He Cheng's palm was very warm, and the place where he was holding it was scorching hot. Xu Ran pulled his hand back forcefully, but He Cheng's expression was almost begging, so he couldn't help but relax his movements.
"you… "
Xu Ran stared blankly at the man kneeling at his feet. All these years, he has always been in He Cheng's position, begging the other party not to let go, and at some point the two of them fell apart, which made him really unable to get used to it.
"You get up first." He frowned and said, "Don't do that."
He Cheng shook his head stubbornly, as if he knew that as long as he got up, Xu Ran would leave.
Xu Ran was helpless, "You let me stay, what do you want me to do? Go to bed with you?"
He Cheng was startled, "No, no, I just..."
Just what, he didn't give a clear answer for a long time.
He didn't look like a cockroach, and Xu Ran didn't think that anyone would be excited by his appearance. The atmosphere became a little stiff in an instant, and He Cheng just knelt there, neither getting up nor speaking.
Xu Ran gradually calmed down, and gently pushed his hand away, "Don't force yourself like this, it's unnecessary."
"It's not necessary...how could it be unnecessary!"
He Cheng covered his face, his body trembling almost forbearance, "What else can I do, tell me, as long as you tell me, I will definitely..."
"He Cheng."
Xu Ran couldn't bear to see his crazy appearance, so he stopped him softly.
He Cheng raised his head, his usually shrewd eyes were full of confusion. He raised his hand helplessly and wanted to touch Xu Ran again, but stopped halfway, stood up suddenly, opened the bedside table and searched for something like crazy.
"Here... you wait a minute."
He took out a bank card and stuffed it into Xu Ran's hand, "Here you are."
On the card was a string of numbers that Xu Ran had already known by heart. Xu Ran looked at it, then at He Cheng's expectant face, and said with a smile, "What do you mean?"
"It's for you." He Cheng knelt down again and supported the wheelchair, "I haven't even touched the money inside."
Xu Ran's mood instantly fell to the bottom.
He weighed the bank card, and said calmly, "Do you still think that I was with you for your money?"
He thought that He Cheng was enlightened, but he didn't expect that He Cheng was still that immature child whose perception of things was only about money.
"I gave you this card before I went to City C. The 600,000 yuan in it is for a backup in case of accidents and your family refuses to help you. I didn't tell you that this was originally for you to save money." You can spend the money yourself."
He handed back the bank card, but He Cheng didn't take it. As soon as he let go, the card fell to the ground and landed at He Cheng's feet.
He Cheng lowered his eyes, his voice was muffled and panicked, "It's more than 600,000 here, and I added 20% of the shares of the new company, you take it, these are all yours."
Xu Ran didn't answer.
He Cheng looked at him almost pleadingly, "I know you don't want money... I know, but this is all I have, you have to let me give it to you."
It's the only thing he can afford right now.
Xu Ran sighed, "You're drunk."
When I sober up, I don't know how much I will regret what I said now.
He Cheng, who is not chaotic after drinking, looks fresh, but now he is like a child who has lost his direction, bumping his head against the invisible south wall. Xu Ran pushed him away and kept a distance of about one meter from him.
"Go get some sleep and don't think about anything."
When you wake up, forget about it.
He Cheng looked at him blankly, as if he couldn't hear his voice at all.
This man lost his edge tonight, and Xu Ran felt that something had disappeared from him, replaced by a kind of unsure of what to do. His hands were hanging by his sides, trembling slightly, but he didn't grab anything.
He wanted to touch Xu Ran's legs, but Xu Ran stopped him coldly, "Don't touch me."
You never cherished this body when it belonged to you, but now, you have no right to touch it.
He took out the cell phone from He Cheng's coat and threw it on the bed, "If you continue to make trouble, you will have a headache tomorrow, you can figure it out, if you have a stomachache, call the hospital."
As if thinking of something, he smiled softly, "It's only been three years, I think the hospital should still keep your case files from that year."
He Cheng asked blankly, "Are you... looking down on me?"
Xu Ran shook his head, "It's not that I look down on you, but that it's hard for others to look down on you because of what you did."
How could I look down on you, I obviously loved you. But that doesn't make sense at all.
In those years when we were in chaos, we had to pay for all the consequences in the end.
You should grow up. Xu Ran said silently in his heart.
He walked to the door, turned his head suddenly, looked at He Cheng who was still kneeling on the ground, and asked, "Do you know what it feels like to hug and kiss you only in a dream?"
How much time he spent imagining the love that he couldn't ask for, every time he woke up, it was like a knife was stuck in his heart, and the pain made him unable to breathe. Dreams and reality, true and false, until later even Xu Ran could not distinguish clearly.
He didn't ask much, he just wanted a kiss that had nothing to do with lust, even if it was an accident, even if it was a perfunctory one. But such a simple wish, He Cheng never fulfilled it for him.
Sometimes Xu Ran wonders if his own existence is not worth a kiss at all.
I can't blame He Cheng for rejecting him. He is unworthy.
He left He Cheng in that cold and dark house. When I left, I didn't forget to take the three strings of tendons, but I just threw them into the trash can in the community when I left the residential building.
He came to the small square. In the middle of the night, there was no one in the community. Occasionally, the lights of a few households were still on. The soft and warm lights hit the curtains, revealing the faint shadow of furniture.
Look up, the sky is full of stars.
After a long time, he heard himself humming. An unknown tune, light and gentle, scattered in the night sky, and no one responded.
A gust of wind blew past, freezing his palms. Xu Ran turned over his wrist, looked at the empty palm, and felt quietly and silently.
Feeling that the temperature belonging to another man gradually disappeared, and turned into a kind of coldness that seemed to be absent.
How easy it is to let go of someone.
It just takes years and months of grief and never-ending disappointment.
Xu Ran doesn't know how a dead person can learn to love again. He felt that he would never know it in his life.
I don't know what He Cheng will do after tomorrow, maybe it will be the same as before, maybe it will stop here. Xu Ran really didn't have the strength to guess his next move, so he could only say, take one step at a time.
He only has this life, if he can't break free from the shackles called "He Cheng", then go out and play with He Cheng.
Let's see if He Cheng got tired of it first, or if he broke off his wings first and fell back into He Cheng's palm.
Xu Ran didn't tell her parents why she came home late on Saturday. The image of He Cheng kneeling and saying don't leave kept appearing in front of his eyes. He didn't have that much energy to take care of other things, and it took him a whole day to adjust his mood before he reluctantly returned to the street to open a shop on Monday.
The noodle shop uncle came early in the morning and asked, "Xiaohe, is he all right?"
"It's okay," Xu Ran hesitated, then said, "He went back to sleep as soon as he got back."
In fact, he didn't know whether He Cheng slept or not. What happened after leaving the barbecue booth was really hard to tell, even Xu Ran felt like a dream.
But, it's not a dream.
The company will hold a regular meeting on Monday, and He Cheng will definitely not come. Guarding the deserted storefront, Xu Ran couldn't tell what his mood was. He didn't know how He Cheng was doing after that night, whether he still had stomach pain.
No matter who it is, even a stranger will worry about it, Xu Ran doesn't feel that this is the end of his love. But he will not send a message to ask, He Cheng will show up if he wants to, and if he just disappears, he will not take the initiative to find it.
But expecting that life would be fatal, Xu Ran received a text message at four o'clock in the afternoon, which said: I'm fine, everything is safe, don't read.
Who would miss you, shameless.
Xu Ran threw the phone aside and shook his head. He was really full to remember this person. If something happened to He Cheng, he could write Xu's characters upside down.
He thought that today would pass safely, but he didn't expect that half an hour later, the courier came in and said, "Mr. Xu, there is your courier."
"..."
Xu Ran weighed the express box with complicated emotions.
He leaned over and put the courier into the cabinet. During this period of time, the things sent by He Cheng filled the cabinet to the brim, and when the door was opened, it all slid out like a flood.
Xu Ran sighed heavily, rolled up his sleeves and began to tidy up.
Hearing the commotion, Xiao Hei ran over to join in the fun, and was so excited when he saw the express box, he rushed into the box to bite while Xu Ran wasn't paying attention.
"Hey, don't bite!"
Xu Ran rescued a small box from Xiao Hei's mouth, hugged it around his waist, and nodded its nose punitively.
Xiao Hei struggled fiercely, Xu Ran had no choice but to put it in a cage, and then came back to pack up the boxes and lock the cabinet door.
"Don't make trouble anymore." Xu Ran put on an angry expression towards Xiao Hei through the cage, but he didn't want Xiao Hei to ignore him at all, and sat there Shi Shiran licked the fur of his paws that made a fuss just now. Xu Ran failed to get angry, and smiled helplessly, "You, just rely on me to spoil you."
Everything that happened that weekend seemed to be an illusion. When He Cheng set foot in the book bar again, he had completely recovered his usual appearance as an industry elite. But his words became less, sometimes he came to the store and stayed for two or three hours, just tidying up the bookshelves silently, occasionally raised his head and looked at Xu Ran, and then quickly looked away.
Xu Ran could see the sadness flashing across his face. But how many times have he rejected those who should be rejected, what else can he say.
Maybe the essence of love is not getting what you want, Xu Ran sighed in his heart, he and He Cheng were entangled in the wrong time and place, the little love they had for each other was simply not worth the teasing from heaven.
Nothing seems to have changed between the two of them, and it seems that something has changed quietly. He Cheng no longer eager to please, became steady and silent, Xu Ran would also take the initiative to push a cup of tea after he came to help.
Take it as a thank you gift to him. Xu Ran couldn't be more aware of the feeling of guarding a person who doesn't love him.
Flash forward to late summer, the season when you can sweat all over while sitting still, Xu Ran puts ice cream in the store, and when friends come to visit, they will treat them to eat two.
From time to time, Tong Fangfang came over to buy a bag for the employees in the store, and Xu Ran could occasionally hear news about He Cheng from her. He Cheng got busy, and the number of visits to the small book bar became less and less when many projects were counted in the middle of the year.
It's almost time to give up, Xu Ran thought.
Tong Fangfang has never been aware of the relationship between the two of them, at least before she suddenly broke into the book bar with a strange expression, the relationship between him and He Cheng was still a secret that only belonged to the two of them.
Just after noon, Tong Fangfang slammed into the shop, startling Xu Ran.
She supported the bar, waved her hand to reject the ice cream that Xu Ran handed over, and said anxiously, "Brother Xu, why do people outside say that you and my boss are a couple?!"
The author has something to say: Thank you Lin Zikui. mines