Bai Jinming went to the restaurant downstairs of the company and asked for some plastic soup boxes, poured the pork rib soup that Xu Ran gave into them, left the thermos in the car, carried a bag of pork rib soup by himself, and entered He Cheng office.
He Chengzheng was reading documents with a tablet, looking serious, but Bai Jinming could tell from the look in his eyes that his mind was not on work at all.
"Take a break and come over for some soup." Bai Jinming greeted.
He Cheng frowned and watched him arbitrarily put the soup boxes one by one on the side coffee table, endured the unhappiness rising in his heart, and asked while getting up, "When will the soup start selling downstairs?"
"New product." Bai Jinming said without changing his face.
He opened a bowl of soup, the plastic bowl lid snapped too tightly, splashing a few drops onto the table. Just as He Cheng was about to get angry, he was taken aback by the fragrance that wafted out.
"What are you doing? Hurry up and drink." Bai Jinming handed him the spoon, "You haven't eaten tonight, have you?"
"... have you eaten?"
"I ate, Japanese food with customers."
He Cheng didn't say anything, but smelled the smell in the room, and his face became more gloomy.
Bai Jinming didn't care about him, took a sip and smacked his lips, "It's very fragrant, not greasy or greasy."
"you… "
He Cheng's brows almost wrinkled into the word "Chuan", looking down at him.
Bai Jinming raised his eyes and met his gaze.
"..."
After all, he swallowed those unspoken words, He Cheng sat down on the sofa, and took a sip of the soup.
"How is it?" Bai Jinming asked him.
He Cheng didn't speak, took another sip, took out the ribs inside and put it on the lid.
Bai Jinming muttered "waste", reached out to take the ribs and ate them himself.
He drank a full stomach of clear soup with little water, and in the end He Cheng didn't say whether it was good or not, but the two soup bowls also bottomed out. Bai Jinming drank the rest, wiped his mouth when he was done, and looked at his watch. Half an hour had passed since he entered the door, which was the longest time they had ever spent eating supper.
He Cheng stood up, straightened his clothes, "Get out of here after eating."
"Hey, will you turn your face and deny it when you're full?" Bai Jinming slumped on the sofa and joked.
He Cheng didn't want to be poor with him, so he waved his hands irritably, and let him go.
Seeing that he was really upset, Bai Jinming withdrew his joking expression, and said seriously, "What are you fussing about?"
"Shut up or get out," He Cheng gave him a cold look, "Has the plan for the next project come out?"
"No, I'll be interrogated by the old man." Bai Jinming was carefree.
He Cheng didn't pay attention to him anymore, Bai Jinming came up to ask, "Aren't you angry that I didn't call Qiao An over last night? Brother, what can I do if someone doesn't answer the phone?"
It's better not to mention this, but when He Cheng is mentioned, his face changes, Bai Jinming quickly backed up a few steps, and ran away while he was not angry.
After Bai Jinming left, the huge office became extremely quiet. He Cheng sat on the chair and sulked. After a while, he suddenly stood up and opened the window.
Although the aroma of rib soup is not heavy, it is like countless ants dancing in his heart. The evening wind blows in and blows away the smell. While the nasal cavity is cleansed, there is also a faint sense of emptiness in my heart.
Of course he is familiar with this taste. In the past ten years, he has drank Xu Ran's soup a lot.
Whether it's a rich chicken soup or a vegetable soup with no meaty taste, Xu Ran's good craftsmanship makes all the ingredients blend together like magic in the crock pot. Thinking that he might never be able to drink again in the future, He Cheng felt a faint sense of loss in his heart.
He froze for a moment, and immediately erased the abnormal feeling from his heart.
What a pity, if Xu Ran will do it, other people will definitely do it, and they will definitely do it better.
It's just that the taste of this pork rib soup still lingers in his mouth, He Cheng regrets listening to Bai Jinming's words to eat supper, and he should throw people out when he smells the smell.
He naturally knew what Bai Jinming was thinking, whether he was helping Qiao An hide from him, or bringing over the soup made by Xu Ran without permission, it made He Cheng feel very uncomfortable. But after all, they have been friends for so many years, there are some things that even He Cheng cannot easily expose.
In Bai Jinming's opinion, did he do something wrong
He Cheng didn't confirm the answer to this question, but he knew it well.
This made him even more anxious.
Where did he go wrong, making these "friends" speak up for Xu Ran over and over again? Both Wang Li and Bai Jinming looked at him like a fool, as if getting rid of Xu Ran was a great loss to him.
Ask yourself, He Cheng feels that he is not wrong, does standing higher than Xu Ran mean that he must accommodate him? Why
The more he thought about it, the more angry he felt in his heart, He Cheng simply turned on the air conditioner to get rid of the last remaining smell.
He wanted to completely erase Xu Ran from his life, treat their relationship in the past ten years as a mistake, and then tell those people that the loss of Xu Ran was nothing to him.
In this world, there is no difference between who is gone and who is gone.
The deputy director knocked on Xu Ran's desk and asked, "What do you think about yesterday's incident?"
Xu Ran, who was studying the report, was taken aback for a moment, unable to understand what he meant.
The deputy director adjusted his glasses and said in a low voice, "If you have any ideas, come to me as soon as possible."
After speaking, he went back to his seat to draw pictures, leaving Xu Ran there alone in a daze.
It took him a while to realize that the deputy director was talking about changing jobs.
To be honest, he really didn't think about it. It seemed that there was only one straight road under his feet, and the ground was full of thorns. He could continue walking, but he would get scars all over his body. Suddenly, there was an extra road beside him when he was in despair. A fork in the road, no one knows what will be there, it doesn't matter if he walks, or if he doesn't.
Ask himself, he can't leave without nostalgia. Even though they have broken up, He Cheng is still the thorn in his heart, the farther they are, the deeper the thorn will be.
He Yuxuan looked at him worriedly, but Xu Ran didn't notice his gaze at all.
After thinking about it but not getting an answer, Xu Ran habitually took out his mobile phone and clicked on the chat software to see He Cheng's profile picture. The message box has not disappeared, and He Cheng has not deleted him.
It's been a long time since the two of them talked to each other. He Cheng is very busy every day, and there are countless news that need to be read. It is estimated that his dialog box has long been squeezed to the back. Xu Ran put He Cheng's name on top, but He Cheng probably forgot about it long ago.
This has become Xu Ran's little secret, through which he can peek into He Cheng's life, even if it is a circle of friends that has not been updated for a long time, it can make him feel gratified.
This action made him feel like a child peeping into someone else's candy jar. He obviously had nothing, but he thought that one day the candy jar would belong to him. People are greedy, as long as they have something, they will want more.
Xu Ran didn't dare to ask for more, he was afraid that if he became greedy, he would lose all that was left. Just like before, he always hoped that He Cheng could look back at himself, but in the end, He Cheng not only didn't look back, but even waved his hand, leaving him on the road alone.
He doesn't blame He Cheng. Feelings are mutual, if He Cheng is at fault, then he is also at fault. He Cheng will always be He Cheng and will not change. One day he will spend his whole life with someone, but Xu Ran can't do it, it can only be said that Xu Ran is not as good as the person who can accompany He Cheng for the rest of his life, or Said it was all his problem.
This is the conclusion that Xu Ran came to after two days of thinking. He had felt something was wrong since a long time ago, and now he finally understands.
It's not that He Cheng treats him badly, but that he is not good enough for He Cheng, he can't follow He Cheng's wishes, and it will only make people angry.
It was because he was too greedy, wanting to take the only fruit candy out of He Cheng's hand, but never thought that that candy was not meant for him from the beginning.
But what should he do to make his heart less painful
Sometimes Xu Ran really wanted to stab his left chest, let the tip of the knife circle in his heart, and at the moment when the blood gushed out, maybe he would become less pathetic.
He was taken aback by his own thought, and stood up quickly, only to knock down the high pile of documents beside him. The paper was scattered all over the floor, and he knelt down to pick it up again.
He Yuxuan came to help, lowered his head and said, "Brother Xu, come to my house this weekend."
Xu Ran looked at him, but He Yuxuan kept his head down, concentrating on picking up the documents.
Xu Ran smiled. He Yuxuan has always been guilty of breaking up with He Cheng. Even though Xu Ran has repeatedly said that it is not his fault, the child seems to have made up his mind and insisted on making amends.
There was no reason to refuse, and Xu Ran also wanted to change his mood, so he responded, "Okay."
He Yuxuan stacked all the documents and left without saying a word.
Xu Ran felt that his mood was a little strange, but he didn't know what happened. He looked at him from a distance for a while, shook his head, and then went about his own business.
The weekend is not difficult, but these days there have been a lot of chores, even after work, Xu Ran still feels that the director's small eyes are always following him, which makes him feel very uncomfortable. Still suffering from insomnia at night, he bought a small night light and put it next to the bed to make the night less lonely, but he couldn't fall asleep even when the light was on.
Insomnia is a very terrible thing. When the body is exhausted to a certain extent, the brain is still awake, like a tireless spinning top, spinning and spinning, Xu Ran is afraid that it will break the string in his head. Limbs could not be lifted, eyelids kept fighting, but thoughts always drifted further and further away.
He thought of the days when he and He Cheng met. At that time, the sky was blue, the spring and autumn winds were blowing loose school uniforms, the schoolbags were heavy textbooks, and teachers and classmates had the same faces, but they would never get bored. He couldn't tell others about his relationship with He Cheng, so he could only secretly watch him on the playground. He Cheng never looked at him, so he could unscrupulously use his eyes to describe that person's handsome side face.
The two seemingly unrelated people are secretly lovers. This was the sweetest secret in Xu Ran's heart when he was eighteen years old.
This person is mine. He once shouted proudly in his heart, even if you stand around the basketball court to watch him, hand him a towel in the water, or even touch his hand, it is impossible to get him. Because he is mine.
He is mine alone.
Xu Ran turned over, not looking at the dimly lit night light. He couldn't sleep, but he didn't want to turn it off.
At that time, because of Qiao An's departure, He Cheng was not happy. Most of the time, he has a straight face, even when facing Xu Ran, his face will become more ugly, and it will gradually improve after the two of them have a relationship. Xu Ran felt that there was nothing wrong with this. After all, there must be an opportunity. If the ending is good, then the process is not important.
Today, Xu Ran is lying on the cold and narrow bed, looking at the dark window, thinking, is it really not important
If he hadn't been so impatient, but had waited a little longer, and when they graduated and stepped into the society to become better people, would it have been a different ending if they met again at that time
There is nothing if, if there is no past, they cannot even have a decade of entangled mistakes. He didn't even have a chance to dream.
It's not yours, no matter how much you mess around, it won't be yours after all.
He figured it out, but for some reason, his insomnia got worse. There was even a kind of uneasiness that began to eat away at his heart. He kept recalling the past with He Cheng, and those fragments buried in his memory kept pouring out. He couldn't control it, like an old silent movie, repeated over and over again. Playing the reenactment in his mind.
The more you think about it, the harder it is to let go, the easier it is to lose.
Xu Ran knew that this time, he was going to lose him completely.
The author has something to say: there is another chapter at blackjack