Sixty-sixth bowl of soup (4)
Liuli woke up in Ren Wusi's arms. He was still asleep when she opened her eyes. She looked up at him for a while, only to find that his eyes were dark blue, and he didn't know how long he hadn't slept well. When this man was asleep, he was not at all the same as he usually behaved. Liuli was a little distracted, but she seemed to see someone through this person.
She was hugged tightly, even though they were hugging each other to sleep, Ren Wusi was still neatly dressed, he didn't want to show Liuli the scars under his clothes, was it to maintain his appearance, or to protect his heart, then Only he himself knows.
Liuli followed his collar and touched it lightly with her small hand.
His skin is very cool, Ren Wusi's natural body temperature is lower than that of ordinary people, and he is rarely seen sweating at any time, but it is this kind of coolness that makes Liuli feel that this man does not exist in this world.
It's really strange that such a cold man is so warm in his arms.
Her little hand was held by him before touching the scar on Ren Wusi's chest, and then Ren Wusi slowly opened his eyes. Liuli must also admit that he has a pair of very beautiful eyes. If there is no hatred and bondage, these eyes will be Can shine with the sun and the moon in the sky.
He looked at her as if he were looking at a naughty child, but also as if he was looking at a woman he loved. He just felt that holding her in his arms like this without thinking about other things was already the most longing thing in his life.
Before that, he was bewildered by love and dared not reveal his identity, for fear of crying when he saw Liuli, but all he saw in his dream at midnight was his father's blood-stained face, forcing him over and over again to give up his childhood poison. The oath was repeated over and over again. Ren Wusi is also a human being, and he was not born with such a hard-hearted and ruthless heart. On the contrary, he is extremely soft-hearted, but fate does not allow him to be a gentle person.
If he wanted to avenge the Ren family, he had to give up love. In fact, for anyone who bears a bloody feud, such revenge is light. If seventy-eight of your innocent family members were beheaded for public display on the charge of framing, would you feel hatred in your heart? Do you want to smash your enemy into thousands of pieces
Fu Wenshan's crimes are serious, and the evidence of collaborating with the enemy and traitorous country is solid. Ren Wusi has no regrets in exposing all this. If he hadn't fallen in love with Fu Liuli, it would have been fine.
You don't have to be tortured by nightmares day and night, you don't even dare to sleep, you are afraid that when you fall asleep, the faces of your parents and relatives will appear in front of you, questioning why he wanted to spare the life of his enemy.
But it's different now. The two of them settled, Liuli didn't remember anything, she was only about five years old now, clean and spotless, how could he force himself to destroy her again.
He is really tired.
Liuli looked at him quietly, she was not a talkative person, but Ren Wusi's eyes were too soft and sad, which made her ask him involuntarily: "Does it hurt?"
Ren Wusi froze for a moment before realizing that she was talking about his injuries.
Compared with loving her, it doesn't hurt. He even wished it wasn't painful enough, if only the pain in his body could overwhelm the pain in his heart, then he would be able to find a target to divert, so that he wouldn't be tortured like this again. But what to do, he loves Fu Liuli, this cannot be changed, he wished he could turn into the air that cuddles with her, as long as he is not entangled by nightmares, he is willing to do anything.
"It doesn't hurt."
Liuli murmured, "Liar."
She insisted on reaching into Ren Wusi's clothes, but he refused to be ineffective, so she had to touch him. Wherever the tentacles could touch, there was not a piece of intact flesh, but all scars. In order to be able to hurt, Ren Wusi didn't even apply medicine, and let him bleed and leave scars. For him, this was his own punishment.
How bad he was to Liuli, as a member of the Ren family, he couldn't stop, but as someone who admired her, he could punish himself.
"It hurts, I'm afraid of pain." Liuli said softly, not knowing who she was talking about. She also couldn't tell who she was, sometimes she felt that she was Liuli, and sometimes she felt that she was a lonely soul. But according to the true thoughts in her heart, she didn't want to hurt Ren Wusi at all. "Why don't you feel pain?"
She leaned forward and put her little face on his shoulder. Ren Wusi had a pleasant tea-like smell, but now he smelled more of blood, faintly leaking through his clothes, entwining Liuli with him.
This is a love soaked in blood, and it will come to an end one day.
"I want to see."
"Liu Li." Ren Wusi held her restless little hand and coaxed her in a low voice, "Don't move around."
"I want to see it." Liuli was about to cry, she looked pitiful with a slight frown, because she had no memory, she looked more like a child. "Let me see."
Ren Wusi refused again, until her eyes turned red without saying a word, he sighed and said, "It's ugly."
In this world, women have never been the only ones who are willing to be pleasing to themselves. Men will also fear that they are not handsome enough or tall enough when facing a woman they love, and even have scars all over their bodies, which will arouse the disgust of their sweetheart or scare her. Both are bad.
But Liuli is not afraid at all. She slowly took off the clothes on Ren Wusi's body, revealing his strong chest and the old and new scars all over his body.
Some are knife wounds, some are sword wounds, some are burn marks, and some wounds can't even be discerned by Liuli. When Geinren Wusi was in pain, he grabbed whatever was at hand, and if he didn't have a weapon, he would hit his head against the wall, and he had to be so painful that he couldn't think before he could stop.
This is a curse to him.
Liuli was stunned after watching, her eyes were still red, but tears fell unconsciously. She touched the scar on Ren Wusi's body, but she seemed to see herself.
The one who was sitting alone, because of the fear of losing control because of missing, self-mutilation.
Every time I miss it, I leave a mark on my body. How can someone who loves cleanliness do this? There are scars on the body that cannot be removed, will that person still like it
Will not.
But maybe it's because she knows in her heart that that person won't come, so it doesn't matter what she does. She and Ren Wusi are both guarding their dreams.
What is the difference between a dream and an ideal? Probably... the latter is more likely to be realized, while the former can only be a dream.
She hugged Ren Wusi's shoulders, tears dripped on his broad back, Ren Wusi was a little lost, Liuli's tears were hot, she seemed to embrace another self, hugging Ren Wusi tightly and never letting go.
this pain...
that person…
Ren Wusi was as stiff as a sculpture. He sat on the bed and let her hug him, and he didn't know how to coax others. Liuli hugged him for a long time before saying hoarsely, "Hungry."
He slowly came back to his senses, straightened his clothes, and smiled at her.
The smile is simple, but he hasn't smiled for a long time, and he feels that no matter how he smiles, it's weird, it shouldn't be very good-looking, so he puts the smile away again, not wanting to scare Liuli.
The servants brought the meals over, Liuli's clothes were ragged, and sometimes her fingers were so clumsy that she didn't know where to put them. She was a little annoyed, she was obviously not young, why couldn't she even do such a small thing well
In the end, Ren Wusi helped her get dressed, then carried her to the table and took care of her like a baby.
But Liuli is not a child after all, and she will be able to eat by herself after a while. Ren Wusi didn't leave her after dinner, he didn't do anything, just sat there quietly and looked at her, he stared at her no matter what she did, Liuli touched the pipa on the side - in fact, she didn't think about it in her heart It's just that Pipa seems to be calling her, and seems to have something to say to her.
Seeing her playing with the pipa, Ren Wusi asked softly, "Can Liu Li know how to play the pipa?"
Liuli was in a daze, and said, "I don't know either."
As he said this, his fingers plucked the strings.
That piece of music is deeply engraved in her soul, even if she forgets everything, when she puts her fingers on the strings, it will flow out naturally.
Ren Wusi closed his eyes, and with the melodious sound of the piano, he gradually fell into a deep sleep, and Liuli gradually woke up.
The bones were clattering, the strings neighed slightly, accompanied by the Bianhua in her eyes, slowly came to life, and finally Liuli's fingers stopped on the last note, and the pipa finally returned to its former snow-white and translucent appearance, as if it were a living thing.
After all, she is not an ordinary ghost, and she has a pipa as a companion. The medicine can interfere for a while, but it is only a matter of time when I think about it.
Liuli raised her head and looked at Ren Wusi. He fell asleep at some point, and his breathing was so soft that he couldn't hear him. If he could not see the slight rise and fall of his chest, he would be a dead body.
But for Ren Wusi, there is no difference between being alive and dead. The reason why he is still alive is entirely because of Liuli.
He wants to live the life of ordinary people with Liuli, working at sunrise and resting at sunset, working hard to make money every day, and then handing over all the silver and copper coins to his virtuous little wife, wearing the clothes that the little wife sewed stitch by stitch, and eating It is the meal cooked by the little wife. They have been married for several years, they have a few children, and the family is harmonious and beautiful, that's enough.
He didn't ask for much, but it was never fulfilled.
"I resemble him a bit." Liuli whispered to Pipa.
Pipa didn't know whether she understood or not, moved a bit, and the strings floated up and touched her delicate cheeks, as if to comfort her.
"But we are different."
Liuli loves Ren Wusi, and Ren Wusi also loves Liuli. After all, she is different from Ren Wusi. What she has is even less than Ren Wusi.
If Ren Wusi could reach the Naihe Bridge after his death, if he could not satisfy his obsession, he would definitely jump off the River of Forgetfulness. There is the home of all ghosts of heartbreak, where there is only pain, no love, no memories.