Xia Houlin thought more than once, what does it feel like to die
Like a cold pond sinking into silence, the world returns to a silent eternal night. He is a small mayfly, floating in the heart of the icy waves. Many years ago, the crow feathers generally came to me, the abbot in the Jialan Treasure Hall uttered the low-pitched Great Compassion Mantra, and the faint lonely lamp of Xiaoxiao Zhulin's house. He remembered the countless nights he spent on the mountain. The long night seemed to have no end. There was a slow sound of Brahma coming from Galan, and he fell asleep amidst the faint sound of cymbals.
He has never been afraid of death, which is the life he cannot escape. In the face of fate, all living beings are as humble as dust.
The darkness slowly faded, and a bright light appeared at the end of the peripheral vision. Gradually, there was a sound, the bells were dinging, it was an iron horse swaying in the wind, and then there was a crisp sound like a tea cup shattering on the ground, as if someone was talking in a panic, and he heard the thumping sound of the head hitting the ground.
Is he still alive? Xia Houlin was a little stunned. When he sat up from the bed, his head was still dizzy, his body was weak, and he almost lay back. With trembling hands, he opened the curtain, and a red candle was burning on the celadon plate on the coffee table, and the tears of wax soaked the imprint of a copper coin.
Barefoot, I stepped out of the carved bed and looked out through the window screen. He pushed open the door and walked out, and there was a voice in the end. He walked a short distance and stopped at the door. Shen Jue was sitting on the throne, with melon-petaled agate beads hanging from his wrists, and was staring coldly at the group of imperial doctors kneeling at the bottom. He didn't change his official uniform, and he was wearing makeup, flowers and gold, and it was very dazzling to see through a layer of green smoke.
"Our family asked you if there was a way, but you hesitated and couldn't say a clear word for a long time. The hospital is compared every year, and it is screened at different levels. How did you choose your quack doctors?" Shen Jue was so angry Trembling, "There is a way or there is no way, you can be accurate. This is not the palace. If you have something to say, you don't have to hide it. If your illness is delayed, our family wants you to look good!"
The imperial doctor below was sweating on his forehead. He was pulled from the bed by Dongchang Fanzi twice, and he was still in shock when he met Shen Jue's monstrous anger. The one who was in the first plucked up the courage and said in a low voice, "Young minister is bold, so let's talk to the factory minister. In fact, when I looked back, I already felt that the disease was not good, but the factory minister was upset, I couldn't wait. Dare to say it clearly. Later, the factory minister gave the prescription, and it seems to be better after taking it. I thought that I really got a life-saving panacea, so I was relieved. Now it seems that this medicine has limited efficacy and cannot be cured. "
Shen Jue's smile became colder and colder, "You guys are very good, how dare you lie to our family."
Several imperial physicians looked at each other, trembling and afraid to speak. Shen Jue hated them for being timid as mice, but couldn't blame them any more, and said bitterly, "Keep talking!"
"Yes, yes." The leader said, "The lingering flower is a rare flower in Miao Jiang, and it is too partial. If Fang Cunzhen is still there, maybe he can come up with a cure. Although he has poor personal morals, he is in Miao. I have been immersed in Xinjiang for several years, and I have dealt with many barefoot doctors in Miao Village, and I am most familiar with these flowers and plants. I wait... Although I waited for auscultation in the imperial front, my knowledge of exotic flowers and plants is really not as good as these arena warlocks Besides, Sir Xiao Shen's pharmacology has changed, and I don't even know what the herbal tea your Lord was taking in the first place.
Shen Jue's heart froze bit by bit. Fang Cunzhen had already been killed by him. Did he kill Xia Houlin's last chance? He said in a daze: "It turns out that after talking for a long time, there is no way."
The imperial physician did not dare to speak, and his body bowed even lower. Shen Jue looked at the black gauze hat below, and slowly lowered her body, resting her elbows on her knees and supporting her forehead in pain, the cold beads pressed against her face, her heart pierced.
"Let's all go out." Shen Jue's voice was hoarse, almost inaudible.
As if receiving amnesty, everyone walked back on their knees. Xia Houlin hid behind Baozhu, watching them file out, trotting out of the yard.
Shen Jue looked at his shadow on the ground, a long black and thin strip, with a sense of being alone. Is it really helpless? His heart felt like someone was pinching him tightly, and it hurt so badly. He was originally on duty at the house, thinking of the flowers he sent in the past, and looking forward to receiving Xia Houlin's letter tomorrow morning. That guy is a jerk and doesn't know what to write to him. He was full of anticipation, and Bianhong didn't even feel tired. The war in Liaodong was very tight, and he was too busy to go home to see him. He was also busy and didn't have time to come to the palace. Shen Jue felt melancholy again in her heart, she finally arrived in a city, finally met, finally opened her heart and finally got together, but she still had to be separated by a palace city and could not meet.
But who would know the next moment Shen Wenxing hurried in and told him that Xia Houlin had fallen again. He broke the palace ban and left the palace, and when he returned home, he saw him lying on the bed with his eyes closed, the raised quilt like a solitary grave.
How did that happen? he thinks. It was fine before, so why did he lie down again when he was alive and kicking? Is it retribution? He has done too many sins, the Buddha wanted to punish him, and made a big joke for him, and let him kill Xia Houlin's vitality with his own hands. He took out the letter that Xia Houlin wrote to him, stroke by stroke, unexpectedly beautiful. He still remembered Xia Houlin's words when he was a child, it was crooked, like a dog crawling. Later, when he looked at the official document written by that guy, it didn't change much. Xia Houlin probably didn't write much during his years in Jialan.
He stroked the word, "I miss you so much, when will you return home?" How wonderful, he also thought of him.
The candle flame danced in the peripheral light, and his eyes were hot, as if they were burned by the fire. He blew out the fire, and the room was suddenly dark. He held Xia Houlin's letter in one hand and covered his face in the other, crying in the darkness.
The door suddenly opened, and a tall shadow walked in. He hurriedly wiped his tears, Xia Houlin closed the door, walked over to him and sat down.
Shen Jue tried his best to calm down and said, "Are you awake? How do you feel now? Is your body still refreshed?"
Xia Houlin didn't answer, he stretched out his hand and pulled him into his arms, rubbing against his soft hair, "Young master, don't cry, my mother said, just hug when you're sad. I'll hug you, don't cry. ."
His voice rang in his ears, and for some reason, Shen Jue's tears couldn't stop for a while, soaking the front of Xia Houlin's shirt. He didn't want to cry in front of Xia Houlin, he took a deep breath and calmed his voice with difficulty, "I didn't cry."
Xia Houlin smiled and hugged him tighter, "Young master, I know every time you cry."
Shen Jue said stubbornly, "I didn't cry."
Xia Houlin counted with his fingers, "When you were apprentice, your dead ghost father didn't recognize you, and you cried when you came out. And Mrs. Xiao wronged you for being indecent and you were punished by your father to kneel in the ancestral hall, you also I'm crying." He wiped the tears from Shen Jue's face with his sleeve, and smiled, "I know you have a good face, but I just didn't expose you. Don't worry, I'll keep this secret for you, and I won't tell anyone the seal of the dignified superintendent of ceremonies. "Shen Jue, the director of the East Factory, is hiding here and crying."
Shen Jue finally came over, raised his eyes to look at him, he couldn't see clearly in the dark, but he could feel his focused gaze. Shen Jue bowed his head and shook his hand, and said bitterly, "You are obviously sick, but I want you to comfort me."
"Who made me love my daughter-in-law?" Xia Hou smiled.
It was dark in the room, Xia Houluo pulled him out and sat under the porch, the two of them looked at the moon side by side. The moonlight on the ground is like a pool of water, and the sparse tree shadows ripple in it, like spreading water plants. The clapper was knocked outside, and the tuk-tuk slowly disappeared. It was already the third watch, and at the fifth watch, Shen Jue should go to court.
Xia Houlin asked him if he wanted to sleep for a while, Shen Jue shook his head and asked, "A-Long, why do you think happiness is only for a moment, but pain lasts forever?"
why? Heavenly God has his own thoughts, and Xia Houlin can't answer. He looked down at his toes, "Master, don't be too sad. When my mother died, I felt like the sky was falling, and I was like a walking corpse. Later, I sent my master and the old bald donkey away with my own hands. , My brother doesn't know if he is still alive, but looking at my situation, if he also drank the old bald donkey's medicinal tea, he might not be far away from death."
Shen Jue looked at his profile, his expression was neither sad nor bitter, just light. Shen Jue suddenly felt flustered and said, "A-Lian, I won't let you die. Just stay home and recuperate, wait for me, okay?"
Xia Houlin stretched out his hand and touched the cold moonlight, "Master, I have sent many people away in my life, those I have never met, those who are deeply entangled, those I love, those who love me, one by one, I watch them all go away. Now. , it's finally my turn." He turned his head to look at Shen Jue and smiled slightly, "I've always wondered why God wanted to keep me here, I should have died in Jialan five years ago. Now I understand young master, God loves me, he wants me to meet you again. I am really, really satisfied, because I have obtained the greatest happiness in my life. "
"It's not enough, A Lin," Shen Jue said with tears in her nose, "it's not enough, it's not enough, we still have to stay together, listen, I've already sent someone to contact the Nanyang pirates, and we'll have our own soon. Treasure ship. Let's go when you're well. As long as the two of us are together, we can go anywhere."
"Master," Xia Houlin wiped the tears from the corners of his eyes, "don't be so stubborn..."
Shen Jue held his hand tightly, her throat choked, and she was speechless.
"Silly young master, don't you understand?" Xia Houli raised his face and looked at the quiet moon.
The night wind blew, and the branches and leaves squeaked, like a bird flapping its wings. Shen Jue saw the wordless silence on Xia Houlin, like a knife in its sheath, the edge of the knife fully restrained.
He whispered: "The person who should go always has to go. You can't keep it, and you don't have to."