Seventy-fifth bowl of soup (1)
[She should have been pointed at by others and had to bear a lifetime of humiliation and embarrassment.]
[She was supposed to marry a man twenty years older than her, and the meaning of her existence was to bear a son for him. After giving birth to her daughter, she drowned in the toilet.]
[She should have been domestically abused by her alcoholic husband, and she should have died at the age of thirty-two, and then rolled up in a dilapidated straw mat and thrown into the wild.]
[This is her life.]
"Is it her? Is it her?"
"Yes, it's her."
"It doesn't look very old."
"She just turned twelve, look at her, she's timid."
Two middle-aged women chatted at the head of the village after lunch, looking at Qing Huan who came not far away, whispering like this. At this time, another aunt joined the chat, she rolled her eyes, and clicked her tongue, "But the boobs are not small, and I don't blame Old Li, she is such a big girl, and she is flirting all day long." The man shakes in front of him, even her own father can't help it!"
"That's right. Flies don't bite seamless eggs. If she is raped, she must be coquettish. She is so coquettish at a young age, no wonder people are being rude." A woman spat at Qing Huan, feeling disgusted and disgusted at the same time. Be curious. "But a few days ago, I saw her mother come looking for Aunt Chen from the west end of the village. This little slut won't..."
"It's just what you think!" The other aunt chuckled, and took this as a joke after dinner, "The little slut is developing well, and the child can be pregnant. It's not like I just had an abortion a few days ago. Going to school, what kind of school do you go to for such a loser? If you want me to say, hurry up and become Lao Litou's wife, otherwise who would want her broken shoes?"
Qing Huan walked past them in silence. Not only did the aunts not hold back, but they became even more arrogant, laughing louder in front of her, and insulting her with all kinds of obscenities. The men who saw her stared at her chest and crotch, as if she was walking in this village without clothes on.
When she arrived at school, she sat quietly in her seat, and was called to the office by the teacher after a while.
Everyone is talking about her.
They looked at her, looked at her with the eyes of looking at the goods, and then smiled and said that she was a slut, and she must have been raped because she was usually indiscreet, otherwise why would the old Li in his fifties rape her if he didn't rape others?
"... something happened to the students in your class, it's not good to spread the word."
"Yeah, I told the principal that if she goes to school again, it will affect the school. Let her drop out of school and go home. Anyway, it's like this. What's the use of going to school for a girl? Maybe she will be Lao Li's wife now. Her family You can even collect some dowry money!"
"It's true. The family is so poor that they can't get out of the pot, and they have to give birth one after another. They deserve to be unable to have a son. They can't pay the family planning fine and run around. The daughter is such a waste. It's really disgusting."
"Don't say that, I think this girl doesn't talk at ordinary times, so I'm not sure what's on her mind."
"I miss a man already!"
…
The teachers laughed happily, as if they had heard a very interesting joke. Qing Huan stood alone in the corner, she was wearing a washed white dress, although the old one couldn't see the original color, but it was very clean. She stood in the office, listening to the teachers talking about her, sometimes laughing happily, and sometimes casting contemptuous glances at her. They let her stand here, as quiet and numb as a wooden stake.
I don't know how long it took, but the teachers got addicted to gossip and waved to her and said, "Okay, you can go back."
When Qing Huan returned to the classroom, the students pointed at her in groups of three and four, snickering from time to time, as if the tragedy that happened to her was very funny.
This should be her last day of school.
Finally school was over, and she was going to go home when there was no one in the classroom, so that she would not meet too many people who knew her on the way. Qing Huan is carrying a schoolbag, and her grades are very good. In the past, she felt that her future was full of hope, but now she has nothing left.
On the way, a man jumped out from behind the big tree, smiled at her, came up and hugged her, his big smelly mouth was about to kiss her. Qing Huan struggled and shouted, but the man said: "You've already done it to Old Li's half-leg into the coffin, why are you pretending to be chaste? Don't you already have children? Obediently, don't move, don't force me to do it!" .”
She didn't listen, and just continued to struggle. The man was annoyed, and he swung his mouth over, hitting her so hard that the corners of his mouth were cracked. In a panic, she touched the pencil in her schoolbag, picked it up and stabbed it hard—the man's eyes widened in horror, and he fell from her body in convulsions. Qing Huan got up and ran, not forgetting to pick up her schoolbag.
When I got home, my father saw her and called her a loser, and my mother kicked her and told her to cook. A few sisters gloated happily, saying that she insisted on going to school because she didn't feel ashamed enough.
The father was cursing, and the mother came to Qing Huan after dinner and said that she would marry an old bachelor in the neighboring village as his wife. She said: "Sanya, it's not that I don't love you as a mother, but you are like this now, no one wants you, and my mother is pregnant again, this time I will give you a younger brother. It's a lot of money for Aunt Chen to help you abort, our family is poor, you have to be sensible."
Qing Huan didn't speak.
"I have discussed it with your father. No one in this normal family is willing to want you. Only the old bachelor is willing to give our family 5,000 yuan. When the time comes, you will marry and live a good life. Do you hear me? I taught you But remember, your brother will be indispensable to you in the future."
Qing Huan still didn't speak. She knew that the reason why she didn't give her to Lao Li as suggested by the villagers was because Lao Li's family was poor, let alone 5,000 yuan, 500 yuan was a problem .
Should she be happy? A broken shoe can still be worth 5,000 yuan. But what should she do after she marries the old bachelor? That man spent so much money to buy her, but she is a broken shoe. Can that man make her feel better? Wouldn't it be the same as Dad, who is unhappy and beats whatever he picks up, as long as he can't be beaten to death, he will beat him to death.
Then, she had to work as hard as her mother to give birth to sons, gave birth to their five sisters, and continued to give birth. If I remember correctly, my mother had abortions several times, all of which were found out by Aunt Chen at the west end of the village because it was cheap.
Is she going to end her life like this
Qing Huan didn't fall asleep all night. The old bachelor came the next day. He looked about forty years old, and when her mother brought her to see her, his saliva almost drool. In this ignorant and closed town, when a twelve-year-old girl encountered such a tragic thing, no one would complain about her, and no one would call the police. Everyone watched all this indifferently, and then, became Let's crush this girl's executioner together.
Qing Huan is the best-looking girl in the family—no, the whole village or even the whole town. She is amazingly beautiful and has good academic performance. Everyone thinks that she will be the golden phoenix flying out of the mountain. But now, this golden phoenix has been defiled, so everyone quickly cheered up again. You see, she is still as mediocre as us, even more miserable than us.
It seems that thinking this way makes life much happier, and I become a little nobler.
Qing Huan sat quietly on the stool, no matter what the old bachelor said, she didn't say a word, her father's hands were shaking with anger, if her mother didn't stop her, she would have slapped her head and face. Just like that, as soon as the old bachelor left, her father didn't hold back, and knocked Qing Huan off the stool with a single mouth, "You little bastard! I have raised you for so many years, and I have eaten my rice for so many years. You thought it was free! Tomorrow you pack up your things and marry me!"
How can you get married at the age of twelve? You have to wait a long time to get the certificate, but that doesn't matter to the people in this town. The certificate can be obtained later, and the person can marry now.
At dinner, Qing Huan was burning the fire with a bruised face. Her sisters came back from school, put down their schoolbags one by one and came over to "look" at her, talking gloatingly.
Said that she was expelled from the school, said that everyone in the school knew that she was a broken shoe, and said that they were happy when she got married and got out of this house.
They didn't like the sister either. She is prettier than them all, to what extent is she good-looking, the five sisters stand together, no one thinks that Qing Huan is related to them by blood. It was the same in school. The adults said that it was useless for girls to study, so they took it for granted that they didn't study hard. Only Qing Huan got full marks every time in the exam, knew all the questions asked by the teacher, and could write well.
Everyone is so ordinary, why should you be different
But now, you are not as good as us. What a golden phoenix, it's just a pretentious crow.
Qing Huan let them have a good time, and then stared at the flames in the stove in a daze. Her life is like this fire, which grows little by little, and then goes out, never to be as brilliant as before.
The rice is ready.
She took the iron fork out of the stove, but the pulling out of the iron fork allowed air to enter, and the remaining ash that had been extinguished instantly burned, illuminating her delicate and tender face.
It's like talking to her.
Qing Huan stared at the flame, watching it continue to burn unceasingly, it seemed that something in her soul had also changed. She lowered her head, picked up a handful of firewood and put it in, but the fourth sister passing by saw her, and then the fourth sister yelled and complained to her parents for wasting firewood to play there.
Qing Huan didn't care at all, she just suddenly understood a truth.
Destiny is in your own hands.