After lying in the hospital for three days, Xu Ran could barely sit up by himself. One of the things he did most during the day was to stare out the window in a daze.
The doctor knew that he was a bit weird, so he didn't talk to him much. Xu Ran was happy to be quiet, sometimes he sat for a whole day, and when he lay down at night, his tailbone hurt.
He thought of the days before, the days when He Cheng promised to go home for dinner, but didn't come back for a long time. He just sat by the window and looked at the unchanging scenery outside, counting the passing cars, seeing which one Only when He Cheng appeared.
At that time, he was full of expectations and did not feel disappointed. He counted from one to thirty, forty, fifty, and even to one hundred. He always believed that at the one hundred and first time, he could see the A black car came into view.
Xu Ran couldn't remember whether he had waited for the car in the end, the waiting time was too long, and his memory was blurred. The scenery in the hospital was different from that at home, but not many people showed up, and it was all lonely.
I had to ask for leave from my work unit. In the past few days, only He Yuxuan came to see him.
Looking at He Yuxuan's panicked face, Xu Ran smiled and said, "It's just a small car accident, it doesn't matter."
He didn't explain too much to He Yuxuan. He Yuxuan is still young, and he will never be exposed to those dark things in his life.
But He Yuxuan obviously didn't believe it, especially when he saw those inexplicable injuries on his body, his face became even uglier.
Xu Ran sighed and softened his voice, "Go get me a glass of water."
The water room is at the other end of the corridor, and He Yuxuan was taken away. He lay in a daze on the bed, and after a while, his eyes turned to the tree outside the window.
There are flower buds on the treetops, this side is facing the sun, the sun is just right, and the pink flower buds are almost transparent by the golden sunlight. Xu Ran likes this kind of picture, it seems that all the softness in this world has been crumbled into balls and stuffed into his eyes.
When He Yuxuan came back with a thermos bottle of hot water, he saw Xu Ran staring outside in a daze.
Xu Ran was very thin and pale, but he had never been so lonely like now. He Yuxuan even saw a slight grievance from the shadow he cast, his thin body was surrounded by loneliness under the embrace of the sun.
"Brother Xu." He Yuxuan said, his voice was so hoarse that he didn't look like himself.
Xu Ran recovered and smiled at him, "Thank you."
"...Brother Xu, how long will it take for you to be discharged from the hospital?"
The words turned around, He Yuxuan originally wanted to ask, when will you come back
It seemed that Xu Ran would never come back if he didn't ask this question.
Xu Ran thought for a while and said, "Two months?"
He Yuxuan's heart sank.
It would take one month to be hospitalized, and Xu Ran gave himself another month's grace. The unit would not allow him to do this. Xu Ran understood the rules of asking for leave. He said that, which meant he didn't want to go back.
He Yuxuan sat down beside the hospital bed, looked at the back of Xu Ran's hands so thin that the blue blood vessels protruded, and asked softly, "Where are you going?"
Xu Ran tilted his head, but did not give an answer.
Yes, where are you going? When he was with He Cheng before, he didn't want to go anywhere, as if he only needed to guard the city and the one-acre land with He Cheng in his life. Go, don't know where to go.
"Let's talk about it later." Finally Xu Ran said, "There are still two months left, I'll think about it slowly."
He Yuxuan left. He originally wanted to persuade Xu Ran, but after meeting those calm eyes, he couldn't say anything.
After He Yuxuan, the second person who came to see him was Bai Jinming.
It was only then that Xu Ran realized that his attending physician was an old acquaintance of the Bai family. When he was a child, Bai Jinming and his friends were injured in a fight, and it was all bandaged by Dr. Hu, so that those bastards would have the strength to go home and be scolded.
When Bai Jinming appeared, he was carrying a basket of expensive fruits. He sat by the bed, picked up an apple and started eating.
Xu Ran was amused, smiled and shook his head.
After eating a whole apple, Bai Jinming wiped his hands dry before saying, "You used to have a sad face, you should smile more, there's nothing you can't get over."
Xu Ran touched his face and asked, "What about him?"
"Him? Let's go to work." Bai Jinming hesitated, "I'll bring him to see you next time."
"No need." Xu Ran said, "He is busy and has free time, let him rest more."
"...do you hate him?"
Xu Ran was taken aback, his first reaction was that he was joking, but he found that Bai Jinming was looking at him seriously.
Xu Ran suppressed his smile, remained silent for a while, and shook his head.
"Don't hate him, what do you hate him for?"
Xu Ran lowered his head, pulled the corner of the quilt with both hands, and folded a flower on the snow-white quilt, "It's not his fault, what Mai Xing wants, even if it were another person, he would do it the same way." .”
It's just bad luck, that person is me.
"He Chenghe..."
When He Cheng's name was mentioned, Xu Ran's shoulders suddenly shook, this change did not escape Bai Jinming's eyes.
He paused, and said, "You don't have to worry about the medical expenses this time, He Cheng will pay for it all. You can rest in peace of mind and strive for an early recovery."
Xu Ran rolled his eyes and said softly, "I didn't realize it before, so you are a good person."
Bai Jinming was amused by him, and threw an orange in the past, "I'm not a good person, but I was picked up by He Cheng, in fact, I'm the same guy as he is."
Xu Ran smiled while holding the orange. Bai Jinming treats him like a small animal, he gives him a bowl of water and food when he looks pitiful, and that's all. But this does not prevent Xu Ran from thanking him. For Xu Ran, no matter how weak the support is, it is a gift.
Bai Jinming asked, "What are your plans for the future?"
"Heal the injury first, and then go back to work." Xu Ran broke open a piece of orange and put it in his mouth, letting the cool sweet and sour juice flow into his teeth and throat, "As you said, there is nothing hard to overcome."
He lied.
Long before He Yuxuan came, he borrowed the doctor's mobile phone to write the resignation letter, as if rushing straight forward with all his strength, and before he realized it, he had already submitted his resignation letter to the personnel department.
He didn't tell anyone about it.
Back then, he followed He Cheng alone and courageously, survived the hard times, and suffered many injuries, now it's time to start over. It's just that there is one less person around, so there is no expectation on this long road.
Who can blame.
Should he hate He Cheng? Xu Ran couldn't figure it out himself. There is pain and despair, but he has never regretted it. If he was eighteen years old again, he would still say "like" to He Cheng.
He didn't know what kind of deal Mai Xing and He Cheng had reached, and he didn't want to know now. The punches and kicks of those people still remain in the body, and every inch of bruise is smoldering with pain, and the nerves are stinging when they are pulled. He tried his best not to think about everything during those twenty-four hours. Compared with Mai Xing's punches and sarcastic remarks, what made Xu Ran more sad was his constant expectation and disappointment.
He had to keep telling himself "he will come" in order to stay awake, Xu Ran hated this helpless self.
He will come, he will not come, he will come...
If there is an acre of flower fields in front of him, Xu Ran can pick off every petal and count them carefully, until the number is messed up in the end, even he himself doesn't know the answer.
Finally He Cheng came, Mai Xing said, three hours later than he expected.
Xu Ran didn't say anything, but He Cheng's arrival had already exceeded his expectations.
Since when did he no longer have any expectations of He Cheng? Was it the night when Joan was tied to the end of the bed for who knows how many times after Joan came back, or was it earlier
It takes a very long process for feelings to go from warm to calm and then to numb. Before he knew it, he had already traveled all the places, and he still couldn't find a place in He Cheng's heart that belonged to him.
Even the dark little corner that he had always thought was not exclusive to him.
Xu Ran felt that his blood was cooling down too quickly, but when he thought about it carefully, it seemed that there had been clues a long time ago.
Maxing is an excuse, nothing more.
He Xu Ran has always been a coward since he was a child, and he had to run away even in the end to become self-reliant.
He wanted to escape far away, away from the city, away from the good times of the past ten years. Stay away from everything, and if possible, he wants to completely erase his past self.
No leeway, no regrets.
The days in the hospital were very boring. Xu Ran borrowed some books from the doctor and read them one by one, but he didn't learn much. He forgot the content of the books when he turned around. The bruises on his body healed quickly, but the cracked ribs prevented him from strenuous exercise or speaking loudly. This was exactly what Xu Ran wanted, he calmed down with peace of mind, sometimes he couldn't say a complete sentence for three days.
The more silent you are, the more you feel that this mouth is superfluous. In the past, he was surrounded by He Cheng, fearful and frightened, but now there is absolutely no need for it.
In his spare time, he asked the doctor to help him buy a new mobile phone. The previous one was trampled by Ah Wen and thrown on the side of the road, so there is probably no way to get it back. All the phone numbers saved before were lost, Xu Ran stared at the empty phone book in a daze, and the hand that opened the number pad did not press it for a long time.
All he can remember is a number. And that number no longer needs to be saved.
After all, there was nothing left, Xu Ran turned off the screen, and looked at his face through the reflection of the pitch-black screen.
With a thin and haggard face, if the young Xu Ran could be called "elegant", then the current one is only sad.
There is still a one-month buffer period from resignation to official resignation. The newly applied mobile phone number must be reported to the unit. Not long after it was sent, an unfamiliar number sent a text message.
Is the deputy director. He asked Xu Ran where he decided to go.
Xu Ran hadn't thought it through yet, and didn't reply for a long time.
The deputy director called him directly, "I know you mentioned the matter of resignation. Although it is a bit fast, if you don't find a suitable job, my friend's company is now recruiting technical staff, which is similar to our current job , if you go, you should be able to get started quickly."
Xu Ran was flattered, he didn't know why the deputy director mentioned him like this.
"People are different," the deputy director said calmly, "I think people are always accurate, you need a new platform, I need a talent, you have been in that office for so many years Sit most securely, there is no need to sacrifice what you deserve for the benefit of those people."
"I… "
Xu Ran opened his mouth, not knowing what to say for a while.
Perhaps aware of his hesitation, the deputy director said, "It's okay, when will you make up your mind, and when will you come to me again."
"… thanks."
Xu Ran leaned close to the receiver, and his knuckles holding the phone turned white.
Faced with such kindness, he can only say thank you. Apart from this, he had nothing else to offer in return.