After He Yiming left, Su Pei sat on the balcony for a while. He opened the window. The air in the summer night was a little hot and sticky.
At this time, Su Pei should take advantage of his free time to change the script, but now he only has He Yiming's words in his mind, and he can't calm down.
He wanted to call Dr. Xu, but Dr. Xu was no longer his doctor, and it was not work time, so he couldn't take other people's rest time.
He flips through the phone. Xiaoyan sent him a few messages and asked him how he was playing with Little Cookie. She probably felt guilty and didn't ask much.
His mother Wen Xinlan also sent him a message. Wen Xinlan asked Su Pei to send her more photos, and she also attacked and asked why Su Pei didn't take a few photos with Xiaoyan. She still didn't know that Xiaoyan didn't come, and she still had some expectations in her heart. She thought that the girl was good, and she might have a play with Su Pei.
Su Pei didn't explain to her mother, but just sent her a lot of pictures of little cookies, and said that she brought her some special gifts.
In the end, Su Pei called Yao Zhicheng.
Lao Yao is a mutual friend of him and He Yiming. The friendship has been from university to the present. He knows He Yiming and Lao Yao very well. Su Pei thought about some things, and Lao Yao might be more transparent than him.
Lao Yao didn't know that He Yiming and Su Pei came to Shanghai together.
As soon as the call was connected, he teased Su Pei: "How are you and your little girlfriend? Can she get along with Cookie?"
Su Pei stroked his forehead and said, "No. She has something to do temporarily and didn't come."
Lao Yao noticed that Su Pei's tone was a little low. He asked, "Then you are carrying cookies in Shanghai alone, can you handle it?"
Su Pei said, "It's okay. He Yiming is also there."
Yao Zhicheng asked: "He also has something to do in Shanghai? That's a coincidence. What's the matter? You two quarreled again?"
Su Pei paused, he couldn't throw the bomb to Lao Yao. He just wanted to find someone to chat with.
"It's about my new book... It's a bit of a quarrel. The preface of the new book I wrote was criticized by He Yiming."
Yao Zhicheng seemed to have heard something new and laughed, "Would he like what you wrote? This is too rare."
After listening to Su Pei's description, Yao Zhicheng said, "Don't take it to heart, you didn't write for him, he alone cannot represent all readers. He Yiming... It's scary to pursue perfection. You should know this very well."
Su Pei said, "Maybe I don't know him well."
"Huh?" Of course Yao Zhicheng couldn't understand the meaning of Su Pei's words.
Although he didn't tell the truth, Su Pei was a bit of a distraction.
That night, Su Pei still couldn't sleep, he turned on the computer and started to write something random. Maybe there are some things that can't be said to He Yiming, but they can be written.
But he wrote a few openings, but he couldn't go on. Because now he and He Yiming can't tell the truth, it's a confused account. He told He Yiming that day that their "friendship" could not continue like this. He thought that He Yiming understood his hint, but He Yiming still inserted his life forcefully.
But how long can they last in this state? He couldn't bear it, and He Yiming shouldn't bear such torment.
They are all running away, running away from positive problems.
Su Pei closed the computer and tossed around on the bed. In the dead of night, he only had to face himself, and he finally felt wronged - in the face of this situation, of course he wanted to escape.
He, never thought that there would be a man with emotional entanglement, not to mention that this man is his good friend and brother. No matter how much he admired or even admired He Yiming in the past, it didn't mean that he thought about kissing, stroking or having sex with He Yiming.
So he suddenly found out that he was the object of He Yiming's sexual fantasies. Of course he was too shocked to escape. It was unusual that he did not completely break up with He Yiming in a panic.
Su Pei imagined what would happen if this happened to Yao Zhicheng, and concluded that he would not hesitate to explain to Lao Yao and keep a polite distance.
Switching to any same-sex friend will give the same result. Only in He Yiming, he was at a loss.
It's perfectly normal for him to run away.
What Su Pei couldn't figure out was, what was He Yiming escaping from
He kept thinking about it.
He Yiming did not fall asleep at this time. He sleeps little, four or five hours a day is enough. But there was another reason today. After he returned to the hotel at night, he received a fucking call.
He Yiming had been in Shanghai for a few days before Zou Yongmei knew. She didn't know about He Yiming's work, so she never asked. She only called to ask about the arrangements for his 30th birthday celebration.
She also told He Yiming a piece of good news: "You know, Yang Lun's youngest daughter is going back to China, and her mother wants to introduce you to each other. I have invited her to your birthday party."
The Yang family made medical equipment and precision instruments, and it has been almost 20 years since their fortune. He Yiming, the youngest daughter of his family, had heard of it before. It is said that she is very beautiful and has some popularity on the Internet. Studying abroad before has been the pursuit of many international students. Many boys dream of marrying this top Bai Fumei, and they can reach the sky in one step.
He Yiming poured himself a glass of wine while listening to Zou Yongmei gushing about how good this girl was.
He sometimes felt that apart from his looks, he really didn't inherit any of his mother's character.
His mother was a gentle and bleak person without a strong personality, so she could live with his father without incident, and occasionally had the illusion of love.
She was just a survivor who followed the crowd and finally found peace and abundance in her old age. Now, like all old people of traditional thinking, she only hopes for one thing - her son gets married and has children.
He Yiming knew very well that if he yelled at her like his father, she would just swallow it silently and would never disobey him. But he didn't want to do it. His ordinary and lovely mother is his last trace of nostalgia.
He said: "It's okay to meet, but you don't have any hopes. I don't like pampered eldest ladies."
He said and drank a glass of wine.
Zou Yongmei said: "You can see it first. I heard that the child is very good! It is not comparable to any model or actor in the entertainment industry. It is really educated and learned."
She asked again carefully, "Who are you with in Shanghai?"
He Yiming held the empty wine glass: "No one. How can I ask this?"
Zou Yongmei said, "I heard people say I saw you at Shanghai Disneyland, but I said it was wrong. How could you go to Disneyland? Isn't that a place for children to play?"
He Yiming said, "I've recognized the wrong person." He didn't want to say more, and hung up the phone in a hurry.
A day later, He Yiming took Su Pei and Xiao Quqi to a Michelin restaurant for dinner. The new Michelin rating of this restaurant is extremely popular, but He Yiming reserved a box with just one phone call.
He Yiming invited Su Pei to a meal, which was an apology for his previous missteps.
Not talking much during the meal, Su Pei asked He Yiming if he was going to fly back to Beijing today. He Yiming said, "Yes, the plane tonight."
Su Pei said, "Then I won't send you."
He Yiming said, "No, I'll see you when you return to Beijing."
After eating, they originally planned to go to an exhibition, but the weather was bad and it rained heavily. Su Pei lost his mood. He remembered that he hadn't touched his script for two days. So I have to take the little cookie back to the apartment.
He Yiming drove them back, Su Pei got out of the car with Little Cookie, and thanked He Yiming: "With you here these days, Little Cookie had a good time."
He Yiming asked, "How about you?"
Su Pei held up the umbrella and said, "With you here, I feel much more relaxed."
He Yiming looked at him and said, "Go upstairs, it's raining too much."
Before Su Pei said "Goodbye, slow down on the road" to him, the car window had already been raised.
Su Pei returned to the apartment with the little cookie. He let Little Cookie watch TV in the room, and walked around the living room twice. He had a lot of words in his heart now, and he felt that he had to say it to He Yiming. He has not been like this for a long time, reckless, intuitive, impulsive, he knows that his choice is on a very dangerous line, he is now that Schrödinger's cat, he may live or die, but he himself Do not know at all.
Su Pei walked around the living room again, he suddenly seemed to remember something, he rushed to the balcony, and sure enough he saw He Yiming's car - He Yiming didn't leave, he just parked the car on the side of the community road , still seeing the location of his apartment.
Su Pei's heart was beating, but he couldn't control himself. He opened his suitcase, and there lay a black gift box with his gift to He Yiming. Su Pei took out the gift box. Then he fumbled in the mezzanine of the trunk and found a pack of cigarettes. He tore open the cigarette case, took out a cigarette and went to the bathroom to light it.
He had to smoke a cigarette now to calm himself.
Maybe he hadn't smoked for too long, maybe he was too nervous and coughed after taking a big breath. He covered his mouth with one hand and his chest with the other, coughing for a while before it subsided.
He took two more slow puffs, then snuffed out the cigarette.
The heavy rain was still falling, and there was a faint roar of thunder from time to time.
Su Pei went to the balcony again, where He Yiming's car was still parked. He waited for five minutes, ten minutes, but He Yiming still didn't leave. Su Pei finally called He Yiming.
He Yiming picked it up immediately: "What's the matter?"
Su Pei said, "I remembered something I forgot to give you, wait a moment."
He went downstairs with the gift box.
He Yiming sat in the car and saw Su Pei walking slowly, opened the car door, and sat in the co-pilot seat.
He saw the gift box in Su Pei's hand and guessed what it was.
"This is a birthday present. I won't wait until the day. I will give it to you in advance." Su Pei said, and he handed the gift box to He Yiming.
He Yiming took it silently.
He didn't open it, just put it on his lap.
"This is a gift I gave you as a friend," Su Pei said, "because when I prepare a gift for you, all I think about is that you are my best friend..."
He Yiming thought that Su Pei was here to pronounce his fate.
Strangely, he didn't find this scene unfamiliar at all. He seems to have experienced this kind of conversation a thousand times - Su Pei looked at him apologetically and looked at him with a kind of tender pity, but there was no room in his words.
He interrupted Su Pei and asked, "Su Pei, when did you know?"
Su Pei thought that it would be too hypocritical to ask "know what?" at this time. He said, "You hurt your foot. I went to the farm to see you. Your mother went too. I saw that I sent you off before. sports watch... your mother said it was from someone you like. I just found out..."
He Yiming closed his eyes, he thought, so it was. Indeed, after that time, Su Pei's attitude was a little strange. It was difficult for him to dodge and struggle for more than two months.
He doesn't want to talk at all now.
Su Pei said: "This incident is so unexpected that I even think you have become very unfamiliar. It is no longer the He Yiming I have known for more than ten years... I try to recall the time when we first met. What are you and what am I."
He Yiming said: "Have you ever thought that maybe I haven't let you know for so many years, I don't want you to know?"
Su Pei felt bitter in his heart, he said, "I thought about it."
The car was quiet for a while, except for the sound of rain outside the car.
After a few seconds, Su Pei said: "Yi Ming, but now I know. Then none of us can escape, we can only face it. I have not only thought about it, I have been thinking about it. Your character is like this. , you're still He Yiming. You can't stand failure, let alone pity..."
He Yiming said, "Then why did you tell me this?"
Su Pei looked at him, he could feel his hands trembling, but he had to go on: "Because this matter can't be dragged on like this, there must be an end, and I don't want to see you hurt..."
He Yiming leaned forward and suddenly stretched out his hand. He reached out and stroked Su Pei's forehead, face, hair, and then pressed the back of his head. Su Pei's voice disappeared, and he stopped talking.
He Yiming held his head, and the two faces were pressed together. He kissed Su Pei's lips.
"I don't want to see you hurt either." He Yiming thought that he could no longer listen to Su Pei. "I don't want to see you hurt either," the second half of this sentence must be "but...".
"I don't want to see you hurt, but I still can't accept this kind of unhealthy love."
"I don't want to see you hurt, but long pain is worse than short pain."
He can't let Su Pei go on, he wants to tell Su Pei that things are not as simple as he imagined, and a few words can solve the problem.
Su Pei was fixed by this kiss. He never thought that He Yiming's lips were so warm. The kiss was gentle for only the first second, but it instantly turned into a strong intrusion that robbed him of all his breath, but the touch felt better than he had imagined, and the long kiss ended, and he almost held on Don't live in the body.
He unconsciously wiped his lips with his fingers and looked at He Yiming in confusion.
He was going to say, "I don't want to see you hurt, so I want to give it a shot. Maybe we can give it a shot. Although your personality is more suited to being a friend than a couple, I don't know why, I just can't make up my mind. come to reject you..."
It seemed that he didn't have to say that.
He looked at He Yiming, but He Yiming's expression was not as excited as he imagined.
He Yiming still had a cold and sad expression.
He opened his mouth: "Su Pei, you don't have to think how painful it is for me, and you don't have to use your writer's rich imagination to outline a long crush. Not really. Maybe I do have some... fantasy about you. . But I respect myself and respect you. Because I know your obsession with women. We can maintain a relationship that is more intimate than friends, but not too much, so I have not had any dissatisfaction for more than ten years. "
Su Pei murmured, "What are you talking about?"
He couldn't believe He Yiming said this after he just kissed him. He was in chaos.
He Yiming went on to say: "I have always kept the gift you gave me for the first time, the sports watch. This is true, it is a kind of memory. If I have regrets, it is regret that I was with you in college. Nothing happened. After all, you were the most beautiful back then. No one can compare to you back then, and neither can you now."
He reached out and wiped Su Pei's lips lightly with his fingers, and said, "Look, I just proved it."
Su Pei looked pale: "Prove what?"
He Yiming said: "As long as I want, I can get anything I want. I didn't come to get it, I just don't want to."
Su Pei couldn't feel the trembling anymore. The lingering warmth on his lips disappeared. The rain was silent. He can't feel anything. He only saw He Yiming's lips opened and closed, and in just a few words, everything was shattered.
After a while, Su Pei heard himself ask, "Do you really want to?"
He was like a teenage ignorant street boy, trying to squeeze a smile, hopeless.
He Yiming said: "Do you think I've seen you when you were the most high-spirited, do you still think about it when you see it now? I take care of you just because of my habit for so many years, maybe it's still a little ambiguous, but think about it carefully. , that's why I can't bear to see you turn into the mess you are now. Probably... pity."
Su Pei couldn't listen any more, he said, "I see."
He hurriedly opened the door and rushed out.
"Su Pei!" He Yi called him.
Su Pei turned to look at him. He was soaked in the pouring rain for a few seconds. But he had no idea: "What?"
He Yiming handed him the umbrella: "Your umbrella."