Cai Baiwen and Cheng Ying fell in love when they were young.
It's the kind of very innocent campus love, they treat each other very cautiously and cautiously, they never even hold hands, but when their relationship is broken by their parents, what awaits them is round after round of mental torture .
"What are you taking me to!" Cheng Ying broke free from the male teacher's hand in horror, but was hugged by her mother in the next second.
"Cheng Ying, Cheng Ying, you are obedient, just do a simple check..." Mother Cheng said while crying, her hands trembling slightly. At that time, medicine and education were underdeveloped, and it coincided with the arrival of AIDS in China, which caused a lot of panic. There is a popular saying in society that more than 90% of gay men will get AIDS.
The doctor in the white coat looked at Cheng Ying's beautiful face with a subtle look, and his tone was cold and frivolous, "Has he touched under you?"
Cheng Ying's blood surged, and she said angrily, "What are you talking about! Keep your mouth clean! I have nothing with him!"
The doctor laughed, "It's useless to be fierce. You'd better explain it honestly, otherwise it will be yourself who will suffer. Boys of your age are most likely to do impulsive things.
There was a commotion in the clinic.
Horrible, disgusting, unbelievable.
Cheng Yian looked at the faces of her parents, teachers, and these people, and suddenly felt extremely strange. He was afraid. He wanted to escape from this place, but under the control of several adults, he forcibly completed the inspection.
A few days later, Cheng's family came home with the medical report, and finally put down a big stone in their hearts.
As soon as she got home, a slap hit Cheng Ying in the face unexpectedly.
"Kneel down!" Father Cheng said solemnly.
Cheng Ying did not kneel, with a clear slap print on her face, her eyes humiliating and stubborn.
"Kneel down!" Father Cheng walked to the back and kicked Cheng Ying's knee socket, finally breaking his pretentious arrogance.
"Do you know right?"
"I am right!"
"You're right! You like men! You go to the street and ask casually, who doesn't like girls? Are you sick? Well, you don't admit your mistake, right?" The rattan slapped Cheng Ying fiercely, "I want you to be tough! I want you to be tough!"
Cheng Ying endured it silently, without saying a word.
Mother Cheng couldn't stand it anymore, she pulled Father Cheng away, and said warmly: "Cheng Ying, you should admit your mistake to your father. Whoever did not make mistakes when they were young, as long as you are willing to correct them, you are still a good son of your parents."
Cheng Ying sneered, "Isn't my brother the only good son of my parents?"
Cheng's father was furious: "Are you still talking back! I think you are not convinced! If I don't call you obedient today, I won't be named Cheng!"
All the audience at the scene held their breath.
They saw the slightly twitching muscles on Cheng Ying's face and the bulging cheeks. Everyone knew that Cheng Ying was on the verge of breaking out. They were more worried about Zhou Yuhe than about the chaotic movie scene that followed. .
When dealing with this kind of rage, most young actors will overdo it, either screaming, staring or smashing things, losing control of their entire body, so as to express their extreme anger.
Although I knew Zhou Yuhe's acting skills were good, he was too young after all, and it was such an extreme humiliation scene that even the people watching it couldn't help being angry, let alone himself
Don't pass, don't pass...
On the other side, after looking at Cheng's father like this, Cheng Ying on the screen quickly turned her eyes away, her voice trembling with anger, and the trembling was mixed with the characters' depression, unwillingness and jealousy.
"Isn't that so?"
The audience was overjoyed, he was in control!
Cheng Ying said: "Since I was a child, you asked me to target my brother. I would do whatever he did. He became the squad leader, and I would also run for squad leader. English class; he was admitted to Fudan University, I will go to Zhejiang University, and if I can't attend the culture class, I will be forced to take an art exam to learn the piano... In your hearts, I am an accessory of my brother!"
"You are talking nonsense!" Father Cheng was so angry that he was speechless.
"Did I say it wrong? Didn't you and my mother give birth to me to donate bone marrow to my brother..." Cheng Ying's eyes were full of tears, and the complex emotions in her eyes hit everyone present. Heart, heart throbbing.
Father Cheng was shocked for a moment, then glared at Mother Cheng, "Did you tell him?"
Mother Cheng's eyes flickered.
Father Cheng opened his mouth and said dryly, "We didn't change your bone marrow in the end..."
"That's because it's the right fit. What if I don't? What would I be like now! You've always only seen brother, have you considered me?! I'm a living person, I'm not a container!" Cheng Ying cried. , tears slipped from the eye sockets to the pale jaw, which was pitiful.
Mother Cheng's eyes filled with tears. She hugged Cheng Ying and said regretfully, "No, not a good boy. You are also the heart of Mom and Dad..."
Father Cheng sat tremblingly in the chair and let out a long sigh, as if he had aged a lot in an instant, "You're right, even if your mother and I gave birth to you to treat your brother, we still have a match. I spent hundreds of thousands of people using other people's bone marrow, and I don't want to touch you. Ask yourself, your mother, me, and your brother have treated you badly except for being a little harsher over the years. Compared with your brother, you Is it a piece of clothing missing, or a meal missing?"
"If that's the case, you still can't forgive me, then my old man is here today for this family..." Father Cheng said, getting up and going to kneel in Cheng Ying's direction.
"dad!"
"Old Cheng!"
Both mother and son stepped forward to help Father Cheng at the same time.
Cheng's father held the back of Cheng Ying's hand tightly, tears flashing in his turbid pupils, "I beg you, I beg you, Cheng Ying, you can't be with your classmate..."
"Why?" Cheng Ying asked again, "Why? My brother has been admitted to Fudan University, and you already have him..."
Why... I can't live for myself once
"Because your brother... can't have children! If you don't get married, our Cheng family will be doomed!"
Cheng Ying's body was shocked, she let go of her hands and sat down, so shocked that she forgot to shed tears, "I don't believe it..."
Mother Cheng couldn't bear to say, "what your dad said is true."
Cheng Ying: "You lied to me!"
"You also know that your brother has been in bad health since he was a child. We have never said that your two children are still young. We are afraid that you will find out and hurt your brother's self-esteem. Cheng Ying, mother promises you that if you don't want to go to college, then we will If you stop reading, you don’t want to learn the piano, then your parents will let you learn whatever you want to learn. That’s it, your parents are begging you, you must get married…”
Mother Cheng's cry reverberated in the air. Cheng Ying's eardrums seemed to be separated by a glass wall, and there was a buzzing sound in her head.
Turn around.
But even half the advice is not clear.
Since then, Cheng Ying's attitude towards Cai Baiwen has changed drastically. They are in the same school, but they don't even greet him when they meet. Although Cai Baiwen was in pain, he could only respect Cheng Ying's choice. He thought that as long as he watched from a distance, he would be satisfied even if they were not together. Who knows, Cheng Ying will transfer schools soon...
Cai Baiwen took Cheng Ya's physical education class and pulled him behind the library, blocking the way.
Cheng Ying was shocked: "What are you doing?"
Cai Baiwen smiled coldly, "How long are you going to hide from me?"
Cheng Ying's eyes dodged, "I didn't hide from you."
Cai Baiwen: "Didn't hide from me? If you don't even read the book, is this called no hiding?"
Cheng Ying was speechless.
Cai Baiwen watched his beloved boy lose weight in just a few days, his anger suddenly muted, and an indescribable sadness filled the small space.
Heartbroken, cold.
Cai Baiwen was heartbroken and turned to leave, "Don't transfer, it's me who should leave."
Cheng Ying quickly grabbed him, "Don't be impulsive."
Cai Baiwen stared at him and said firmly: "You are worried about me, Cheng Ying. Are you still lying to yourself? You still have me in your heart."
What if there were still you
Cheng Ying's face turned even paler.
The face of the young man who looked like a hibiscus in clear water was almost transparent, and his eyes dipped in the spring water contained a deep sadness that could not be melted away, but it added a touch of brilliance.
Cheng Ying's obviously hesitant expression made Cai Baiwen's heart skip a beat.
Boys of this age always have some impulsive and unrealistic ideas. The love at that time is often like a tsunami that can wash everything away.
He held Cheng Ying's hand.
The boy who was not afraid of the sky seemed to have exhausted all his courage before he said in a hoarse voice, "Otherwise, let's go, Cheng Ying."
Cheng Ying was stunned for a moment, and said in surprise, "What did you say?"
He quickly took his hand out of Cai Baiwen's hand.
Cai Baiwen did not let him succeed.
He licked his dry lips, and after saying the most difficult words, the rest of the thoughts poured out naturally, "If you don't say leave, you will never come back. We can live in other provinces for a few years first, and we can spend a few years in other provinces. After this period of time. They are just overreacting now, and after a long time, let parents know that we are not fooling around, they will slowly accept us, and then we will come back."
Cheng Ying was obviously persuaded. He looked at Cai Baiwen's sincere face, and his eyes revealed struggle and entanglement.
"Or are you afraid that you will endure hardship with me?"
"Of course I'm not afraid!" Cheng Yan quickly denied, "It's just..."
It's just that there are things in my family that you don't know.
He didn't say it.
He knew what Cai Baiwen was like, and if he was told about the situation in his family, he would never embarrass him. But he's just afraid that he won't embarrass him, and then the two of them... that's all.
reluctant.
He was really reluctant.
Just when Cheng Ying was tangled, there was a sudden sound of footsteps outside, Cai Baiwen saw that someone was coming this way, and seeing the two of them together, he didn't know what rumors would come out, so he hurriedly said: "I won't force it. You, think carefully about it today, I will wait for you at Tianhong at eight o'clock tomorrow evening, see you soon." Tianhong is the bus station with the largest flow of people in their city.
Immediately afterwards, a warm and thick hug wrapped Cheng Ying tightly.
Cai Baiwen hugged him hard, then hurriedly left before others came.
Cheng Ying looked at the young man's back and fell into contemplation.
The wind of early spring is wrapped in the restlessness and innocent vows of adolescence, blowing into someone's heart one by one.
On the way back, Cai Baiwen's heart was still pounding. He felt like a hero, as if he had accomplished the greatest thing in his life.
Cai Baiwen has a prominent family background. His grandfather's generation had a red background. His father had an extraordinary influence in the city's officialdom. rise.
It can be said that he has never suffered any setbacks since he was a child.
No one dared to look at him, and no one dared to make him "frustrated."
Even if the affair with Cheng Ying was exposed, it wasn't a big deal in his heart. At most, he gave his father and grandfather a beating. He was rough-skinned and didn't take it to heart at all.
However, Young Master Cai, who was born to be the proud son of heaven.
It was soon to try the true taste of setbacks.
Cheng Ying didn't come.
At the agreed time and place, he blew the cold wind all night, imagining the life of the two of them in the future, with a smirk, his hands and feet were shivering from the cold, and he stood until dawn, and Cheng Yan did not Come.
Its daybreak.
The sun shone warmly on Cai Baiwen's body, and his body finally stopped shaking.
The heart was extremely cold.
And the blow of love is just the beginning.
Soon, Cai's father was scolded in the official circle. The uncles and uncles who were attentive and enthusiastic seemed to have changed overnight, and they all distanced themselves from Cai's father.
Cai Baiwen withstood the unprecedented pressure to take the college entrance examination, but in the end he had to face the situation that his family could not pay for college tuition.
Love, family background, schoolwork... Master Cai, the proud son of the sky, all the auras on his body were ruthlessly taken away by reality and turned into Cai Baiwen who had nothing.
Sometimes he even envied the cowardly Cheng Ying.
As long as you escape, as long as you step back, life can always go on.
But he couldn't go back.
Speaking of hate, he didn't hate Cheng Ying either.
Look at what he looks like now, without the background of the Cai family, without money, and without education, it is so difficult for him to live with dignity.
Maybe Cheng Ying's choice was the right one.
this is the truth.
Cai Baiwen, who failed in the college entrance examination, went out to start a business with the little money left at home. But it seems that all the luck has been used up in the first ten years, and the loss is all lost, and the last bit of ambition has also been sharpened.
In fact, it is very normal for young people to fail in entrepreneurship. Cai Baiwen's ability is not bad, but only luck.
But he was tired.
Not everyone can afford to fail for a long time, especially for Cai Baiwen, who has been living very easily, consecutive failures are often more fatal to him.
Finally, he gave up those unrealistic expectations, borrowed 5,000 yuan from his uncle, and opened a small shop near his home—
He confessed.
Accept that he is not a hero, but an ordinary person's fate.
On the other hand, there are rumors about Cheng Ying that are occasionally heard.
With the escort of his father and brother, his life was going smoothly.
I got into a good unit, found a good wife, and a few years later gave birth to a big fat boy.
Cai Baiwen sometimes thinks that if he runs into him on the street one day, he should see a high-spirited Cheng Yi.
Until that day Cheng Ying walked into his canteen—
That kind of vicissitudes, that kind of mediocrity, that kind of annoying cringe to please, and no matter how much you cover it up, you are slightly up and down when you walk, a look of inferiority that is inconvenient for your legs and feet.
Is this the person who amazed him throughout his youth
The funny thing is that Cheng Ying became so inconspicuous, and he still recognized him at a glance.
What's even more ridiculous is that Cheng Ying, who is inconspicuous but at least has a happy family, actually fell in love with him again.
Perhaps it was an unfinished obsession when he was young. At least Cai Baiwen believed that there was nothing in him that could attract Cheng Yian.
However, he did not reject Cheng Ying.
I don't know what kind of mentality it is out of, maybe it's a numb and peaceful life that needs to be adjusted, or maybe he also has a trace of resentment and resentment for that imperfect relationship... In short, Cai Baiwen didn't reject him.
But Cheng Ying seemed to be getting deeper and deeper.
The time he stayed with him became longer and longer, and he gradually began to react violently to his wife's questioning. Although Cai Baiwen felt sorry, he couldn't terminate the relationship.
Because this is what Cheng Ying owes him.
He thought that this shameful relationship with Cheng Ying would last until he couldn't stand it anymore, but he didn't expect that it was Cheng Ying who couldn't stand it first.
An intense rainy night. After the rain and the rain, Cheng Yian lay flat on the bed, staring at the dark night outside the window in a daze.
Cai Baiwen kissed the top of his hair, his hoarse voice sounded extra sexy in the dark, "What are you looking at?"
"Shh, don't make a sound." Cheng Ying's eyes were bright, with an indescribable temperament. He turned his head and looked at the dark clouds diagonally above with a sincere expression.
Cai Baiwen had to wait with him.
After waiting for a while, the moon came out from behind the dark clouds, which seemed to be a signal. The young man who had hesitated for a long time seemed to have finally made up his mind. He turned his head and said to Cai Baiwen, "Let's go."
Cai Baiwen was taken aback, "Where are you going?"
Cheng Yian twitched the corner of her mouth and showed a pale smile, "It's fine to go anywhere, shall we leave here, Bai Wen? Only... when I'm with you, I feel happy." Only then did I feel like I was living like a personal.
It was obviously a face that was no longer young, but Cai Baiwen recalled the innocent and immature Cheng Yi under the cherry tree that year.
Although he is no longer young and impulsive, Cheng Ying like this...
He still couldn't refuse.
He never seemed to be able to reject this man.
Just go.
It was already midnight when the two arrived at the station. When buying the ticket, Cheng Yian realized that she did not have her ID card, so she told Cai Baiwen that she would go back and get her ID card.
He wants him to have to wait for him.
After speaking, he turned around and walked away quickly, because he walked too fast, and he usually covered it up very well. The limping walking posture was exposed again, which made him look a bit funny.
like a joke.
Cai Baiwen opened his mouth, and a bad premonition came to his mind.
In the end he didn't say anything.
Just silently watching his back disappear into the darkness.
Then, it was dawn.
Fifteen years ago, Cai Baiwen did not wait for Cheng Ying in front of the station.
Fifteen years later, still not.
It was said that he was the one who went together, and he was the one who did not come in the end.
Honestly.
It's like looking at the capricious life.
He has been numb.
But the only thing he didn't expect was.
This time, Cheng Ying did not wait at the station.
Can't wait any longer.
********************
The ending of the story is that two months after Cheng Ying's death, the policeman Rong Jiafu, who runs through the whole film, came to Cai Baiwen's canteen.
He took him to a nearby northern dumpling restaurant.
Cai Baiwen was sitting across from him. He was in his early thirties, with dark complexion, numb eyes, no brilliance, a very ordinary and boring person.
"Mr. Police, do you have anything to do with me?" Cai Baiwen asked.
"Yes, about Cheng Ying."
"Well, you say." Cai Baiwen said, his eyes unconsciously glanced at the clock in the store, as if he was listening to some unimportant story, and he would go back to guard the store immediately after listening.
Looking at him like this, Rong Jiafu remembered that Cai Baiwen had been too calm and cold-blooded during the whole process of handling the case.
So I couldn't help but resist what I was going to say next.
Rong Jiafu touched his pocket.
Finally decided to tell him the truth.
He took out two old yellowed photos from his pocket and pushed them towards Cai Baiwen.
The source of the photo is no longer known, and the content on the photo is also vague. It can only be vaguely seen that there are two stations with the word "Tianhong" vaguely on them.
Cai Baiwen lowered his eyes.
When he saw these two photos, he was stunned for a moment.
As if afraid, he didn't pick up the two photos from the table to examine them, he just looked at them like that.
There was already a vague feeling of unease and unease in my heart about what was going to happen next.
"You should know that Cheng Ying has always had bad legs, right?"
"… I know."
"Then do you want to know why?"
Cai Baiwen suddenly looked up at Rong Jiafu, and there was an indescribable fear in the depths of his pupils.
The truth he was afraid to hear was completely different from what he had always thought.
Rong Jiafu's voice was very calm, with a sympathetic sadness, "The two stations are called 'Tianhong'. One is an old station that was repaired before liberation, but it didn't open to traffic very much in 1982, and the other was repaired in 1983. new station.”
"You and Cheng Ying are two people, one lives in the south of the city and the other in the north. Your father was in charge of the new station project, so you didn't pay attention. You were the first group of citizens who knew that the new station was open to traffic. But Cheng Ying didn't know. , the old station is right behind his house, just turn three streets away."
"He waited for you at the old station that night, but you didn't come. At dawn, his father brought a group of neighbors and dragged him home, but he refused. He cried and said he would wait for you, In the end his dad gave him a leg discount before taking him home."
"... Cheng Ying didn't betray you, never."
Every time Rong Jiafu said a word, Cai Baiwen's heart seemed to be hit by a hammer.
In the end, even breathing was painful.
It's not that Cheng Ying didn't come fifteen years ago.
He didn't come...
The corners of Cai Baiwen's mouth gradually twitched, and the mask on his face, which was used to resist the turmoil of life, slowly began to crack.
Then, bang. shatter.
He touched the two photos with trembling hands, his face gradually distorted, as if he wanted to cry, but also as if he wanted to laugh.
Cheng Ying's face slowly emerged in front of Cai Baiwen's eyes through these two old station photos.
It seems that in the two photos, Cheng Ying is standing under the stop sign waiting for him with the same smile.
The life of this coward Cheng Ying.
Only got up the courage twice.
all because of you.
Cai Baiwen.
The sixty-seventh day after Cheng Ying's death.
Cai Baiwen, who never shed a single tear, finally burst into tears.
The author has something to say: The truth of the story.
Are you worried, sisters
I, King Pippi, have been pierced by thousands of arrows qaq
Because I was not born in that era, there must be some ill-considered points. I have tried my best to do my homework. If there is any mistake, please forgive me. The all-purpose overhead stalk will be launched again.