Lin Qingle knew for a long time that Xu Tingbai's mother was in prison, but she felt that Yan Dairong only said those words to anger Xu Tingbai.
One reason was that Yan Dairong was like a madman and spoke without thinking that day, and the other was that Xu Tingbai did not mention this matter later, so it seemed that there was nothing wrong.
She believed that Yan Dairong was talking nonsense, but she still felt inexplicably uneasy.
"Yan Dairong is a psychopath. I'll tell you what, she's just good at pretending."
On Wednesday afternoon, Lin Qingle and the other two came back from the school cafeteria after lunch. Yu Tingting said, "Qingle, don't worry. I will tell all the classmates about the fact that Yan Dairong was the culprit on the Internet. A vicious woman! She's the school beauty. What a joke."
Lin Qingle was absent-minded: "No one may believe me even if I tell them, so there is no need."
"Why doesn't anyone believe it? If anyone doesn't believe it, I'll tell them to ask Yu Jiayou." Yu Tingting said, "Yu Jiayou won't lie. Then everyone will believe it."
Lin Qingle: "He's her cousin."
"What's wrong, cousin? You are still the one Yu Jiayou likes." Yu Tingting nudged her with her elbow, "Don't worry, I will support you~"
Lin Qingle: "...Don't talk nonsense."
Yu Tingting: "Didn't you hear Yan Dairong say that the other day? Well, when I think about it, Yu Jiayou seems to be a little special to you, right Shuyi?"
Jiang Shuyi was stunned for a moment: "Ah...right."
"Sure enough, being good-looking is still useful. Even male gods—" Before she could finish her words, she saw Yu Jiayou walking towards her from the opposite side. She quickly stopped talking and gently pushed Lin Qingle.
The "gentle push" position is the prelude to watching the two people's ambiguity...
However, Lin Qingle couldn't tell that Yu Jiayou liked her. He was obviously very kind and friendly to other people, not just her.
"Have you all finished eating?" Yu Jiayou stopped in front of the three people.
Yu Tingting: "Yes, yes, I'm done eating. How about you?"
"I have eaten."
Yu Tingting: "Then let's go back to the classroom together."
"Wait..." Yu Jiayou glanced at Lin Qingle, feeling a little uncomfortable, "Qingle, I have something to tell you."
Yu Tingting's eyes sparkled with gossip. After hearing this, she very tactfully pulled Jiang Shuyi along, "We understand! We understand! Then we'll go first. Qingle, we'll wait for you in the classroom."
Lin Qingle: “Hello—”
Yu Tingting and Jiang Shuyi walked very fast.
Lin Qingle looked at the two men's backs with a frown on his face.
"What's wrong? What do you want to say?" Lin Qingle adjusted his mood and asked.
Yu Jiayou: "I apologize to you on Dai Rong's behalf."
Lin Qingle: "This is none of your business..."
"But she is my sister after all. She has been spoiled by my uncle's family since she was a child. Sometimes when she gets angry, no one can stop her. That day in the restaurant... I'm sorry."
Lin Qingle: "She shouldn't have apologized to me in the restaurant. She should have said it to Xu Tingbai."
"I see."
"Don't worry, this has nothing to do with you. You don't have to be like this."
"Um… "
Seeing that he had nothing to say, Lin Qingle asked tentatively: "Then...if there is nothing else, let's go back to the classroom?"
"etc."
Lin Qingle raised his eyes to look at him.
Yu Jiayou hesitated for two seconds, but still said: "That day in the restaurant, Dai Rong said I like you-"
"I know she misunderstood!" Lin Qingle said hastily, "I didn't take it seriously, don't worry."
Lin Qingle's expression was very quick, and his attitude was clear at a glance.
Yu Jiayou's heart sank, and he said in a muffled voice: "What if it's true?"
Lin Qingle suddenly froze.
And Yu Jiayou knew from her expression that she didn't want to be true, and she... didn't like him either.
"You like Xu Tingbai, right?"
"… "
How did it jump to this point? Lin Qingle was suddenly embarrassed.
It was the first time that a boy asked her such a question about love. She had no experience and felt shy. But even so, she did not shake her head.
She knew clearly in her heart whether she liked Xu Tingbai or not, and she didn't want to shake her head.
Yu Jiayou looked at her ears that suddenly turned red, and his throat felt dry: "I understand."
In fact, he always knew the answer.
—
Yu Jiayou's test made Lin Qingle feel a little uncomfortable. She had never thought that he would like her.
After returning to the classroom, Yu Tingting and Jiang Shuyi asked them indirectly what they had said outside. Lin Qingle felt that this was not something worth publicizing for Yu Jiayou, so he only mentioned the first half of the apology.
She never mentioned her later love again.
It was early May, close to her birthday.
Lin Qingle hasn't celebrated her birthday in recent years. Basically, Lin Yufen would cook her a bowl of longevity noodles on her birthday, and the matter would be over.
But this year, she thought about it.
She still remembered the vanilla cake that Xu Tingbai had knocked over. She thought that it was such a pity last time, so she should make up for it this time. And because of her busy schoolwork recently, she had not been able to find time to visit Xu Tingbai, so she wanted to take advantage of her birthday to go see him.
Her birthday happened to be on Saturday, and after eating longevity noodles at home, Lin Qingle went out on the pretext of hanging out with friends. Because it was her birthday, Lin Yufen rarely stopped her and even gave her 200 yuan to treat her friends to a meal.
Lin Qingle was very happy. He took two hundred yuan to buy a vanilla cake and walked all the way to Xu Tingbai's house.
When she reached the bottom of the building, she walked upstairs carrying the vanilla cake. When she turned the corner on the second floor, a middle-aged man came down from the opposite direction. Because she walked a little fast, she almost bumped into him.
"Sorry!" She took a step back protecting the cake.
The man looked at her, said nothing, and went downstairs again.
After the footsteps faded away, Lin Qingle looked back. The smell of alcohol was so strong... Moreover, it seemed that he had never seen this person here before.
But this thought only flashed through his mind. Lin Qingle didn't think too much about it and continued to go upstairs.
Arriving at Xu Tingbai's house, Lin Qingle took the key hidden outside and opened the door.
At this time, the sun had gradually set, and the dim light shone in from outside the balcony, covering the ground with a layer of light halo.
The room was bright, so when Lin Qingle walked in, he could clearly see Xu Tingbai's position.
He was on the balcony, currently sitting on the old wooden ladder in the right corner.
The wooden ladder wasn't very high, but since the balcony railing wasn't high either, sitting on it looked too dangerous. It seemed like someone could just flip over it and jump over it.
Moreover, the wind on the balcony was quite strong. He was sitting half empty, and his shirt was blown by the wind, fluttering backwards. The silence... made her feel uneasy.
Lin Qingle frowned, put the cake aside and walked away.
"What else do you want to say? Since she's dead, you can also die. There's no need to live such a tiring life."
Xu Tingbai "looked" over. In the dusk, his face seemed to be covered with a layer of light, and his eyes looked even more lifeless under that light. His pale pupils were like a pool of stagnant water, terrifyingly quiet.
Lin Qingle didn't know who he thought she was, but when she heard him say this, she stopped abruptly.
She's dead? Who is he talking about
"Xu Tingbai?"
When Xu Tingbai heard her voice, he was obviously stunned: "It's you."
Lin Qingle: "Who do you think I am?"
Xu Tingbai pursed his lips: "He just left, I thought he came back again."
"He...your father?"
"Um."
Only then did Lin Qingle realize that the person he bumped into when going upstairs just now might be Xu Tingbai's father.
She came here so many times, but it seemed that she never met him. She heard from Xu Tingbai that he came back during the Chinese New Year, but left very soon.
Lin Qingle: "What did you mean by that just now?"
Xu Tingbai: "I'm not telling you, you... don't be afraid."
Lin Qingle shook his head hastily: "No, I'm not scared, I'm asking who died?"
Xu Tingbai was silent for a while, and finally spoke: "My mother, Yan Dairong was not joking. I also confirmed it with him. He said it was true, but he just didn't tell me."
Xu Tingbai tried his best to speak calmly, but Lin Qingle still heard a hint of trembling in his words.
"Xu Tingbai..."
"I have been waiting for her." Xu Tingbai was a little dazed. "I made myself hold on... I thought that one day she would come back. But she still chose to give up. She couldn't hold on anymore. She gave up on the future and gave up on me... She gave up on me."
He spoke softly, but she heard every word.
Lin Qingle suddenly felt extremely glad that she came to see him today, because she had an illusion that with her mother's death, Xu Tingbai might have lost the motivation to persevere.
The railing on his side was very low, so it would be easy for him to choose another path.
"No!" Every cell in Lin Qingle's body tensed up when the thought of death surged into her mind. She took a few steps forward and grabbed the corner of his clothes without hesitation, "Don't give up. I'm still here. I'm here!"
The corner of Xu Ting's white clothes was pulled suddenly, and his whole body leaned towards her. He turned his head slightly, heard the girl's rapid breathing, and also smelled the faint scent of the girl, the jasmine scent that he was always familiar with.
"Lin Qingle, what are you doing..."
“Don’t, don’t jump!” Lin Qingle stared at him closely, shaking uncontrollably. “Today is my birthday, don’t jump! If others don’t care about you, there’s still me. I’ll take care of you! I bought a cake, and I want you to celebrate my birthday, and I want you to see me make a wish! Don’t die!”
Lin Qingle was so flustered that her words were illogical. Xu Tingbai was stunned for a moment, and after knowing what she was thinking, he patted her head helplessly: "Are you afraid that your birthday will be my death anniversary in the future?"
Lin Qingle: "...Don't talk nonsense."
Xu Tingbai laughed: "Silly, what are you thinking, I'm not that cruel to you."
Lin Qingle: “Ah?”
"I'm not going to jump off the building."
"real?"
"real."
"Then what are you doing sitting here?!"
Xu Tingbai listened to the whistling sound in his ears: "The wind is blowing."
"But you scared me to death!"
Xu Tingbai lowered his voice and apologized: "I'm sorry."
Lin Qingle glared at him, still holding on to his shirt and refusing to let go, "Then come down, and let's go inside, okay?"
There was a slight cry in her voice. She was really scared by him. Xu Tingbai sighed lightly and softened her heart. "Okay."
But who knew that the flag that had kept him going in the first place would fall. The moment he sat on the balcony, he did think about ending all the pain in the simplest way.
But when that thought came to his mind, he hesitated.
Because he thought of her.
It was then that he realized that he had another reason to stay, and it was hard for him to bear to leave like this.
—
Lin Qingle took out the cake. She sat on the chair and looked at Xu Tingbai nervously.
"Your mother's matter..."
"He's dealt with it." Xu Tingbai said calmly, "Do you want to light a candle?"
Lin Qingle: "If you are sad, don't bear it."
Xu Tingbai was silent. In fact, from the moment Yan Dairong said it, he vaguely knew it was true. In the past few days, he had collapsed and despaired. At this moment, he didn't know how to react.
In the end, he only told himself that it was her relief.
"My mother has always been very concerned about her reputation, and she is very unwilling to live a life of luxury," said Xu Tingbai. "It was because she was too strong-willed and wanted to compare herself that she ended up on a path of no return. After the company went bankrupt, the bank and creditors kept coming to her, and she and my father had to hide from them in a panic. She couldn't stand it and almost collapsed."
This was the first time Xu Tingbai talked about the past. Lin Qingle fell silent and didn't dare to say a word.
"Later, we were in a car accident while trying to avoid someone. My father and I were seriously injured, but my mother was better off. So we used our limited money to pay for our surgery. The money was not enough... But by then, no one dared to lend us money, and no one wanted to pay attention to us."
"But, don't you have any other relatives?" Lin Qingle couldn't help but ask.
"My father was originally alone, and my mother cut ties with the family in order to marry him. In the early years, I remember that my mother had a younger sister who secretly contacted our family. My aunt was very nice to me, but my mother had a bad temper and eventually fell out with her. Later I heard that my aunt and her family had immigrated abroad... We have not been in touch since we are so far away, and we will not receive any news from each other."
"No wonder..."
"But it was my parents' own fault. After they were in the hospital for a while, the court ruled that the company had illegally gained a large amount of profits. My mom was the legal representative of the company, and she was the one who was in charge of the money involved, so she was sent to prison. My dad is very smart. He knew to leave a way out for himself in this kind of situation..."
Xu Tingbai spoke calmly and understood what was right and wrong.
But Lin Qingle knew that no matter what, as a child, he felt only pain and despair about the family changes and his mother's departure.
Xu Tingbai: "I lay in bed for a long time after the car accident... Later, because he had no money to continue, my father took me out of the hospital. I think it was a huge burden for him to have someone like me, so he began to resent and hate me. His world was turned upside down. He was burdened by debt and laughed at by others. He couldn't turn over. And I and the past became his hell."
"Xu Tingbai, this is not your fault. How could he transfer all his resentment and hatred to you? You are injured and blind because of them!" Lin Qingle was so angry when he heard this, "How could he do this! How could he give up on you! You haven't taken your eyes to a better and more powerful hospital for treatment, and he didn't try to take you to see a doctor!"
"Lin Qingle, maybe it won't get better..."
"How do you know if you don't try? If you don't want to try, how do you know it won't work?" Lin Qingle grabbed his wrist, "I won't give up."
Xu Tingbai felt a burning sensation in his heart, and all his emotions seemed to be concentrated at a certain point in an instant, unable to be vented... She was the only person in this world who had not given up on him yet.
Xu Tingbai smiled silently, but his eyes were red: "Okay, let's stop talking. Isn't it your birthday today? Light the candles and make a wish."
Seeing that he stopped talking about those things, Lin Qingle had no choice but to calm down.
She responded muffledly and took out the candles and lighter she had prepared.
She lit only one and placed it in the middle.
Xu Tingbai: "Are you ready?"
Lin Qingle: “Yeah.”
"Then make a wish."
"Oh." Lin Qingle looked at the faint firelight, put his hands together, and said devoutly without thinking: "I hope Xu Tingbai can see me."
Xu Tingbai was startled: "Think of one about yourself. You have two wishes for your birthday. Don't tell me the other one, or it won't work."
"No, no more."
"… What?"
"This is my only wish." Lin Qingle repeated seriously to the candle, "I want Xu Tingbai to be able to see me."
I hope that if I focus on one point, God will not waver and will be able to hear me more clearly.
The author has something to say: It would be bad if God had a phobia of making choices!