When I woke up, there was no sound around me. The lamp on the bedside table stayed on.
Xie Ci turned his head uneasily, his eyes slowly opened, and his eyes were blurred. He had a splitting headache, lifted the quilt covering his body wearily, stepped on the floor with bare feet, and pushed open the door.
The living room was quiet and empty. A plastic bag containing a large bag of medicine was randomly placed on the shoe cabinet.
He will be stunned. Sitting on the sofa, took the lighter and cigarette case.
--
Insert the key into the lock, and turn it with a soft sound.
Xu You lowered her eyes and put the key aside. She carried the rice and vegetables bought from the supermarket, put on slippers and entered the house.
The chandelier above the head was pushed open. The light fell on her clean face, white and clear.
Xu You was still wearing the clothes she wore for work. A white shirt and a gray one-step skirt, revealing a beautiful calf, thin and white like a lotus root. Without the youthfulness of a girl, but with a different charm.
Xie Ci was shocked. He was so engrossed that his eyes followed her.
Xu You didn't seem to notice him smoking in the living room, and went straight into the kitchen.
Xie Ci hurriedly put out the cigarette, stood up and chased after him. But he didn't dare to go in, so he hesitated at the door and asked, "You... why are you back again?"
She lowered her head to work and ignored him.
Gradually, Xie Ci became more courageous and approached Xu You bit by bit. He peeked at her from time to time.
Didn't stand too close either.
With slender fingers, Xu You picked vegetables and washed rice, the blue blood vessels on the back of her hands were clearly visible through the white skin. He bent down to take out the bowl, raised his arm and turned on the range hood. Xie Ci watched her every move without blinking.
There was a long silence between the two, Xie Ci remained motionless in place.
Xu You tilted her head, looked into his eyes and asked, "What are you doing standing here?"
"ah?"
Xie Ci was stared at by her suddenly, without going through the brain, he blurted out: "I will help you."
“…….”
"Go outside and take your medicine."
Averting her eyes, she skillfully cracked an egg, turned on the fire, and threw the washed vegetables into the pot to fry.
After finishing speaking, he didn't continue to look at him.
It was extremely quiet at the dinner table.
Xie Ci calmly ate the freshly boiled vegetable porridge, buried his head in the bowl, and was inexplicably nervous for some reason.
Xu You was sitting opposite, not saying a word, not knowing what she was thinking.
"...You, do you want to eat?"
She only made a porridge and gave it to him.
"you eat."
Xu You sat on the chair and said after a while, "I have something to tell you after eating."
“…….”
They were speechless for a moment, there were not enough topics between them, it was before, and it is even more so now.
After dawdling and eating, he reluctantly put down the spoon until the bowl was empty.
Xie Ci had just taken antipyretics, and he didn't know if it had any effect, his cheeks were still flushed.
"Report to Teacher Xu, I'm done eating."
Xie Ci smiled and his face became lively.
Xu You looked at him for a while, but remained silent.
He wasn't happy for long when he heard her say softly, "Tell me about your past few years."
"..." Xie Ci froze with the slightly raised corners of his mouth.
Xu You looked at his expression without blinking.
"I've already told you, I had a problem with my hand at that time, so I dropped out of school." He mentioned the past and smiled indifferently. But the eyes are lowered.
Xu You nodded, "Then."
"... what then."
"After you dropped out of school." It was the first time she was so resolute.
"......"
"There will be no more."
Xie Ci withered, and then fell silent.
There was a long period of silence between each other.
Under Xu You's calm surface, waves finally appeared.
The legs of the wooden chair rubbed against the ground, making a piercing sound.
Xie Ci heard the movement and looked up. Xu You stood up with a tired face, pushed away the chair, and was about to walk away.
He didn't know why, and his heart sank.
It was as if she had returned to the hospital many years ago, watching her straight back walk away and finally disappear.
I don't know why, I have a premonition, this time she left, she really won't come back...
Xie Ci panicked, and hurriedly stepped forward, "Wait, don't go."
This time, Xu You didn't let him hold her wrist. She raised her arm, only half a meter away from him.
In the past few years, her skin has become whiter, and her chin is sharp and thin.
Xu You was still in a disappointed mood, she shook her head.
"Thank you, I will give you one last chance."
She gritted her teeth and told him slowly, almost word for word.
"I want you, yourself, in person, to tell me what happened to you in the past few years, and the reason why you left me in the first place, and even approached me in the past few years, but never came to me."
"......"
The faucet in the kitchen seemed not to be turned off tightly, and the sound of ticking was endless.
"Xu You." He said with difficulty, "I..."
Now that the matter has come to this point, Xu You doesn't know where such strong emotions come from, and doesn't want to pursue it.
She knew what she wanted, so she pampered him and herself over and over again.
But Xu You has a bottom line.
So she has to figure it out, she doesn't want to be vague.
"Thank you, I am a dedicated and persistent person, but that doesn't mean I can't let go of anything."
The corners of Xu You's mouth tightened, but her eyelashes began to moisten, "I don't want to know everything about you from other people."
So, can you be brave for once.
she thought to herself.
I really can't stand it any longer.
It was only now that Xu You realized that she might not have gone out for so many years. Still spinning in place.
She kept reminding herself, don't look, don't think about it.
But he saw that he was burning at home and was about to die of illness, but there was no one around him to take care of him.
Seeing him no matter how much he forced a smile, he couldn't hide his decadence.
Xu You began to think that it was wrong to let Xie Ci make his own decision, everything was wrong.
"Thank you."
Almost at the moment Xu You spoke, Xie Ci looked directly at her face, finally making up his mind.
"—Xu You, I tried my best."
"..."
She stopped talking.
---
What happened earlier was similar to what Song Yifan said.
Later, Xie Ci was discharged from the hospital, and he was depressed at home for a long time, and he didn't bother to go to rehabilitation.
Knowing that his hand was disabled was a big blow to him when he was still young. In addition, breaking up with Xu You is already beyond the range that Xie Ci can bear.
At that time, he even thought that it was all over.
There was basically no difference between day and night for him, and he did not drink a drop of water for two whole days.
Until Xie Tianyun picked him up from the bed.
The relationship between father and son has not been good. Because when Xie Ci was young, Xie Tianyun was always busy with business and had no time to take care of Xie Ci. Later, he divorced Xie Ci's biological mother, the business grew bigger and bigger, and he had no time to take care of Xie Ci.
Lacking family love in childhood, Xie Tianyun felt that he owed his son a lot, and tried to make up for it materially. But Xie Ci has an unruly personality and refuses to communicate with him, and the gap between father and son is getting bigger and bigger.
Xie Ci was too rebellious in his youth, he smoked, drank, fought and picked up girls, as long as he could piss Xie Tianyun to death, Xie Ci would do it all.
Finally, when Xie Ci was a sophomore in high school, Xie Tianyun was called to the school's Academic Affairs Office. The first time he saw that girl, she had firm eyes and she was protecting Xie Ci behind her back. Xie Tianyun knew the relationship between the two of them at a glance. Who can know what his son thinks better than him.
As Xie Tianyun expected, Xie Ci changed visible to the naked eye afterwards.
Before he was relieved for a long time, Xie Ci had another accident. Zeng Qilin told him the general things, including breaking up with Xu You. Xie Tianyun also came from this age, so he naturally knew what Xie Ci looked like and what he was thinking.
"—Thank you, I say you are ignorant, I say you are stupid!"
Xie Tianyun shook his head, hating iron but steel and said to him, "If one hand is crippled, the whole of you is crippled. No wonder others look down on you."
Xie Ci was poked at the sore spot, his eyes were red, and his expression was agitated, "You fart."
"Xu You...she...me." Xie Ci was incoherent, but couldn't say anything.
Xie Tianyun slapped him with great force.
"Anything can easily knock you down. You don't have a future yourself. How can you give others a future?! Thank you. You are 18 years old. As a man, you should know what you should do. Just like you who eat, drink and play every day Attitude, even if you don’t lose your hands, how long can you survive with the money I give you when you go out in the future?! How long can you and that girl go?! This time you went to fight, you asked for it, everything is destined Yes! I think there is something wrong with your right hand this time, it’s a good thing, let you be sober!”
"You are luckier than others, because your father and I have made money, and I am only your son, and all the money will be yours in the future. But if you are so cowardly, don't delay anyone, just stay at home and wait to die!"
How long does it take for a boy to grow from a man
Maybe for a lifetime.
Maybe as long as a paragraph of time.
From that day on, Xie Ci insisted on going to the hospital for rehabilitation.
In fact, many people think that if their tendons are broken, there is no hope, and they are disabled. In fact, this is not the case at all. As long as you keep exercising and applying hot compresses every day, your hands will probably get better slowly and gradually.
He broke a few tendons in his hands, none of which were main nerves, and he caught them in time, so he barely recovered well.
After the plaster cast was removed, Xie Ci insisted on lifting dumbbells and doing push-ups every day.
Every time the bone hurts, the pain is so painful that the heart is constricted. But every time he thought of the disappointed look in Xu You's eyes when he left, he gritted his teeth and continued to persevere.
When I first started writing with a pen, it was difficult to write a single word because of the pain and trembling.
Later, I could write a hundred characters.
Seeing his appearance, Xie Tianyun silently helped him complete the admission procedures. However, because he had just undergone surgery, his recovery was not complete. Xie Ci still took a year off from school to recuperate at home.
Once Song Yifan came to Xie Ci's house to look for him. Song Yifan sat on the chair and suddenly mentioned Xu You.
He pondered for a while before opening his mouth, "I met Xu You a few days ago."
“…….”
Xie Ci nodded, eyes drooping. But Song Yifan knew that his heart was far from as peaceful as it appeared on the surface.
"Xu You's grades are pretty good now, and she didn't talk to anyone about it." Song Yifan smiled, "She also asked me, how are you doing?"
Xie Ci was taken aback for a moment, and finally couldn't help asking, "What did you say?!"
"I said you're fine now, so don't worry her. After all, her grades are so good, don't delay, right?"
Xie Ci nodded first, then spoke after thinking for a while, "Then, what else did you say about me?"
Seeing his anxious look, Song Yifan punched him, "Fuck, I'm so excited, you didn't say anything, just left after class."
"Don't tell her about me first, wait until I'm better. Don't affect Xu You's study." Xie Ci confessed.
Song Yifan sneered, "I know."
Before leaving, Xie Ci was still worried, and told him, "If someone bullies Xu You at school, don't just watch him, remember to help me get it back, or come to me."
Xie Ci looked ruthless.
Song Yifan laughed, "Who dares to bully you, you are the bully of No. 1 Middle School."
"Fuck. You. Mom, get out." Xie Ci cursed with a smile.
The day Xu You finished the college entrance examination was also the day Xie Ci went back to school.
He arrived in a new class, kept a low profile, and always had a stack of new books on his desk.
Even the classmates were surprised that such a handsome boy turned out to be a nerd.
No one would have thought that he was the famous Xie Ci from No. 1 Middle School.
After the results of the college entrance examination came out, No. 1 Middle School celebrated with joy. Xu You became the champion of science in the city.
Xie Ci secretly skipped a day of class and went to watch that year's graduation ceremony. Along the way, many people knew him and greeted him. Xie Ci turned a deaf ear and kept looking at her standing on the flag raising platform.
Two months of summer vacation passed by.
Xie Ci knew that Xu You went to a university in the south, but neither Tsinghua University nor Peking University.
Occasionally he would think of her, and would be in a daze for half an hour.
Every time there is a monthly vacation, Xie Ci will book a plane ticket to fly to Xu You's city. Then he stood at the gate of the school and sneaked into the crowd, hoping to catch a glimpse of her. Sometimes if you are lucky, you can see her. Sometimes with bad luck, you can't touch it by standing there for hours.
Xie Ci was inconvenient with his right hand, so he began to practice writing with his left hand. My deskmate always thought he was left-handed.
He has a good mind, although he basically has zero foundation. But in the third year of senior high school, he started from the most basic learning, and when it came to the unified examination in April of the second year, Xie Ci passed the line drawn by the city for the first time.
When the friends around him came back to see him, everyone was overjoyed. When eating and drinking, they are all blowing, and there will be a student among them soon.
Li Jieyi drank too much, and said with a big tongue: "When our young master Xie is admitted to university, we must call back all the people from the former No. 1 Middle School, and book a hotel to sing and sing for three days and three nights!"
Everyone was laughing, even Xie Ci felt that the light was right in front of him.
Xie Tianyun had an accident on June 6th.
On the night before the college entrance examination, there was a car accident on the way to the airport. The driver died on the spot, and Xie Tianyun was sent to the hospital for emergency treatment.
The hospital directly contacted Xie Ci, who was still in school for the last evening self-study at that time.
Xie Ci rushed over all the way, his mind was blank, and his forehead was constantly sweating.
After finally arriving at the hospital, someone saw him in a daze, and came over and said, "You are Xie Tianyun's son, right? He is in the No. 1 emergency room. He just had a serious car accident and is being rescued now."
Everything around is silenced.
The sound of hurried and chaotic footsteps passed in front of him. Xie Ci sat on the ground exhausted, his chaotic thoughts kept mixing together. The woman Xie Tianyun had just found also arrived.
Just after listening to someone say a sentence or two, I became too emotional and passed out. There was another rush, screaming and crying. Xie Ci remained expressionless and stood guard at the door of the emergency room.
Until two o'clock in the morning, the lights in the operating room went out. The door opened, and the doctor took off his mask and came out.
"Hey, go sign something and contact the funeral home." Someone came over to him and said.
After a long time.
It was only when Xie Ci remembered that he was about to cry, it was his first taste of losing a loved one. That feeling will never be forgotten.
The white cloth was lifted, revealing Xie Tianyun's lifeless face. His body was wiped clean, and his body had already lost its temperature and became stiff.
"-dad."
Xie Ci knelt on the ground, sobbing and weeping.
Then he couldn't hold on anymore and shut himself up at home for two months.
Xie Tianyun left a lot of property, but because of the accident of his death, he didn't have time to make a will. Relatives hired a lawyer for Xie Ci and filed a lawsuit against his mistress at the time.
But he doesn't know how to do business, Xie Bi's uncle took over the business.
Xie Dongbo said to Xie Ci at the time: "Uncle will help you manage the company, but the company has always been yours. Even if you have no ability in the future, uncle will support you for your father for the rest of your life."
No matter what happens, life must go on.
This time, Xie Ci took a long time to accept this reality. In the first two years, Xie Ci actually doesn't have much memory. He didn't go to college, so Xie Dongbo sent him to learn how to modify and install cars.
He is amazingly gifted in this area and always has the most accurate judgment on the performance of ordinary cars.
Then, Xie Dongbo paid for him to set up a car repair shop, and used his connections to get them to cooperate with many supercar clubs.
Xie Ci can make money on his own, and has new friends and even a new life. But he had already lost his anger, and he was getting more and more depressed.
It will take two years to get out of the shadow of losing a loved one and go to Shanghai to open a garage.
Xie Ci found that he still couldn't control himself to find Xu You. Affection is always unconscious, and when he found out, Xu You was getting farther and farther away from him.
After another year, Xie Ci wanted to find Xu You, anyway, he could chase her again. In his hand, he held the math paper that Xu You had left for him at that time, as well as his April unified examination results.
He keeps them all, hiding them where no one can find them.
It seemed that their school was having a school celebration that day, there were many people on the road, and everywhere on the campus was extremely lively.
Xie Ci didn't know how to inquire about Xu You, so he grabbed a random person and asked, "Do you know Xu You?"
He had a lot of things ready to say in his heart.
Walking to a national flag square, someone finally told him, "Xu You, clean up the venue over there."
Xie Ci followed the direction he pointed and walked over happily.
About ten meters away, I finally saw the person I was thinking about day and night. She turned her back to him, lowered her head, bent over and cleaned with a broom.
Xie Ci repeated on the spot, hesitating several times. When he was about to go up, he saw a boy next to him coming with a wet tissue. He handed it over, picked up a bottle of water on the table, unscrewed it, and handed it to Xu You. The boy had a gentle smile on his face, and he didn't know what to say in Xu You's ear.
The two were talking and laughing, and they looked like a good match.
Xie Ci couldn't see Xu You's expression, but it didn't matter.
He didn't think it mattered anymore.
Too.
I don't know what I've been fantasizing about for so long. Xu You already had a better one, so his thanks are nothing. She is so outstanding, she looked down on him when she was in high school, and she relied on Xie Ci to stalk him. What's more, now that he is just a car mechanic who dropped out of high school, Xu You probably looks down on him even more.
There is a trash can next to it, Xie Ci throws the results of the April exam into it.
When it was the turn of the math paper.
Xie Ci's hand paused, but he still didn't feel ruthless. Turn around and leave their school.
It's like something was thrown away.
That time was also the closest he was to Xu You.
Xie Ci has tried to forget her in the past few years.
But there was nothing I could do. I don't know what kind of demon I was possessed by, but I just couldn't forget it. He had already decided not to go to her that time, but he couldn't help but went to see her secretly after a while. The more I look at it, the more I can't forget it.
The only thing Xie Ci can control is not to appear in front of her and try not to disturb her life.
Until the day she showed up at her garage.
At that moment, he even thought he was dreaming.
It's as if sanity doesn't exist. He was really unwilling to just hide like that.
As soon as I meet the person I miss day and night, the person who can only hide and peek in the dark, suddenly appears in front of me. It felt like an addiction.
The intellect cannot always control the body.
---
When talking about all this, Xie Ci didn't dare to look at Xu You's expression.
He had a fever and was still stuck in memory, still a little dazed, "I thought I could find you if I studied hard."
"Xu Yo... I'm sorry."
"I still didn't go to you later, I didn't know you would be so sad."
Thank you and said: "Xu You, I tried my best, but I have lost the score sheet..."
He actually tried.
so.
Since you like it, why do you not try again when the opportunity comes.
"Don't be disappointed in me. I said I wanted to be your friend, but I haven't finished. I want to be your boyfriend and girlfriend."
Xie Ci plucked up the courage to look up.
She found Xu You watching him quietly.
Already burst into tears.