If there is only one day left in your life, how will you spend it
Everyone may have thought about this assumption, but Fu Cuo didn't expect that one day he would really face this problem, and he had to carefully plan how to spend such a day, so it would not be a waste of time.
In fact, there is no fixed answer. At each stage of life, the answer is different. If grandma is still alive, he will want to spend it with grandma. If Tan Si is still alive, he will want to stand with Xifeng for the last time. On stage, on stage, spending the last minute with his band, and then it would be nice if life could come to an abrupt end, like the extinguishing of the stage lights, like the last sound of all the instruments.
This is what everyone wishes, without pain, to bid farewell to this world in the highest peak of happiness.
Leaving the church, the place he most wanted to go was the bachelor apartment where he and Sui Qingchi had been squeezed out.
In less than two months, it was not enough for the world to forget Sui Qingchi, so Sui Qingchi still wore sunglasses when walking on the road. On the way to the rental house, they passed the familiar noodle shop, but they didn't expect it to still be here. This noodle shop is the second place to feed them besides the convenience store downstairs selling instant noodles and fried rice cakes.
It was already a quarter past one in the afternoon, and there were no customers in the noodle shop at the moment. The boss stood behind the counter and counted the income, while the waiter was sweeping the kitchen. Fu Cuo and Sui Qingchi sat down near the door, away from the counter. So the boss and the guy didn't notice them at all.
When Fu Cuo brought the noodles, he saw Sui Qingchi sitting on the outside. When the wind blew in, the cold feeling was blocked by his back.
Fu misplaced it on the bottom and sat down opposite Sui Qingchi, watching Sui Qingchi pull out his chopsticks. He is now wearing a thick enough winter coat, and he already has enough broad shoulders and a back that is enough to block the wind for others. His body has grown for many years, and he hopes that his soul has also grown.
Sui Qingchi's bowl was still the same, with boiled beef, a layer of boiled peas, and a fried egg.
"I haven't been to a noodle restaurant for a long time." Sui Qingchi picked out noodles, bowed his head and took a bite.
Fu Cuo ate the noodles for a while, then looked back at the boss behind the counter. The boss was almost ten years old, with wrinkles around his eyes and forehead. He still remembered the boss, but the other party no longer remembered him.
After eating noodles, they walked along the wet narrow road to the bachelor apartment they remembered.
Behind a billboard, a familiar corner of the apartment building appeared, and Fu Cuo’s pictures of the 30 square meters suddenly came back—the stuffy cabin, the humming air conditioner, the cloth sofa with frayed edges…
He still remembered that he and Sui Qingchi always forgot to close the window when it rained, and the window sill and the floor were often wet. Although it was a double bed, he and Sui Qingchi couldn't sleep enough at all. When they fell asleep, a part of their bodies must be It is overlapping, or feet, or hands. In summer, when the air conditioner is not very cooling, they have slept on the floor. In a season like this, it will be very happy for two people to sleep together. Cheap and thin quilts and beds The heat added by the mattress to their bodies is not as good as that provided by the other party's body. He likes Sui Qingchi in winter the most, and feels that his whole body is as hot as a freshly baked sweet potato.
Now I revisit the old place again, I don’t know why, I feel that the house is much smaller, and the whole apartment building seems to be one size smaller. This provides them with a place to perch, but it's more like a cardboard box with two feral cats huddled by the side of the road than a shelter.
"Has this wall been painted?" Sui Qingchi went downstairs and patted the outer wall, "It wasn't so white before."
"It should be refurbished," Fu Cuo said, "otherwise it would be too old."
In the room where they lived, the window faced a big tree, and there was a set of stone tables and chairs under it, which are all gone now. It is said that the tree was blown down by the typhoon and uprooted. The trees fell and disappeared, and the surrounding vegetation gradually became bald. Fu Cuo thought, maybe in summer, even the cicadas would not be heard. I remember that when Sui Qingchi first moved in to live with him, one morning he got up and opened the window, and the overwhelming sound of cicadas poured in. The nineteen-year-old boy quickly closed the window, turned his head and asked him in shock: "Don't you think Is it noisy?"
He just came out of the bathroom after washing his face, and he was already used to it, but at that moment, Sui Qingchi's tone made him feel a little sorry and embarrassed: "It's noisy."
Sui Qingchi likes to be quiet, and likes to be alone. He doesn't fit anywhere here. Sui Qingchi hates crowds and noise. He hits everything perfectly here.
The 30-square-meter single room does not even have a balcony, and the clothes can only be dried by the window. Once there was a strong wind, Sui Qingchi only played the guitar, and did not remember to pack the underwear hanging out of the window. Fu Cuo braved the strong wind and heavy rain When I came back, I happened to see two people's loose underwear in the grass by the roadside, stepped into the grass and brought them back. Although I can no longer wear them, I always feel that it is inappropriate to leave them outside like this...
After opening the door, Sui Qingchi saw him come back with a pair of underwear, blinked, looked back at the empty window, and asked, "Are those our pants?"
Fu nodded.
Sui Qingchi didn't know what to say, he was forced to sit on the sofa with his guitar in his arms like a child, and Fu Cuo also stood at the windy and rainy doorway with a barefoot child who picked up two fish from the beach. After Sui Qingchi was speechless for a long time, he asked: "...do you still wear it?"
Fu Cuo lifted his trousers and looked at it, and said, "No need, it's just... collecting the corpse."
Then both of them laughed.
At that time, Sui Qingchi was really pure even though he was a secondary school student. Even if he was as vigorous as a young and strong leopard when he did that kind of thing, he would still lower his head and laugh silently when he saw his underwear that was killed in battle. What a shy boy does it take to subconsciously bow his head when he smiles...
Now living in their room is a boy learning vocal music. He may never know that he lives where Sui Qingchi once lived.
Sui Qingchi stood downstairs with her waist tucked in, and after listening to the boy singing a practice song for a while, she shook her head unbearably: "How did you get in?"
Fu Cuo said don't be so mean.
Sui Qingchi's eyebrows were all knotted, like a brat forced to apologize, he let go of his tightly pursed lips and said, "You're right, I was too mean."
When the car was refueling, Sui Qingchi watched the small employees of the gas station standing in a row and being reprimanded, a little nostalgic: "I used to work at the gas station, and when I met someone smoking on the opposite road, I wanted to beat them to death."
"Opposite?" Fu Cuo said, "That shouldn't matter."
"Yes, but I was very afraid of death at that time. Once I took the subway, the subway suddenly stopped in a tunnel and didn't move. The people on the car were all asking what was going on. I was so panicked at that time. For a while, I wondered if it was a terrorist attack, and for a while, I thought about what to do if the subway behind me came and rear-end, I always wanted it to move quickly, move quickly, and don’t let me be unable to go home... "
Fu Cuo looked at Sui Qingchi, with mixed feelings in his heart: "I haven't heard you say that."
"Anyway, it's all right, there's nothing necessary to say." Sui Qingchi turned to ask him when the gas was filled up, "Where do you want to go later?"
I've been shopping all afternoon, and I've been to all the places I want to go in the city. Fu Cuo thought about it and said, "Go to the video store and see if you're confused."
Sui Qingchi started the car, still in high spirits: "It won't be so fast."
"So confident?"
Sui Qingchi put his hands on the steering wheel, looked ahead, and the corners of his mouth slightly hooked: "This is the only thing I'm good at."
Fu Cuo looked at his side face. You are not only good at singing.
When they came to the CBD, the two of them saw the colorful lights hanging all over the street and the Christmas trees decorated in the square, and then they realized that life was in a fog, and today was Christmas Eve before they knew it.
What a coincidence, Fu Cuo thought, it turned out to be such a day.
The largest audio-visual store in the CBD center will have sales rankings every week. It has been half a year since Sui Qingchi's fifth album was released, and it is still in the first place. God Tang Du's new EP, not to mention Fu's mistake, even Sui Tianwang himself was startled, took off his sunglasses and looked at it for a long time, and said, "Could it be that you forgot to change the list?"
Fu Cuo also specifically asked the clerk, and came back to tell the king: "Ask, everyone thinks this is probably your swan song, and it can increase in value after N years, so this period of time is crazy buying, the record company wants to drain your value. , and another wave of reprints." As he said, he also took out a CD, "Then I'll invest in it too."
Sui Qingchi supported the CD rack and laughed uncontrollably: "Then I must die to increase the value."
With a heavy heart, Fu Cuo patted Sui Qingchi on the back pretending to be relaxed: "You won't die, the disaster will last for a thousand years."
When I went to the DVD area, Sui Qingchi's concert was out of stock. Fu Cuo couldn't find the DVD of the latest concert. The original tour stopped at the first show due to later changes, and the Xinghe Stadium became Sui Qingchi's end. show.
Sui Qingchi walked up to him, as if seeing what he was looking for, and said, "It's not that fast."
"When will it be out?"
"If you want to watch it, I'll ask them to send the video to me after editing it."
Fu Cuo nodded. That can't wait anymore.
There was a line at the cash register, and when it was time to pay, Fu went by mistake, and Sui Qingchi waited outside. When I paid with WeChat, I found out that the balance was not enough. The bank card tied to his WeChat wallet was the card that was issued on the self-service card issuing machine when he read CTR. Unexpectedly, the hospital’s examination fees and imported medicines had already spent all the money on the card. . There is still a lot of money left to sell the house, but he has dialed it to the band card. At this moment, he is a little embarrassed, and suddenly the WeChat rang.
He looked down at his phone, and Sui Qingchi sent a 250 yuan red envelope.
"Cash?" the cashier asked.
"No need." He took the red envelope, scanned the QR code, and looked back, Sui Qingchi was leaning against the railing in front of the French window, waving his phone to him to ask for credit.
Fu Cuo withdrew his gaze, seeing such an ordinary and everyday scene made his nose sore.
After leaving the audio-visual building, it was already dusk. The streets that were deserted during the day are now crowded with people. The streets are full of couples. Winter has just arrived, and people can't wait to cuddle up to each other for warmth. Fu Cuo looked at the huge advertisement of the high luxury flagship store in the CBD square, and it was no longer Sui Qingchi. Unfortunately, every time he walked into the square before, Sui Qingchi was there, as if the whole square was lit up. stunning.
When he was in a trance, an arm was wrapped around his arm, and he put his hand into the pocket of his coat. Sui Qingchi's shoulder leaned over and was close to his shoulder, feeling completely different from a girl's heavy and powerful feeling. .
"Is it cold?" Sui Qingchi asked.
In the past, when Sui Qingchi asked him if he was cold, he would always say it was not. Looking at Sui Qingchi's eyes waiting for his reply today, he was suddenly enlightened by the waiting in his eyes.
"A little bit," he said.
Sui Qingchi's hands in his pockets were still wearing gloves, so she put them in his pockets, shook his hands, and said, "Take off my gloves."
Fu Cuo helped Sui Qingchi tear off the black leather gloves in his pocket, and the two of them clasped their fingers together.
He was frightened by the coldness of his palm and the heat in Sui Qingchi's hand.
Sui Qingchi looked at him, didn't say anything, just clenched a little tighter, and said, "Let's walk out from the shopping center."
"Won't you be recognized if you pass through like this?"
"So what if you recognize it?" Sui Qingchi said, shook his hand vigorously, and led him forward.
The shopping mall is under the square. As soon as he stepped on the escalator, Fu Cuo felt that it was too bright. It was not inferior to the shopping malls on the ground, but it was much more crowded than on the ground. Sui Qingchi was rubbing his heels even though he was wearing sunglasses. If you walk in the crowd on your shoulders, you will definitely be recognized.
When he walked down the escalator, he found that Sui Qingchi walked very silently all the way, he had seen such a stubborn and silent look before.
There was a lot of traffic ahead, so Fu Cuo stopped and said, "I'm a little thirsty, let's go up and buy a drink."
Sui Qingchi looked at him from behind the sunglasses, but didn't speak.
Fu Cuo thought to himself, what else do you want to do
A few seconds later, Sui Qingchi nodded: "Okay, go up."
On Christmas Eve, it is not easy to find a milk tea shop with few people. It is hard to find a place without queuing. Maybe because the store is on the basement floor, you have to walk down a set of steps. The facade is too careless. Fu Cuoxin think. Sui Qingchi was waiting on it, and Fu Cuo went down to buy two cups of hot cocoa. When the clerk brought him the hot drink, he turned around and took a few steps with the cup in his hand, when suddenly there was a "snap", and the cup in his left hand was empty. Prominently knocked to the ground.
He looked down at the cup that fell from his left hand strangely, not knowing how it fell from his well-held hand...
"What's wrong?"
Fu Cuo raised his head when he heard the sound, and saw Sui Qingchi walking down the steps, looking suspiciously at the overturned hot drink on the ground.
"I was hit by someone just now..." Fu Cuo said.
He squatted down and wanted to pick up the cup and throw it into the trash can. Sui Qingchi had already bent down to pick up the paper cup. When he got up, he crushed the cup, walked across and threw it into the trash can.
Fu Cuo looked at his back: "I'll go buy another cup."
"No need," Sui Qingchi walked back, "I'm not thirsty, you can drink this cup."
He followed Sui Qingchi up, holding the cup of hot cocoa with both hands. Coming to the bustling commercial street, Sui Qingchi looked around, took a deep breath and exhaled again, white mist drifted over his frowning brows: "There are too many people, suffocating..."
Fu wrongly smiled and asked, "How do you want to spend Christmas Eve?"
"Me?" Sui Qingchi turned his head and curled his lips, "I don't have any special thoughts, just the two of us together... let's watch the Christmas Eve show." He looked at Fu Cuo and asked uncertainly, "After watching Maybe you can make love?"
On the streets where people come and go, even if the word "make love" is used instead of those two words, Fu Cuo feels that it is too much.
Sui Qingchi lowered his head and smiled, then raised his eyes to peek at him again.
Fu Cuo looked at his blushing smiling face, and thought that it's really wonderful that there are pure and dirty people in this world.
Today is Christmas Eve. When passing by the pet store, Fu Cuo got out of the car and bought a lot of snacks for the dog. Back at the villa, he asked Sui Qingchi to carry the bag of snacks. The dog was really happy, and jumped up and threw Sui Qingchi with a face full of saliva. Sui Tianwang scolded the big dog, but his ears were red, and he didn't know it was frozen. Yes, still ashamed by a dog's enthusiasm.
Fu Cuo looked back at this scene, thinking how good it would be for you to accept other people's love so generously.
In the evening, the two watched the new season of "The King of Music" together. They originally wanted to watch Zhong Dao, but unexpectedly they saw Tang Du. Tang Du had appeared in "The King of Music" before and won the championship. Even Fu Cuo was a little surprised when Dao’s guest singer was there. He didn’t expect Tang Du to really appreciate Zhong Dao. He couldn’t help but glance at Sui Qingchi on the sofa. He’s also a mentor. You really can’t do it, Sui light ride...
It is always rumored that Sui Qingchi and Tang Du are kings, but Fu Cuo went to the bar to rinse his coffee cups. When he passed behind the sofa, he watched TV and couldn't help asking: "Do you really not go when Tang Du is around?" ?"
Sui Qingchi's expression was very disapproving: "I don't know how it got out, I've sung all his songs, so there's nothing to be afraid of."
No one said you are afraid of him, okay, Fu Cuo thought dumbfoundedly, you are twenty-eight years old, are you going to engrave the word "Zhong Er" on the epitaph? Then I thought, then probably I can only engrave on my tombstone, I loved a second-year-old boy.
The song Tang Du and Zhong Dao sang this time is "Beautiful". When the host announced the title of the song, Sui Qingchi was stunned until the screen displayed "Composer/Arrangement: Fu Cuo, Lyricist: Sui Qingchi" Only after reading the subtitles did he confirm that it was really the song "Beautiful" he sang.
"Are you confessing to me?" Sui Qingchi smiled and shook his head, "It's a pity that brother is already a legend in the world."
Fu Cuo looked down at Sui Qingchi who was lazily leaning on the sofa. He was standing behind the sofa and could see the top of Sui Qingchi's head. His soft and natural black hair shone under the light. Sui Qingchi Although her hair is soft, it is not completely straight, with a certain unruly and graceful curvature. The light gave his auricles a sense of transparency, reminding him of the chance meeting on the bus, the sunlight shone through the dusty glass on Sui Qingchi's auricles, soft and bright.
On the TV, the prelude of the strings played out, and Tang Du quietly sang this song "Beautiful". I listened at night.
once i saw a pair of eyes
gaze at it and forget the wildness
wonder in the wild
muddy swamp
no longer make sense
I don't want to be a running slave anymore
I picked up a pen to draw it
pale paper
splashed with gorgeous
escape from the dark forest
I just know
this is love
I'm like a cicada that only lives for seven days
looking up
eternal star
because of beauty
it is unsophisticated
neither good nor bad
it just makes me
deeply fascinated
Fu Cuo listened to this song. When he wrote this song, he hadn't loved, didn't understand love, and didn't understand the lyrics he wrote. Today, there seems to be nothing wrong with it. He was grateful for that encounter, for the pair of eyes he had seen, for taking him out of the wilderness and swamp of life. From then on, his forest was colorful and full of light, even at the end of his life.
He looked down at Sui Qingchi who was quietly listening to the song. If he hadn't met this person in his life, he would just plainly wait for the serious illness to take his life away.
"...how is he singing?" Sui Qingchi turned to look back at him.
He can never sing as well as you, Fu Cuo slowly bent down, and put his hands on Sui Qingchi's shoulders, because this song can only be sung by you.
Sui Qingchi raised his chin with a smile, Fu Cuo kissed from the right side, he raised his head to meet him, when the two lips touched, he raised his right hand, wide palm, and clasped the spread fingers behind Fu Cuo's head, they were like this A meaningful kiss was exchanged in the singing.
Fu Cuo got up at six o'clock in the morning. He didn't close his eyes for more than five hours. It was still dark outside the window. There was thick fog, mountains and forests, and he couldn't see anything. When he got out of bed, he felt Sui Qingchi touch his hand, turned his head, saw Sui Qingchi opened his eyes sleepily, and suddenly raised his heart, but Sui Qingchi just looked at him sleepily, and was sleepy again. closed his eyes.
He looked so satisfied, with a slight curve at the corner of his mouth, Fu Cuo lay down on the side of the bed again, until Sui Qingchi fell into a deep sleep again.
He had never felt that this big bed was so soft, like a cloud, making people reluctant to get up.
Gently got out of bed, this time the person on the bed didn't feel anything, he stood at the head of the bed, looking at the sleeping person, in the silence and darkness, tears blurred his vision violently.
Let Sui Qingchi know that he is going to die, and no matter what he does, it will be irreparable. This is something he absolutely cannot allow. He was afraid that he would really accompany him to die.
When he opened the door and went downstairs, there were footsteps behind him. He turned around and saw a big white dog coming out of the bedroom door, standing at the other end of the aisle and looking at him. He looked at the animal that accompanied Sui Qingchi's lonely time, and felt that it was not as dull as it looked, and its eyes were full of spirituality. He walked over, knelt down and rubbed its soft ears:
"Goodbye, dog, he loves you, you should stay with him well."
This time there was nothing to take with him, the guitar, the bass, the score and the laptop with the songs recorded, he never had to take it with him again. It was still not clear when we left the villa, so it was hard to tell whether it was night or day. How much he hopes that the earth will stop its rotation, and time will stay at this moment forever, not to turn to the other side, not to meet the sun, but every step he takes, the sky becomes bluer.
He doesn't have much luggage, only a handbag, which he brought with him when he moved to the villa. There are only simple clothes and necessities in it, and he hasn't touched any of them. Such a light luggage dragged him heavily, as long as he thought of Sui Qingchi behind him, still sleeping in a self-righteous dream, not knowing what he would face when he woke up, he wanted to run back several times.
Every step you take, you will be farther away from him. Every step you take is to slowly write the word "farewell". Every step now is a punishment for the past where they were stubborn, failed each other, and wasted time.
The taxi turned the corner, and Fu Cuo leaned on the back seat, watching the sun rise slowly from the gaps in the tall buildings, and the nosebleed suddenly flowed down. After persisting for two months, the magic of returning to the light finally came to an end.
The driver asked with concern if you were okay. Fu Cuo wiped his nosebleed and said he was fine.
He had already arrived at the avenue outside the airport. Almost an hour later, the phone finally rang. He kept it ringing, but he didn't answer it.
The bell stopped, then rang again until it had to be stopped, and then rang again unrelentingly, mixed with the sound of WeChat, the sound of video calls, one after another, even the uncle driver felt the urgency, and looked at him from time to time. glance back.
What is Sui Qingchi doing now? Fu Cuo thought to himself that he should have seen the stack of music scores he left behind, and he might put them down immediately and drive after him, but he didn't explain where he was going. The bar has resigned, the apartment has been sold, etc. Once Sui Qingchi gets into the car, she will know that there is nowhere to be found.
The taxi stopped outside the terminal building, and it was less than half an hour before boarding the plane, so much time was missed, it was impossible for Sui Qingchi to catch up with him again.
The white Cherokee suddenly stopped on the side of the road. When the brakes were applied, the huge inertia of the car's forward movement caused Sui Qingchi's chest to be severely strangled by the seat belt. The phone he had been waiting for for so long finally rang, and he grabbed it. Saw the last message from Fu Cuo.
—I’m sorry, I still decided to return the goods. I’ll give you all the songs. I owe you. Maybe I’ll come back to you after I really figure it out. Maybe a year or two, maybe ten or twenty years, you said yes Wait until I'm eighty years old, it doesn't matter if I don't, just forget about me.