Fifty-third bowl of soup (5)
"The conditions here are poor, not as good as in the palace, and the princess may be wronged."
The princess was a little shy: "It's okay." As long as she can see Xie Ze, it's okay to let her not eat.
Lu Ling voluntarily went over to help. The princess wanted to intervene, but she didn't help. In the end, she had to sit on the threshold and watch the two big men busy there. Xie Ze didn't have many ingredients, and the meals he made were also very crude. The princess was used to delicacies from mountains and seas. It was the first time she had such a rough meal, so she couldn't get used to it, but she still forced herself to bite the bullet and swallowed. Look, Lu Ling has already gone to tidy up the house, she must be staying here tonight, Xie Ze is standing not far from her.
She couldn't swallow after eating a little bit, the taste is generally the same thing, and more importantly, she lost her appetite when she saw Xie Ze's figure. Coming all the way to this small town, she was spoiled and spoiled, and she suffered a lot, but if Xie Ze could give her a little tenderness, even just a little—she wouldn't be so sad.
He has always rejected people thousands of miles away, neither flattering her nor flattering her, and at the same time, he doesn't like her either.
The princess didn't understand why, what's wrong with her? Everyone else wanted to be a son-in-law, but this Xie Ze regarded her as a scourge, and wanted to run away when he saw her, let alone be with her.
Lu Ling tidied up the house, and the princess slept in it at night, and then he went out to arrange dinner for other soldiers, and took advantage of the opportunity to sleep outside, making things easy. Fortunately, there were not many people who came, more than 20 people, otherwise it would be difficult to arrange.
At night, the princess sleeps in the house, so Xie Ze doesn't stay there. The princess was lying in this dilapidated mud house, feeling uncomfortable. How could it compare with her bedroom, it was dark and dilapidated, with mottled walls, and it was really scary to sleep alone in the house. She thought about it, and said to Lu Ling who was guarding her outside: "Go and call the general to this princess."
Lu Ling hesitated for a moment: "Princess, it stands to reason that the subordinates should be keeping watch."
The princess lost her temper savagely: "If you are told to go, then go, where is there so much nonsense!"
Lu Ling had no choice but to go out from the window. Near the door, Xie Ze was sitting there leaning on the door panel. The soldiers outside were all asleep, but his black eyes looked particularly bright in the night. "General, the princess... please go over."
Xie Ze frowned slightly: "I see, sit down and rest for a while."
"yes."
Xie Ze took a few steps to the window and said in a deep voice, "Princess, the end is coming."
"Do you think I'm very bad? Very impersonal, very unruly and difficult to get along with?"
This unreasonable question would have made others panic, but Xie Ze's expression was cold: "The princess is a princess, and she has the ability to be unruly and willful."
The princess bit her lower lip and lay on the bed looking at the roof. There is not even a tent, and from time to time, mud and sand will fall and fall on her body. Knowing that she was going to sleep in his bed, Xie Ze actually took away all his personal belongings, and even ordered someone to rush to the town to buy new sheets and bedding, anyway, he just didn't have any intimate contact with her. Thinking about it, I have liked him for several years, but until now, let alone holding hands, the princess has never even touched Xie Ze's personal belongings.
She sniffed and explained: "...I just want to vent your anger on you today, and I didn't mean to oppress the people on purpose."
Xie Ze squinted his eyes and looked up at the sky. The pitch-black night was dotted with stars. He didn't speak, and didn't give any response.
The princess felt that she was particularly wronged. She was a beautiful daughter of the sky. For such a Xie Ze, she was condescending, but this man was so indifferent from the beginning to the end, how much love could she give him? "... That sweet-scented osmanthus has a greedy personality. With my word of mouth, she can live a long and happy life in the Sima family in the future. Then she will definitely mess up the Sima family. But after a long time, those two people realize that When I don't care about this anymore, Osmanthus is going to suffer. Although these three people are not very good, they are not bad people either. Are you angry that I didn't chop off their heads?"
"The last general is not a person who ignores human life."
The princess was even more sad. She felt that she had paid enough, and even carefully considered and made a decision for him, but this person was always so cold and distant. "Xie Ze, you're an asshole."
Xie Ze remained silent.
She was obviously crying: "Do you think I have to like you? This princess told you that anyone who wants to be a son-in-law can go around the capital ten times!"
Xie Ze's thin lips parted lightly: "Then I wish the princess finds a good husband as soon as possible."
"Xie Ze!" The princess sat up from the bed angrily, just in time to see the tall figure standing in front of the window. The shadow of this man was reflected on the ground by the moonlight. She had fantasized about what it would be like to be hugged by him more than once, but no matter how hot her heart was, there would be a day when she would cool down. "Can you tell me why? Why don't you like me? What's wrong with me? I like you so much, I even begged my father not to grant a marriage, and asked him to respect your opinion. I did this in order to do this, why did you Still don't like me?"
As she expected, Xie Ze didn't respond to her. In fact, if he was not a courtier, the princess believed that this man would not even look at her. The superior conditions she was so proud of couldn't be shown in front of Xie Ze, because he didn't like it at all. "My liking is also limited. This princess is a member of the royal family, and she will not be so humble forever waiting for you to look back at me. So Xie Ze, I just ask you: Can you have a moment to be moved by my heart?"
Xie Ze's answer was simple but firm: "No."
She hugged the quilt and cried like a child.
In fact, Xie Ze didn't understand why he refused to marry the princess, and no one asked him to guard himself. But he really didn't have the idea of starting a family, he couldn't help keeping a distance from every woman who tried to get close to him, and even every late night, he couldn't help but think of another woman.
"I do not understand… "
"Princess doesn't need to understand." Xie Ze whispered. "I have someone in my heart."
The princess cried even harder: "Who is it?" She promised not to kill her!
Xie Ze said flatly, "It's gone."
"… "What's the meaning? She opened her teary eyes, unable to understand what he said.
Xie Ze repeated it again, not sure if he told the princess, or warned himself again: "It's gone. I lost her."
After speaking, he turned and left, leaving the princess alone.
Seeing Xie Ze come back, Lu Ling hurriedly got up to watch the night, but was stopped by Xie Ze: "Lu Ling."
"General."
"You... do you know what liking is?"
Lu Ling was taken aback by the question. "Why does the general ask this?"
"What does the princess like about me?" He muttered to himself, and he couldn't understand the question himself.
Lu Ling couldn't help laughing: "The general is young and promising, he is upright, and he is the princess' savior. Isn't it normal for the princess to like the general?"
"Then why... I don't feel her liking." Xie Ze frowned. "There was a girl who liked me before. I treat her differently than I treat the princess."
"It's not easy. The general naturally likes that girl."
Xie Ze felt as if struck by lightning. "What did you say?"
Lu Ling lowered her head and was still smiling: "That's what it is like to like someone. If it's deep down, even if you see someone better and more beautiful than her, you won't be tempted."
"Listen to what you mean, have you ever liked someone else?"
Lu Ling was a little embarrassed: "Yes, I also have someone I like."
"That person...?" Xie Ze was rarely curious. Lu Ling had been with him for several years, but he had never heard him talk about it.
"It's hard for my subordinates to say, but for that person, my subordinates are willing to make any sacrifices."
Xie Ze waved his hand, and Lu Ling went to watch the night by the window again, leaving him alone sitting in front of the door, lost in thought.
The wind was gentle and the moonlight was not bad. All in all, it was a good night, but Xie Ze was greatly shocked in his heart. To be honest, he always knew that the princess liked him, and when he clearly rejected her, he never thought about anything else, but tonight, he couldn't help thinking, why did he reject the princess
No matter how useless Xie San was before his death, he also wanted to live a good life, and also wanted to marry a daughter-in-law and go home. Don't men think so? So why wouldn't he? The princess likes him, and even the emperor thinks highly of him. It stands to reason that he should nod to be a son-in-law and enjoy all the wealth and glory. Are you afraid of living a bad life
But in the end he just wanted to be alone, without anyone to accompany him.
... He never thought about marrying a wife.
Why
Looking up, Xie Ze saw Lu Ling standing straight in front of the window with a tall and straight figure. He still remembered Lu Ling's tone when he talked about the person he liked. Although it was dark, he could still see the gentle light in Lu Ling's eyes. It's no regrets, it's persistence, and it's not hesitating.
That kind of liking is already love.
Xie Ze felt that his head was in a mess, something was about to come out, he wanted to know, but he didn't want it to come out. He had a hunch that if he could clearly see his heart, he would definitely change.
In that case, with concern, how can he return to his own world with nothing? Even if he no longer remembers what happened, Xie Ze's soul cannot forget the thousands of years of torture at the bottom of the Wangchuan River. He climbed ashore after suffering so much, was it because he failed in success
No one can hinder his footsteps, he wants to go back to that world, find his past, and seek justice.
How has this world ever treated him kindly? Didn't he end up with a tragic death in the end? Xie Ze clutched his chest, he felt that there was something in that place, which gradually became vivid and moving.
But finally he covered it.