Na Chen sat in Dr. Chen's office, listening to Dr. Chen without saying a word.
My mother has been unstable for some time. The way she cut her wrists was also very strange. The hospital didn't have those tools, and the glass was all specially made. My mother had to create conditions for suicide, so she bit her own wrist.
But it was not serious because the bite was not accurate and it was discovered by the cleaning worker after two bites.
"She wants to see you very much, and keeps saying it, but I don't think she's in a good mental state to meet with visitors right now," Doctor Chen looked at Na Chen, "I can only ask you to come and talk about her condition and the next stage of treatment. We can only find a suitable time to meet."
"Yeah." Na Chen responded, his eyes looking at the book on Dr. Chen's desk.
Doctor Chen spoke slowly, explaining the treatment plan to him in words he could understand. He nodded from time to time but did not ask any questions.
Ever since he could remember, his mother was always unhappy. He had hardly ever seen her laugh heartily. He had always tried hard to make her happy, but it seemed that he never succeeded.
He was not surprised that she wanted to commit suicide this time. Many years ago, she had said that there was no point in living like this.
Yes, it's boring, Na Chen leaned back in his chair, his eyes drifting out the window. What's the point of living for such a beautiful, gentle and imaginative woman facing such an illness as mine
"I suggest you not tell her about your father..." Doctor Chen continued to speak calmly, "Given her current condition, this matter is meaningless."
"Okay." Na Chen nodded.
Thinking of this person, Na Chen felt suffocated and frowned subconsciously.
Although he never thought about it too much, whenever it was mentioned he would still feel a sudden palpitation as if he had just woken up from a dream.
Dead, already dead.
His father.
Before he could roar, before he could prove himself... the man was already dead.
Na Chen felt a sense of emptiness in his heart, and everything around him faded away.
When Nachen walked out of the gate of the Fifth Hospital, An He had just taken a nap for an hour in the car. He looked at Nachen who was walking towards him in a daze. He felt that Nachen, with his pale face and empty eyes, looked like a patient who had escaped from the Fifth Hospital by climbing over the wall during a day out.
"How is it?" An He didn't rush to drive. He handed the cigarette over and asked, "You look so bad."
"Really?" Na Chen lowered the sunshade, looked in the mirror, took the cigarette and held it in his mouth, "It's okay, my mom bit herself twice, but she didn't die."
"Let me take you home." An He started the car and suddenly felt a little regretful for asking this question.
"Yeah." Na Chen looked very tired. He leaned back and closed his eyes as soon as he got in the car.
It wasn't until An He drove the car to his neighborhood that Na Chen opened his eyes and looked out the window: "Are we there yet?"
"We're here." Anhe nodded.
"So fast." Na Chen said without thinking.
"Should I take you in?" An He asked.
"No need," Na Chen smiled, opened the car door and jumped out, holding the door for two seconds, then turned back, "I have a hunch."
"What?" An He looked at him.
"Forget it, it's nothing. Thank you for today..." Na Chen quickly closed the car door, and the rest of his sentence was blocked out of the car.
Na Chen's voice was very low and his words were vague. An He only heard the two words "some other day". He didn't hear clearly what "some other day" meant, but he didn't ask. After looking at Na Chen through the glass for a few seconds, he turned the car around.
Na Chen did not have the courage to say this, or perhaps he did not intend for anyone to hear it clearly.
As for why this happened, An He had no intention of figuring it out.
I have a hunch.
You won't contact me again.
I'll look for you another day. Will you still come out
No more.
Nachen, you won't let anyone have the idea of getting close to you!
This voice kept circling in Nachen's ears. The voice of this man who always coldly refused to get close to him was his nightmare since he was a child.
His father, a man who couldn't even muster the interest to look at him, what was more unbearable to him than his cold words was his ever-present back.
Na Chen kicked the trash can on the side of the road in the community hard. The trash can made a loud noise and a camera next to it moved. He turned around and raised his middle finger towards the camera.
Na Chen bought some flour from the supermarket in the community and took it home.
When I came in I wanted to make something to eat, but I felt a little tired. Doctor Chen's words about my mother's condition would always be in my mind even after my father died.
And there was An He's silent aloofness.
worn out.
Na Chen threw himself on the bed and lay there, staring blankly for a while.
The rabbit that An He gave him was placed next to his pillow. He stared at it. There was a hair on the rabbit's ear. He pinched it and found it was shorter than his own hair. It must be An He's. He tucked the hair under the pillow and closed his eyes.
Na Chen slept until almost noon the next day, and after lazily taking a shower and changing his clothes, he strolled into the kitchen.
His favorite place to stay is probably the kitchen. It is a small space, but there is fire, pots and pans, which makes him feel at ease.
He washed his hands, spent more than two hours kneading the dough, baked the buns, dragged a chair and sat next to the oven. It felt great to wait for the bread to come out of the oven.
When the aroma of bread wafted out of the oven, Na Chen closed his eyes, leaned over and took a deep breath.
Just as he leaned back in his chair, his cell phone rang. He quickly took the phone out of his pocket and threw it from the kitchen onto the carpet in the living room.
The phone rang persistently, and it only went quiet after four or five times.
When Na Chen stood up and was about to take out the bread and brush it with honey, the phone rang again.
He pressed the oven door, and after a long pause, he slowly turned around and walked into the living room, picked up the phone and answered, "Happy New Year, Brother Lei."
"How many times have I told you not to ignore my calls!" Lei Ge's voice was filled with anger. After a pause, he added, "Happy New Year!"
"I'll read your text messages." Na Chen said, holding the phone and going back to the kitchen, taking the bread out of the oven and slowly brushing it with honey.
"I don't have the time, and I don't understand how to press it." Brother Lei said unhappily.
"What's the matter?" After applying honey, Na Chen pinched some sesame seeds and sprinkled them on it.
"Come over to my place. I'll treat you to dinner tonight. We haven't seen each other and talked for a long time." Brother Lei's tone slowed down a little.
"No." Na Chen answered simply.
"Stop talking bullshit and get here before four o'clock, or I'll get two people to carry you over!" Brother Lei said and hung up the phone.
Na Chen slowly finished his bread, changed his clothes and went out.
Brother Lei's name is Lei Bo. Na Chen has known him for five or six years. He is almost forty years old, unmarried and without a stable partner. He opened a very pretentious art gallery on the corner of the pedestrian street. He spends about two or three days a month in the store to look at the street view.
Na Chen parked his car in front of the coffee shop. The waiter ran out and saw that it was him. He smiled and said, "Can I park your car for you?"
"No need, let's go now." Na Chen got out of the car and walked into the store.
"Are you doing this on purpose to irritate him?" the waiter whispered behind him.
"Yeah." Na Chen responded.
When Na Chen pushed the door and walked into Lei Bo's office, Lei Bo was on the phone. When he heard the door open, he turned around and saw Na Chen. His eyes widened, and then the muscles on his face twitched. He slammed the phone on the table and pointed at Na Chen: "What the hell do you mean?"
"It's meaningless." Na Chen hooked a lock of wig with his fingers and slowly spun it in a circle, bringing it close to Lei Bo's eyes. "I said I don't want to come out."
"If you don't want to come out, then don't come out! You're dressed like this, fuck you! Don't you know I hate you the most when you're like this?" Lei Bo lit up a cigarette and blew a puff of smoke into his face, "Can you stop being unhappy all the time?"
"No need to look for it," Na Chen fanned the smoke in front of him with his hand, "I'm unhappy anyway, and I just want others to be as unhappy as me, so if anyone can help me, that's a win."
"Nai Chen," Lei Bo pointed at him, holding a cigarette between his legs, "With your weird look, you're lucky I didn't ask someone to throw you into the river, you know that?"
"You can throw it away anytime you want," Na Chen curled his lips, leaned against Lei Bo's desk, and tapped a rhythm with his fingers on the tabletop, "I'm leaving?"
Lei Bo stared at him for a long time, then he swept the ashtray on the table to the floor and yelled, "Get lost!"
Na Chen smiled and blew him a kiss, kicked the ashtray that was broken into two pieces, and opened the office door.
"Come back!" Lei Bo roared again.
Na Chen turned back to his desk, and Lei Bo took out a red envelope from the drawer and threw it in front of him: "New Year's money."
"Thank you." Na Chen took the red envelope, put it in his pocket, turned around and walked out.
Lei Bo would give him red envelopes every Chinese New Year. Na Chen liked this feeling, the feeling of receiving lucky money, and the feeling of surprise when he took the lucky money out of the red envelope.
My father used to give him New Year’s money. He didn’t need to kowtow to wish him a happy new year. He would just give him a thick stack of banknotes as if he had completed a task without saying a word.
Na Chen didn't care about money, he just wanted to be able to greet his parents and kowtow to them like his other brothers and sisters, and then receive red envelopes and blessings from them, but this never happened once.
He put his hand in his coat pocket, held Lei Bo's red envelope, got into the car, thought for a long time on the side of the road, and drove along the road without a destination.
Everyone in the band has to celebrate the New Year and has no time to rehearse. They don't make money from this, and they only go to performances when everyone is interested, so the holidays are very difficult for Na Chen.
He had nowhere to go and nothing to do, so he often drove around the city, going round and round along the road, the second ring road, the third ring road, the fourth ring road, the third ring road, the second ring road, the third ring road, the fourth ring road…
The cell phone rang and a text message came in.
Na Chen parked the car on the side of the road. The text message was sent by Li Fan.
My wife is back at her parents' house. Come over to play.
Na Chen thought about it and drove towards Li Fan’s house.
Li Fan and his wife haven't gotten married yet, and they go back to their own homes during the Chinese New Year. Li Fan's home is not local, so if he doesn't go home during the Chinese New Year, his parents will come over to play and treat it as a trip.
Na Chen rang the doorbell of Li Fan's house, and the door opened. Li Fan's mother poked her head out from behind the door and smiled when she saw him: "Xiao Chen looks very beautiful today."
"Happy New Year, Auntie." Na Chen smiled.
"Happy New Year, Happy New Year," Li Fan's mother pulled him into the house, "Li Fan is playing games in the inner room."
"Happy New Year, uncle." Na Chen also greeted Li Fan's father who was watching the Spring Festival Gala replay in the room.
Li Fan's father handed him a red envelope with a smile. He took it and put it in his pocket without any refusal, feeling very satisfied.
Li Fan was playing games in the house, doing the Spring Festival mission. He turned off the game and turned his chair around when Na Chen came into the house.
Seeing Na Chen's outfit, he was amused for a long time: "Tell me, who did you offend during the New Year's Day?"
"Is it okay if you are happy?" Na Chen sat on the edge of the bed, "Where are the cigarettes?"
Li Fan threw the cigarette to him: "Your eyes are bloodshot, did you not sleep last night?"
"Asleep." Na Chen lit a cigarette and walked to the balcony and stood there.
"With whom?" Li Fan asked as he pushed his feet against the ground and slid the chair onto the balcony.
Na Chen looked at him with a cigarette in his mouth, then looked downstairs. After a while, he replied, "An He."
"Fuck, where did you take it? The parking lot or the bar..."
"My home."
"Your home?" Li Fan raised his head, with a look of inexplicable surprise on his face. "Take me to your home to spend the night?"
"Well," Na Chen adjusted his wig in front of the balcony glass, "Are you jealous?"
"Damn, I'm so jealous that I'm bloated and burping. I haven't even spent the night at your house, so what right does he have?" Li Fan shouted exaggeratedly and kicked Na Chen on the butt.
"Then come over tonight and let me do it tonight." Na Chen said.
"Fuck you." Li Fan cursed.
Na Chen suddenly laughed. Li Fan was stunned for a moment and then laughed too. The two of them laughed for several minutes on the balcony and only stopped when they cried.
"Hey..." Li Fan sighed and panted for a long time, "What are you laughing at?"
"How would I know?" Na Chen sat on the armrest of the chair and put his feet on the balcony railing.
Li Fan panted for a while and suddenly called him, "Na Chen."
"Um."
"You like that teacher An."
"Well, is there anything strange?" Na Chen took a puff of cigarette and squinted his eyes in the smoke.
"I mean, do you really like it? Not just the casual thing you did before." Li Fan asked seriously.
"Have I ever slept with anyone casually before?" Na Chen looked at him.
"Fuck, stop playing dumb, you know what I'm saying!" Li Fan shook the chair.
Na Chen thought about it seriously and said, "I don't know."
"Anyway, I know you never brought anyone back to your house before, and you were not willing to go to the parking lot." Li Fan clicked his tongue.
"I really don't know. Anyway, there won't be any follow-up. Who cares?" Na Chen's voice was a little heavy, but it was only for a moment. When he turned around, pulled his hair to cover half of his face and flirted with Li Fan, his voice had returned to normal, "Want to go out and have some fun, Brother Fan?"
"It's good that there's no follow-up." Li Fan didn't respond. He was still very serious, with his brows furrowed. "I've always said that person is not the same kind of person as us. Besides, with your personality, you have to run away as soon as you see one."
The smile on Na Chen's face froze and he didn't say anything. Li Fan always spoke like this and he was the only person who dared to speak like this in front of him.
"I really don't know." Na Chen said in a low voice.
"It's the same even if you know it," Li Fan lit a cigarette, "It looks like a game, who would want to do it?"
"Get lost." Na Chen laughed.
"Stay away from that guy. Even if you're playing, you may not be able to beat him," Li Fan looked at him seriously. "That An He looks easy to approach, but in fact, it's just the opposite. Don't you think so? You can't tell any emotion on his face. This kind of person is very deep."
Na Chen smiled and said nothing.
"Let's go. I'll take you to play a couple of rounds," Li Fan stood up. "Just the two of us. Come back for dinner at seven. My mom has cooked your meal."
"good."
There is a billiard room in the community next to Li Fan's house. It's not a big place, but the tables are all new. They often come here to play billiard. It's a good place to kill time.
However, as soon as I entered the billiard room today, the smell of alcohol hit me. There were four people at the table near the wall at the door. They were obviously drunk at noon. There were a few wine bottles and a bag of food on the ground. They were not playing billiards, but just chatting with cigarettes in their mouths. When they saw the two of them, they all turned their heads and someone whistled.
Li Fan hesitated and wanted to turn back, but Na Chen had already walked in, so he had to follow him in. There was nowhere else to go during the New Year.
Na Chen’s table tennis level is about the same as Li Fan’s, but he was not in good shape today and lost two games in a row.
"Can you please pay attention?" Li Fan held the table, "It's boring for me to play like this."
Na Chen smiled, bent down and looked around. Several people over there were staring at him. When he hit the ball into the pocket, whistles sounded again and people applauded.
Li Fan turned his head and looked over there. All the people who came here on New Year's Day were idle people. These people were probably not only idle, but also so idle that they wanted to find trouble.
He looked at Na Chen again. Na Chen didn't move, but was aiming with his hand on the pole. If it were normal times, Li Fan wouldn't worry if he met someone like this, but today was different. He knew Na Chen well.
Nachen was really in a bad mood today.
"Are you hungry? Let's go to the supermarket to buy something to eat?" Li Fan asked.
"It's done." Na Chen gently blew away the hair that was blocking his eyes, putted the ball, and the ball slowly rolled into the pocket.
The whistling and strange laughter over there never stopped. It was New Year's Day and there were still people looking for trouble. Li Fan felt very annoyed.
Na Chen didn't react much. He stood by the table and measured the angles with the pole.
But the shot didn't go in. Several people over there started laughing and someone said, "Do you want your brother to teach you?"
Li Fan turned around and glanced over there. The person who spoke immediately stood up and crossed his arms provocatively.
"Let's go." Na Chen stood up, put down the pole and walked towards the door.
Li Fan quickly rushed to the cashier to pay. He knew Na Chen would not just leave. When he put the money on the cashier, he saw Na Chen hook his finger at the guy with his arms crossed, and then walked out the door.
The guy was stunned for a moment, but soon followed him out.
You're going to beat someone up, but you're still acting recklessly!
Li Fan cursed in his heart and when he chased out of the door, he only heard a scream. The man fell to the ground, covering his face, and his mouth was covered with blood from his nose.
Na Chen slowly retracted his legs, took out his wallet from his pocket, pulled out a stack of money, and threw it in front of the people who had rushed out. The red banknotes fluttered in the wind like rain.
Several people, including the one sitting on the ground, were stunned.
Li Fan didn't want to cause any trouble on the second day of the Chinese New Year, so he took the opportunity to pull Na Chen's arm and said, "Let's go, Na Ye!"
It was not until the two of them got on Na Chen's Bombardier that those people came to their senses. They wanted to give chase but were a little hesitant. The money and the car that Na Chen had spent probably made them a little confused.
Na Chen stepped on the accelerator and the car rushed out.
An He slept very soundly and didn't wake up until the afternoon. He felt a little stuffy and his head was so heavy that he could hardly lift it up.
During the Chinese New Year, there were not many relatives to visit, so it was a good opportunity to catch up on some sleep. His father had been missing for years and traveling around the world, and his mother had been in seclusion for years, practicing the tenth level of the Hemp God, so there had been no contact between the relatives for a long time.
While he was sitting on the bed in a daze, his cell phone rang. He picked it up and it was Xu Jingyao calling, saying that in a few days all his classmates would come over to wish him a happy new year. He was a little worried, but still agreed.
After the call, he continued to be in a daze, but because the call was from Xu Jingyao, he couldn't help but think of Na Chen while he was in a daze.
He sighed, without trying to control himself, letting Na Chen's shadow sway in front of his eyes for a long time before he stood up and walked into the living room.
He was hungry, but he had no appetite for a bunch of convenience foods. Instead, he thought of Na Chen's pot of fruit tea.
After hesitating for a while, he decided to go to the supermarket to buy some ingredients and make a pot.
Just as he was about to change his clothes, his cell phone rang again. An He was a little surprised to see that the caller was his mother.
"Mom?" He picked up the phone.
"Do you know the killer?" Mom roared over there.
"What?" He was stunned.
"Killer! Killer! Any price is fine!"
"I don't know him," An He frowned, "Who are you going to kill on New Year's Day?"
"I will kill anyone who makes me feel uncomfortable during the New Year!" Mom was very excited and kept shouting, "I will kill An Zhifei!"
An Zhifei is his father's name, but An He almost forgot it. He pinched his eyebrows and asked, "What's wrong?"
"He doesn't know that his little wife has come to my house! She's forcing me to divorce her! Bah! Divorce is useless! Come back immediately!"
An He was still surprised while holding the phone, but his mother had already hung up.
"Damn, what a shitty New Year this is." An He threw his phone away in frustration and went to change his clothes. He was so upset that he wanted to vomit.