The weather finally started to turn cold during the November holiday, so Xu Ran changed into a long hospital gown. The doctor helped him move the bed so that he could see the towering ginkgo trees outside the window every time he sat up.
The tender green leaves have been darkened by the sun in recent months, and the corners have begun to turn a faint yellow. Leaves will begin to fall in a month or so, and the ground will be golden, and it will creak when stepped on. Xu Ran has always liked autumn, this sweet and cool season full of flowers and fruits always makes him feel a bit of ethereal happiness in the helplessness.
This happiness was not given to him by anyone, but he realized it himself, enjoying himself while suffering.
I kind of want to go out for a walk, but I'm really powerless to be trapped on this three-acre land.
It is almost impossible to stand up at the end of the year, Xu Ran is not too anxious.
So be it, he thought, let it be.
The days passed quickly, and it was the end of October in a blink of an eye. During this period, Liu Ming came back twice and brought some southern specialties to Xu Ran. It seems that since he came to C City, he has been taking care of him, whether it is the work of tutoring or all kinds of things after the accident, Xu Ran doesn't know how to thank him.
But Liu Ming said, "You don't have to thank me, you've done me a great favor by helping Qiqi."
Dong Ziqi? Xu Ran was puzzled, he didn't know when he helped Dong Ziqi. But Liu Ming just smiled and stopped talking.
Bai Jinming didn't run too often, maybe what he said to He Cheng last time had an effect, he had hardly heard any news about He Cheng recently
It turns out that it is not so difficult for a person to completely disappear from another person's world.
Xu Ran has recently become obsessed with playing chess. He uses his mobile phone to play with other people online, and he can spend a whole day sitting still.
In the past, he seldom had time to calm down and do one thing. His mind was scattered, and he divided it here and there, and he still remembered that over-the-top man. Now that he is free, he realizes that there are so many things to do. Do. From the age of eighteen to twenty-eight, he wasted too much time on meaningless people and things.
Xu Ran knew that he was a bit useless, and he had to experience life and death before he could see it. But it was like this a lot of times, even if I knew it in my heart before, I couldn't do without him if I dragged him.
People will always grow, until the day when they can survive even if they are smashed to pieces, they will naturally not look back.
In November, air conditioning was used in the ward.
Xu Ran can eat some ordinary food, and Nursing Sister Wang will cook him some light meals. Sister Wang is a native of City C, and sometimes she brings porridge and side dishes to Xu Ran, and she eats deliciously by herself with a bowl of small noodles full of spicy peppers.
The spicy smell filled the nostrils, Xu Ran could only watch, and drank the bone broth with only a little salt in one gulp.
He began to miss the days when he was healthy.
When he was not on crutches, he thought it would be nice to have a wheelchair instead. Later, when he got on crutches, he felt that it didn't affect anything, and now that he was hospitalized, Xu Ran realized that lying down and sitting all the time would really destroy people's nerves.
He wanted to stand up, to walk, to hear the sound of his shoes on the fallen leaves. He also wanted to run and jump. Those were memories from before the age of eighteen, which were deeply embedded in his bones, and now they all popped up to eat away at his nerves.
He had forgotten what it was like to run.
The doctor suggested to start rehabilitation after a year, so Xu Ran could only wait. The transfer procedures have been completed, and he will go back to his hometown in three weeks.
Sister Wang knew the exact time of the transfer, so He Cheng naturally knew it too. And Bai Jinming... but no one ever mentioned it.
He Cheng is working. He is really busy.
As soon as he hung up the phone with He Jingtang, Bai Jinming called in and immediately asked, "You want to change the project city? It's already been decided and now you want to change, are you crazy?!"
He Cheng listened quietly, and waited for him to stop before saying, "It's not a replacement, it's an addition."
"...to develop markets in two cities at the same time? Not He Cheng, why do I think you are so capable now, you want to take off?"
Bai Jinming was really mad at him. The originally good cooperation project suddenly said that it had to be disassembled, not to mention He Cheng, even he was called up and scolded by his family's life-threatening serial calls early in the morning.
He Cheng's voice was very calm, with an unusual stability, "I've thought about it, you have a foundation here, and you can do whatever you planned to do before. I have no connections in the first place, it doesn't matter where I go."
"...then where are you going?"
"City D."
City D. Xu Ran's hometown.
Bai Jinming "Ah" couldn't say a complete sentence for a long time, so he slapped himself hard, and then said, "Why do you always want to torture him?"
"… I don't."
"Not yet? Do you know that I feel ashamed to see him right now!" Bai Jinming was so angry that he switched to listening to the phone, "It took him a lot of money to save his life, so don't go and try to provoke him, okay? You weren't like this before."
before? He Cheng thought, what was it like before
The man who used to go with him obediently when he hooked his hands, now his wings are hardened, and he can fly to places he can't reach.
He didn't know that there was such a strong force in that thin and frail body, which caught him by surprise.
Xu Ran wants to leave. Once you leave, you will never come back.
Without even thinking about it, He Cheng knew that he had to catch up.
But what do you do after you catch up
He had never run after someone in his life, and he didn't know what caused him to be so flustered now.
At first, he wanted Xu Ran to go back and help with the show, but after the accident, his guilt made him unable to leave with peace of mind. Now that everything has stabilized, he is unwilling to be calm and wants to move forward in a hurry, always feeling that he should do something.
He worked like crazy, worked overtime day and night, and finally came up with a new plan that satisfied He Jingtang.
If Xu Ran knew about it, what would he say
No need, no point. Even He Cheng himself felt a little ridiculous. Things that I didn't think were precious at all, I picked them up, threw them away, and thought about picking them up again. It turned out that the thing had already been broken into slag from the inside out.
He Cheng never knew that he would have such setbacks. He hardly knows himself now.
Sometimes he looked in the mirror, looked at the handsome but lost man in the mirror, and thought, this person is actually me.
After Joan, he had decided not to stumble on anyone, but in the past few months, his paranoid energy was no less than the ones he played after Joan left.
Xu Ran said that night, you were just scared, and you didn't really want me to go back.
He Cheng didn't know if what he said was right, so he wanted to try it.
No matter what the answer is, at least try to feel at ease.
At the end of November, Xu Ran was finally able to fly.
He took care of all the things in City C, and greeted the landlord and Liu Ming. Before leaving, he wanted to see Dong Ziqi, but that kid refused to show up at all.
"Is he avoiding me?" Xu Ran asked.
Liu Ming said with a detached expression, "You will know in two days."
I'm leaving in two days. Xu Ran was a little disappointed, he still liked Dong Ziqi as a student.
While waiting for the plane, I received a call from Liu Ming, who said, "Look back."
Xu Ran turned around and saw a small boy standing among the hurried pedestrians.
Dong Ziqi was fitted with a prosthetic.
"I won't sit in a wheelchair with you." Dong Ziqi lowered his head and said stubbornly to him, "Sitting is not comfortable at all."
Xu Ran in the wheelchair smiled. Smiling and smiling, the corners of his eyes are a little moist.
"I'm leaving." He said, "Come on for the college entrance examination."
The northern coastal city was windy in winter, and Xu Ran was shivering as soon as he got off the plane. He wrapped his coat tightly and hugged his parents who came to pick him up from the station.
He came home.
The cost of surgery and rehabilitation after the car accident was not a small amount. How much of it was paid by the family and how much was paid by He Cheng, his parents refused to tell him.
Xu Ran said to them, "Tell me the general idea, whether I can afford it or not, I will always know. I don't want to owe him anything."
The parents looked at each other and reported a number.
fine. Xu Ran thought, he still has a second-hand house in his hands, and if he sells it, he can return it together with his family.
But you can't tell your parents about this, they will definitely not let him pay back the money. And that house... He Yuxuan is probably still waiting for him to go back.
Xu Ran suddenly felt that he was quite an asshole, and when he said he wanted to leave the past behind, he really didn't want anything. He didn't have the energy to pick and choose among the mess, and simply threw all the good and bad ones into the abyss.
Thinking about it, he turned on his phone. The only call record under that unremarked number was on the day when he and He Cheng last contacted each other.
It turned out to be two months ago.
Swipe lightly, and the phone prompts: Do you want to delete this contact
His fingers paused on "OK" for a while, but he clicked back.
I have to pay back later. he thinks.
I can't move my legs, but my upper limbs are fine, and I can use the computer. Xu Ran thought about what he could do, so he couldn't just sit at home and wait to die. He didn't come home to gnaw on the old.
After thinking about it, I still called the deputy director.
Soon there was a compressed package sent to him, which was full of circuit drawings to be refined.
Xu Ran began to return to his old career. Although it was just a starting point, he was the same as before, taking every picture very seriously.
His mother felt sorry for him, so he smiled and said, "I want to earn money to support you."
"Where is the use of you?" Mother Xu scolded.
Xu Ran took her hand and said softly, "Mom, I was too stupid before, but now I have to think for myself and you. Don't worry, I won't be stupid again."
Mother Xu hesitated and said, "That person..."
"He Cheng." Xu Ran said.
"Yes, yes." Mother Xu said, "Are you and him..."
Xu Ran lowered his eyes and said lightly, "Actually, we broke up a long time ago."
Going around and entangled, I didn't expect to cause so many troubles.
His parents acquiesced in his sexuality, and they even skipped the step of coming out, laying out all the facts before their eyes.
He began to slowly tell his mother about the past between himself and He Cheng, bit by bit, but withdrew some details that did not need to be mentioned.
"He thinks he is my salvation, but he is not." Xu Ran said, "He is a hurdle that I can't get over in my life."
He Cheng was a nightmare disguised under a beautiful background, swallowing up all the feelings and longings of Xu Ran's past youth, leaving him with not even a little bit of happiness.
Mother Xu sighed and said, "It's okay, there will be better ones."
"Even if it's a man?" Xu Ran asked.
"Can you change it?" Mother Xu asked back.
Xu Ran shook his head, and his mother said, "That's it. If you can't change it, you won't change it. It's okay. We don't lie to others. If you are fine, Mom can rest assured."
Xu Ran smiled. He knew that his parents were brooding over He Cheng's matter, but he didn't know what to say. After all, parents want their children to be happy, and things have come to this point, if there is a more suitable candidate around Xu Ran, they will not mind whether the other party is a boy or a girl.
It's just that they didn't know that the wounds He Cheng had carved on his heart could no longer be erased, one by one, covered with blood beads naked| naked, numb from the pain.
Such a heart has long since lost the qualification to beat for anyone.
The author has something to say: Thanks to coti17 for the mine that looks like love
Watching Bai Jinming transform from a handsome rich second generation into a screaming chicken, it's really hard work for him×