Chi Junyan had a dream.
In the dream he was crying.
He seemed to be looking at it from thousands of miles away, and faintly wanted to laugh. He never cried, he would rather bleed than be weak and cry.
But he suddenly clutched his chest weakly, and the dull pain from there made him unbearable. There seemed to be pointing voices around him, as if there were attacks, insults, ridicule, ridicule, and countless words that made him feel uncomfortable. Almost collapsed.
It hurts so much, I really want to cry.
He woke up from the dream, brushed his hair irritably, looked at Chi Lu who was sleeping soundly beside him, tried the corner of the quilt, and then got out of bed.
He never smoked or drank alcohol. One was because he was not good at it, and the other was because he was worried that it would be bad for children. But now, Chi Junyan is extremely eager to have a bottle of wine or a cigarette. In many cases, the pain cannot be vented, and we can only rely on these paralyzed nerves.
He stretched himself and leaned against the floor-to-ceiling windows until dawn, when the little girl struggled and squinted her eyes and woke up drowsily, he collected all his thoughts.
That strange dream is not from these worlds. Chi Junyan had reason to think that it was his own life. It's just that he couldn't remember what he saw in the dream anyway, only that kind of despair made his heart stop suddenly, and even when he was awake, he still had a haze in his heart. He didn't plan to go back at first, even if he died in this world and failed the mission, it would be fine, but this dream woke Chi Junyan again, he wanted to go back, and the angel couldn't stop him.
He thought back to every second in Wangchuan, the feeling of being on the verge of collapse was very terrifying, he always felt that he was going to die soon, but when he opened his eyes, there were still countless ghosts around him.
Nothing is over, nothing is ever over.
Chi Lu obediently washed up by herself and came to the kitchen. She tilted her head and noticed that something was wrong with her father, so she reminded: "Dad, egg..."
Chi Junyan came back to his senses and found that the eggs in the frying pan had burnt and gave off an unpleasant smell. He hurriedly opened the window to ventilate, and asked Chi Lu to sit on a chair and wait, so as not to come in, lest the oil smoke would get on her clothes. I poured the burnt fried egg into the trash can again, and took another one. This time there was no accident, and I fried it into a heart shape with a mold and sent it to the table.
The little girl was already hungry, she waved her little hands and smiled sweetly, "Daddy is amazing."
"What's so great?" Chi Junyan asked casually.
"The children all said that their father can't cook, but my father can, so my father is the best." The little girl opened her mouth and said sweet words as if she didn't want money. This flattering Chi Junyan felt refreshed all over, pinched his face habitually, and asked her: "Drink the milk."
The older Chi Lu grows up, the less she likes to drink milk, but since her father asks her, she will reluctantly drink it up. After drinking it, he quickly ate something else to taste it. Chi Junyan couldn't help laughing at that expression as if he had drunk poison: "Is it that bad?"
"It's hard to drink!" Chi Lu pinched her nose and wrinkled her face. "Advertising says milk is from cows, I'm human, I don't want to drink cow's milk!"
Chi Junyan was amused by her, and he explained it again, and Chi Lu agreed with a bitter face that he would have a drink every day in the future.
Sending Chi Lu to school, Chi Junyan came back and started working again. Although he didn't advertise, he was charged for writing articles. Why should this kind of hard work be free? I never dislike myself for having more money. If he left in the future, Chi Lu would be able to live better if he had more money.
Chi Junyan, who was worried that one day he would be hacked to death by Chi Lu in his sleep, had already made a will. No matter how he died, the final heir was Chi Lu, yes, and she was the only one.
Time passed slowly, and soon, Chi Lu was already twelve years old, and was about to enter junior high school after graduating from the sixth grade of elementary school. To Chi Junyan's relief, he didn't have to worry about Chi Lu's grades at all. Big, but smart and hardworking, every semester is the first in the age.
The same as when I was alive.
When he was alive... Chi Junyan was in a daze, and Chi Lu threw himself on his back before realizing it, and directly picked up the little girl: "Why are you back before school time?"
"School is over after the exam. I came back by bus with my classmates."
Well, in addition to being smart and hardworking, Chi Junyan has also been cultivating Chi Lu's independent ability. He really doesn't know when he will be the dog, so he has to treat every tomorrow as his last day. Relying on him, but very sensible and obedient, even if he is not around, it is okay to take care of himself. For Chi Junyan, this is enough.
"Are you hungry?"
"No, I ate skewers with my classmates on the way back." Chi Lu immediately covered her mouth and looked at Chi Junyan pitifully, "Dad... I just ate two, really. Yes, just two." Afraid that Chi Junyan would not believe it, he deliberately stretched out two fingers, expressing that he "really" only ate two.
Chi Junyan looked at her helplessly: "This is not an example."
"Thank you dad!" One second he was still pitiful, and the next second he cheered and kissed Chi Junyan on the face. Chi Junyan was typing, and let her hang on him like a koala, neither annoying nor heavy. When Chi Lu grew up, he stopped posting photos on Weibo, so as not to be recognized by others.
But something happened that Chi Junyan never expected. He was thinking about when the reborn Chi Lu would appear every day, but he forgot another thing until Chi Lu, who was in the first grade of junior high school, came home from school one day. He showed a very strange expression, looking at this and that, Chi Junyan, who was cooking, looked strange: "What are you looking at?"
"dad… "
This cry was malicious, Chi Junyan grabbed the kitchen knife tightly: "What are you doing?" Could it be the reborn Chi Lu
The next second, Chi Lu immediately smiled: "Dad, can you tell me about your mother?"
Mom... If it wasn't for Chi Luti, Chi Junyan would have forgotten that Chi Lu was born from the belly of the real Chi Junyan's girlfriend, oh... yes, yes, Chi Lu has a mother! Only then did he realize: "What do you ask her for?" The little girl never asked her mother since she was a child, never asked, and Chi Junyan never thought of explaining, how to explain? A one-night stand, and the other party is pregnant, knowing that he has money and deliberately delaying it until he can't get rid of it, come to ask for money
Isn't it embarrassing to say it
"A woman came to me today, and she said it was my mother."
"What?!" Chi Junyan frowned, he was very good-looking, he didn't look old after all these years, and he was good at dressing, so he looked young and handsome. "What's her purpose?"
"I think... she may indeed be my mother, she looks quite similar to me." Chi Lu touched her face, "But she is not as beautiful as me, who told me that half of my genes come from my great father?"
With such a sweet mouth, Chi Junyan raised his eyebrows: "And then?"
"Then she asked me if I wanted a mother and a happy family." Chi Lu smacked her lips, "I think she might want to get back together with you, because I asked, and she's not married yet."
Chi Junyan thought about it in his heart. When Chi Lu was born, the other party was seventeen years old, and now Chi Lu is twelve years old. The other party... "Isn't it normal to be unmarried at the age of twenty-nine? What if she just wants to see you?"
"Father, aren't you afraid that she will fight with you for custody?" Chi Lu pouted. "I don't want to recognize my mother, and she didn't bring me up."
Chi Junyan comforted: "Don't worry, she will not leave your guardianship. If she wants to see you, as long as you are willing, otherwise I will not let her approach you."
Chi Lu smiled immediately: "Thank you, Dad!"
Because she had just finished the exam, she could relax, so according to Chi Lu's request, Chi Junyan was going to take her to the night market and allow her to eat a little junk food. As a result, as soon as the father and daughter left the community, they saw a woman walking back and forth at the door. They looked at each other, turned around and walked back at the same time, but it was too late. The other party found them and immediately shouted: "Chi Junyan! Hold on!" Chi Junyan!"
Sigh... "If I had known, I wouldn't have gone out." Chi Lu muttered, then looked up at her biological mother. She is not a fool. You can tell at a glance whether others are really good to you or not. This woman is saying that she misses herself, but her eyes are completely different from her father's. She has no emotion at all. She doesn't believe that the other party is real Think of her daughter.
I really thought, why haven't I seen her once in twelve years? They never moved.
"Hello."
The woman was a little dumbfounded, mainly because she didn't dare to recognize Chi Junyan. The Chi Junyan who was with her back then was a sleazy bastard with nothing but money, but standing in front of her was this man who looked at most twenty-five Sixth, white T-shirt and jeans, they look so good-looking, and besides being young, they also have the maturity accumulated over the years, which is really fascinating.
On the other hand, I am twenty-nine, and I am not living well at all. My skin is rough and I have crow's feet in the corners of my eyes. Standing in front of this father and daughter, I feel an indescribable sense of embarrassment. The woman lowered her head embarrassingly, regretting in her heart, if she hadn't been obsessed with getting pregnant for money, or if she hadn't used the child to pay back the money, but stayed with Chi Junyan, now this handsome and elegant man is her husband, beautiful and lovely The girl is her daughter!
It's a pity that there has never been a medicine for regret in the world. No matter how unwilling a woman is, the past cannot be changed. She smiled at Chi Junyan first, and suddenly didn't know how to say what she had planned before coming here. I always feel that no matter how high-sounding reasons I say in front of such a person, I can't hide my despicable and mediocre heart. She licked her lips, and finally only asked: "You, how are you now?"
"fine."
"me… "
"What do you want to say?" Chi Junyan's voice was very gentle. He always had this expression and tone in front of outsiders. He never seemed to be angry or embarrassing. But only he himself knows that his heart is like stagnant water, and he will not tremble for anyone. But in this world, he doesn't care about anyone except Chi Lu.
But even Chi Lu couldn't make him stop.
Chi Lu was afraid that Chi Junyan would suffer. After all, in her memory, her father was the kind of gentle and easy-going old man. This kind of thing that always suffers from losses can no longer be done in the future! So even if the person in front of her is her biological mother, she will never back down.