It was already dark, Xu You squatted on an unfamiliar street for a long time, her mind kept buzzing. The phone vibrated tirelessly, but she never answered it, and she didn't even have the strength to look at the caller ID.
In the end, my feet became numb and the pain in my stomach finally eased a little.
"—Little girl, are you okay?" A voice appeared in her ear.
Xu You looked up and saw a young girl wearing a mask. She bent down worriedly and asked: "I see you squatting here alone for a long time..."
Xu You was taken aback, trying to be natural, waved her hand, and said to the man, "I'm fine..."
Her face was pale and weak, and she coughed several times.
The young girl couldn't help but stepped forward to help her, "You don't look well, do you need to go to the hospital or something?"
"No... ."
At this time, Xu You's cell phone rang again, and it was Xie Ci calling. She sighed lightly, and pressed it away.
It's not that she ignores him on purpose, but she knows that some emotions have accumulated in her heart now, and it's not easy to fade away. The spirit has been broken up. When this kind of sensibility prevails, continuing to quarrel will only hurt each other.
She didn't want to quarrel with Xie Ci, let alone hurt him.
"Thank you." After Xu You stood firm, she thanked her embarrassedly.
"Thank you, it's just a small effort."
The young girl was kind-hearted, and accompanied Xu You to stop a taxi by the side of the road, and left after watching her get in the car.
Arrived home. The lights in the living room and kitchen were on, and Dad Xu was sitting on the sofa reading a newspaper. Hearing the movement, he raised his head and glanced at Xu You who had just entered the door.
"dad."
Xu You changed her shoes and took a few steps closer.
Dad Xu picked up the remote control that was put aside, turned down the TV volume, and asked casually, "Where did you go with your classmates? I played with you all day, but I didn't answer your phone call just now."
"Just now I didn't look at my phone, didn't go anywhere to play, and came back after eating."
Father Xu was silent for two or three seconds, then put down the newspaper in his hand, "Come here, I have something to tell you."
Xu You nodded, untied, unloaded the bag and walked over.
"You've been a little out of shape recently."
She was a little confused.
I heard Dad Xu say: "Tell me honestly, are you still thinking about the physics competition?"
"..."
"No..." Xu You murmured back.
"No?!"
Father Xu turned up the volume, threw the book out from the side with some excitement, and scolded, "You said you didn't have time to do the materials I bought for you, but in the end, you finished all the physics exercises in version B of May 3, Where did you get so much time? I told you that competition is not the way out, and you have not received any training, and your school has not organized training outside, why are you still so stubborn, is it out of your mind?!"
"Look at your brother's lesson, isn't it enough?! Year after year of waste, it's not that he hasn't made a name for himself. They still have formal training. You just rely on self-study, what can you do!"
"It's so easy to waste a girl's youth. You said you, I agreed with you to apply for the physics competition last summer, but you were rejected in the first test. I know you had a fever at that time and your performance was unstable, but this also Isn’t it an excuse to know? What should you do if this situation still happens after you are in the third year of high school? The competition is different from the college entrance examination. What kind of competition, if you don't do well in the college entrance examination because of this, are you going to repeat it?"
“…….”
She knew her father's expectations and worries, so she couldn't find any words to refute, so she simply remained silent. Xu You’s cousin also studied competitions, but he still failed in the last year of senior high school.
"What happened?"
Chen Xiuyun heard the commotion and came out of the kitchen. Seeing Xu You being scolded again, she felt anxious, and quickly stepped forward, pulling Xu You behind her, "Why are you scolding the child again...."
"Ask her yourself!" Father Xu's anger still persisted.
Chen Xiuyun turned her gaze to Xu You who was bowing her head.
She remained motionless and silent, without saying a word, and her eyelids were drawn down.
"what happened?"
Xu You pursed her lips tightly.
"What are you talking about, do you want to scare mom to death?"
Xu You opened her mouth, and just as she was about to speak, tears fell down her cheeks. She wiped it with the back of her hand, but couldn't stop.
Seeing her like this, the two adults couldn't bear it. After a stalemate for a long time, Xu's father calmed down a bit, he sighed heavily, and said in a deep tone, "It's not that father forced you, our whole family's hope is on you, your mother and I are only your daughter, and we worked hard to raise you. You have good academic performance, don't waste such an important time period on meaningless things, it will be too late for you to regret later...."
"Forget it, I won't talk about you today, go back and think about it, and go to bed early today."
Chen Xiuyun called her to stop, "Do you still have something to eat? Mom ordered some noodles."
Xu You shook her head.
---
After taking a shower, she leaned on the bed and stared blankly for a while. Feeling that it was too cold to sit, he simply took off his clothes and got under the covers.
It was not warm under the quilt, but I felt cold hands and feet.
I was stunned, not knowing why I thought of thanking you. When you get along with someone for a long time, you will become too dependent and habitually miss them.
He always wears less clothes, but his body is warm and dry, unlike himself, which is as cold as ice. So every time the two of them were outside, he would habitually hold her hand and put it in his pocket.
Fingers intertwined, skin against skin to keep warm. Gloves are not as warm.
The light of the mobile phone was very bright, and it was placed next to the pillow, and it vibrated again and again.
This time it's not a phone call, it's a text message.
A slight ding-dong sound, continuous, resounded in the room.
The last message is longer than the previous ones. Xu You picked it up and looked at it.
[Can you answer my phone? Can text messages be read twice? ... Xu You, I'm really afraid of you, how can someone take their relationship more seriously than me, break up if you say break up... ..]
Seeing this, she didn't continue to look down.
The dizzy yellow light above the bed was still on, Xu You reached out and turned it off, and the room suddenly fell into darkness.
She picked up the phone, turned over, and fumbled for a number.
Beep twice.
"... Fuck, Xu You, I have been standing downstairs at your house for two hours, and I finally paid attention to me. Damn, I was going to send you a letter of breaking up the relationship just now." His tone was aggrieved and anger.
"..."
"Can you hear me?"
"you say."
"Come down? Come down."
Xie Ci spoke quickly and asked twice.
Xu You didn't make a sound.
"The security guards in your community will soon know me..."
"Thank you, you have a cold, go back quickly." She spoke in a very soft voice.
He was silent for a while, and seemed to admit it, "Tell me, what do you want me to do, I really can't do it."
“…………”
"Are you going to break up with me?"
"No."
"oh... "
There was a slight clink of lighters over there.
Xie Ci is smoking again.
"You don't like my friend?" he asked.
Xu You clutched the phone tightly, her hands trembling, "No, the problem between me and you is not this."
"What's the problem, then you don't like me?"
He said 'Oh', "Let me put it another way."
"Are you looking down on me and my friends, think that our grades are not good, that our lives are extravagant and our tastes are vulgar.
I only eat, drink and have fun all day long, fighting and making trouble, that's right. You all think so anyway, right? "
The voice of thank you was rarely indifferent.
And fragile.
She couldn't hold it back, bit her lip, tears soaked the pillow.
There was a long silence on the phone. It was so quiet that there seemed to be only the whistling wind. Minutes are longer than hours.
"okay, I get it."
After he finished speaking, he hung up the phone.
Didn't sleep well at night. Xu You had a dream.
In the dream, she seemed to have walked a long way, and the messy light in her eyes was receding.
Xie Ci sometimes accompanies her, but sometimes disappears. She watched him walk away.
The lines of his back were indifferent, then gradually became fainter, and finally disappeared into the darkness.
When she woke up, Xu You checked the time on her phone, it was four in the morning. She was lying on the bed, staring at the ceiling, unable to fall asleep. Get out of bed, open the curtains and look out.
In the night, the vast expanse of white reflects the light.
It's snowing again.
this city.