Lin Shen's departure reminded Xu Ran that there was no need for him to torment himself with the last thought.
There is still a tail left in the past, and when it is broken, it will be broken.
When he said on the phone that he decided to sell the house, He Yuxuan didn't show much surprise.
"This is Brother Xu's house. If you want to sell it, you can sell it." He said, "When will you arrive at the airport? I'll pick you up."
Xu Ran looked at himself from the reflective curtain wall of the duty-free shop at the airport, and thought, don't scare you.
Really scared. Under the big sign at the station entrance, He Yuxuan couldn't close his mouth in surprise at Xu Ran who was sitting in a wheelchair.
"Xu, Brother Xu, why do you..."
Xu Ran smiled indifferently, "It's a long story."
He Yuxuan obviously looked unable to let go, and it took a long time to swallow the words from his mouth, and said, "The agent has already visited the house, and they said they want to discuss it with the buyer, and they will reply within two days."
"Thank you for your hard work." Xu Ran said, "Let's go, I'll treat you to dinner."
At the dinner table, He Yuxuan always glanced at him secretly, hesitating to speak, but Xu Ranquan pretended not to see him, and only chatted with him about some trivial housework. He Yuxuan also proposed to resign after the year, and is currently in the handover period.
"Where is the new job?" Xu Ran asked.
"A small city in the south," He Yuxuan said, "I have been in contact with it years ago, and I feel that the work rhythm there is more suitable for me."
"Very good." Xu Ran smiled with his eyes bent, "Come on, work hard."
He Yuxuan put down his chopsticks, "Brother Xu, you have changed."
"Ok?"
Xu Ran picked up a piece of mixed cucumber and put it on the plate. The taste of this city is slightly greasy, and he has never been used to the table of dishes in front of him.
"You...you seem to have become more cheerful," He Yuxuan frowned, "but you have also become... not so easy to get close to."
He paused, curled his lips and added in a low voice, "When I talk, I feel like I'm separated from you by a wall."
It seems gentle, but it is actually a silent and invisible rejection.
Xu Ran's hand stopped.
How could he not realize the change in himself. Um, okay, thank you, hard work, be careful on the road, work hard, these are enough to be called perfunctory words, separating him from the people around him. Xu Ran used to be kind to people with all his heart, but now he doesn't even have the energy to say something nice.
He bowed his head and said, "I'm sorry."
He Yuxuan quickly waved his hands, "I'm not criticizing you."
It is much better than the previous kind of worrying about gains and losses and being injured repeatedly.
"Life is always for myself." He said, "However comfortable it is."
Xu Ran laughed at him, "I haven't seen you in half a year, why have you become so deep?"
He Yuxuan blushed, "I can't be a child who can't grow up all my life."
He saw through many things from Xu Ran, the good and the bad, the things he might experience in the future, and the things that he needed to try his best to avoid, all of which could be answered in those ridiculous months. Sometimes he stayed in that second-hand house, looked at the bare walls, and thought, maybe he would become like this in the future.
Cold and lonely, hurt by others.
He has to learn to be strong, and he can no longer panic when encountering something like in the past. He learned to be a calm adult, at least in the future when the people around him are injured, he can have enough strength to support the corner of the lever so that the other party will not fall down.
Maybe he has learned it, but when he saw him today, he found that Xu Ran no longer needed such a support. I don't know what happened in just half a year, which made an originally gentle person become cold and indifferent.
He Yuxuan felt a tinge of regret.
He thought that Xu Ran would go back to look at the house, but Xu Ran said after dinner, "I have to go to a place first in the afternoon."
He Yuxuan was a little surprised that the place name reported by the taxi driver belonged to a high-end residential area, but he still followed.
He knew that Xu Ran had no relatives in this city, otherwise he would not have entrusted him to take care of the house.
He Yuxuan gradually realized something along the way, and fell silent and looked at the scenery outside the window quietly.
When the taxi stopped downstairs, he helped Xu Ran put the wheelchair away, watched the person struggling to transition from the car seat to the wheelchair, and asked with complicated emotions, "Brother Xu, are you sure you want to...?"
"Yeah." Xu Ran put his legs back and said calmly, "There are some things that I need to settle with him."
He Cheng has returned to this house since last night, and asked the housekeeper to clean up the dusty room, and put all the things in the place in memory, trying to restore a home full of warmth.
But no matter how he cleaned it up, he always felt that something was missing. The air in the house had a dull smell, entrenched in the corner, lingering.
As the time agreed with Xu Ran approached, he stood by the window, talking with Bai Jinming on his cell phone.
"You said you want him back? Didn't you want to break up with death before? What is it doing now?"
"… I have no idea."
"I don't know?" Bai Jinming almost laughed out loud, "Then do you still want him?"
"Think." Without hesitation.
Bai Jinming suddenly felt that he didn't know such a He Cheng anymore.
Bai Jinming sighed, "As your friend, I remain neutral, but as Xu Ran's friend, I advise you to be cautious. If you make a mistake again, you will never recover, but you must think clearly."
"But in any case, you have to remember that you have to be nice to people when you meet this time, and don't make any trouble."
He Cheng muttered something in a low voice, only to see a taxi parked downstairs. A boy got out of the car and helped Xu Ran to sit in the wheelchair.
They are talking. Xu Ran lowered his head, He Cheng couldn't see his expression clearly.
He just stood by the window and watched quietly until the two of them entered the building before leaving from the window.
There was a puff of air stuck in his heart, which made him ache.
He went to the bathroom and looked at himself in the mirror.
A little more energetic than before, the collar of the white shirt is slightly folded up. He straightened his neckline and took a deep breath.
The man in the mirror returned to his previous complexion. If he ignored the bitterness in his heart, he would still be the He Cheng with infinite glory. Outsiders can't see any difference between him and before going to City C, only he himself knows exactly what has changed.
The appearance can be changed, but once the heart is severely injured, it is difficult to restore the original appearance.
The doorbell rang outside, He Cheng looked at his glasses one last time, and went out to open the door.
Behind Xu Ran stood He Yuxuan, glaring at him angrily like a puppy.
"Come in." He bowed his head and said to Xu Ran.
He sideways let Xu Ran into the room, propped the door with one hand, and said to He Yuxuan, "This is our housework."
"Who is doing housework with you?" He Yuxuan was so angry that he almost jumped up, "Brother Xu is not with you...!"
"Yuxuan." Xu Ran whispered in the room, "Give me a little time."
He Yuxuan glared at him fiercely, and let go of the hand holding the door frame.
The door was closed, separating the corridor and the house. Xu Ran came to the window and gently fiddled with the lilies in the vase.
"You know how to grow flowers," he said.
This flower was brought over by the housekeeper yesterday, He Chengcai would not raise such delicate things.
He Cheng poured him a glass of water. He came back in such a hurry that he didn't even have time to prepare the tea.
The two sat down in the living room, Xu Ran took out two things from his bag and placed them in front of He Cheng.
He picked up the first one, and the familiar black and gold velvet box hurt He Cheng's eyes.
"This was originally meant for you." Xu Ran said, "Now it is returned to the original owner."
"I... I can't take it." He Cheng stared at the box and whispered.
Xu Ran said, "Whether it's your business or not, put the things here, you can take them, lose them or give them away, it's up to you."
His voice was cold and clear, as if the tie clip that cost him a few months' wages was a worthless item, and it would be no pity to throw it away.
He pushed the box to He Cheng's hand, and picked up the second one.
"The money for the two surgery fees has been transferred to the card with 600,000 deposits. This is the receipt." He said, "All the money I owe you has been paid off."
He Cheng pinched the receipt and almost crumpled and tore it to pieces.
As if he didn't see the tangled strength in He Cheng's hands, Xu Ran finally looked around and said, "This is the last time I'm here."
Years ago he just said that he would never see each other again, maybe He Cheng would laugh at him for contradicting his promise. It doesn't matter, he has already done what should be done anyway.
The money was paid back, the tie pin was given to the person who should have given it, and now he has nothing to worry about.
Lin Shen once asked, he owed you the operation fee, why do you have to pay it back.
Xu Ran replied, "I fell in love with the wrong person back then, and this is my own punishment."
He doesn't mind patting himself over and over again, to remind him of what it takes to get to where he is today. He will not make the same mistake again, but if he wants to completely cut off everything, he must show the proper attitude.
What he said before was too weak, which gave He Cheng and himself an excuse to turn around.
He Cheng firmly grasped those two things, and stared at him, his eyes seemed to be bleeding.
He leaned forward, with a slightly picky tone, "He Cheng, I have nothing left."
He accepted He Cheng's scrutiny openly. Just look at it, this is a body that you have played with and discarded wantonly. The soul contained in this skin is put to death and then reborn.
He Cheng could hardly find his own voice, he tried his best to calm down his overwhelmed mood, and asked, "Where's that man?"
"Which man?" Xu Ran asked back.
"The man from your hometown."
"Oh, you said Lin Shen." Xu Ran lowered his eyes and smiled, "He's gone."
"...you weren't with him?"
Xu Ran raised her head and looked at him quietly.
"I can't be with him, even though he is much better than you." He said to He Cheng, "I can't be with any good man, it's all thanks to you."
"I… "
"Look at me like this." He came out from behind the table in a wheelchair, came to the center of the living room, pointed to the pair of unconscious legs and said, "Do you have a sense of accomplishment?"
"What nonsense are you talking about!"
He Cheng stood up suddenly, his voice was full of anger, but his expression was very flustered.
Xu Ran admired He Cheng's wavering look almost like masochism, thinking, maybe this is the only chance in his life to make this man so flustered, he finally became the pain in He Cheng's heart, and at the price of almost dying, he exchanged Come to He Cheng's thoughts for a lifetime.
I will be your nightmare. he thinks.
It is a nightmare that haunts you all your life and will never fade away.
The author has something to say: Thanks to Shen Yuan Cookie for mine