This secret was told to me by Fu Wei when he was in high school. His family was rich and his ancestors were all businessmen. Although his father was not a rich man who could be ranked in Forbes, he also ran one or two medium-sized enterprises with good profits. Strictly speaking, he is still a rich second generation.
Fu Wei's father never lacked women, and it was the norm to spend the day and drink, and Fu Wei's mother also knew that she always regarded him very seriously. Father Fu was not too bothered, and came up with a wicked way to ask his son to cover himself. Said to take his son out to play, but in fact he left his son in the downtown area, he went to meet his little love, and later gave Fu Wei a rich reward in money and material.
Since junior high school, the father and son have worked closely together, and Fu Wei has gotten used to it for so many years. He also thinks this way of earning pocket money is very good, convenient and fast.
At that time, I was shocked. I thought that every family has a book that is difficult to read, and every family has something abnormal in every family. Looking at it this way, the trivial facts of my parents are not enough to see.
Now that I think about it, I should have known at that time that he was also a wonderful person.
Fu Wei told me this because we were good friends at that time, he trusted me, and we always shared some little secrets between teenagers.
I never thought about going public with these little secrets of his, not even when we fell out and the school was flooded with gossip about me.
In such a hurry to deal with Wei, saying such words, even I was surprised.
"I'll let you go, don't talk nonsense, and don't come to me in the future, okay?" I let go of the hand on Fu Wei's face, but still clenched his collar tightly.
Fu Wei was in shock, the top of his head was pitch black, and he didn't look like he knew me anymore.
What's so weird about this? The dog jumps over the wall when he is anxious, and the rabbit bites when he is anxious. Does he think I will endure him for the rest of my life
I didn't resist, I just felt it was unnecessary. If someone hates me because I'm gay, hate it. I don't really want their likes either.
"agreed."
Fu Wei stared at me blankly, swallowed, and repeated my words: "...Okay."
He's good-looking and smart, but he's not very good at sports, and he's never fought. He told me that fighting was too vulgar and not in his temperament.
I don't know what his temperament is, but if he bothers me again, I really don't mind performing this vulgar sport with him.
"Whatever you say, or I'll really be rude to you." I let go of Fu Wei's shirt and stepped aside.
Fu Wei gave me a complicated look, then went to Yankong Mountain, and then ran away along the path in front of the door with a little shame and unwillingness.
Looking at his disappearing back, I slowly let out the breath I held in my chest.
"I don't see how powerful you are." Yan Kongshan put out the half-smoking cigarette and walked towards me, "I drove the bad guy away."
I picked up the key from the ground, turned around and continued unlocking.
"I didn't hit him." Just nudged him.
Yankongshan seemed to chuckle, and when he spoke again, his voice was already close at hand, as if it was close to my ear.
"Yu Mian, are you still mad at me?"
I shook my hand, and suddenly it wouldn't unlock.
What does he mean by this? Are you trying to make peace with me
In fact, I haven't been angry with him for a long time these days, but I just don't know how to end this state. He asked now, and it was fine.
I turned the key randomly and opened the courtyard door. I was about to say that I was no longer angry, but Yankongshan seemed to have misunderstood my silence and grabbed my wrist from behind.
"sorry."
I looked back in amazement, he looked at me, and said again seriously: "I was in a bad tone that day, I'm sorry."
He was so sincere, it made me very embarrassed.
Grandpa is right, even if you have a good relationship, you should pay attention to the methods and methods of persuading people, and you must also consider the other party. You can't always impose your own ideas on others, it's too selfish.
"No, I...I have something wrong too."
There was no words for a while, only the soft sound of the wind blowing through the leaves and the chirping of the trees. I don't know if it was Uncle Zhang's house or which family's dog suddenly barked, and a bicycle rang not far away.
I could feel his eyes wandering across my hair, cheeks, and neck, and the delicate tracing made my ears burn.
The wrist where he was holding it seemed to be on fire.
It always felt like he had turned yellow again, but the two were so close that it would be strange to suddenly look up at the top of his head, so I had to look elsewhere.
"that…"
Yankongshan let go of my hand and said softly, "Go to bed early at night."
He turned to leave, I bit my lip, and my actions seemed to be driven by an invisible force, becoming an "impulsive" marionette.
Before his hand could fall completely, I grabbed it with my backhand, trembling faintly from nervousness.
"Wait!" Even though he didn't do any strenuous exercise, his breathing became inexplicably fast.
How to do? What should we do
The brain wailed, but the body seemed to have its own plans.
"I have something to tell you."
Without giving Yankongshan a chance to refuse, I forcibly dragged him into the yard, and then closed the door.
The gate blocked all light from the outside, and the yard was dark, and only the outlines of objects could be seen. There was originally a sensor light under the eaves, but today, for some reason, it didn't turn on.
I let go of Yankongshan's hand and pressed my back against the gate to make sure he wouldn't run away before I finished what I wanted to say.
It stands to reason that the other party is not such a person, but I am still prepared.
"Yu Mian?" Yan Kongshan probably didn't expect this kind of development, and there was a hint of hesitation in his words.
"I said your name that night, didn't I?"
This sentence has no beginning or end, and it is easy for people to get confused, but I know he must understand.
On the day I got drunk, on the day I pestered him to confess, I would definitely, and only possibly, say his name. I did not admit the wrong person, nor can I admit the wrong person. The so-called "admitting the wrong person" is just a self-confessed "handling" of the matter.
Yankongshan didn't say anything for a long time. If he was just a furnace that melts people, now he is an iceberg that refuses people thousands of miles, trying to use silence to make me retreat.
I will not go back.
"Do you want to know what Fu Wei said just now?" I stopped Fu Wei from saying it, not because of fear, but because of this matter. I like Yankong Mountain. He shouldn't know it from other people's mouths. He can only know from me.
I don't know if tonight is a good time to tell him, but sometimes it's like that—long preparations are better than the occasional flash of inspiration.
Success is success, failure is failure. As for confession, there is no possibility of accepting you despite not liking you but appreciating your carefully arranged confession scene.
"I have a social account, and he knows from it that I am in Qingmeiyu, in the bookstore, and here. I often share my daily life and mood on it, so he knows that I have fallen in love with someone recently..."
"Yumian."
He suddenly interrupted me, calling my name, no longer the affinity of the past, is a reminder, but also a warning.
I just paused briefly, but didn't stop.
"The person I like is nine years older than me, runs a bookstore, has a cute little daughter, and has always been heterosexual." I looked up at him, "I like you, Yankongshan."
Yan Kongshan didn't say anything after hearing the words, just sighed a long time, the guillotine with silk hanging above his head still fell helplessly and melancholy. At the same time, I indirectly applied for my guess - he really knew that I liked him.
"Yu Mian, you are too... young."
Maybe he wanted to call me "little" again, but when he came to the end, he remembered that I didn't like to hear this word, so he changed it.
But it didn't get any better.
Hearing his remarks again, he was more frustrated and disappointed than dissatisfied.
This is more desperate than calling me "naive". After all, I can still try to mature when I am naive, but young... I can't increase my age for no reason. I will grow up to be the same age as him within a year.
"You still can't tell which ones you really like, and which ones are the passers-by in your life." Yan Kongshan said, "I told you, I don't believe in love, and I don't need love. I don't deserve you. like."
I'm a little sad, not because of his rejection, but because of what he said, as if he didn't even like me anymore.
"You don't have to like me. I'm telling you this, and I'm not telling you to accept me. I just want you to know... It's okay, you don't like me, I always know. But like this kind of thing, I can't control it myself, so I will always like you." I thought about it and set a ridiculous deadline, "I like it until the day I don't like you."
"...This is your freedom, and I have no right to interfere." Yankongshan said.
This is a confession that is doomed to fail.
Turning yellow and pink, what I think in my heart, it seems that there is no certainty in love.
Compared with those who have been rejected by him, he has been very gentle to me, and he has not let me stay away from him, I have no regrets.
I got out of the way and opened the door for him. The light from the outside came in, and the mood on the top of Yankong Mountain was a little low. My confession seemed to make him very sad.
He was walking outside and was about to step out the door when I thought of something and stopped him again.
"That...if you hang up the wind chimes again, can I come and pick them up?"
I just thought, since he doesn't like me and he's a normal man, it's impossible not to sleep with people all his life to take care of my mood.
Since it is a matter of time, I have to make plans early, ask clearly, and see if I can participate.
Yankongshan stiffened for a moment, frowned and turned back to look at me, showing the same expression as Fu Wei. One, seems to have never recognized my expression.
"Can you say that again?"
His expression was really confused, and he really felt that he might have heard it wrong just now.