When Ji Huai went to bed, Feng Qiaolan didn't move, her eyes were closed, and she didn't know if she was asleep.
He paused and slowly lay down. He looked at the wooden beams above the room, then glanced sideways at her. He stretched out his hand to pull the thin quilt towards her and gently covered her body.
Feng Qiaolan still didn't respond. Just when Ji Huai thought she was asleep, her red lips parted slightly and a low voice sounded in the silent room, "Do you still want to go to college now?"
Before, he was shouting hysterically and asking with tears streaming down his face. This time, he was asking calmly, as calmly as if he was discussing the weather today with her.
Ji Huai pursed his thin lips tightly and pondered for a moment, but didn't speak out.
Feng Qiaolan added, "I just want to know what's in your heart, your truest thoughts."
Even though she cried and made trouble, he didn't regress in the slightest, and she was tired.
Ji Huai's voice was low, and he was extremely troubled when he said, "We can't stay in this place forever. Even if the child is born, it will be a lifetime of hardship. Only by going out can we have hope, and by going to college can we not endure hardship. I am doing it for our family."
Feng Qiaolan didn't reply. She clenched her fists and tears fell from the corners of her eyes, staining the pillow.
Every time he said these high-sounding words, she knew that his heart was no longer in this family, not in her and her children, but she didn't want to believe it again and again, and wanted to give herself a glimmer of hope.
He doesn't want her and the child now, so where will he be in the future? What's next? I just think she is a burden.
"I thought about it..."
"Let's go." Another tear flowed from the corner of Feng Qiaolan's eyes, and she said again with a wry smile, "I won't stop you anymore, let's go and go to the university you want to go to."
She can't keep the person who wants to leave. It's because she doesn't know people well and her life is bad.
This scene was all too familiar to Ji Huai. In his previous life, he breathed a sigh of relief and told her that he would definitely come back to pick up her and her children so that they could live a good life. She didn't reply. In fact, she had already given up. She also knew that the chance of his coming back was slim, so she just thought that her husband was dead. However, she was injured due to being in a daze during this period, and fell down half a month later, which led to tragedy.
"You can't stop me." Ji Huai told her bluntly, "We have been together for so long, and you know my temper. I have never been willing to live here. As long as I have the chance, I will definitely leave."
Feng Qiaolan took a breath and said with a sad tone, "Yes, I can't stop you, I know."
She knows it all.
"Are you crying again?" Ji Huai sat up and looked at her sleeping.
Feng Qiaolan never opened her eyes: "No, I'm sleepy."
He is tired of seeing her cry now and is becoming more and more impatient, so why should she bother others
Ji Huai frowned: "I won't leave you and the child. If it doesn't work, just come with me."
What he said made her open her eyes, and she looked at him with her red eyes. Then the light in her eyes dimmed again, and her tone was slightly mocking, "Where are you going? I'm going to have a baby soon, and you're going to college." , and I’m not making any money, where should I go with you? It’s better to stay at home and have my parents take care of me.”
Fortunately, she thought he still had a trace of friendship for her. Was he forcing her to give up on her own
If anyone asked, he could say that he never wanted to abandon her, it was her who didn't want to come with her and wanted to stay at home.
Ji Huai raised his hand and scratched his head, looking annoyed.
Neither of them spoke, and the room fell into silence again. Feng Qiaolan continued to close her eyes. The child in her belly was kicking violently. She put her hands on her belly and kept comforting her.
The more she comforted her, the harder the child in her arms kicked. She hadn't slept well in the past few days, her mental state was poor, her head was tingling, and her temples were aching.
Feng Qiaolan kept breaking into cold sweats, her breathing began to become rapid, and she began to have chest tightness and shortness of breath.
Ji Huai noticed something was wrong with her and hurriedly stepped forward and asked anxiously, "What's wrong with you?"
"I... I..." Feng Qiaolan was forced to open her eyes, but she had a severe headache. Her mind was twisted into a ball, as if there were countless flying figures flying around, and her heart was beating so fast, as if it was about to rush out of her chest.
All the strength in her body was drained away, and a fear of imminent death came over her. She grabbed Ji Huai's hand tightly, but the strength became weaker and weaker.
"Lan Lan?" Ji Huai called her twice and hurriedly got up to call Feng's father and Feng's mother.
"Don't..." Feng Qiaolan squeezed out one word, grabbed him hard again, refused to let him go, and shook her head desperately.
She didn't have a stomachache, and she didn't want to trouble her parents and make them worry.
Ji Huai was held back by her and couldn't walk away. His palms were sweaty when he touched her. He frowned and kept asking, "What's wrong with you? Where does it hurt?"
Feng Qiaolan just shook her head and kept breathing heavily. The hand she held on to him gradually gained strength.
He also noticed that the child in her belly was kicking and bulging, and she was biting her lower lip, still making a muffled moan. He reached out and touched it slowly, lowered his head and coaxed, "Be good, stop kicking mommy, and go to bed quickly."
The little baby in his belly also kicked his palm twice, but the movement was much smaller.
After a while, Feng Qiaolan's rapidly beating heart began to calm down, and her mind gradually became clearer. She exhaled heavily, raised her hand in vain, and wiped the cold sweat on her forehead.
"What's wrong with you?" Ji Huai saw that she had recovered, but the heaviness on his face did not disappear.
"Headache." Feng Qiaolan only said this. Her head still hurt, and it hurt like being pecked.
She followed Feng's mother, but her health was not that good. In the past, she would easily lose energy when she got sick. She was also a little malnourished and prone to dizziness, chest tightness and shortness of breath.
I was pregnant with a child and couldn't keep up with my nutrition. In addition, I was in a bad mood some time ago and didn't sleep well all night. I was afraid that my heart was going to have a problem.
"Why does my head still hurt? Does it hurt a lot?" Ji Huai asked.
"It's okay." She lied.
"Where does it hurt?" Ji Huai moved towards her, pressed his slender fingertips on her forehead, and moved his fingers to her temples, "Does it hurt?"
Feng Qiaolan was already in pain, but when he pressed her like this, another tear flowed out of her wet eyes. She originally wanted to pull away his hand, but Ji Huai slowed down, gently massaged her with his middle finger, and said, "Mom Didn’t I bring you a bottle of wind oil last time? I don’t know if you can use it. Forget it, I won’t apply it to you for now, I’ll ask you tomorrow.”
Being rubbed by him really relieved the pain, so Feng Qiaolan didn't stop her.
Ji Huai rubbed it slowly and slowly for a long time. Feng Qiaolan had just cried again and felt weak all over. As soon as he relaxed, he felt like sleeping. His eyelids became heavier and he fell into a light sleep.
"It's too difficult to press. Move over here and sleep on my lap." Ji Huai retracted his hand, reached out to support her head, and moved to his legs.
In that position just now, he had to bend his hands and turn sideways. If he slept on his lap, his head would be lowered and his hands would be very natural.
Feng Qiaolan was about to fall asleep, so she turned around with him in a daze and put her pillow on his lap.
As soon as his hand left her, she felt pain. When his hand came up to cover her, the pain immediately eased, as if it had a psychological effect, and it was up to him.
After a while, she fell asleep again, and his deep voice came to her ears, "How can I feel relieved when you are like this?"
I don't know if it was her delusion or a dream, but she fell asleep and felt that he kissed her and held her as she fell asleep.
In the dream, she cried again.
Ji Huai looked at her sleeping and was still crying. He raised his hand to wipe her tears away, hugged her again, lowered his head and comforted her, "Don't be afraid, I won't leave. I will stay with you this time."
Feng Qiaolan's frown slowly relaxed and she fell asleep.
The next day.
When Feng Qiaolan woke up, there was no one around her. She thought about it for a while while she was asleep. She seemed to have had a dream last night. It was a beautiful dream, but she couldn't remember it. After thinking about it for a while, she couldn't remember it. Clumsy body, getting out of bed and putting on shoes.
Feng Dafeng and Feng's mother went to work early. Now that she can't go to work, Ji Huai is looking for leisure work, so Feng Dafeng and his wife can only work more.
Every time she thought about it, the feeling in her heart was hard to describe.
Breakfast was cooked by Feng's mother. During this period, she had to eat a brown sugar egg every day, and the eggs at home were also given to her.
While Feng Qiaolan was eating, tears flowed down her cheeks, and she wiped them away.
The good times of the past seemed to have passed at this time. She had to be strong and survive with this child without compromising the others. This was what she had to do.
"Crack." There was a sound from the door.
Ji Huai walked in with a straw hat on his head, took a drink from the iron water cup on the side, and asked her, "Are you awake? How are you today?"
Feng Qiaolan: "It's okay, why are you back?"
He took another two gulps of water, "I just went up the mountain to collect firewood and came back. I passed by the door of my house and came back to see you. Aren't you worried?"
"I'm fine." She wasn't moved either, thinking he should have come back to drink water and check on her.
"Have a good rest and be careful when you are alone at home." He couldn't help but warned again.
She was born prematurely because of a fall. He was afraid that something would happen to her again because of this, and he couldn't take precautions because she was the only one at home.
"Yeah." Feng Qiaolan responded casually, stood up with the bowl, and wanted to go outside to wash it. Just as she stepped out of the threshold, her eyes suddenly turned dark. She swayed, quickly grabbed the door frame, and couldn't help but lean back. .
Ji Huai's pupils shrank, dropped the water glass, and rushed over to support her.
Before he came, Feng Qiaolan tried her best to hold back her body and slid down against the door frame. When he came and supported her body, she was still tense and her face turned pale with fear.
"What's going on?" Ji Huai half-carried her to the chair and helped her sit on the chair, with a worried look on his face.
"Dizziness, feet weak." Feng Qiaolan said weakly and extremely scared.
This symptom is becoming more and more obvious, the child is also fussy, feels uncomfortable all over, and still has retching reaction.
Ji Huai sighed, and when she recovered, he suddenly leaned over and hugged her, stood up, and walked into the house, "Go and lie down on the bed first."
Feng Qiaolan didn't struggle either.
He covered her with a quilt and brought her some water, "Drink some."
She held the water glass and drank it in small sips, but she still hadn't recovered yet.
"You are too thin, and you haven't slept well these days. The child needs more and more nutrients, and you can't bear it anymore." Ji Huai sat on the bedside, his face becoming more serious.
Feng Qiaolan didn't refute him, she felt it too.
"You are alone at home, and no one knows if something happens. If I leave, you will have to take care of the children by yourself. Your parents will have to go to work, and I don't know if you will be able to come over." He pursed his lips tightly and pondered indecisively. "Things like this happen one after another, and I'm really worried. If something happens to you or the child, I don't know what to do."
Hearing this, she stopped drinking water and answered immediately, "What should we do? There is nothing we can do. Ji Qiang's wife is in such good health, but she still dies during childbirth. This is all fate."
What's the use of saying this
She was originally afraid, and giving birth would always be a journey through hell.
Ji Huai hunched over and lowered his head, covering his face with his hands, struggling again and again, and after a while he said, "Forget it, I won't leave."