It was too late, Li Shu said that he wanted to sleep in Shen Yiyou's room.
He looked very sleepy, and told Shen Yiyou that he was leaving early the next morning and would never stay for long, promising that he would do nothing.
Shen Yiyou agreed to him,
Before that, after a long silence, Shen Yiyou tentatively talked with Li Shu.
Shen Yiyou had a headache, he got up and took a bottle of water to drink.
Li Shu sat by the bed, looked at Shen Yiyou quietly but stubbornly, unwilling to relax for a moment.
Shen Yiyou drank the water, did not go back, leaned against the door and looked at Li Shu, and asked the question he had been thinking: "Did you really happen to be here?"
Li Shu answered "yes" without hesitation.
Shen Yiyou dispelled his doubts and nodded. Shen Yiyou's eyes were a little sore, and he was still seeing things through a layer of fog. He and Li Shu looked at each other, their emotions were relatively calm, but they were still full of thoughts.
Li Shu's sitting posture was honest, polite, and restrained. It didn't look like he was pressing Shen Yi just now to talk about not wanting to wear a condom, but he didn't look like he planned to leave at all.
"Can I sleep here tonight?" He asked Shen Yiyou for the first time.
"I want to talk to you," Shen Yiyou said to Li Shu without answering Li Shu's question, "but I'm afraid you won't understand what I'm saying."
Li Shu stared at Shen Yiyou, his eyes and sitting posture changed slightly, for a few seconds, he showed a little aggressiveness during the negotiation, but quickly put away most of it.
"Tell me," Li Shu replied briefly, "I understand."
"You can't interrupt me." Shen Yiyou added.
Li Shu nodded slightly slowly, without resistance: "Okay."
Shen Yiyou thought for a while, not knowing where to start, so he asked Li Shu: "Do you think we are happy together?"
Li Shu said yes without hesitation.
Shen Yiyou told him: "But sometimes I feel unhappy."
"I want to live a more ordinary life with you," Shen Yiyou couldn't continue, even though he drank water, his throat was still dry.
The glass water bottle in his hand was a little cold, so he put the water bottle back on the cabinet, trying hard to think of an explanation that Li Shu could understand: "Because I'm different from you, I'm just a very, very ordinary person."
Li Shu moved, but didn't speak.
The way he looked at Shen Yiyou made Shen Yiyou feel uncomfortable, so Shen Yiyou looked away, lowered his eyes, and continued: "You don't want to see my friends, I have no objection. I know you don't have a common language with them, and you don't want to force it You... But I hope you don't always interfere with me. "
Li Shu moved again, looking very eager to make a statement, but held back in good faith.
"You don't have to say nothing." Shen Yiyou looked at Li Shu's constant movement because he couldn't speak, and felt it was funny, but at the same time felt a little sad.
He asked Li Shu, "Have you never thought about what we will do in the future?"
"Can you define what to do in the future?" Li Shu thought for a while and answered cautiously.
Shen Yiyou thought that Li Shu would give him such an answer, so he didn't feel unhappy, and of course he didn't feel happy either. He felt that he might have smiled at Li Shu, but it wasn't a very happy smile.
"I thought about it before." Shen Yiyou didn't directly answer Li Shu's question, but admitted to Li Shu, "I thought about it a lot. But what I thought about was what you would think was stupid and inefficient, and you didn't even like it. Then I didn’t dare to think about it.”
After a short period of silence, Li Shu said, "For example?"
Shen Yiyou thought for a while and said, "For example, like your parents, form a real family."
"I have always wanted a home of my own," Shen Yiyou told Li Shu, "Because my parents have a bad relationship, I want that kind of nice home."
Li Shu gave an "um", probably indicating that he was listening.
"But I dare not ask you for it," Shen Yiyou continued, "You always think my ideas are useless. But I am a very useless person. I may never be a useful person. Come on You will be fired after working in your company for three days.”
"I know I'm not good enough," he said, "but you're making me feel worse. I don't want that."
Shen Yiyou couldn't explain in detail what he wanted from Li Shu.
He just felt that being with Li Shu was more depressing than pleasant, but he didn't know what to do to make their relationship healthier.
That's why he chose to back down and run away when his emotions broke down, and until now, Shen Yiyou didn't think too clearly about how he and Li Shu could continue if they didn't break up.
After a while, Shen Yiyou said to Li Shu, "Let's separate for a while."
"Can I object?" Li Shu asked.
There was almost no expression on his face, and his tone of voice was steady.
Shen Yiyou thought that Li Shu was indeed much more rational than himself, he would never cry like Shen Yiyou, never lost his temper, always calm, like a higher-level human being.
"No," Shen Yiyou answered Li Shu's question, and then explained, "Because I want to think more clearly, but seeing you all the time will make me unable to think calmly."
"Why?" Li Shu seemed puzzled, frowned slightly, and looked at Shen Yiyou, as if what Shen Yiyou said was a super difficult problem at the end of the test paper, and he was wondering why someone would put such a question in this ordinary on the test paper.
"Just say you don't understand at all." Shen Yiyou said helplessly.
Li Shu raised his face and looked at Shen Yiyou, as if he was a little upset because Shen Yiyou said he didn't understand, and needed Shen Yiyou to coax him immediately.
"You explain directly." He said with a straight face.
Shen Yiyou hesitated a little, but still obeyed his heart, approached Li Shu, leaned over and kissed Li Shu's face, and said softly, "Because I like you very much."
Li Shu agreed to Shen Yiyou's conditions, and they would not meet each other until Li Shu's listing was over, but he demanded that Shen Yiyou had to answer his messages and answer the phone. Shen Yiyou thought that Li Shu didn't like Telecom very much, so he agreed.
And Shen Yiyou also took a step back, at least allowing Li Shu to sleep with him today, because anyway, when Li Shu made a request face to face, Shen Yiyou would always soften in the end.
Li Shu seemed to be satisfied easily, he happily hugged Shen Yiyou from behind, buried his head on Shen Yiyou's neck, hugged him tightly, as if he was very carefree and slept deeply.
At 5:30 in the morning, Li Shu's alarm clock rang, and he tiptoed out of bed. After washing and dressing, he found that Shen Yiyou had also sat up, sitting on the bed and rubbing his eyes to look at him.
In the dim room with no lights on, Li Shu and Shen Yiyou hugged each other.
Shen Yiyou was wearing a nightgown, and Li Shu's hands pressed against Shen Yiyou's warm back through the soft silk.
Then Li Shu carried the luggage bag, went downstairs, and walked out of the hotel gate.
It was a cloudy day, with no sunshine at six o'clock and no sunshine at twelve o'clock.
The hot wind blew from an unknown angle, rolling the vague pain that belonged to the dawn to Li Shu's side. His tiredness was inevitably exposed to the air, but he still didn't feel sleepy. Li Shu's thinking was far behind the speed of time, repeatedly staying on the cheek kiss Shen Yiyou gave him last night.
The driver opened the door for him, and Erin Felton, the co-pilot, lowered the window to say good morning to him. Li Shu got in the car, turned on the computer calmly, and began to familiarize himself with the upcoming road show.
Li Shu didn't open any of Shen Yiyou's videos and photos to watch, he focused on his work.
As they approached the airport, Erin gave him a small box.
Li Shu took it and opened it, and saw the red embroidered thread purse that Shen Yiyou had not taken away that he had been working on for a long time.
The satin surface was repaired with Li Shu's handmade patterns. After referring to some pictures on the Internet, he spent a lot of time making ridiculous embroidery in the modeling software. Li Shu adjusted the curvature of each embroidery thread many times.
Li Shu tugged on the string of the purse, he really wanted to know if Shen Yiyou touched it.
Did Shen Yiyou check it out carefully, what did he think of Li Shu's doing, did he ever think that it would be better to keep the purse, or did he not touch it again after confirming that it was wrong.
The appearance of the purse prevented Li Shu from working, so he gave up continuing, and retrieved from the computer the flight records of his three-year relationship, as well as the ones sent to him by Shen Yiyou when he came to find him, and every detail he recorded in the memo. Flight number.
He checked the evidence of his love affair with Shen Yiyou, checked these very safe data memories that could not be erased with will.
In the past three years, Li Shu has made more than 600 long-distance and short-distance flights, and stayed in an apartment in S City for about 60 nights.
Shen Yiyou came to him five times and stayed in San Francisco for a total of forty-three days.
Li Shu knew more about Shen Yiyou than Shen Yiyou thought. He knew Shen Yiyou's graduation school and knew at least three of Shen Yiyou's alumni.
Knowing that Shen Yiyou's parents live about eight kilometers away from the hotel where they stayed last night; knowing that Shen Yiyou doesn't like the capital; knowing that Shen Yiyou hates being alone, his ineffective social interaction is a way of self-protection (Li Shu thinks can replace them, unfortunately Shen Yiyou doesn't want him to do this).
Knowing that Shen Yiyou often makes very random choices, he regards it as a kind of adventure, and knows that he should be grateful for it, because Li Shu himself is the most willful and reckless of Shen Yiyou's adventures.
The car slowly passed the viaduct in the early morning, the sky was getting brighter, but the driving lights were still dazzlingly white. Li Shu leaned back in his chair, looking at the various vehicles walking forward with them.
The Elevated Second Ring Road in the capital is like a perpetual motion machine movement, and the traffic flow is endlessly rushing in 24 hours and 24 hours.
Li Shu suddenly found that he couldn't remember how he lived before he met Shen Yiyou, he only remembered the world where Shen Yiyou existed.
Accompanied by the jazz music played in the car, Li Shu began to recall the first time they got along.
At that time, Shen Yiyou was happy and made no secret of it, smiling every day.
In the first week of their relationship, Shen Yiyou took Li Shu to eat at a particularly unpalatable restaurant, and Li Shu saw the thinnest Valrhona oysters he had ever seen in his life.
Shen Yiyou didn't eat a few mouthfuls, comforting himself that at least the wine was not watered.
Li Shu doesn't drink alcohol, even if he does, he probably won't be able to taste whether it's mixed with water, but he still agrees with Shen Yiyou's argument. Shen Yiyou paid the bill, held Li Shu's arm tightly, and walked out of the restaurant.
Under the street lamps that cast a faint yellow halo from among the dense sycamore leaves, Shen Yiyou happily leaned his face on Li Shu's shoulder.
Li Shu lowered his head nervously, and saw Shen Yiyou loosen one hand, stretched out, grabbed Li Shu's hand, and interlocked his fingers.
And three years later, on the way to the airport, Li Shu heard his regular and violent heartbeat again.
He felt a long period of uneasiness and happiness that lasted for a long time without beginning and end, throughout the whole date, so intense that it made him feel flustered, because of Shen Yiyou's presence.
That may have been the closest day for Li Shu to happiness, but the sweet dream did not last for too long.
The ten minutes after leaving the hotel consumed all of Li Shu's patience for the next three months. He wanted to send a text message to Shen Yiyou right away, or go back to the moment when he met Shen Yiyou by the elevator yesterday, and sleep with Shen Yiyou in his arms again.
But the former is out of date, and the latter cannot.
Li Shu didn't do well, he made Shen Yiyou lose his longing and happiness.
He wants to learn the special skill of falling in love, he wants to have a translator for human expressions and moods, and become an expert in Shen Yiyou's interpretation.
When getting out of the car, the listing team gave Irene a call to communicate about the road show.
Li Shu walked in the front, temporarily thinking that Shen Yiyou could be compared to a line of hexadecimal values squeezed in densely packed binary codes, and created a love story that he thought was very beautiful, recorded as follows:
In order to integrate into binary, hexadecimal numbers made a lot of efforts, and finally 1. assimilated themselves, 2. left after silently giving up, but in any case, at the end of the story, hexadecimal numbers disappeared from the binary world.
The binary program unknowingly loops through countless pieces of code to find its hexadecimal value, and runs alone for a lifetime.