Mother Lin rushed into the room again.
Oncoming, that is, his two children are looking at him with knives in hand, and Lin Shixing's face is particularly stained with tears.
It looks like a suicide scene.
She panicked all of a sudden, her mind went blank, and she rushed up to grab the knife without caring about anything.
At this moment, at least Lin Shixing felt that she also loved herself.
Her heart was full of pain, mixed with confusion and despair.
Since you love me, why don't you give me a chance.
Since you love me, why do you want me to retreat on a dead end
Is it true that the love for the son is so great that it must be filled by sacrificing the daughter
Mother Lin was shaking until she threw the knife in her hand on the ground.
She looked at her daughter with trembling lips, and spoke with a trembling voice: "Lin Shixing, did I owe you in my last life? Do you have to be mad at me to make you happy!!"
In the past, when she showed a sad look, Lin Shixing would not say some hurtful words, and even she was willing to admit her mistake, just so that her mother would not feel sorry for herself.
This may be her most desperate place.
Even if she was pushed to a dead end and stabbed in her heart, she still regarded these people as the people she loved the most and was the least willing to give up.
But this time, Lin Shixing didn't want to step back.
She couldn't control the tears that kept pouring out of her eyes, and she choked intermittently when she spoke, but she still said what she had held back for a long time in one breath.
"Don't I owe you? Is it because I, Lin Shixing, killed people in my last life and made mistakes, so that I will be reincarnated in your womb and become your daughter in this life?? I really don't ask for a lot, I don't ask for a lot. , I don't want you to treat me like my brother, I just want you to stop pushing me into the fire pit..."
"Mom, do you know what you've been doing all this time? You made me give up my bright future and let me do nothing for the rest of my life. If we say that our family is really difficult and needs money, I won't say anything more. I Immediately drop out of school to make money, if you and my dad have any serious illness that needs money, I will give everything to make money to save you, but is our family like this? Is it there??!"
Lin Shixing's crying is very distressing. She is a very good-looking girl, and she usually pays attention to her image. Before crying, she would hide in the house, under the quilt, and make no sound. After crying, she would wash her face again. , massage the eyes, if someone asks: Are you crying
She would pretend to answer lightly, no, just yawned.
But now, she was crying without regard for her image, as if she wanted to vent all the grievances she had buried in her heart over the years.
"You and my dad just bought a new phone for my brother last month, right? How many has he changed since he started buying phones?? It's broken every time, and it can't be repaired. What about me? I Up to now, there is an old phone that can only be used for making calls and texting. I only gave it to my dad when he doesn’t need it. Every month you pay him living expenses, and he spends 4,000 a month. Sometimes it’s not enough. If you want, I can't use five hundred a month for my stay at the school.
In the second year of junior high school, the teacher asked me to practice writing with fountain pens. Everyone said that the X-series pens are easy to use. I went home and told you that you think that the fountain pen is expensive. The ten-dollar pens are quite expensive for me. , I'm obedient, I don't buy it, but you turned around and bought my brother a 50-dollar basketball just because he said he wanted to play between classes, Mom... Feel your conscience and ask yourself, since then , what did I ask of you? ? "
Lin Shixing's voice trembled, looked at her mother who was shocked by her sudden vent, and sniffed: "I keep telling myself that it's not easy for you, I was born and raised by you, so I have to be considerate of you. , if you don’t give me money, I will earn it myself. If I don’t have enough money, I will save it. I will eat cheap meals and wear cheap clothes. I think this way, you will be able to save snacks and love me, at least with Compared to my brother, I'm pretty sensible, aren't I?"
"But what about you?? Can you see it? From childhood to adulthood!! Only my brother is in your eyes!! Only him!! Where am I? Isn't I the one incidentally every time?? You keep telling me , my family paid so much fines for me, sometimes I really want to tell you that it was you who decided to give birth to me, not my own choice, if there is a choice, I would know you and me before going into your belly Dad doesn’t like me at all, in your eyes, I can’t even compare to my brother’s finger, I only deserve to sacrifice myself, I’d rather never be born than be your daughter!!”
Mother Lin stared blankly at her daughter who had always been well-behaved and quiet in front of her, opened her mouth, and wanted to say something, but she didn't know what to say.
On the other hand, Lin Shiheng, on the other hand, was still not affected much: "Lin Shixing, why are you talking to mom, what are you doing on my head?"
Lin Shixing had never spoken to her parents in this way, and without her mother Lin's lesson, she was already sitting on the bed powerless.
Not scared, just sarcastic.
Ironically, after saying something she would never have said before, she felt a sense of relief in her heart.
Yeah, easy.
Lin Shixing lowered his head and hid his tears.
That's it, in this family, she is simply a superfluous existence, and she is always brought out by her parents to talk about it because she was not cleared at the beginning.
Lin Shiheng and them are family.
If Dad comes back at night and still thinks she should drop out of school, then drop out of school, go out to work to earn money, and move out of her hukou when she turns 18.
She will follow the calculation and calculate the amount of money spent from childhood to adulthood. No matter how hard it is in the future, she will still know everything.
So be it.
There is no need to hold on to hope anymore, to give up this family, to give up being their daughter.
Mother Lin didn't know what Lin Shixing was thinking, she was still in shock, because she never thought that there would be so much injustice in her daughter's heart.
Why are you so angry
Boys and girls are treated differently. Shiheng is the man in the family. Of course, he should be treated well and take good care of him.
Boys spend a lot of money outside, and they still go to college. Isn't it normal to give four or five thousand yuan? Shi Xing went to high school, and he had room and board at the school, so five hundred yuan was not enough to spend.
In the past, when she was working outside, if she could spend five yuan a month, it was a lot of money.
To Lin Shixing, she can completely say that she loves her very much with her conscience.
Like her cousins, cousins, and nieces, who can enjoy such a blessing as Lin Shixing, who is still in school at the age of seventeen, let's see what good food she eats at home, even if Shiheng eats most of it, and the rest Don't the next ones give time stars
And those toys, although they always teach her brother that they can't rob them when they play, can't she still play with them
It's like when she was a child, when she had not yet died of her brother's slingshots and tops, these girls couldn't touch them, and the delicious food at home was not to be eaten. Eat, but also cook on fire, go up the mountain to chop pig grass, and come back to feed the pigs and chickens.
Because I always remembered that I was tired when I was a child, and I didn't have the strength to play. Before Shi Xing entered junior high school, she did all the housework as long as she could, just to make her not as tired as she was when she was a child.
Is that not enough
Is this not enough
Mother Lin was confused and puzzled. She felt that Lin Shixing's anger was really unreasonable, because she thought she was good enough for her daughter and made her happy.
As for letting her drop out of school and get married, isn't that also because the family is rich? Marrying a rich man can save you how much hardship, this is what she really understands, how can this child not understand!
Mother Lin felt that she should take her daughter and teach her well.
She pondered the words in her mind first, "Shixing, listen to me..."
"Hey mom!"
Lin Shiheng interrupted her: "What did you tell her, she just wants to go to the competition, you can let her go."
Mother Lin has always been very obedient to her son, but when she was thinking about grocery shopping and gossip, she heard a few words, "This star has been unspoken, and that star's x photos have been exposed." "The entertainment industry is full of darkness. I can’t get out” and so on, he still said to him: “You child doesn’t understand, let me tell your sister first.”
"What are you talking about, if you don't agree with me today, my sister can slam her head into the wall. She usually looks soft, but she's tougher than anyone else when something happens. You forget when she was a child. Fighting has made Wang Chao's brain full of blood, and Lin Shixing is ruthless."
Lin Shixing, who was crying silently, raised his eyes and glared at his brother.
At that time, it was clear that this guy and Wang Chao had a fight. She went over to fight, but Lin Shixing slapped a bloody head in the head, and when the parents asked, they all shoved her on the head.
She told the truth, but her parents didn't have a letter, and insisted that Lin Shiheng was well-behaved, sensible and obedient and would not fight.
If it wasn't for being pushed by Lin Shiheng to take the blame and her parents' partial treatment from childhood to adulthood, she would not have such a bad relationship with Lin Shiheng, who should be called her brother.
Lin Shixing recalled the past, and the more he thought about it, the more angry he became, but Mother Lin was suddenly stunned.
She licked her dry lips and said dryly: "Shi Xing, it's not that Mom doesn't let you go, those places are not clean, you are a good little girl, what's the point of going there, in case something happens to you? What's up… "
Lin Shixing's eyes were still red. She tried hard to hold back her tears and looked at her mother stubbornly: "What if it's my brother? What if my brother wants to go? You won't let me?"
"Hey, I'm playing games at home so much. Why go there and grab a spot with a group of people, I'm not too busy."
Lin Shixing just pretended he didn't hear Lin Shiheng's words, and still looked at his mother persistently: "Don't lie to me, I can see it, tell me the truth, if Lin Shiheng wants to go, will you let him go?"
Mother Lin murmured for a while, but hesitantly said: "Shi Heng is a boy, and he is so old, he won't be taken advantage of when he goes..."
Lin Shixing's tears came down.
It could be seen that she was covering her mouth to stop her crying, but the pitiful choked cry was still exposed between her fingers. Lin Shixing turned around, lifted the quilt and hid her entire body, including her head.
"You go out, I want to be alone for a while."
Mother Lin glanced at her daughter hesitantly. Facing her daughter who had just accused her a lot, she was afraid that she would commit suicide after being provoked. You have a good rest, and when you wake up, your father is back, and we will tell you better."
Saying that, she squatted down and took the scissors in her hand, looked around again, and determined that there was nothing that could be used to commit suicide, and then pulled Lin Shiheng out the door three times.
Hearing the sound of the door closing, Lin Shixing, who was hiding in the bed, couldn't hold back his crying any longer, sobbing out.
At this moment, she even really wanted to end her life as Lin Shiheng said.
Outside the door, as soon as he walked into the living room, Lin Shiheng let go of his mother's hand: "Mom, you are too old-fashioned, why isn't the place unclean, just sing a song? No wonder Lin Shixing was unhappy, it was me and me. Not happy either."
Mother Lin can be tough with her daughter, but she can't be tough with her son. After all, the mental education she received since childhood was that men are gods. Whether it is a father, husband or son, as long as they are strong, she will be weak.
"You're still young, I don't know, your sister is only seventeen..."
"Yes."
Lin Shiheng interrupted his mother impatiently: "You are only seventeen and you want her to drop out of school to work."
Mother Lin paused, not knowing how to refute for a while, so she could only murmur: "I also went to work when I was a teenager, and so did your aunt. Didn't your dad and I only get together when we were working part-time? ?"
"When you go out to work, your family has no money and no conditions for you to study. Isn't my uncle also studying? What's the age now, does our family lack so much money? Mom didn't tell you, you and my dad have It was really feudal at the time, can you accept something new, then Lin Shixing, a younger sister who dropped out of school at the age of seventeen, what happened to my brother who was still in school at the age of nineteen? Her grades are still so good, look at it , If you do this, the long-tongued women around you may say what our family is going to say behind your back."
After speaking, Lin Shiheng didn't look at his mother who was mumbling to explain, turned around and strode into his room, slamming the door.
Only Mother Lin was left standing blankly in the living room.
Confused and full of confusion, she was not angry with her son, after all, she had long been used to his attitude.
She just didn't understand what she did wrong.
Mother Lin sat on the sofa for a while, and felt uneasy again, so she had to stand up and lie beside the door of the guest room to listen to the movement inside, and then grab a mop and mop the floor.
After going back and forth a few times like this, the words of the daughter and the words of the son are still intertwined in my mind.
Finally, she hesitantly looked up at her daughter's door, turned and went downstairs.
Lin Shixing never slept, although she was a little sleepy because her eyes were swollen from crying, and her spirit was also very tired, but the strange thing was that her brain was always awake.
The things that happened from childhood to adulthood kept scrolling in my mind.
There were those who were bullied by Lin Shixing and their parents to settle down, and there were those who had been wearing the clothes for a year, which were short, tight and uncomfortable, and could only be changed into school uniforms, and there were those who fell while walking when she was a child and were picked up by her parents to coax her.
There are good ones and bad ones, but in the end there are more bad ones.
She quietly opened her eyes in the dark, feeling that the tears had completely dried up.
In the quiet little room, the sound of the door opening was especially noticeable.
Feeling that someone opened the door, Lin Shixing closed his eyes subconsciously.
After a second, Mother Lin's voice sounded: "Shixing, are you asleep?"
Lin Shixing closed his eyes under the quilt and said nothing.
The sound of rustling sounded, and then the quilt covering her head was carefully pulled down. She closed her eyes and couldn't see it. She could only judge by touch and hearing that Mother Lin had tucked her quilt.
Then she stood up and walked towards the door, as if she was going out, and closed the door softly.
I didn't stay in this room for more than two minutes.
Lin Shixing opened his eyes, but found a pen in front of him.
The x series, the one she wanted so much.
In fact, she already has the money to buy them now. The part-time money is enough for her to buy a lot of pens, but because it saves money and is not a necessity, even if she likes it, she has endured not buying it.
Lin Shixing stared at the pen, the eyes that he thought were dry were aching again, and tears were brewing.
She stretched out her hand to get the pen, but stopped a second before touching it.
After a while, Lin Shixing turned around, turned his back to the pen, and closed his eyes.
In an instant, tears fell like rain.