After the summer solstice, the weather is getting warmer, and the hot and humid climate in the south makes Xu Ran miserable after he has just recovered. However, the landlord still basks in the sun happily every day, as if he doesn't care about the sun that can burn people.
Xu Ran asked her how to cool off the heat, and she dug out an old electric fan from the storage room, the fan blades dangled as if they could be thrown out. Xu Ran didn't dare to let her plug it in for a test, so he could only buy a new one online.
Later, Xu Ran found out that the reason why the old lady decided to go to a nursing home at the end of the month was because the accommodation there was free of charge in air-conditioned rooms, with air-conditioning fans, TV sets, and everything, and she didn't have to pay for electricity.
I took the time to go to the hospital, and the rib fracture has almost healed, but the right leg has not improved. But Xu Ran didn't care too much, he was used to living on crutches, now that the crutches were taken off and let him walk by himself, he didn't know how to walk.
In fact, this is not a good sign, but there were too many things to consider at that time, and he ignored many details that should have been paid attention to.
Dong Ziqi's tutoring class is three times a week. Xu Ran bought all the textbooks and complete explanations of all science subjects from the online bookstore. After looking through them, he found that the knowledge points hadn't changed from those he took the exam back then.
It's just that Dong Ziqi's foundation is too poor, and the six hours of make-up lessons a week can't keep up with the speed of high school teachers' teaching. In addition, the final exam will be in one month, Xu Ran is helpless with the few red test papers.
"...We just talked about this question last week," Xu Ran opened the exercise book and put it together with the test paper, and pointed it to Dong Ziqi, "It's just that the parameters have been changed, and the formula used is the same."
Dong Ziqi took a look, "Well, indeed."
Then continue to fiddle with the phone.
Xu Ran was about to be annoyed by him, so he snatched the phone and turned it off, "Do you really know, or are you playing tricks on me?"
Dong Ziqi was not annoyed when his mobile phone was robbed, he took out snacks from the drawer and started eating, and said slowly, "I really know."
"If you really know, why don't you answer the questions well?" Xu Ran asked, "This is not your real level."
After getting in touch with Xu Ran a few times, I discovered that Dong Ziqi is actually very smart. Sometimes when he gets annoyed by nagging, he would grab the test paper and finish it in a few clicks. Xu Ran thought that he was not so perceptive when he was a child, but for some reason, he just refused to take the exam seriously.
"You have to tell me the truth," Xu Ran said to him earnestly, "otherwise how can I help you?"
The sixteen-year-old boy had an arrogance that Xu Ran couldn't understand, and said with a straight neck, "I am at this level."
Xu Ran sighed, "Who are you fighting with, the people in the school, or yourself?"
Dong Ziqi stopped talking, and stuffed biscuits into his mouth desperately with a pale face.
Xu Ran poured him a glass of water, "I used to be as stubborn as you."
Because I can't see the future clearly, I always feel that the decisions I make are deliberate, and I repeatedly tell myself that I will never regret it, but when I really regret it, I find that everything has been irreversible.
He looked at the calendar, "There are still 25 days left for the final exam, and the third year of high school will start again. No matter who you are angry with now, this is the last chance. You can choose to continue to be willful, but in the future I don't guarantee that there will always be someone Forgive your mistakes."
Let Dong Ziqi decide which is more important.
After returning from Dong’s house, Xu Ran saw that the landlord was packing things in the storage room. There was a messy pile that was crumbling, so he hurried up to help him, and asked, “Auntie, what are you doing?”
The landlord took out a large leather bag from the inside, patted the ashes, and said, "Pack up your things and take them away."
"There are still a few days, why are you in a hurry." Xu Ran smiled and helped her close the door of the room, and said, "Besides, there are too many things here, wait for me to come back and help you clean up."
"Come on, you are less stable than me." The old lady pinched her waist, full of air.
Xu Ran looked at her tough body and then at himself, it seemed that this was indeed the case.
The old lady wiped her purse clean, sat on the threshold and writhed. Xu Ran also sat down beside her and put the crutches aside.
The style of the big leather bag was very old, the corners were so worn that the leather surface could no longer be seen clearly, and the zipper was rusted. It took two people a lot of effort to open it.
There are three compartments in the leather bag, the middle one is bulging, and the old lady took out a palm-sized wallet from it.
If he hadn't been with He Cheng for these years, Xu Ran wouldn't have an idea about wallets and purses. He could tell that it was a men's wallet.
The old lady looked at the wallet for a while, then handed it to Xu Ran.
"Auntie?" Xu Ran was puzzled.
The old lady patted the purse and said, "Keep it."
Xu Ran was startled, "This is your thing, I can't take it."
The old lady didn't force her, she glanced at him, got up and went into the house.
Xu Ran looked at the wallet, then looked back at the old lady's back, frowning deeply.
The dark black wallet had a faint smell of decay, and there were a few sheets of paper in the two-fold sandwich, which had been weathered to a fragile state. Xu Ran poured them out, most of the words on them could not be read clearly, there was only one photo, which was still clear because of the plastic film.
The background is the blue coast, a man and a woman embrace each other on the plywood of the port, smiling sweetly at the camera.
Xu Ran turned around again, the old lady had already entered the bedroom, the narrow room was empty, the draft was blowing from the door to the rear window, the curtains were raised and softly knocked against the white wall, making a rustling sound.
"Auntie?" Xu Ran called out tentatively.
No response.
Maybe everyone has an unforgettable guy, Xu Ran gently wiped off the dust on the photo, and rubbed the dry plastic cover, feeling sore in his heart. The old lady lived her whole life, but in the end, the person buried in her heart only remained in the image, shrunk into a small one, and faded with time.
I don't know if decades later, for He Cheng, he is also an unbearable past, he staggered and hesitated, and when he really looked back, only the desolation of the inner hall was left by the wind.
He washed the smudges off the edges of the photo and put it on the dining table together with the wallet. When the old lady wakes up tomorrow morning, she will see it.
It's not something he can decide to throw away.
As the day when the old lady moved to the nursing home was getting closer, Xu Ran could clearly feel her emotional changes. Originally not talkative, Xu Ran became more and more silent. Xu Ran was awakened in the middle of the night and found that she was flipping around in the storage room with a flashlight on.
Xu Ran asked her to sit down on the sofa, and went to the kitchen to pour a cup of hot tea. When she came back, she saw a piece of paper in her hand, which was crumpled and a little yellow.
Xu Ran took the piece of paper and spread it out, and saw that it said: Beloved my wife...
Only these four words.
This is a letter with only the beginning, Xu Ran wanted to return it to the old lady, but she refused to answer it.
"Put it there." The old lady pointed at the table, her voice as steady as ever.
Xu Ran sat down beside her, and asked softly, "Auntie, do you have something on your mind?"
The old lady looked up at the roof, and said after a long while, "I'm getting old and want to leave suddenly, I always feel a bit reluctant."
She began to talk about her past with Xu Ran. From the girl's home to going to college, to graduation, work and marriage, the long and long time has become a long and dull past in her mouth. She had been married once, but three years later she sank to the bottom of the sea along with the waves of the Pacific Ocean.
The letter was found on her dead husband's desk. She has kept it on the bedside for so many years, and she just glances at it when she thinks about it.
"I used to think that he would always be here, but I didn't expect that he only accompanied me for three years." The old lady said, "If I had known this, I would have seriously accompanied him for three years."
"When I was young, my family was rich and the country was open. After I broadened my horizons, I always felt that I was ahead of time. He also let me go, saying that as long as I look back, I can see him waiting. In the end, he didn't wait for me to look back. I didn't wait for him to come home."
Some things are missed. Wrong, too.
Holding the piece of paper, Xu Ran suddenly felt that the paper, as thin as a cicada's wing, weighed a thousand catties.
The old lady glanced at his legs and asked, "What about you?"
"...me?" Xu Ran smiled, "I'm worse than you."
At least a man and a woman can bind each other with a marriage contract, but he and He Cheng have relied on forbearance and bravado for ten years. Thinking about it now, if he let go earlier, it would not lead to the current ending.
I used to always think, wait a little longer, wait until He Cheng changes his mind, wait until the person he loves also falls in love with him, then all the hard work will become worthwhile. But when he looked back, he realized that all that was just his self-righteous contribution. Like He Cheng ten years ago, he held his sincerity in the palm of his hand and showed it to the other party, and the other party might not even want to look at it.
What is love
Is it the endless demands and flattery, or the constant tolerance and understanding? Is it because two people are in love with each other regardless of secular obstacles, or do they have to learn to let go at the right time to protect themselves
After living for twenty-eight years, Xu Ran suddenly became confused.
He remembered what his father said, don't suffer yourself.
Xu Ran was not at ease with the old lady going to the nursing home alone, and wanted her to stay so that it would be convenient to take care of her, but the next morning, the old lady picked up her luggage and got into the taxi as if nothing happened.
Xu Ran worried, "Auntie, you... take care."
He suddenly understood He Yuxuan's mood when he said the word "take care" to himself.
The old lady waved her hand and left in a taxi.
Back in the empty house, Xu Ran saw that the wallet was still on the dining table, but the photo was gone. He looked around, but he didn't seem to fall into any corner.
Some people say that they want to see and let go of certain things, but in fact they can't see or let go of them at all.
At least they were in love once. Xu Ran thought with a wry smile, if he was given three years of loving time, he would remember it in his heart forever.
He was the only one left in the originally not lively house. Standing in the middle of the living room, Xu Ran suddenly felt very empty.
He didn't get along with the old lady for a long time, but it made him feel very comfortable. No cautiousness, no trembling, it turns out that people can communicate with each other without any scruples, without fear of making each other angry, because there is no demand for each other, so there is no expectation or disappointment.
Xu Ran felt that he seemed to have found a way to settle his heart.
If you don't have expectations without authorization, you won't get hurt naturally. If he doesn't fall in love with anyone in this life, he won't experience another despair.
To be honest, he didn't want to love anymore.
A heart riddled with holes, naked| naked, probably no one would care about it.
He didn't feel any regrets.
The author has something to say: Thank you Qingshan for mine