Tong Man didn't know where she was going, she just felt that staying in the same place with Tan Rui made her feel suffocated. In fact, she had already turned love into deep-seated pain, and that pain was deeply buried in her heart. She thought she hid it deep, but even a cold body would still trigger the pain again.
She casually turned into a bar that looked very lively, and someone came up to strike up a conversation with her, but she didn't refuse.
But, even a man's body temperature is only temporary. There is no way to relieve the coldness emanating from the depths of the soul.
After she got dressed, she turned and left the hotel. On the street, she met Tan Rui who had buttoned her clothes wrong. He grabbed her and growled: "Where did you go?!"
Tong Man took his hand away, and continued to walk forward as if he hadn't seen him. Tan Rui chased after him, as if a little out of breath: "Are you listening to me? You—"
"Hey, miss!"
Tong Man looked back, it was the man who had a one-night stand with her - if only a few hours of physical entanglement could be called a one-night stand. She looked at the man expressionlessly, but Tan Rui looked at her and then at the man. The man was a little embarrassed when he saw Tan Rui, and asked Tong Man: "Do you have a boyfriend?"
Tong Man shook his head.
The man suddenly laughed again, shook the mobile phone he had been holding in his hand and asked Tong Man: "Are you interested in leaving a call for each other? We can meet again in the future, like today...you understand."
Tong Man waved her hands: "No need."
After speaking, she took Tan Rui's hand off her wrist and continued on her way home. The rejected man is very gentlemanly. One-night stand is all about your love and my willingness. If both parties are willing, it is not impossible to develop into long-term friends with benefits. But from the current point of view, although he is very satisfied with Tong Man, Tong Man has no interest in him.
Tan Rui stood there for more than a minute before he realized what the two of them were doing. He was so angry that he couldn't believe that Tong Man was ruining herself like this. He chased after him angrily, and grabbed Tong Man's shoulders: "Stop! Explain to me clearly! What's going on?!"
"Is it hard to understand?" Tong Man glanced at him. "It's just a one-night stand."
"How could you do this to yourself?! Where's your pride? Your—"
"You have a girlfriend and you have sex with me, you have no right to blame me." Tong Man's body began to tremble slightly again, and she couldn't understand why it was so cold? She stretched out her hand and pushed Tan Rui, who was in front of her, but it was too high to move, so she had no choice but to walk around him.
Tan Rui was stunned for a while, Tong Man's words seemed to hit a certain place in his heart. Now he himself doesn't know why he was bewitched by Tong Man, and even slept with Tong Man. Perhaps a person can deceive himself and others, but the body's reaction is unavoidable. He still misses Tong Man's body—if it's just pure guilt, then it's impossible, isn't it
Tan Rui closed his eyes, he felt very confused, he needed to think about it. When he regained consciousness and wanted to chase Tong Man, Tong Man's figure had long since disappeared from his sight.
With no car or money, and nothing on her body, Tong Man walked aimlessly, her eyes blurred, and everything around her was very familiar. She was very moved because she finally had a family and a husband who loved and cared for her. There will be a lovely child in the future. But then there was nothing, it was just a self-righteous dream, in which she was the only one indulging in it, and everyone else was watching, smiling, and watching with cold eyes. They laughed when she broke free from her dream.
Tong Man was tired from walking, she saw a park not far away, so she went in and found a bench to sit down and rest. She... looked around with dazed eyes, and was suddenly attracted by a change in the grass not far away.
Tong Man is not a very curious person, but the voice in her heart tells her that she must take a look.
So she followed the calling deep in her heart and walked over, her steps were very light, the people inside may or may not have heard it, but that doesn't matter. Because Tong Man only saw dismembered corpses scattered around the lawn horribly, the most frightening thing was that the person seemed not dead yet, the man opened his mouth and stared at Tong Man, seeming a little surprised , but was pleasantly surprised. If you carefully identify the mouth shape, it should be saying please help me.
Tong Man stood there watching for a while, then turned and left.
The next day, she saw the headline in bold and bold on the social edition: Dismembered corpses found in the park, the dead suffered horrific torture during their lifetime! ! ! Also with three exclamation points. Tong Man's monthly salary is not much, and she basically spends nothing except electricity bills, so she spends it all on subscribing to newspapers. She would order a copy of any newspaper, and she might not necessarily read it, but she just wanted to.
Then she would throw away the mountain of newspapers she had accumulated.
After that day, Tan Rui didn't come again, and Tong Man didn't want him to come either. In all fairness, she still loves him, her heart is still beating when she sees him, but Tong Man can't understand why Tan Rui insists on getting her forgiveness, she will never forgive them, and they don't need her forgive.
Really, she can't blame Tan Rui for anything. It was a fair deal at all. She thought it was a good marriage because she was so affectionate, so she wanted to manage it. Tan Rui respected her very much and didn't tell her that her parents took his money and sold her—no, it was "marrying" and married Tan Rui. Although Tongman didn't see a dime of the money, but the fact is here.
The sad thing is that Tan Rui wanted to marry her because she looked very similar to Yan Lan. His beloved woman left him, so he was so sad that he didn't know what to do, and accidentally saw her who looked like her. On the one hand, he wanted to find comfort, and on the other hand, he wanted to make himself obsessed with forgetting about Yan Lan, so he came to discuss with her parents about marrying her.
From the beginning to the end, no one asked Tong Man anything, but Tong Man agreed without thinking, because she knew about Tan Rui's existence a long time ago and had a crush on him. She never dreamed that her dream would come true one day, so she couldn't see that under this beautiful paradise on earth was the Shura hell filled with bones.
She puts herself in this horrible relationship and ridiculously wants a happy ending. She hopes that her parents can treat her better besides loving her younger brother, and that Tan Rui can like her more - she doesn't know that she will become like this in the future.
At that time, I was full of kindness to the world, full of confidence in myself, and longing for the future married life, but I was beaten to the bone, and I was unwilling to let go.
Even if she knows that Yan Lan is back, even if she knows that Tan Rui's heart is no longer with her - no, Tan Rui's heart has never been with her. All she has to do is to return Tan Rui to Yan Lan—isn't it such a simple thing? But Tong Man couldn't bear it.
The consequence of her reluctance is that Tan Rui helped her to give up.
Tong Man will never forget that late night two years ago. On the way back from their natal home, Yan Lan learned that Tan Rui was going to cut her wrists and commit suicide. Tan Rui got the news on the way, but she didn't dare to tell Tong Man the truth, so she asked her to get out of the car and take a taxi by herself. Go back and say that the company has a big case that went wrong.
Tan Rui didn't know her at all, so he didn't know that her hearing was terribly good. In the passenger seat, she could hear clearly.
Then she got out of the car and he drove away.
Maybe after realizing that she didn't come home, he went back to look for her, but it was too late, and she was no longer the Tong Man she used to be. The Tong Man who was able to dig out his heart and give it to Tan Rui died completely that night, and was replaced by Tong Man with a stagnant heart.
How can one person do this for another? From the beginning to the end, she was a complete cannon fodder, as if her appearance was just to mediate the relationship between Tan Rui and Yan Lan. The more she didn't leave Tan Rui, the more others felt that Tan Rui's love for Lan was stronger than that of Jin Jian, and she... And she was the one who coveted Tan Rui and occupied the position of Tan Rui's wife.
Tong Man has been reflecting on her mistakes for a long time, and she feels that she was wrong from the very beginning. She shouldn't be so stupid that she didn't discover the clues in life, and she shouldn't be so stupid that she wouldn't face the reality even when Tan Rui occasionally called her wrong name.
In fact, he thought he understood her, and the things he thought she liked were not what she liked, but what Yan Lan liked. They have similar faces, so it is logical for her to be the most perfect stand-in in the world.
She thought he liked dignified and gentle women - that was not the case, what Tan Rui liked was Yan Lan, not Yan Lan's type of woman.
Tong Man hugged herself tightly, no one in the world could give her warmth, no one.
Before she knew it, she fell asleep on the sofa again. In her sleep, it was pitch black, only the sound of blood flowing. The soul rests peacefully on the land, she feels as if she is flying, higher and higher, higher and higher, until she reaches the sky, looks down through the clouds, sees so many people are happy, and then in the darkness is her own soft sob .
Tong Man was awakened by a doorbell. She put on her slippers slowly and opened the door.
Outside the door is Yan Lan.
She was holding a bouquet of flowers in her arms, and was wearing a white woolen coat. Even if they had similar faces, no one would mistake the two of them. Especially now that Tong Man is wrapped up like a bear, her face is pale and her hair is disheveled, while Yan Lan is graceful, they don't look alike at all, right
"Uh... I came here uninvited, I wonder if I've disturbed you?" Yan Lan asked nervously.
Her voice is also nice, soft and gentle.
Tong Man opened the door casually, Yan Lan came in with flowers in her arms, and said nervously: "I don't know what flowers you like, so I bought a lily... are you okay?"
She looked at the living room, there were piles of newspapers, an air conditioner, and a sofa, but there was nothing else. There is no telephone, no TV, and no entertainment facilities. It seems that Tong Man lives here with the air.
Yan Lan bit her lip and said to Tong Man: "I want to apologize to you..."
"Apologize?" Tong Man shook her head. "Nothing to apologize for."
"Tan Rui and I went too far." Yan Lan looked at Tong Man sincerely, "I really hope you can forgive us, otherwise we can't be together at all, we, none of us can get out of our hearts. Dao Kaner..."
Tong Man knelt on the sofa and wrapped herself up again with the quilt: "You won, that's why you feel guilty. If I'm still with Tan Rui, you can only wish to kill me."
"I haven't thought about it that way—" Yan Lan hastily defended.
"Pity, guilt, these are things that only winners have." Tong Man said sternly. "If you're here to say this, there's no need for it. I don't intend to ask you anything."
Yan Lan opened her mouth, and it was obvious that Tong Man didn't really want to hear her talk, so she closed her mouth in embarrassment, and was about to get up to say goodbye and leave, but Tan Rui came in with a plastic bag. The two of them met in Tong Man's territory, and they both thought it was incredible.
"Why are you here?"
"Why are you here?"
The two asked in unison, only to feel guilty and embarrassed after asking. It turned out that the two of them, one said that there was something urgent to deal with today, and the other said that they had to work overtime, so they both postponed dinner, but in the end, all they wanted was to find Tong Man!
Also happened to meet!
Wrapped in a quilt, Tong Man watched the two meet, her eyes were flat, without any emotion.
"Uh, the law and order in this neighborhood is not very good recently. There was a murder case in a small park not far away a few days ago. I don't think it's safe for Tong Man to live here alone, so I want to ask someone to help her install a set of monitoring equipment. " Tan Rui first explained, "What about you? What are you doing here?"
"I... just want to talk to Tong Man, and I'm also worried about her mental state." Yan Lan said, walked up to Tan Rui, and took one of his arms, but Tan Rui was a little stiff at the moment, he Didn't respond to her or look at her, like - dare not.
Tong Man listened to the two of them talking, didn't laugh or answer, and said after a while: "You can go, I don't need you to worry about my affairs."
"How can we ignore your affairs?" Yan Lan was impatient, "We made you into this state, no matter what, I can't just watch you degenerate—"
who fell? Tong Man thought. She didn't fall, she just tried to accept her own fate and live, is there something wrong with that
"Okay, stop talking." Tan Rui tugged at Yan Lan's hand, put the plastic bag in front of Tong Man, told her that it contained food, let her eat it while it was hot, and then joined hands with Yan Lan left.
You see, they are all like that, in her life, coming and going as they please, as if she will always stand quietly and serve them. Tong Man looked at the bag in front of her coldly, she didn't have the urge to eat, but hid her head and continued to sleep.
Tan Rui needs a job, and Yan Lan also needs a job, neither of them can come to her anytime, anywhere, so Tong Man spent a few days of quietness, during which the security company came to install surveillance cameras for her, and she closed the door No, it's like you didn't hear it. Later, no matter whether it was Tan Rui or Yan Lan who came, she pretended not to know, did not open the door and did not respond, and did not answer the phone when it rang. Tong Man really doesn't understand what these two people want, is it okay if she wants her to tell them
Maybe, maybe she used to be able to say it, but now she won't. Since we don't owe each other, there is no sorry and it doesn't matter. That's it, if you want to leave, just turn around and walk away, you don't need to tell me, and you don't need to ask for my forgiveness. Because as long as I still love you for one day, I will never be able to forgive you.
The cold winter gradually passed, and Tong Man waited until spring.
In the season of recovery of all things, the willow trees on the street sprouted buds, the grass was green, and everything seemed so vibrant. Everyone on the street is busy with life, everyone is alive and well, and everyone is not cold. When the spring sun shines on the body, it is even less cold. When men and women on the street are all wearing spring clothes, Tong Man is still wrapped in a thick down jacket. She was surprisingly afraid of the cold, but she never said why.
One day Tong Man's cell phone rang, she looked at the number on it, it was her mother calling, so she picked it up, the mother who never contacted her took the initiative to find her, of course not because she missed her or worried about her, but because She still has some use value.
Tong's mother was crying and telling Tong Man that her younger brother had made a female classmate's stomach big at school, and the family of the female classmate came to their house to make trouble and insisted on making them pay for it. For the sake of their son's reputation, Tong's mother and Tong's father naturally wanted to chat privately, otherwise it would be unsightly for both of them to start a lawsuit, but the other party opened his mouth and asked for 700,000 hush money!
Tong Man said: "Aren't you rich? Didn't Tan Rui give you one million bride price two years ago, and just use it to compensate others."
The Tong mother immediately retorted: "How can I do that? I have already saved in the bank to die!"
"What do you want?"
"Go and find Tan Rui again. Didn't he give you alimony after you divorced? Go and ask him for more, and pay the money to your brother, and add the rest to our own, which is just right. It can be enough for him to buy a house in City A! You don’t know, the two years of holidays have been going up and up again and again, what kind of good house can one million buy? It’s too difficult to be closer to the city center and have better conditions Already!"
Tong Man thought to herself, Tan Rui and I haven't divorced yet, how can I go to someone to ask for alimony? But he said: "He won't give me money, he has a very good girlfriend now."
When the Tong mother on the other end of the phone heard it, she immediately became angry: "Tell me about you, what's the use of you? You couldn't do things when you were young, and you weren't diligent. You finally got a good university. Just get married, get married, forget it, still can't catch a man's heart! If you can't catch a man's heart, you ask for more money! You don't even have money! Give me Tan Rui's number, and I'll tell him! "
Tong Man hung up the phone directly, then stood in a daze. When she was very young, she did all the housework, and my younger brother never reached out. Today, my younger brother can't even use the water heater! She originally planned to find a job after graduating from university, but Tong's mother directly accepted Tan Rui's money to let her get married, but now from Tong's mother's words, it seems that Tong Man deserved everything!
She has begun to wonder what is right and what is wrong. Who is right and who is wrong
Such was her fate.
Tong Man didn't answer the phone calls from home. At first they called a lot, but then they didn't call much, and Tong Man didn't want to know what happened to them. Not long after, Tan Rui came to her and found that she had lost weight again and said, "Did you not eat on time again?"
Tong Man ignored him, but saw that his mobile phone was on. Tan Rui was holding it in his hand at the time, but he didn't answer it, but hung up immediately, and then looked at Tong Man with a guilty expression, as if he was afraid of being caught by her. Know who's calling. Tong Man asked suddenly: "Did my mother call you?"
Tan Rui didn't have time to react for a while, Tong Man immediately understood: "Ask you for money? How much?"
Tan Rui's lips moved: "Two million."
Tong Man burst out laughing, she really found it ridiculous and pathetic, she laughed and burst into tears, "Two million, so my alimony is so much, that's all, you brought the divorce agreement here I'll sign it for you, and you can leave after signing, and don't give them any more money, it's a bottomless pit, and you will never be satisfied."
"We cannot divorce for the time being."
"What?" Tong Man froze for a moment.
"I..." Tan Rui seemed a little embarrassed, "I don't know."
"Do not know what is this?"
Tan Rui shook his head and didn't speak. Those unspeakable feelings and doubts took root in his heart, from the night when he couldn't refuse Tong Man, from the day he saw Tong Man having a relationship with other men, these emotions were strange and familiar - once only in It happened to Yan Lan.
In the end, he tentatively asked: "You said, is it possible for a person to fall in love with two people at the same time?"
Hearing this, Tong Man seemed to hear some big joke: "If this is the case, it is not appropriate for you to use love. You should ask, is it possible for a person to have desires for two people at the same time? That is not love .”
"It's greed."
After finishing speaking, Tong Man muttered softly: "Marry a red rose, and over time, the red one will become a smear of mosquito blood on the wall, and the white one will still be 'moonlight in front of the bed'; if you marry a white rose, the white one will become your clothes." A grain of sticky rice on the top, but the red one is a cinnabar mole on the heart." (Note)
Then she asked, "It doesn't matter at all whether you like the red rose or the white rose, whichever one you lose is your favorite."
"No, that's not the case..."
Tong Man watched him stand up hastily and run away, reached out and grabbed Tan Rui's trousers: "Don't give them money."
"What?"
"Don't give them any more money, and if you have, please take it back immediately. Don't tell them that we are not divorced, otherwise they will only follow me." Tong Man requested. "If you really feel sorry for me, please stop meddling in my family's affairs."
Tan Rui stood there without speaking for a while.