Because of the rain, the mall was extremely busy.
The barbecue buffet was already full and we needed to queue up. But there are only three tables in front, so it doesn’t matter if you wait.
The two took their numbers and sat outside to wait.
People were coming and going, there was a lot of noise, and from time to time there was the sound of machines calling. Sun Ya put her bag on her lap, lowered her head and started looking at her phone.
In fact, it's nothing to see, but it's just to kill time. It's better than just sitting and staring at Ji Huai, which would be very embarrassing.
They don't know when they started to have no desire to share, and even communicated very little. At first, she tried hard to find topics, but gradually she found that Ji Huai didn't care about her affairs, and sometimes he was perfunctory, so she didn't say anything more. .
When the desire to share is gone, there will be fewer and fewer interactions. Without resonance, the relationship will fade away. It will fade away little by little. There will be no longer expectations, and gradually the end will begin.
She had to admit that he didn't love her that much anymore. She could feel his impatience and indifference, this was something she kept reminding herself.
Separation is an inevitable result, it is a matter of time.
Sun Ya's fingers slid boredly on the phone, and suddenly half of an orange appeared in front of her, still exuding the fragrance of orange. She looked up at Ji Huai, who was also looking at her, "Try it, I heard it's very sweet."
She hesitated for a while, and when she was about to reach out to take it, she realized that she hadn't washed her hands, so she hesitated.
He stretched out a wet tissue and said, "Wipe it."
"Thank you." She wiped her hands with a wet tissue before taking it, "Where did you get it?"
"It's lunch today, didn't I say I would save it for you?" He broke off a piece for himself, stuffed it into his mouth, and then nodded repeatedly, "Yes, it's quite sweet. Eat more."
After saying that, he put the remaining half in her hand, took out a tissue and wiped her hands.
Sun Ya looked at the orange in her hand, and the sweetness of the orange could still be heard in her mouth. It was really sweet, without a trace of sourness, and had a great taste. Just as she was about to say something, she was interrupted by the radio.
"No. A51."
"Customer No. A51 is invited to dine in the store. Customer No. A51 is invited to dine in the store..."
Ji Huai looked at the number, stood up and walked forward first. He turned around and saw Sun Ya was about to take out her handbag. He came back to help her carry the bag, put his arm around her shoulders, and led her inside.
Sun Ya snuggled into his arms and ate the orange at a faster pace. Out of habit, she naturally reached out and handed a piece of orange to his mouth. Ji Huai did not open his mouth.
"Don't you want to eat?" she asked, raising her head.
"Aren't we going to save the delicious food for you?" He said casually, then turned the hand on her shoulder and led her further inside.
"Eat." Sun Ya stretched her hand forward again and touched his lips.
It was just a joke she told him, and it was a surprise that he remembered it.
Ji Huai didn't hesitate this time, opened his mouth and gritted his teeth, reached the table, let go of his hand, and sat across from her.
Sun Ya also sat down, looking at his lowered eyebrows, she was a little lost in thought.
In fact, she is not that rational, and she still has the sensibility and indecisiveness of a woman. When Ji Huai behaves nicely to her, she will be shaken.
The two of them were so familiar and loved that if they broke up, even if she made up her mind, she would still be shedding her skin. Just thinking about it would make her feel stuffy, and she would feel really bad. But not being able to love is the normal state of life. She has to save herself. There is still a long way to go.
"What to eat? I'll get it." Ji Huai stood up and prepared to get something.
"Anything is fine, just grab something you can eat quickly. I'm hungry." She stuffed the last orange segment into her mouth and continued what he said.
Ji Huai: "Yeah."
Sun Ya was very hungry just now, but after eating the oranges, she felt less hungry and didn't want to look for something to eat. She doesn't have high requirements for food either. She will eat whatever Ji Huai gives her.
Suddenly, a bowl of fried rice appeared in front of him, and his voice came, "Eat a bowl of fried rice first to satisfy your stomach. Oh, I'll get you a spoon." After saying that, he walked forward without looking back.
After taking the spoon, he came back, handed it to her and left, continuing to get things.
Yogurt, meat, fruits, vegetables…
He put everything on the table, and Sun Ya was still eating the fried rice he brought, with thoughtful eyes.
He gave her oranges and rice, as if he was deliberately trying to please her, but the other party didn't show anything next. He should eat how he should and do what he should do.
If you think about it, he would take care of her like this before, it should be a habit.
Habits are terrible. With just a few small movements, she can remember all the things they did before.
"Why are you so dazed?" Ji Huai asked while eating and adding another plate of mutton rolls to the pot.
Sun Ya took a bite of fried rice and said, "I don't think it's as delicious as the school cafeteria."
When he was at school, he often brought her meals. The best thing about the food for the two of them was that they could eat many different kinds of meals.
They were so clingy at that time, they seemed to have endless things to talk about every day, and they were tired of being together for three years. She felt that they would definitely get married in the future, and it would be him in this life.
Ji Huai nodded, "Indeed, the school cafeteria is cheap and delicious."
"Yes." Sun Ya agreed.
"There is no pressure. I eat, sleep and fall in love every day. Life is comfortable." Ji Huai said, stopped eating, put his hands on the table, looked at her, sighed and said, "Everyone has his own thing."
Sun Ya asked, "What's good now?"
There is not much relationship left between them, and what supports her is the past time, but it can no longer support it now. The pressure to survive in society is so great, how can we get better? She felt terrible.
"Wouldn't it be nice to be able to hold you to sleep every night?" He said with his head lowered, the corners of his mouth turned up, his eyebrows slightly curved, and his tone was relaxed and smiling.
That smile was real and satisfying.
Sun Ya was in a daze. She knew Ji Huai, but she didn't know what kind of psychology he had. At least at this moment, he was sincere and did not realize the crisis between the two of them.
It was as if she was constantly breaking free, but he always felt that the relationship between the two was very good, which made her confused. She didn't know whether her judgment of this relationship was correct.
"What's so good about it?" she muttered.
"Isn't it good?" He looked up at her and asked.
Sun Ya was afraid of ruining the atmosphere of a good meal at this time, so she stretched out her chopsticks to pick up the food, and at the same time replied to him, "It's okay."
It was good at first, but then it got worse and worse.
I used to wish I could hang on to him, but then I really like him and jump towards him with enthusiasm. When we first started living together, we were filled with joy.
Later, why did it happen like this
"Of course that's good." Ji Huai didn't realize anything yet and continued to eat, chatting with her here and there.
There was nothing wrong with the content of the chat. He really didn't seem to react. Sun Ya kept talking a few times, but finally held back and continued on with his topic.
This time the separation means either having emotions and solving the problem, or completely breaking up, so she will be cautious and cautious.
"Shrimp slippery." Ji Huai picked up a piece and put it in her bowl.
Sun Ya: "Thank you."
"There are two more pieces. I'll give you one piece and I'll eat one." He said and put another piece into her bowl. He didn't show any abnormality during the whole process, just like before.
Only he himself knows how restrained he is now. He seems careless, but in fact he is absent-minded. He will observe Sun Ya's emotional changes with his peripheral vision and dare not say anything when he sees her in a daze and deep contemplation.
If you ask, you will definitely tell them to let it go, and the result of saying it will definitely be a breakup.
Although she can waver, she has a clear mind. He didn't have enough reasons to convince her. The questions he threw were like bombs. He had no ability to resist and was speechless.
He also knew that if she was sad, she would have to pull out her bones this time, so she would turn around without hesitation, because no one could afford it, and there was no future, so he was not suitable.
Sun Ya's appetite was not as big as his, and she was full quickly, but Ji Huai ate a little more.
After he finished eating, she stood up and said, "Go back."
"Okay." He stood up and followed her out.
When the two of them arrived at the counter, Ji Huai deliberately walked faster and took out his mobile phone to pay. However, something embarrassing happened. His mobile phone had no balance, and he was stunned for a moment.
He doesn't have more than 300 yuan for food, he hasn't applied for a credit card yet, and he doesn't have the limit to spend twice as much.
Sun Ya didn't say anything. She didn't know when she had scanned the QR code to pay. She showed her phone to the cashier and walked out as if nothing had happened. "Let's go."
Ji Huai silently took back his phone and walked to her side, extremely frustrated.
She seemed to be used to paying his bills. After all, he hadn't made much money this year and spent it all on himself. She paid for all the expenses between the two of them.
"Didn't you say you had no money a long time ago? Have you forgotten?" She said this calmly.
"...forgot." Ji Huai laughed dryly. Only then did he remember that he had complained to her not long ago that he had no money. He could hardly support himself. After paying back double the amount he spent last month, he only had less than a few hundred yuan left.
"My memory is really bad, but it doesn't matter. You often don't remember." She said this in a neither salty nor cold tone, nor did she have any particular emotion.
Ji Huai: "..."
She was too calm, neither noisy nor fussy, and even began to understand him, which made him feel a chill rising from the soles of his feet.
As long as there is room for trouble, start to understand and not force, that is the real end.
The two caught the last bus back and walked side by side into the community.
The rain stopped and the wind became a little cooler. No one said anything and walked slowly towards home.
The night was a bit deep and the surroundings were quiet.
"Ji Huai, I have your express delivery. This is for storage. I have signed for it for you." There is an express supermarket on the first floor. A young man stuck his head out of the window and called Ji Huai.
Sun Ya also stopped.
"What is it?" Ji Huai didn't think much and walked over.
The other party took out the express delivery. The moment he saw it, his expression suddenly changed and he really wanted to slap himself twice.
Young man: "Lianda shoes, which shoe did you buy?"
It looked like shoes at first glance, and he bought them on a famous software. The outer packaging said that shoes of this brand cost thousands of yuan, usually two to three thousand yuan.
Ji Huai didn't dare to look at Sun Ya's face. Taking over the shoes was like taking over a hot potato.
When he entered the elevator, he felt that the atmosphere was very solemn. He didn't know what to do. He was as anxious as an ant on a hot pot, but he had to hold it back.
Sun Ya took the initiative to speak, "Is this the pair you wanted to buy last time? Is it already coded?"
"..." Ji Huai said bravely, "Yeah."
I didn’t have money to pay for food, pay rent, or buy daily necessities. I spent 2,800 on a pair of shoes. He himself feels ashamed now.
"As long as they have the size, those shoes are quite nice." The elevator door opened and Sun Ya walked out first without looking back at him.
Ji Huai wanted to see her angry, even if her mood fluctuated and she questioned him.
He was not angry and understood him very well.
He was frustrated in his heart, and he knew that she was indeed extremely disappointed, because his selfishness was not this time. When he was in college, he said he didn't have money to buy her gifts, but he could recharge games. He didn't have money to take her on a trip during the holidays, but he had money to go out with friends. I didn’t have money to visit her when I was in a different place, but I had money to buy thousands of headphones...