An He stood on the balcony and watched Na Chen drive downstairs and disappear at the end of the road. He turned back to the house, closed the curtains, sat on the sofa, and stared at the TV in a daze. ＞雅文8＿ ＞＞
I feel a little empty inside. If I shout to him in my heart now, I guess I'll hear an echo.
He didn't know what was going on. Besides being worried about Chen, he also felt an lingering and unrelieved fatigue.
He lit a cigarette and asked, "Anhe, what are you doing?"
After going full circle, everything seemed to be back to square one.
His life was messed up by Na Chen. He went crazy with Na Chen, laughed with Na Chen, and experienced the long-lost madness and unbridledness, the kind of happiness from his past life that had been suppressed in his heart for a long time.
Yes, that's right, this was clearly the life he had wanted to get rid of, nightclubs, video game arcades, the bizarre lights in the night, the confusion and indifference of not being able to see the way forward.
He looked at the tiny bright spot on the cigarette butt. He tried hard to control his emotions, but they became more and more unstable because of Chen. He felt inexplicably irritated and felt an inexplicable sense of emptiness that he couldn't touch.
He leaned back against the sofa and closed his eyes.
Everything didn't go as he had imagined at the beginning.
He wanted to stay away from Na Chen, but he still continued to be with him. He felt that there was no possibility for him and this person, but he still agreed to give it a try.
Anhe, what are you doing
He didn't know what kind of feelings he had for Na Chen. He liked her, but he also felt uneasy, tired, and confused. He was torn between wanting to get closer and wanting to move away, and Na Chen simply didn't give him the time and energy to make a careful judgment.
As for what kind of feelings Na Chen had for him, he was unsure before, and he still is unsure now.
Na Chen needed patience, affirmation, a sense of existence, a hug, and tolerance. He was not sure if he could give them. What he was sure of was... The peaceful life falling apart like this was too much for him to bear.
The cigarette was held in his hand without being smoked, and slowly burned his fingers. An He was burned, his hand trembled, and a long piece of ash fell on the sofa.
He put out his cigarette and took pictures for a long time.
The cell phone suddenly rang. An He was stunned for a moment before he took the phone and took a look. It was his mother.
He sighed softly and picked up the phone: "Mom."
"The old man is dying." My mother's voice came from behind a cigarette.
"Which old thing?" An He frowned. There are four old things his mother was referring to: grandparents, great-grandma, and great-uncle, all of whom are old things. If you expand on that, there are also aunts, great-grandmothers, and great-uncles, all of whom are old things.
"Your grandpa!" Mom's voice was loud and I couldn't tell whether it was anxious or irritated. "Come here now and take me to the hospital."
"Which hospital?" An He stood up. Because of his mother, he was not close to his relatives at home, but he still felt sad when he suddenly heard the words that his grandfather was dying.
"The First Affiliated Hospital." said my mother.
"Wouldn't it be a long way to pick you up? Just go straight..."
"I don't want to walk! The car has already arrived while you were saying this!"
An He bit his lip, hung up the phone, went into the house, changed his clothes and ran out.
Not long after Na Chen returned home, his cell phone rang and Lei Bo's name flashed on the screen.
He held the phone and squeezed it so hard that his fingertips turned a little white.
"Brother Lei." He pressed the answer button when the phone rang for the second time.
"Where?" Lei Bo asked.
"Home."
"My car will be here in ten minutes. You can go out and climb the mountain and have lunch at the farmhouse."
Lei Bo likes to climb mountains. When he is in a good mood, he will call a few people to go climbing with him. He has climbed all the mountains in the suburbs. No, he has climbed many times.
"No." Na Chen took off his coat and sat on the stairs.
"What other words can you say to me?" Lei Bo didn't get angry like he usually did when he heard his rejection. His tone was very calm. "Come out in ten minutes."
Na Chen hung up the phone and sat motionless against the stair railing.
Anger, helplessness, despair, all kinds of suffocating feelings slowly permeated his body.
Just like being thrown into an icy river by his mother, he kept struggling to get up, but was dragged down little by little by the cold.
No one could help him.
When Lei Bo called again, he hung up the phone, stood up, put on his coat, and looked at the time. It was five minutes past eleven.
When he went out, Lei Bo's car was parked on the roadside at the entrance of the community.
The passenger window was rolled down and Ge Jian glanced at him.
Na Chen opened the back door and got in the car, sitting in the back seat in silence.
He didn't know why Ge Jian reminded him, nor did he know what Lei Bo would do.
"Didn't you go out?" Lei Bo asked casually, looking at him in the rearview mirror.
"No." Na Chen retracted his legs, put his feet on the back seat, curled himself up and looked out the window.
"How about having fish for lunch?" Lei Bo turned the car around and drove towards the suburbs.
"Not very good." Na Chen's voice was cold.
"I forgot you don't like fish," Lei Bo smiled, "How about orchard chicken?"
Na Chen didn't say anything.
"Tell me, he has been like this for how many years," Lei Bo turned to look at Ge Jian, "How did I endure it?"
"You always don't bother with children, that's just his personality," Ge Jian smiled and changed the subject, "I'll call the family on the mountain first and ask them to prepare first."
"If it were someone else, I would have beaten him up and told him to get as far away from me as possible. Why the hell can I tolerate him like this?" Lei Bo was not distracted by Ge Jian.
"Brother Lei," Ge Jian still smiled, "You always know when to do things in moderation. You know when to beat someone and when to tolerate him. You know Chen's temper better than anyone else. How could you argue with him..."
"Ge Jian," Lei Bo sneered, "Why do I feel like something is wrong with you lately?"
The smile on Ge Jian's face was a little stiff: "Brother Lei, don't tease me. I dare not act weird in front of you."
"Your flattery lately isn't as pleasing as before." Lei Bo glanced at the rearview mirror.
"I'll improve my professional skills." Ge Jian said with a smile.
Lei Bo wanted to say something, but Na Chen leaned over the back seat and said, "I want to eat glutinous rice cakes."
"Is there?" Lei Bo asked Ge Jian.
"Yes, I'll call." Ge Jian took out his cell phone and called the farm house on the mountain to ask them to prepare the food.
There is no fun in climbing mountains, especially climbing mountains like this.
Na Chen followed Lei Bo silently, walking step by step along the winding mountain road towards the top of the mountain.
The sunshine today is very good, and it feels warm and fluffy on the body, but this warmth only wraps around the outside of the body. Na Chen's hands are still cold in his pockets.
Lei Bo was in high spirits. It was already one o'clock in the afternoon when they reached the top of the mountain, but he had no intention of going down to eat immediately. He just asked Ge Jian to go down and prepare first, and then took Na Chen to walk slowly around the top of the mountain.
"Are you feeling upset?" Lei Bo looked at the various tall buildings shining in the sun in the distance.
"Yeah." Na Chen responded.
"Because of me?" Lei Bo turned and stared at him.
Na Chen raised his eyes and looked at him: "Yes. > Yawen, right w·ww·.·"
Lei Bo laughed and patted his shoulder: "I'm annoyed too."
"Oh," Na Chen felt his pocket, "Do you have any cigarettes?"
Lei Bo took out a cigarette and threw it to him. He took one, lit it, squatted down and smoked silently.
"Are you scared?" Lei Bo also squatted down.
"Afraid." Na Chen looked at the smoke in front of him, his voice a little hoarse.
"What are you afraid of?"
"I'm afraid that my whole life will be like this," Na Chen curled his lips, "I'm very scared."
Lei Bo laughed loudly, and it took a long time for him to stop laughing. He grabbed Na Chen's arm and said, "I'm scared too."
Na Chen pulled back his arm, stood up, turned around and tried to walk down the mountain, but Lei Bo kicked him in the knee, and he fell forward and knelt on the ground, supporting himself with his hands.
"I'm afraid too," Lei Bo squatted down beside him, grabbed his hair and pulled it back, "I'm afraid I won't be able to hold you anymore."
"Brother Lei," Na Chen did not struggle, "Thank you for helping me."
"You want me to answer? You're welcome?" Lei Bo didn't let go.
"Throw me back." said Na Chen.
"What?" Lei Bo was stunned.
"Throw me back into the water. Did I ever say..." Na Chen said with a smile, "I really hope you didn't come that day."
Lei Bo loosened his grip.
Na Chen didn't move, still kneeling on the ground: "Actually, you don't know what I want."
"Except for me, no one is willing to stay with you," Lei Bo walked down the mountain, "Do you believe it?"
"If you dare to touch An He, I will kill you," Na Chen stood up slowly, "Do you believe it?"
For several days, An He had no news from Na Chen, no phone calls, no text messages. An He called Na Chen twice, but Na Chen didn't answer.
He didn't know what was wrong with Na Chen again, and he didn't have the energy to explore it anymore. He had been very busy these days.
My grandfather is in the hospital with bile duct cancer. Because he is too old and might not survive the surgery, the hospital recommends conservative treatment, but time is running out.
My mother and grandfather have always had a bad relationship. They quarrel whenever they meet. This time when my grandfather was hospitalized, An He didn't know what his mother was thinking. She refused to go to the hospital to take care of him. She still stayed at home every day. She played mahjong less frequently and spent all her time in a daze except when playing mahjong. This made An He not know whether he should be happy or depressed.
The two aunts and uncle were very dissatisfied with their mother and came to have a quarrel. An He had no choice but to go to the hospital to accompany his grandfather for two hours after work every day. The second aunt was responsible for taking care of his grandfather in the afternoon. Every time he rushed over after get off work, his second aunt's face looked very ugly.
Grandpa spoke very little, and the sentence he said most to An He was, your mother has ruined her life, she is now a walking corpse.
An He could only remain silent.
When he came out of the hospital, he sat in the car and didn't want to move.
After sitting for nearly half an hour, he finally mustered up the energy to start the car. Just as he was about to drive out, the cell phone on the passenger seat rang.
When I picked it up, I unexpectedly saw Na Chen's name.
"Daqi?" He picked up the phone.
"What's wrong with you?" Na Chen asked, "Why is your voice hoarse?"
"Are you mute?" An He cleared his throat, "No."
"It sounds different than usual," Na Chen said with a soft sigh, "Too tired from work?"
"It's okay." An He turned off the engine and leaned back in his chair. He originally wanted to ask Na Chen what had been going on these days, but in the end he didn't say a word.
"What happened?" Na Chen asked.
An He hesitated for a long time and said softly: "My grandpa is in the hospital and he doesn't have much time left."
"Are you feeling uncomfortable?" Na Chen's voice also softened.
"I don't know," An He thought for a moment and frowned, "I can't really say. He and I aren't that close."
I'm not close to any relatives.
"Where are you?" Na Chen seemed to be walking, and his voice was a little shaky.
"Hospital, what for?" An He sat up straight.
"Which hospital? I'll be there," the sound of a car door closing came from Nachen's side, "Wait for me."
"No, I'm fine, I'm just a little tired..."
"Which hospital? I'm taking a taxi, tell me quickly."
"The First Affiliated Hospital." An He did not insist.
An He was startled when Na Chen knocked on the car window. He opened the car door in a daze and didn't know when he fell asleep.
"Come here, let Brother Daqi give you a hug." Na Chen leaned half of his body into the car and hugged him.
Na Chen's hug made An He's heart tremble slightly.
That’s it, Na Chen’s hug is always serious and tight, able to fill up the empty space in the body in an instant.
"I accidentally fell asleep." An He buried his face in his shoulder.
"Let me drive. Are you going home or somewhere else?" Na Chen asked in a low voice.
"Go back to sleep." An He smiled.
"good."
Nachen drove the car very steadily. An He leaned on the passenger seat for a few minutes and felt a little drowsy again, but he couldn't fall asleep.
"How long has your grandpa been in the hospital?" Na Chen took a disc and put it into the CD player.
"It's been two months, and no one told us. I called my mom this time because it was no longer viable," An He sighed, "I was hospitalized once before, but my mom didn't know."
"Why?" Na Chen asked.
"What why?"
"Why didn't I tell you?"
"My mother has been living like a loner for more than 20 years. She doesn't visit any of her relatives, not even her biological parents." An He pushed the chair back and half-lay down, resting his head on his arms.
After saying this, he glanced at Na Chen. Na Chen's family seemed to be in the same situation. He was afraid that his words would make Na Chen uncomfortable.
But Na Chen looked ahead with no expression on his face.
Na Chen drove downstairs and hesitated after getting out of the car: "Then I'm leaving, you should go to bed early."
"Daqi," An He called him, "Go upstairs and make me something to eat before you leave."
"You didn't eat?" Na Chen frowned.
"I haven't had time to eat. My second aunt stayed in the hospital in the afternoon. She said I must go back to cook at seven o'clock. I have to be there on time, so I don't have time to eat." An He entered the corridor and pressed the elevator.
"Then don't you eat every day?" Na Chen sighed several times, "You will become thinner and weaker. When you want to collect the debt, it will be embarrassing if you become weak right after you start..."
An He made him laugh: "Bullshit, your uncle An can easily make you cry."
Na Chen didn't say anything, but smiled and hugged his shoulders from behind.
"There are surveillance cameras." An He reminded him.
"Hi." Na Chen loosened his arms and made a V sign to the camera overhead.
Na Chen’s skill is that he can use instant noodles to make various noodles that are not instant noodles.
Sometimes it’s braised noodles, sometimes it’s mixed noodles, and today it’s fried noodles.
"The ingredients are insufficient, so you'll have to make do with what you have. There are only a few yellowed green onions and bacon in your refrigerator. Fortunately, I'm good at cooking..." Na Chen put a plate of fried noodles in front of him, "Why don't you praise me first, and then I'll praise you after you've done that."
An He lowered his head, took a bite, and gave him a thumbs up.
"It tastes good, right? My cooking skills are just so inhumane." Na Chen smiled contentedly and lay on the table watching him eat.
An He didn't feel hungry at first, but after two mouthfuls of noodles, his stomach cried out, "Oh God! Finally, something is coming in, hahahahaha." He buried his head in the food and when he finished eating and threw down his chopsticks, he was sweating a little.
Because there was only one plate, Na Chen felt that washing one plate was not enough to improve An He's dishwashing skills, so he took it to wash it himself.
An He sat leaning against the dining table, feeling a little more energetic after eating.
"What have you been doing these days? There's no news." After he recovered a little, he asked the question he had wanted to ask before.
"There's something going on at school and I'm also very busy. When I'm busy, I don't want to answer the phone." Na Chen put the plates away and began to slowly organize the seasoning bottles on the table.
Na Chen didn't tell the truth. An He originally thought that he was probably just like before, taking a stab now and then and not answering the phone, but Na Chen's calm answer made him feel that this was not the case.
"You..." He stood up and wanted to sit on the sofa when his cell phone rang.
It was an unfamiliar number. Before he could speak, a woman's voice came out from the other end: "Hello, is this Teacher An calling?"
"Yes, you are?" An He sat on the sofa, probably a student's parent.
Before her buttocks found a suitable place on the sofa, the woman suddenly raised her voice: "I'm telling you, there's nothing wrong with my daughter, don't mess with her!"
An He was stunned: "Your daughter..."
"Li Xiaojia, I'm Li Xiaojia's mother," the woman said in a bad tone, sounding a little angry, "My daughter is fine, she's not crazy! What the hell is going on in your school!"
An He remembered Li Xiaojia, a student in the class next to his. She was a very introverted girl. When the head teacher brought her to see him, the girl had been suffering from insomnia for half a month and looked very haggard. An He had to work hard to get her to speak, and he found out that it was probably because of a conflict between classmates.
This is not a big deal, but for a child like Li Xiaojia who is extremely sensitive and introverted and whose parents are not around for a long time, the problem will become more and more serious if he cannot relieve it.
"It's like this..." An He slowed down his tone and wanted to explain to Li Xiaojia's mother that some parents are open-minded, but some parents directly believe that receiving psychological counseling means being mentally ill.
But the other party did not give him a chance to speak, and said in a series of words: "I know my daughter well, she is just a little timid, there is nothing wrong with her! As a mother, don't I know better than you? Stop making trouble. The head teacher even called the parents to ask for cooperation. What are they cooperating with? I give her the best food, clothing and everything else, why should I cooperate with her! I think you are sick!"
After saying this, the other party hung up the phone. An He was silent for a long time before putting the phone aside.
Li Xiaojia probably won't come to him again. With the parents' attitude like this, the head teacher and he won't be able to say anything to Li Xiaojia. He doesn't know what will happen to the little girl if she continues like this.
"What's wrong?" Na Chen sat next to him and rubbed against him.
"I was scolded by the student's parents." An He smiled helplessly.
"How pitiful," Na Chen touched his head, "Parents like my parents are the best. They never cause trouble for teachers."
An He smiled and wanted to change the subject when his cell phone rang again.
"You haven't scolded enough?" Na Chen leaned over to look at the phone, "It's your mother calling."
"Mom?" An He glanced at the time and answered the phone. It was just past ten o'clock, and usually his mother would be playing mahjong at this time.
"If I'm dying in the future, don't bother me." My mother said bluntly.
An He was stunned, frowned and asked: "What?"
"I want a divorce," my mother said again, "I suddenly figured it out and had an epiphany."
An He almost dropped the phone in his hand. He stood up suddenly and asked, "What did you say?"
"I want a divorce, a divorce from An Zhifei." said my mother.
An He supported the table with his hands. Divorce
The author has something to say: Take a break tomorrow and continue on Saturday.
Don’t worry, there’s nothing cruel about this, there’s a lot of sweetness to come!