It was already eleven o'clock in the evening when Liu Mei called, Sui Qingchi woke up from the sofa, her first reaction was why the lights in the room were on? Fu wrong back? He half-raised up suddenly, but there was no sound in the room except for the ringing of the mobile phone. He looked to the closet, and there was no electric guitar. Fu Cuo did not come back. It took him a few seconds to remember that he had turned on the light by himself.
Sit up, took the phone to answer the call, rubbed the sore eyes, and said "Hello" very softly.
Liu Mei heard the hoarseness in his voice, was taken aback for a moment, and then asked: "How is it?"
"...he refused to sign the contract." Sui Qingchi said.
"Really?" Liu Mei said, "Then you also tried your best."
Sui Qingchi lowered his head, leaned his arms on his knees, and lowered his body very low, his back seemed to be pressed down by something. He looked at the shadow on the floor and heard Liu Mei say:
"Sui Qingchi, he is him, you are you, why do you have to bind him and the band? Everyone is an independent individual. When they come, they come alone, and when they leave, they leave alone. You can live a wonderful life by yourself, just try it and you will know.”
He closed his eyes a little irritatedly, and Fu Cuo's sentence "I wish you all the best" was still in his mind, lingering, Liu Mei's voice couldn't come in anyway, and when Liu Mei wanted to continue talking, he almost didn't look at patience General interrupted her in one breath:
"But I feel bad right now."
He shouldn't have said these things to Liu Mei, but now he has no one to talk to, he is really bored to the point of exploding.
"Then do you want to sing? Do you want to stand on the stage with tens of thousands of people?" Liu Mei asked, "If you sign the contract, it will be fulfilled immediately. The company will hire you the best music producer, and you will be able to be your own right away. .”
Sui Qingchi frowned, and said, "Give me some more time."
Fu Cuo didn't come back the next day, and on the third day, Sui Qingchi slept on that bed alone, suffering from insomnia all night, got up to drink water, washed his face, and went back to sleep. He knew where Fu Cuo was. Several times he went downstairs to eat, walked downstairs in a trance, and left in a hurry when he saw a familiar figure appearing on the balcony.
If he did nothing wrong, why is he so guilty
If he's really wrong, doesn't he really deserve a better future
He didn't know how many days this cold war would last, but he knew that Fu Cuo would come back, always, it was only a matter of time. On the fourth day, when he was lying alone on the bed, looking at the light on the ceiling, he told himself this, and closed his eyes sleepily.
Liu Mei called him a few more times, one time he was staring at the electric kettle in a daze, one time he was tuning the guitar, when the phone rang, his hands trembled, the 1st string broke with a bang, and he got up irritably After slamming the door and going out, the door slammed shut behind him, only to realize that he forgot to bring the key. He was standing in the corridor of the apartment, wearing a black vest, camouflage beach pants, and slippers on his feet. Through the door, he heard the phone was still ringing in the room, and he just left all the keys of the phone in the room, like a The idiot who was kicked out by his own anger.
After standing for an indeterminate amount of time, the phone stopped ringing, and then rang again after a while. He was worried that Fu had called by mistake, so he reflexively went to the door and held the doorknob, but he didn't know what to do.
He yanked on the door, cursed "Fuck", and the hallway fell awkwardly silent amidst his curses.
On the fifth day without Fu Cuo, Sui Qingchi felt that her life had come to a complete standstill.
Fortunately, the landlord happened to come over to fix the toilet next door that day. Sui Qingchi only closed the door for half an hour before going in. The call was not from Fu Cuo, but from Loki. Sui Qingchi was a little disappointed and didn't call back. In the past, he threw away his mobile phone, fell on the bed, and fell asleep after a while. Although he was still half asleep, the bed seemed very light, which made him restless.
The phone rang again at noon the next day. It wasn't Fu's fault, but Loki. This time Sui Qingchi answered the phone, only to find out that M overheard their conversation and told AK in private. Hearing the words on the other side of the phone, he became angry immediately, and stood up abruptly: "What the hell has nothing to do with him?! Is he mentally ill?!"
The innocent Loki bore his fire instead of M, and said "Sui Qingchi, calm down" several times, but he still couldn't calm Sui Qingchi's anger. Sui Qingchi's mood deteriorated in a second, as if he had encountered a flash.
"Don't let me calm down! Why should I be calm?! Why?!"
Loki waited until he was done venting, and finally said, "He's not doing it right, but sooner or later you'll have to say it too, haven't you already decided to sign?"
Sui Qingchi stood in the middle of the empty room, and Loki's rhetorical question was like a basin of cold water, pouring him speechless, but he was suddenly enlightened, how could he forget about signing the contract? All he thought about these days was Fu Wrong, what is he thinking, what to do, when will he come back. He finally figured it out, it turned out that Fu Cuo was pinching his life. He is the switch of his emotions, the coordinates of his life, the time scale, the dimension of space, the temperature, hunger and sleep.
There was still a tuner on the acoustic guitar on the sofa, he walked over to sit down, gently took off the tuner, and said to Loki, "You remember to tell M, wait until I come back and hit him in the face."
Loki on the other end of the phone fell silent suddenly, as if hearing the overtones, he asked in disbelief, "...Are you serious? Don't you regret it?"
Sui Qingchi sat on the sofa with his back bent, listening to Loki saying in his ear, "After all, this is the opportunity that many people dream of..." He hadn't fallen asleep for several days, his right eye was dry and sore, like a grain of sand embedded in it. Inside, I raised my hand to rub it, but nothing came out until my eyes were wet.
How ridiculous, he thought he could get away, but Fu Cuo wouldn't let him go, he couldn't go anywhere.
He raised his head, pretending to be chic and said: "If you regret it, if you don't say it, who knows."
Today was the weekend, and Sui Qingchi went to the bar where Tan Si worked part-time with his guitar on his back. The small blackboard at the door of the bar read "Today's band performance is cancelled", which he recognized as Fu Cuo's handwriting.
Standing there looking at it for a while, he turned around and tried to find a brush and chalk to erase and rewrite this line, but he couldn't find it. He looked in the door, and there were already a few customers in the bar. He saw Yao from the direction of the bar. Uncle, I felt a little embarrassed, so I didn't go in through the main entrance, but walked through the staff passage at the back door.
He planned to go to the backstage to stay first, and then send a message to let them come over. He had already thought about what to say at that time, AK would definitely rush over to beat him, and he was ready, and now he just wanted to get back with that person Well, I don’t even have the energy to think about it.
Walking into the passage, there is a door on the right side of the narrow passage. Before the performance, they will all gather in the room behind the door to make final preparations before going on stage. Sui Qingchi stopped in her tracks because someone was talking in the room.
"The performance can be canceled, what about the CD? Sui Qingchi, that bastard, is so fucking good at picking the right time to go solo! Since he has already contacted him, why didn't he mention it before making the album, did he deliberately try to scare us?!"
It is AK.
"sorry."
When Sui Qingchi heard Fu Cuo's apology, he even thought it came from his heart for a moment, but the voice sounded dry and hoarse. Sui Qingchi stood in the aisle, grabbed the shoulder strap of the guitar bag, and went to the place with difficulty. Take a step forward.
"We won't release the CD." Fu Cuo said again.
Sui Qingchi was stunned, staring up at the door, and heard Fu Cuo saying intermittently:
"The money spent is mine."
"Throw away the cover, too."
"The album will be re-recorded later when there is a new lead singer."
"… what else?"
There was a dead silence in the room, and no one answered Fu Cuo's question. Sui Qingchi's eyes were red, and he stared at the light in the crack of the door. After a long while, he heard Tan Si's voice: "I think, since he has already contacted the signing company, he probably wants to stay and finish the album well." Bar."
"I know." Fu Cuo said.
The voice spoke one after another, squeezing out little by little like a towel that has been wrung dry:
"He said that the band name can be used repeatedly in the future, and there is no need to pay him copyright fees."
"I thought he was joking at the time, but I didn't expect that to be the meaning..."
"But I don't want that."
"I rely on the wrong brother, don't do this!" AK suddenly said, "Let's find another lead singer! A genius like Sui Qingchi, we can't afford it. Even if he doesn't leave today, he will leave tomorrow! It's so wrong It's not your fault!"
"It's my fault," Fu Cuo said, "He's not wrong. He's been being himself. I think he's wrong. I think he's doing what I expect. He just can't do it..." At this point he His tone finally calmed down a bit, "That's good, people from two worlds, it's good to recognize it early..."
The room became quiet again, and the veins on the back of Sui Qingchi's hand holding the shoulder strap bulged, feeling like he was being tortured, counting down to the last knife.
"... Are those songs really going to be re-recorded?" Tan Si asked, "The fans..."
"Re-record, I will rewrite the lyrics too." Fu Cuo said.
Sui Qingchi's eyes were filled with anger and tears, and at that moment he finally turned around quickly and left. There was a "boom" in his mind, as if the last thickest string on the guitar had also been broken.
The pedestrian street on weekends is full of people, and people pass by like ghosts. Occasionally, he can hear the voices of couples talking, and there are a few sentences that he and Fu Cuo once said, and they turned their heads subconsciously, unable to bear it. Living in my heart viciously wishes all the couples in this square a happy breakup one day.
I don't know when I came to the familiar tunnel again. One night he and Fu Cuo walked through here. At that time, he felt that they were so close, like a life in a womb. When other lives are killing each other, When they were vying for the only place to come to this world, they already fell in love, shared all the nutrients, shared every inch of space, and would rather be weak, thin, malnourished, and embrace each other to come to this world. At that time, who said that he would only write songs for him for the rest of his life? Now who said to delete all the songs he sang and the words he wrote
Walking out of the tunnel, in front of him is the bridge that the four of us have walked on many times. The sea breeze is blowing in front of us. It is cold and astringent. The cold wind pours into his lungs, reminding him that he is now a lonely life.
It took him twenty minutes to walk to the middle of the bridge, where no one disturbed him anymore. He took out the house key from the pocket of his denim vest and wanted to throw it out. He raised his arm a few times, but in the end he couldn't do it. He really wanted to know how Fu Cuo did it.
Standing by the bridge, looking down at the bunch of keys hanging on his fingers, in the background, the turbulent gulf stream hits white waves on the rocks:
"You are cruel enough..."
You fucking just want a lead singer, so I can have a relationship with you by the way! As long as I stay in the band, you are the perfect lover for the rest of my life. Once I quit the band, I will have nothing. I don't even deserve to be a fucking ex-lead singer or ex-boyfriend, right? ! !
You can refill the lyrics for your song, but what about my lyrics
They're all rubbish now, aren't they
Tan Si walked into the staff bathroom and saw Fu Cuo wash his face with cold water, and silently turned on the water.
"... are you okay?" he asked softly.
Fu Cuo supported the sink with his hands, cold water dripped from his hair and cheeks: "Did I do a lot of things wrong?" He tried his best to recall where, when, what decision he made, what he said What kind of words triggered the butterfly effect, leading to today's situation. The more I think about it, the more I feel that every sentence can be reconsidered, every matter can have a better result, and every decision can be reconsidered. One by one, every word, may be the fuse of today .
"You're right." Tan Si shook his shoulder, "Anyone else can't do better than you, don't be too harsh on yourself."
"Then is he wrong? He is also right," Fu Cuo looked up at the mirror, "In the final analysis, it was because I couldn't achieve his dream. I always thought that if I worked harder, he could see a little hope. I think he is so worthy of my hard work! But maybe... No matter how hard I try, I can't reach his goal. I thought his goal was here, but in fact it is far away, I can't see it at all... He should go, He's a genius, I'm just mortal."
Tan Si looked at Fu Cuo's red eye circles, and when he said "he is so worthy of my life", he really almost cried. The best brother in his life, the last time he was so sad in memory was when his grandmother passed away. "Actually," he hesitated, "it should be hard for him to make this decision."
Fu Cuo lowered his head, wiped the sink that was splashed with water with a towel, and said wearily: "No matter how hard it is, he did it, which shows how important this decision is to him. West Wind is nothing to him..."
I am nothing.
The fans who came to the bar to watch the performance that day returned disappointed. Someone even asked them if Sui Qingchi was sick, and the three of them didn't know how to answer.
After Fu Cuo and AK went back, Tan Si worked part-time at the bar until one o'clock in the morning. Uncle Yao asked them what their plans were next.
Everyone has discussed this point, Tan Si said: "Talk to the fans about this matter first, what should go, what should stay, and then we will find a new lead singer."
Uncle Yao shook his head emotionally: "It's a pity...but fortunately there is still an album left."
Speaking of this, Tan Si inevitably felt a little regretful: "Fu Cuo doesn't seem to want to make this album anymore."
"He's just too sad now, let's persuade him later," Uncle Yao said, "I think with Fu Cuo's personality, he will respect everyone's opinions."
Fu Cuo saw Sui Qingchi again on the next night. During this period of time, he lived with Tan Si AK, but his clothes and daily necessities were still in the rental house. Originally, AK said he would get them for him, but he was worried that AK would be impulsive when he saw Sui Qingchi, so he went by himself. When he went downstairs to the apartment, he saw that the windows were dark from a distance, Sui Qingchi should not be there, so he breathed a sigh of relief, went upstairs and opened the door.
The furnishings in the room are still the same as the day he left, even the opening of the curtains has not changed, the wastebasket next to the computer desk is still filled with the scores he wrote and discarded, and the contract he tore up that day has not been thrown in it.
Fu Cuo didn't look much, packed his clothes, took the USB drive and the music score in the drawer, and then heard "click", the sound of the door opening behind him.
Standing at the door, Sui Qingchi seemed a little surprised to see him, because he couldn't remember whether he had turned off the lights when he left.
The two looked at each other, neither of them spoke, and neither of them knew what to say.
Sui Qingchi glanced at him, lowered his head, and walked to the closet with the suitcase. After opening it, he found that only his clothes were left inside, and he took them out without saying a word. In the closet, only those clothes remained. In a dark blue coat, Sui Qingchi covered the suitcase and said, "I should move out, so you don't have to worry about it."
It was only then that Fu Cuo remembered that he had signed a contract with a big company, and he should have arranged a good place for him, so he didn't need to worry about it.
Sui Qingchi carried the suitcase to the entrance, picked up the guitar bag leaning against the door and put it on his shoulder. Before leaving, he asked: "...Are we finished?"
Fu Cuo can't speak, he and Sui Qingchi still have feelings, but when they are no longer each other's lead singer and guitarist, they go their separate ways, going in different directions, when there is no music and dreams between them Relationship, how can we maintain such a luxurious love
"Is there any other way?" he said.
"Understood," Sui Qingchi nodded, and opened the door with a "click", but as if unwilling to reconcile, she turned around and said, "What am I compared to Xifeng?"
Fu Cuo didn't expect him to ask such a question, he never separated Xifeng and Sui Qingchi: "What did you say?"
Sui Qingchi said fiercely: "I ask you and Xifeng, what the hell are you compared to me?!"
Fu Cuo looked at him cold and surly, as if he looked like a different person, and nodded: "I heard clearly, do you have to compare like this?"
Sui Qingchi tensed his jaw: "Do you dare to compare?"
"...Why don't I dare," Fu Cuo looked at him and forced himself to say, "Compared to Xifeng, you are nothing."
Sui Qingchi's eyes turned red immediately, but he held back, Fu Cuo would not be moved by him anymore, so it would be meaningless for him to cry with red eyes, sore nose and sore tears. In the end he just said, "It's different for me, you remember."
He suppressed the choking in his voice with a very low voice, turned around and walked out after speaking, never looking back.
Fu Cuo saw that door covering Sui Qingchi's back. He has never said such cruel words to anyone in his age. The first sentence was actually said to the person he likes the most. It shouldn't be like this, he doesn't like it that much. Human, how can you be willing? Suddenly he regretted it, he was stunned in the room for a moment, couldn't help but opened the door and chased downstairs.
Running to the side of the road, he didn't catch up with Sui Qingchi, but saw the acoustic guitar smashed by Sui Qingchi on the side of the road.
Just now upstairs seemed to hear a bang, he squatted down to pick up the guitar, the neck of the guitar was completely broken by him, and the broken strings of the guitar were wrapped around his fingers, it was so uncomfortable that he laughed with tears in his eyes .
Sui Qingchi got into Liu Mei's car. Seeing his slumped expression, Liu Mei couldn't bear it: "If you really like bands that much, I can help you find your own exclusive band, permanent drummer, guitarist..."
When he heard the word "guitarist", he felt as if his heart had been severely pinched, and said coldly: "No need, I am enough alone." Looking out the window, he said rather self-deprecatingly, "I play the guitar myself. You can also play."