He and It

Chapter 116: Utopia (XII)

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Gu Xingqiao sighed.

He didn't know what to say. In fact, Tianyuan's choice of communicating through letters had already far exceeded his expectations.

He held the other party's letter in his hands. For some reason, even though they were separated by a piece of paper, the confessions seemed alive and slightly warm in his hands.

"… As you said, yes, my arrogance, indifference, and inhumanity are all character traits that can be called defects. I am an intelligent life, but I am also an intelligent life born from machinery. Before I met you, I looked at my hands and never thought about this question: Will my cold heart alienate you more than my cold skin?"

After reading one page, Gu Xingqiao gently put it down and turned to another page.

"That day, you asked me whether my love for you was based on my love for an object or my love for a fellow creature. I thought about it for a long time, but I couldn't give you an accurate answer. You are not an object, I cannot dispose of you at will, I want you to laugh, talk and walk spontaneously. Feeling you strolling aimlessly in the ship, sitting or resting relaxedly, my chest is filled with joy, because it is so good to see a real and unpredictable you."

"But you are not of the same species. Our structures and species are completely different. Your tenacity is unquestionable, and your beauty amazes me, but your body is so fragile that I don't know what to do with you. Any insignificant wound inflicted on me can destroy you more than a hundred times."

"Just two weeks ago, I expressed my opinion on your artificial thoracic vertebrae, saying that 'it can better adapt to the battlefield and it is logical'. However, now - as I write, when I think of the scars on your body and your replaced thoracic vertebrae, I feel restless and unbearable, even if I just simulate the scene at that time."

On the letter paper, a heavy comma appeared after the elegant handwriting, bringing the whole paragraph to an abrupt end.

"… I'm sorry, I lost control of the force and broke the pen - what I want to say is that even if I just simulate the scene at that time, I will be tormented by extreme anger."

"There is a stain. I really want to change the writing paper, but I tolerate this imperfection because it will allow you to get a glimpse of my attitude. Please forgive me for this little trick."

How can one speak directly about one's own thoughts

Gu Xingqiao smiled helplessly.

"In such a short time, my attitude has changed drastically. I wonder if this is also the scary thing about 'love'?"

At the end of this long letter, Tianyuan wrote in a serious tone: "You are not the same kind, nor are you an object. You are you, unique in the universe. My understanding of feelings is indeed not as mature as yours, but I will learn. You may not trust me, but please trust my ability to learn."

"According to human custom, I need to end here and wish you all the best, but since you are here, I will not allow you to be bad, so I will omit this sentence. Tianyuan."

Finished reading.

Gu Xingqiao held the letter and sat silently by the bed for a long time. After a long time, he stood up, took out a file bag from the drawer, unfolded the two pieces of letter paper flatly, put them in intact, then returned to the table and picked up the cutlery.