daughter. But this time he was also moved by the little fox in the story.
The little fox told the little prince to tame me.
Su Pei thought, did he also tame He Yiming unknowingly? A person like He Yiming... Although they had quarreled, He Yiming gave him more tenderness.
"Mr. Su?"
The mother of a classmate next to Little Cookie handed Su Pei a tissue.
"It's okay." Su Pei didn't realize that he was crying, so he hurriedly wiped his eyes with a paper.
He explained to the mother in a low voice, "It's the children who acted so well."
In the end, the little cookie group took the first place. The students and parents were overjoyed. Several parents said that it was Su Pei's credit that the script was well adapted. Su Pei said that everyone worked together to make this drama well.
When Little Cookie got off the stage, she was reluctant to take off her rose skirt and went to the mall in her costume. The parents of the children who participated in the performance went to a pizza restaurant for a dinner together.
During the dinner, Little Cookie also promoted with classmates, "The TV series written by my father will be broadcast tomorrow night! It's starring Xu Xi and Fang Ziling!"
Children don't like watching spy war dramas, but they will still exclaim when they hear the name of the star.
Another child asked, "Mr. Su, have you met Qiu Ruoyang? He is so handsome, will you let him be the star?"
Su Pei smiled and said, "Next time I see him, I will help you ask."
Now Su Pei has no idea about the crew of "Secrets of Rongcheng". It has been more than half a year, and he doesn't want to recall that experience, but he is still a little curious about how the TV series will be made.
So when the broadcast started the next day, Su Pei still turned on the TV, tuned to the channel broadcasting "Rongcheng Confidential", and played the background sound of his new script, so he could watch it casually.
The "Rongcheng" crew gave him the authorship, but he was listed with the name of the later substitute screenwriter. Su Pei has no opinion, after all, the screenwriter who came later also worked hard for two months.
As soon as the show started, Su Pei's mobile phone began to receive messages continuously, most of which were sent by friends, congratulations on the new show and so on.
Su Pei was looking at his phone when He Yiming called.
Su Pei picked it up in a panic.
He Yiming straight to the point, "I watched the drama."
Su Pei blurted out, "You are so busy, you actually have time to watch the drama."
As soon as the words came out, he realized it. Yes, He Yiming likes him, so he will watch this kind of drama.
He Yiming on the other end of the phone paused and said, "I sometimes make adjustments. Besides, I'll be curious as to what this drama will look like."
Su Pei asked cautiously, "How is it?"
He Yiming said, "Actually, it's better than I thought. Of course, it's all thanks to your script. As for the actors, the male lead is too bad, and Fang Ziling is not so good. It's your script that's leading people away."
Su Pei has now lost the ability to judge. He didn't know if He Yiming was telling the truth or whether he was happy because he liked him.
"Really?" he asked.
He Yiming said, "Of course it is. If you don't believe me, you can look at the online reviews. Why should I lie to you."
At this time, Su Pei's heart would be shaken again and again. Because He Yiming's tone sounded too normal.
Maybe it was because he was too narcissistic, because he misunderstood, that he thought that He Yiming liked him.
After a week, Su Pei went to the psychiatrist again.
"It's still my friend. Every time I watch his actions, I will think whether he has a crush on me. But sometimes, I feel that maybe I think too much. I am passing through every word and every word of his. An action to analyze, what is he thinking, what does he want."
The psychiatrist said "then it puts a huge psychological burden on you."
This is inevitable. If one person scrutinizes the words and deeds of another person as a riddle, it will inevitably be a burden, because he will never have a definite answer.
Su Pei said, "Should I have a showdown with him?"
The psychiatrist said, "I can't tell you what to do, but I want you to be fully prepared for whatever you do. Like you said, you don't want to lose this friend, so can you be prepared to lose him? "
Su Pei thought about it, and seemed to make up his mind, "Yes, if I want to talk to him, then I must be prepared."
The doctor nodded.
Then Su Pei asked, "Doctor Xu, is homosexuality born?"
The doctor's eyes flashed and asked, "Why do you ask that?"
Su Pei whispered, "I want to know him better... my friend. I always thought I was the one who knew him the best, and knew him very well. As a result, I haven't seen his real side for so many years. Maybe it was The real side."
He did not see the truth of He Yiming, nor could he perceive He Yiming's pain.
"I feel like I know too little about homosexuality and want to know more so I can have a good talk with him."