Why did Ferd come to Evan? It didn't bother Evan for a long time. Early the next morning, Ferd came to Derain Church again, and this time Evan was not even able to change. In the priest's robe, he could only stare at the slightly gasping Fold in amazement.
And Ford was not feeling well at this time. He didn't dare to look directly into Evan's eyes.
Evan felt a little surprised. He had fought with Ferd several times, but he had never seen Ferd like this.
"Do you have anything to do with me, Mr. Ferd?" Evan opened the topic first.
Ferd pursed his lips, looking a little embarrassed: "I... I heard."
"Have you heard?" Evan's heart moved slightly, but he looked at Ferd with some doubts on the surface: "What did you hear?"
Fuld coughed a few times, looking even more embarrassed than before: "It's... It's my father's business." He was a little vague, looking more embarrassed than before.
Evan only made a sudden realization at this time, and then his expression became embarrassed.
"That thing, I really..." Although Evan also imagined the situation after Ferd knew about it, he didn't know what to say at this time.
"Please don't say any more." Ferd suddenly interrupted Evan's speech, with a hint of shame on his face: "I don't know about my father's search for you, the matter between the two of us. It wasn't because of this that it became what it is now, it's just that I want to ask you whether those rumors were spread by you at that time!"
At that time, Evan refused to attack Ferde, although he did not say it himself, but it was actually very deep. The reason why he hated Evan, although on the one hand, had the hatred that his life was destroyed, but also had the simple He was unwilling to suffer a huge blow to his relationship. Now he suddenly knew that it was his father who planned it. His original deep love and hatred were at a loss for a while. At this time, he could only grasp this point and let himself do the last struggle.
Evan looked at Ferd and felt relieved. He couldn't help but sighed: "Mr. Ferd, please tell me first, how did you know about this?"
When Ford heard him ask, there was a trace of pain in his expression, he clenched his fists tightly, and whispered: "Do you think that as long as you don't say anything, I won't know? Do you think you are like this? Concealing everything like a saint? Bruce, you shouldn't lie about this matter, and you don't need to ask me how I found out about it, you just need to tell me the truth back then!"
Ferd suffered a huge blow from the duke before, and it was like regrouping, but he didn't expect to find the secretary of his father when he was looking for evidence. All the past events rushed to him like a tide, and he could hardly imagine how his father, who was known for his ruthlessness and strictness, dealt with Evan when he was still a child.
Evan looked at the slightly excited Ferd, a little helpless for a while, and his tone was gentle: "Mr. Ferd, the reason why I keep silent on this matter is just to respect a deceased, yours My father made me make a promise never to speak. I don't want to break this promise, but now that you know everything, I will tell you frankly and honestly that your reputation was damaged back then. For this matter, I blame myself, it was I who made wrong friends and caused you to suffer such harm, if you want to hate it, then you can hate me, it's all my fault."
Every word Evan said made Ford's fists clench even tighter, until at the end, he looked at Evan with red eyes and almost roared: "What do you want to say about this matter? Is that all there is to it?"
Evan lowered his eyes, with a trace of pity in his expression: "Your pain has made me uneasy for the rest of my life, that's why I devote myself to religion, I hope the Lord can resolve the remorse in my heart, but after so many years, I still feel very sorry for you. I'm sorry, Mr. Ferd, I'm really, really sorry. I don't know how to resolve my sins, and I don't know how to make amends for you. I don't even have the face to ask for your forgiveness. This has been painful for my entire life and I can't face it."
Evan's words were genuine, and the sadness and pain in his tone almost made the gods cry, but Ferd's expression became more and more bad.
"Is this what you want to say?" The same question as before, but this sentence is more like being squeezed out of the jaws, but with a ferocity.
Evan raised his head to look at Ferd with some doubts, his eyes were red, and there was a hint of madness and unwillingness in his eyes.
"Mr. Ferd?" Evan felt something wrong.
"I ask you, do you really have nothing else to say?" Ferd stared at Evan, as if he wanted to see something from him.
Evan felt more and more strange. What this Ferd wanted to do seemed to be a little different from what he expected.
"I... I have nothing to say... " Evan's tone was a little uneasy.
Ferd looked at Evan, looked at his calm eyes, looked at his puzzled expression, but the breath that was originally held in his chest suddenly fell. He really didn't know what he was expecting.
Ferd closed his eyes in despair. Over the years, he seemed to have become an obsession with this person. He always appeared in the deepest part of his dreams and became his lifelong nightmare. From the beginning, his love changed. For the last hatred, this feeling of devoting all of my body and mind seems to have become an emotion that I can't get rid of in my life, and even become a part of him.
But suddenly one day, when a person suddenly appeared and told himself that the love and hatred in those days was just a script tailored by others for him, and even the reason for his deepest hatred was not with him. It doesn't matter, although he took this matter to himself, he is not an unreasonable person. The old secretary of his father told him the reason his father investigated back then, which was exactly the same as what Evan said. It's not his fault, but his own credulity.
Fuld loosened his clenched fist and let out a long breath. When he looked at Evan, his eyes had recovered.
"I'm sorry for what I've done these days." Ferd looked at Evan with a cold face, all his emotions were hidden in his deep eyes.
Let this matter end completely, all those love and hate, those pains and struggles, all end!
Evan breathed a sigh of relief when he saw Ferd who had regained his composure. This person's mood was really uncertain.
"You don't have to be sorry." Evan's expression was still gentle: "This is all my fault, and I will spend my life repenting."
Ferd nodded indifferently, didn't say more, turned around and was about to leave, but when he reached the door, he suddenly stopped, turned his back to Evan and said, "I'll leave Delanley tomorrow. Er, I won't bother you again."
Without waiting for Evan's response, he quickly left the church.
Looking at Fuld's back, Evan was a little speechless for a while, Fuld is really difficult to understand.
**
Ferd crossed the field paths in the countryside and watched the rising sun in the distance. For some reason, he felt a little empty in his heart. Since he knew the truth yesterday, he has been eager to see Evan. He doesn't know that he What is he looking forward to, but it is definitely not a polite and cold dialogue like today.
It was also at this time that he suddenly discovered that he was the only one who could never get out of the love and hatred of the year, and he was the only one who still stubbornly remembered the love, hatred and hatred of the year, and how they looked when they first met. , remember the way he looked when he called his name, remember the exaggerated expression on his face when he confessed to him, remember the pain in his heart when he left, those ignorance when he was young, like a painted oil painting, Make your once boring and dry life so fresh.
He was not a likable character at that time, but there was such a person who always followed him, maybe because of habit, maybe because of loneliness, he let that person into his life for the first time, but the result But it was so tragic, so tragic that he felt trembling all over when he thought about it now, but after so many years, he reminisced about that period of life over and over again, holding those love, hatred and hatred tightly in the palm of his hand.
What he likes, what he hates, what he suffers, what happiness is, all belong to him.
His love, his past, his life.
Ferd stopped, raised his head and looked at the clouds in the sky, squinting his eyes, such a strong emotion almost emptied his whole being, and now there is only endless emptiness left, maybe he will find someone in the future. A girl who is not very beautiful but very gentle, it is also good to have children with her and live some ordinary life.
The dazzling sunlight made Ferd unable to help squinting. It seemed that a cold liquid slipped from his eyes. It was raining. Ferd thought so, it was really strange, how could it rain suddenly? Ferd wiped off the liquid from the corner of his eyes as if nothing had happened, and walked quickly in his direction.
All people have to go forward, he can't go back.
**
And Evan's mood at this time was relaxed and comfortable. For him, Ferd was an untimely bomb. At this time, the bomb was finally removed from his life. He finally didn't have to worry, and finally didn't have to be upset. .
Evan stood in front of the altar, looking at the crucifix aloft, his expression was compassionate and gentle, as if it was not him but the world who suffered, and suddenly a memory suddenly came out of his mind, all with Foer. German related.
When he was young, Ferde was gloomy and mean, and his unhandsome face always had a mocking smile on his face, but it was such a Ferde, who was so tall and reliable in his memory. When he laughed, the corners of his mouth would turn A pear vortex is exposed. When he frowns, the end of his brow droops slightly. When he is angry, his fingertips tremble slightly. When he calls his name, the end sound is lingering and soft.
Different from the dry and vague reading memory before, the memory at this time was like a real and clear dream. He looked at him and Ferd when they were young through Evan's eyes.
Evan's headache seemed to burst, he knelt on the ground, and his hands were tightly grasping the front.
Suddenly a drop of cold liquid fell on the back of his hand.
Evan looked a little surprised at the drop of water on the back of his hand.
It was a tear.
Tears that belong to 'Evan'.