In the last class in the afternoon, An He sat on the sofa in the consultation room, sitting opposite a student's parent, a middle-aged woman with a tired face.
This student would steal money from home every week to buy all kinds of food and toys and distribute them to the whole class. He would also invite classmates to karaoke, to the amusement park, and to the Internet cafe.
An He had talked to this student before, a little girl with low self-esteem and introverted personality. She was abandoned by her grandparents, who had very poor financial conditions, since she was a child by her parents who were busy with business but never made any money. She was not taken home until she was in junior high school when her business became successful. She was well fed and well clothed. On the one hand, An He felt that he owed his child and tried desperately to make up for it. On the other hand, he placed all his hopes on the child and felt that the child could never meet their requirements.
But the child hardly communicated with them, became silent when she got home, and was unable to get along well with her classmates. She had no friends, no playmates, and even few people talked to her. She felt that only by spending money could she improve her relationship with her classmates.
"We owe her a lot, but we are trying our best to make it up to her. Why can't she appreciate our efforts at all? Aren't we doing this for her?" The woman said a few words and then lowered her head to wipe away her tears.
An He supported his forehead with his hand and listened to her talk, a little distracted. He had been suffering from insomnia for the past few days. His mind was like a mess and he couldn't concentrate.
"She is not close to us at all. We have to put on a smile to her every day when we come back home tired after a hard day..." the woman sighed.
"Childhood is very important for a person. Family affection is established at this stage," An He sorted out his thoughts and spoke slowly, "The impact of the serious lack of family affection at this stage on her is beyond your imagination... For a child, the company of parents is much more important than money..."
"Teacher An, she is just a child, how can it have any impact? Why would a child think so much?" The woman looked at him.
The most depressing comment to An He was “What do children know?” He smiled and said, “Children can think from the day they are born. They know how to express their wishes by crying, whether they want to eat or pee. As for whether they will think so much, you already know it. Facts have proved that they will think so much, and maybe even more.”
The woman was silent for a while and then sighed: "Now that she's older, she should be able to understand how hard it is for us. We have been trying to make it up to her."
"The problem lies in the compensation," An He still couldn't concentrate and had to pick up the cup to drink water. "Your so-called compensation keeps reminding her that you are sorry for her. On the one hand, you are sorry for her, and on the other hand, you still have various excessive demands on her, such as academic performance... You are working in the wrong direction."
After the woman left the consultation room saying thank you, An He lay down on the table and closed his eyes.
Most people in the school had left. He lay down for a few minutes, then stood up, went to the office, packed his things, and walked out of the school gate.
When he arrived at the entrance of the First Affiliated Hospital parking lot to get the card, a man came out from the side and stood by his passenger seat window.
An He took out the parking card, drove the car in, turned his head to take a look, then paused for a moment before stepping on the brakes and lowering the window.
"Your mom said she could see you here, but she couldn't get through to you on the phone," the man outside the car window looked at him and said, "Would you like to chat some time?"
"My phone is broken and hasn't been repaired yet," An He tapped the steering wheel with trembling fingers. "What's the matter? I'm busy. ﹎＞>雅>文吧﹎w`w·w=.=y`"
"Please stop the car first. It won't take much of your time." The man moved aside.
An He found a parking space and parked the car. When he got out of the car, the man walked towards him.
He leaned against the car door, and only smiled when the man walked up to him: "Long time no see, Dad."
Na Chen put the braised pork ribs and rice into the thermal box and covered it. When he went out, he took another look at the Q on the computer.
I'm going to Li Fan's house for rehearsal. I'll get you some food when I pass by the hospital. Come to the door at 8 o'clock.
The message he sent before five o'clock was still there in the dialog box, and An He did not reply.
He sighed softly. This guy's phone broke a few days ago and he didn't have time to buy a new one. These days, he could only chat with An He on QQ.
He looked at the time. If he went there now, he should be able to wait at the door before An He arrived at the hospital. If it was too late, he would have to look for people in each ward one by one.
He changed his clothes and went out with his insulated box. It was already the beginning of spring and the snow was melting outside, so it was still quite cold, but the air had the freshness and moisture unique to spring.
Na Chen took two deep breaths, got in the car and drove towards the entrance of the community.
As soon as he turned out of the gate, he stopped the car, propped his legs on the ground and frowned.
Lei Bo's Ford F150 was parked on the roadside ahead.
The car door opened and Lei Bo and his two followers got out.
"Where are you going?" Lei Bo walked to his car, held the handlebars and asked him with a smile.
"Go to Li Fan's house for rehearsal." Na Chen replied. Lei Bo's smile suddenly made him feel dangerous, especially when he didn't see Ge Jian who had been following Lei Bo. His uneasiness suddenly deepened.
"Really?" Lei Bo took the insulated box hanging on the handlebar and opened it. He closed his eyes and smelled it. "It smells really good. Who did you make it for?"
Na Chen was annoyed for a while, and said nothing. He took out a cigarette and lit it: "What's the matter?"
"It's okay, I was just passing by and was about to call you to ask you to go for dinner." Lei Bo smiled, took the thermal box, turned back to the car and closed the door.
The two followers stood there without moving, one on the left and one on the right side of the front of Na Chen's car. Na Chen didn't say anything either, just lowered his head and smoked.
After finishing a cigarette, he sat in the car in a daze.
The chill that came from the soles of my feet gradually spread from my legs to my whole body. The wind kept blowing, and my face felt a little numb. The strange pleasure brought by the cold wind before turned into a pungent pain this time.
When Lei Bo got out of the car and walked over again, Na Chen looked at the ground without raising his eyes.
"I'm full," Lei Bo put the thermos box back in his hand and wiped his mouth with a tissue. "You're really good at cooking. Let's go rehearse."
Na Chen still didn't say anything. He started the car and stepped on the accelerator.
"Then Chen," Leibo opened the car door, thought for a moment, stopped, turned his head and looked at him, "Let's do this."
Na Chen glanced at him, then suddenly stepped on the accelerator. The car made a loud noise and rushed out from behind Lei Bo with a gust of wind.
The car was driving very fast, and the rush hour after get off work had not yet passed. Na Chen slowed down before driving very far and turned onto a smaller road that led to Li Fan's home.
That's it.
He didn't know what Lei Bo meant by this.
So what
He couldn't say that he knew Lei Bo very well. Even though he had followed Lei Bo for these years, he was still outside of this man's life. He never did, and didn't want to get close to him.
Lei Bo can sometimes let go of things, but sometimes he will hold on to them tightly.
It is difficult to find the pattern of his two states. Lei Bo is an emotional person. Maybe he can let go of big things, but he will be angered by small things.
Lei Bo sat in the car but didn't drive. He watched Na Chen's car disappear at the intersection. He looked at Ge Jian who was sitting in the passenger seat and looking at the rearview mirror: "You drive."
"Yeah." Ge Jian got out of the car, exchanged seats with Lei Bo, and sat in the driver's seat.
"Go back." Lei Bo said, leaning back in his chair.
"Aren't you going for tea?" Ge Jian started the car. Lei Bo had made an appointment with someone to have tea in the evening.
"Drinking shit tea," Lei Bo closed his eyes, "I just ate too much and can't drink any more."
"Brother Lei," a follower in the back seat came over and asked in a low voice, "Do you want someone to follow you?"
"No need, it saves someone from having to remind me," Lei Bo said calmly, "He will come to me on his own."
"Can he figure it out?" The follower asked with some doubt.
"Stupid, even if some people go against me, I can tolerate it temporarily because they understand what I mean," Lei Bo opened his eyes and looked at Ge Jian, then turned his head and said to the back, "You two get off the car and settle the tea bill later."
Ge Jian pulled over and waited for the people in the back seat to get out before driving towards Lei Bo Villa.
"You say." Lei Bo closed his eyes again.
"Brother Lei, do you really want to do this?" Ge Jian hesitated for a moment, speaking with some difficulty, "You have been watching him for the past few years..."
"I hate him so much because I watched him grow up!" Lei Bo suddenly roared.
Ge Jian shut up and drove in silence.
After a while, Lei Bo suddenly smiled and said, "Ge Jian, have you suddenly found your conscience? Do you think you are the reason why Na Chen has become like this?"
"Brother Lei, you think too highly of me," Ge Jian said with a smile, "I'm not that conscious."
Lei Bo stared at him for a few seconds and closed his eyes again.
Ge Jian stopped talking. He would not say anything else. He wanted to protect himself. Lei Bo no longer cared whether Na Chen could figure it out or not.
When the car stopped at the garage door of Li Fan's house, it was not yet the time agreed upon by the band. Li Fan was cleaning the garage, sweeping out the cigarette butts from their last rehearsal.
He sat in the car and watched Li Fan bending over and sweeping all the way out of the garage.
"So early today?" Li Fan turned around and asked him.
"Well, I went out early." He felt his pocket and found that the cigarette box was empty. "Do you have any cigarettes?"
Li Fan threw the cigarette to him: "What's wrong? You look so bad."
"Is it ugly?" Na Chen leaned over to the rearview mirror and took a look. "Hasn't my face always been like this?"
"What happened?" Li Fan bent down and stared at his face. "Do you want Brother Fan to comfort you?"
Na Chen blew a puff of smoke at Li Fan's face: "Brother, do you feel that people like me are troublesome wherever I go?"
"It's no trouble to come here," Li Fan coughed twice and smiled, "What trouble did you run into?"
"I don't know, I don't know yet." Na Chen lowered his head.
"What's this?" Li Fan saw the thermos box. "You brought me some food?"
"Empty." Na Chen got out of the car, took down the thermal box and threw it into the trash can next to him.
The drum that Lei Bo gave him was placed in a corner of the garage. Na Chen went over, picked up the drumstick, and struck it a few times. Then he sat down on the stool and leaned against the wall in a daze.
"Why don't we cancel it today?" Li Fan followed in. "Let's go have a drink."
"I'm not in the mood." Na Chen leaned against the wall without moving, his arms hanging at his sides, the drumstick in his hand gently scratching the ground.
"You are..." Li Fan took out his cigarette from his pocket and lit it, "Is it a periodic seizure, or is it something unexpected?"
Na Chen smiled.
For a moment, he had the urge to tell Li Fan about these things, but in the end he suppressed the urge. There was no point in telling Li Fan because no one could help him with this matter and no one could give him any advice.
"Say it again." An He stood beside the car, clenching his fists.
"You're already this old, why are you still so childish?" His father looked at him with an expression of incomprehension, "She and I should have divorced a long time ago. Isn't it just for you that we have been dragging it out for so many years?"
"For me?" An He walked up to his father and stood in front of him, his hands shaking from clenching his fists too hard. "What have you done for me? For me? Do you remember how old I am this year? Do you remember how long it has been since you went home? Do you remember what you did every time you went home? Do you remember what you did outside when you were not home? Now you're saying it's for me?"
An He suddenly felt like laughing. He stared into his father's eyes and said word by word: "You didn't even beat me for me! When you beat me, it was just because you had nowhere to vent your anger! For me?"
"Whatever you say, I think it's good that your mother has come to her senses, and this matter should be resolved," Dad frowned, "She insisted that I tell you, and I think it's right, I should tell you, she told me to come find you, she's waiting for you to kill me..."
My dad sneered at this point: "Tell me, with someone who can say such crazy things, how can I and her not end up like this?"
"This is not crazy talk." An He grabbed his collar, his voice was deep, but every word was clear, "You'd better leave before I kill you."
"What did you say?"
"I'll let you," An He loosened his hand and pushed him hard on the chest, "Get out!"
Grandpa was lying on the hospital bed, with half the bottle of medicine still in the IV at the bedside. An He sat beside the bed in a daze.
Grandpa wasn't in as good a state today as he was in the past few days and didn't say much.
An He never liked hospitals. All he saw were tired and listless people, and the air was filled with a depressing atmosphere.
His mind felt a little numb. He tried hard to clear his mind and stared at the white sheet on his grandfather for a long time, but he couldn't do it. His mind was in a mess and he didn't know what he was thinking.
I just feel tired.
When the visiting time was up, An He stood up. His grandfather had fallen asleep. He walked out of the ward, stayed in the corridor for a while, and then slowly walked out of the inpatient department.
When he returned to his place, the lights in the room did not make him feel at ease. He took a bath and felt like he would fall asleep soon while lying in the bathtub. In order to avoid drowning in the tub, he got up and wanted to go back to bed.
But an hour later he was still lying in bed with his eyes wide open. The feeling of being extremely sleepy but tossing and turning and being unable to fall asleep made him feel a little overwhelmed.
He stood up, took the medicine from the drawer and wanted to take it, but after hesitating for a long time, he put the medicine back. He has always been very careful in this regard.
After squatting by the bed for a long time, he walked to the computer and sat down.
He turned on the computer but didn't know what to do, so he opened QQ to see if Na Chen was asleep.
The gray avatar of Chen on q was jumping, and he clicked it.
Looking at Na Chen's message, he was stunned for a long time.
Did Nachen go to the hospital to wait for him today
He quickly stood up and took his clothes and put them into his pockets, wanting to call Na Chen to ask him something. After searching for a long time, he remembered that he hadn't had a phone in the past few days.
"Fuck." An He stood where he was.
Five minutes later he put on his clothes, went downstairs, ran to the door booth and asked the security guard to borrow a cell phone.
An He was a little hesitant when dialing the number. He felt that he might not be able to dial the right number for Na Chen, but to his surprise, he heard a familiar ringtone after dialing the number.
The call was answered quickly, but when the voice on the other end said "Hello", it was not Nachen's.
Wrong number? An He tried to ask, "Is this Na Chen's call?"
"Yes, you are..."
"Li Fan?" An He recognized the voice as Li Fan's. "I'm An He."
"Teacher An, have you changed your number? Well, Nachen got drunk and fell asleep here at my place," Li Fan said, "How about I wake him up for you?"
"No, no, let him sleep, I'm fine," An He smiled, feeling a sense of loss, followed by an indescribable depression and irritability, "Hang up."
Back in the house, An He turned on the TV, sat on the sofa, and stared at the TV in a daze, smoking a cigarette.
A funny sitcom was replaying on TV. He turned up the volume quite loud, and the sound of the audience's laughter echoed in the room... He still felt lonely.
Even though Na Chen disrupted his rhythm and destroyed his peace, no matter whether he felt good or bad, Na Chen had already seeped into his life bit by bit.
This was the first time that he felt a strong desire to have Na Chen by his side when he was feeling down.
But just like he knew Na Chen's attitude towards him but didn't know when he would suddenly go crazy, he knew that Na Chen would come over as long as he said a word but didn't know when Na Chen, who had a good alcohol tolerance, would suddenly get so drunk that he couldn't even answer the phone.
Anhe lowered his head, supported his knees with his arms, and sighed softly.
After a sleepless night, An He finally leaned back on the sofa and dozed off until almost five o'clock.
His biological clock ignored his sleeping hours and still woke him up at the usual time. After washing up, he went out with a stuffy head.
I have to find time to buy a new mobile phone at noon today.
For safety reasons, he did not drive but took a taxi to school.
He had class in the third period today. After walking around the classroom during morning self-study, he crossed the playground and slowly walked towards the office building.
When passing by the principal's office, Jiang Xiao was standing at the window holding a glass of water. Seeing him, he called out, "Teacher An, do you have no classes this morning?"
"Good morning, Principal Jiang," An He adjusted his facial expression, "My class doesn't start until the third period."
"That's perfect. I thought you had classes in the morning, so I wanted to see you in the afternoon," Jiang Xiaozhao waved, "Come in for a moment."
After An He entered the office, Principal Jiang closed the door behind him.
"Is there something?" An He turned around and glanced at Jiang Xiao.
"I have something to ask," Principal Jiang sat behind his desk, took out a courier envelope from the drawer and placed it on the table, "Take a look at this first."
An He went over and picked up the envelope. There were only two photos in it. He glanced at Jiang Xiao and took out the photos.
After seeing the photo clearly, he froze in place, his whole body instantly turning cold.
The author has something to say: Come on!
To be continued tomorrow.