"...control...mind...soul...emotions..."
In an underground dormitory of Slytherin House, Malfoy was sitting at his desk, staring at the notebook in front of him. His already pale face was now even more bloodless, as if it were a new corpse that had just been dug out of the grave by a tomb robber.
His lips moved slightly, and the words between his mouth were low and unclear.
From the silent reading at the beginning to the deep whisper now, coupled with the twisted bloodshot eyes, Malfoy's will has obviously fallen into an unstable state.
Finally, it seemed that he could no longer bear the depression in his heart. He closed the notebook with a bang and threw it on the table.
"... What... What am I doing?" Malfoy roared in a hoarse voice, and manic anger appeared on his previously expressionless face, "What spirit? What soul? Control your emotions? Damn it... these messy things can bring me strength and power—"
Halfway through gritting his teeth, he was suddenly shaken, and then he grabbed the notebook like crazy and threw it far away to the other end of the dormitory.
"No, no, no, no... Power? Rights? I... What am I talking about..." Malfoy pulled his hair hard, as if only pain could make him feel his existence, "I went to the restricted book area to collect information. , it’s to save yourself, not for any damn power!”
He knew that he was shaking non-stop at this moment, his hands and feet were cold, and there was a layer of fine goosebumps all over his body. He also knew that this might be because of the pain, but more importantly it was due to the fear that came from the bottom of his heart.
He used to be unwilling to admit his cowardice and cowardice, but now he cherishes this cowardice very much. Because he also knew that if he no longer felt fear, then he would no longer be him.
Yes, that's right, just like that night in the restricted book area - that weird self made him feel extremely creepy now.
In his body, the latent energy was constantly changing him... Or to think more pessimistically, that energy might simply intend to completely occupy his body and then replace it.
But what should he do
"If that day..." Malfoy pulled his blond hair, leaned over the table and supported his head with his elbows, lowered his head and murmured to himself, "If that day, I would tell Professor Snape the truth. Enough… "
Yes, that was the day when Snape was invited by his mother Narcissa to see him at home. On that day, he might still have the freedom to choose whether to speak or not. Although it would definitely be difficult to speak, it would never be like now. There is no way to tell the truth.
However, that day, he was seduced by the influence of that energy, and chose to answer the question in an evasive manner.
After that, Snape specially prepared a more powerful dreamless sleeping potion for him, which finally allowed him to say goodbye to nightmares at night and be able to sleep normally.
But the good times didn't last long. When he realized that the abnormal energy in his body gradually increased to a level that even he could easily feel, it was too late.
Occasionally, he could notice that his desire for strength, power, etc. would continue to amplify to the point where it was enough to cover up his emotions and even reason. What's even more frightening is that when he maintains that state for a period of time and recovers, he still retains the crazy memories that would drive him crazy.
That feeling was as if there was another self inside him, and every time he experienced it, he would break out in a cold sweat.
So, when he finally went to Snape's office to refill his Dreamless Sleep Potion, he wanted to confess to him. But then he realized that the moment he tried to speak, his whole body seemed to be no longer his.
He could hear Snape asking him impatiently, "Why are you standing there in a daze?" He tried to pull his jaw and lips and tongue, but he could only feel that the muscles on his cheeks were as hard as rock and steel, and they were completely lost. The ability to relax.
Later, he felt so lost at being unable to speak that he even forgot how he left Snape's office. All he knew was that he finally returned to his dormitory in despair, with several bottles of potions that Snape had prepared for him in his pockets.
"Hum hum… "
Suddenly, Malfoy, who had his head hanging down, laughed inexplicably, and there was a vague coldness in the laughter.
"You won't let me say yes? Then I will let others know... Shame? If the Malfoy family makes any irreparable mistakes again because of me, that will be the real shame!"
After saying this, Malfoy suddenly stood up from the armchair. The blond hair that he was proud of in the past was as messy as a chicken coop, but his eyes were brighter than ever before.
I saw him pushing the chair behind him and walking straight towards the notebook he had just thrown out. When he leaned over to pick it back up, an obvious pause appeared almost simultaneously with the struggle on his face.
But in the next second, the paused Malfoy moved again!
Holding the notebook in his hand, he opened the dormitory door and walked along the corridor to the Slytherin common room outside. When he arrived here, he saw many students at a glance, and the sharp-eyed Pansy immediately greeted him.
But he ignored anyone and walked directly through the common room to the Hogwarts underground corridor outside.
By the time Malfoy burrowed his head all the way to the foyer on the first floor, veins were already showing on his forehead, indicating that he was suffering from great pain or pressure.
Then…
“…go for it!”
When the notebook in his hand suddenly flew towards the center of the castle door's foyer, a grin appeared on his face, and a roar broke out deep in his heart.
"If you haven't understood my situation after seeing this... you don't deserve to have been afraid of me for five whole years!" Although he couldn't make a sound at this time, he was so proud in his heart. Shouting, "...damn...McLean...Professor."
Perhaps because he saw his notebook dropped on the lawn outside, Malfoy suddenly felt relieved. Then he turned around decisively and wanted to go back to the dormitory directly, but before he could take a few more steps...
"...If he finds out, will I still have the chance to gain the power to control everything?" Malfoy, who stopped in place, suddenly chuckled, and the self-talk coming from his throat seemed particularly low, "Others are stupid and don't care about me. But if you are stupid too...then there is really no cure."
After he finished speaking so vaguely, under the surprised gazes of several young wizards in the hall, he quickly walked out of the castle door and gently picked up the notebook he had thrown out. .
"However, there is no need to worry too much... Although MacLean is strangely strong, his character is as stupid as ordinary people..." At this time, Malfoy muttered disdainfully, "He would actually help someone who had once offended him. His family? It’s simply ridiculous…”
The students in the hall looked at Malfoy's leaving figure, obviously confused. Of course they didn't understand why Malfoy would throw away his notebook with a grin and then pick it up again.
However, based on the mentality that one thing is worse than one thing less, basically no one will pay attention to such a strange guy, but private discussions are indispensable.
"Was that Draco Malfoy just now? It seems that he has never been normal this semester..." A student said softly to his companion.
"Shh-" The other one immediately waved his hand and said in a low voice, "If you had missed the grade, you would probably be no better than him! And... I heard some sixth graders mention that his father was arrested. I went to Azkaban because..."
After Malfoy left the hall, the students began to move again. And there was a small topic between them.
Maybe starting from today, there will be one or two more rumors about Hogwarts. It is still unclear whether these rumors will reach the ears of interested people, even Maka.
…
Meanwhile, on the other side, in the garden of the castle forecourt.
"...To be honest, I don't think we can find the clues we need in the library. Even in the restricted book area, there are only some black magic books that are more research-intensive."
In a corner of the garden, Hermione, Ron, Harry and Luna were gathering together, and Hermione was whispering something.
"Then where should we look? We don't even have a clue about Voldemort's Horcruxes..." Harry said with a depressed look on his face.
"No, there are still clues, right?" Ron spread his hands, "It's just that we didn't find it."
Harry then shook his head.
"Isn't it still the same?" he said depressedly.
"Stop thinking about that diary, didn't I say that? It's probably already in Maka's hands..." Hermione said, "The stone door still has traces of frost to this day. It's obviously Maka's. Ka’s handiwork. Besides, he will definitely not miss the clues that we can easily think of."
While she was recalling the previous night's action, she urged Harry and the others to think of something else.
Yes, just a few days ago, they went to the Slytherin Chamber of Secrets in order to find clues about the Horcruxes. Because of the incident in the second grade, the group of people involved naturally thought of the diary that was left in the secret room in the past.
"Eager and unable to solve the problem for us..." When everyone was somewhat bored, Luna's clear and erratic voice suddenly rang in their ears, "I heard a story from Ms. Gray. You want to hear it?" Do you want to listen?"