An He did not say anything, nor did he wake Na Chen up. He just stood at the bedside and watched quietly for a while. After thinking for a while, he took out his phone from his pocket. It was so rare to see Na Chen so quiet like a good child. He wanted to keep a memory. ＿ Ya﹎文8 ﹍﹍﹏ w=ww=.
He pressed the shutter button towards Na Chen's face, and the phone made a click! The sound was particularly loud and crisp in the quiet ward.
"Damn it!" An He quickly grabbed his phone and practiced light skills to retreat from the ward.
There was no stool in the corridor, and An He stood against the wall for more than twenty minutes, then saw Li Fan coming back with a lunch box.
"Didn't go in?" Li Fan glanced into the ward.
"In and out again." An He smiled.
"Didn't wake him up?" Li Fan was a little surprised, but seemed relieved.
"No." An He looked at him. He knew what Li Fan was worried about. "I'm leaving."
"Do you want to tell him you've been here?" Li Fan tapped the lid of the lunch box gently.
"No need." An He turned around, took two steps, stopped, and turned back. "Tell him that what I said will not change."
"Hmm...wait a minute," Li Fan stopped him, "how did you find me?"
"Yeah, how did I find you?" An He crossed his arms and thought. Li Fan thought with him face to face. After thinking for a few minutes, he snapped his fingers and pointed at Li Fan, "You make it up."
"I..." Before Li Fan finished speaking, An He had already strode towards the stairs. He frowned and said, "I have been making up lies recently..."
Li Fan entered the ward, put the lunch box on the small cabinet beside the bed, bent down and got close to Na Chen's face and stared at him for a while, hesitating whether to wake him up to eat now or later.
"What?" Na Chen suddenly opened his eyes.
"Fuck!" Li Fan was startled and sat down on the small stool next to him. "I knew it! Have you been awake all the time?"
"I woke up for a while." Na Chen closed his eyes again.
"When did you wake up?" Li Fan asked tentatively.
"When you go out to buy food."
"Oh," Li Fan took the lunch box and opened it, "Do you want to eat now?"
"He's gone?" Na Chen sighed softly and asked with his eyes closed.
"Well," Li Fan nodded, "I left you a message, saying that what he said will not change."
Na Chen smiled and said, "I understand."
An He started the car. After knowing Na Chen's situation, he breathed a sigh of relief and leaned back in his seat, feeling an indescribable sense of relaxation.
He could tell from Li Fan's attitude that Na Chen probably didn't want him to show up at this time. Whether it was to deal with other things or to "repair himself", Na Chen didn't want him to know. With Na Chen's personality and stubbornness, he probably wanted to contact him after this process.
He lit a cigarette, opened the car window and smoked slowly, "Then I'll wait for you. You can show up whenever you are willing to do so."
After finishing his cigarette, An He drove out of the parking lot. It was not yet seven o'clock, so he could go to Lin Ruoxue and have a meal.
When he arrived at Lin Ruoxue's consulting room, Lin Ruoxue was the only one in the office. She was eating a box of cookies. When she saw him come in, Lin Ruoxue patted the cookie crumbs on her hands and asked, "Why are you here early?"
"Dinner?" An He pointed at the cookies in her hand.
"Well, have you eaten yet?" Lin Ruoxue handed him the biscuit tube and took a box of milk and put it on the table, "Come, let's have a drink."
"You disappoint me so much..." An He took the milk and sat on the sofa opposite her.
"I'm on a diet. If you haven't eaten yet, go out and eat. It's not time yet anyway." Lin Ruoxue waved her hand. ﹏﹎＞>﹎雅文吧w=ww.
"Let's chat. I'm in a good mood right now." An He smiled.
"Okay," Lin Ruoxue played some soothing music, turned off the computer monitor, and sat on the sofa, "Don't you have to go to the hospital to accompany grandpa today?"
"Well, I told the nurse that I won't be going today," An He poked the straw into the milk carton and played back and forth with the piano. He was silent for a while before speaking, "My parents are divorced."
"Well, how does it feel?" Lin Ruoxue asked him.
"It was extremely uncomfortable at the beginning, as if the world was falling apart." An He frowned.
"Do you feel like all your expectations over the years have been dashed?"
"Yes." An He leaned back on the sofa.
"Actually, think about it, whether they get divorced or not, it doesn't really make any substantial change for you, right?" Lin Ruoxue placed an ashtray in front of him.
An He lit a cigarette: "Well, that's it. Whether they divorce or not, nothing has changed. I just don't want to think about it. Avoiding is a habit, and it's much easier than facing it."
"If it really happens, it's no big deal, and it won't actually have any impact on you." Lin Ruoxue added.
An Hyuk flicked the ash off his cigarette with a smile, and that was it.
The two chatted about this and that. When An He put out his second cigarette, Lin Ruoxue drank a sip of milk and said, "You should have a relationship."
"Yeah," An He stretched and put his legs on the coffee table, "Yeah."
"Giving love is a pleasant experience," Lin Ruoxue looked at him, "You told me this before, and I've always remembered it."
"Don't you say that you always forget things when you get old? How can you still remember this?" An He laughed.
"Remember the good things and forget the unhappy things. People have to choose to throw away their burdens before they can move forward." Lin Ruoxue also took the cigarette and lit it. "What a philosophy, Mr. An, if I hadn't talked to you, I wouldn't be able to say such pretentious words. It's totally not my style."
"I ran into that guy a while ago. Come to think of it, the only thing I remember is the hurt." An He lowered his head and said softly.
"Who then?"
"Just... that person."
"Who?" Lin Ruoxue stared at him and asked, "Who?"
An He raised his eyes and looked at her for a while. When he said that name, he felt his heart suddenly become empty.
There was no pain as I had imagined, nor was there the relief I had expected. It was just like I had stepped on empty air and was hit by a ball. After the disappointment, I regained my composure.
It was just past nine when he came out of Lin Ruoxue's office. The street was still quite busy. Lin Ruoxue waved at him while straddling her electric car: "Remember to smile at the mirror every morning when you wake up."
"Well," An He smiled, "Do you want me to take you there?"
"No, the weather isn't that cold anymore, and spring has been here for quite a while," Lin Ruoxue clapped her hands, "Haven't you noticed? The trees are sprouting new buds, a layer of green hair."
"The mood is gone as soon as you say anything. Let's go quickly and be careful." An He smiled and got into his car.
It has been a while since the beginning of spring, but he has never noticed whether there are any new buds on the trees. He only knows that the small bushes on the isolation zone seem to be covered with a layer of tender green blanket.
He did not suffer from insomnia that night. Although his sleep was not sound and he kept dreaming, when he woke up in the morning, he found that the fatigue on his body was not as strong as he had imagined.
He got out of bed, walked to the window and opened the curtains. The mental exhaustion was even more unbearable.
It was a little early, and the sunlight outside the window was not very bright, only a thin layer on the roof of the building. An He looked downstairs and saw that there were indeed dots of green on the branches.
He walked into the bathroom, looked in the mirror, and grinned at himself.
Talking to the mirror is a bit silly, but it is a very effective psychological cue. He rubbed his face and said, "The past is over and no longer affects me. Now I am in a good mood every day and I can handle everything in a snap. Oh yeah."
There was no big change in the days. Going to get off work and coming home, attending classes and going home, going to the hospital to accompany grandpa, everything was repetitive. But An He deliberately controlled himself not to think too much about these things. When he was tired and irritated, he would go back to take a bath, watch a movie, and go to bed on time.
A change in mindset will change everything that seems to be unchanged.
The chill of early spring gradually faded away. Every day when he opened the curtains, An He could see more green leaves on the trees downstairs. It was the first time he discovered that new leaves grew at such an amazing speed.
The black tree trunk that could be seen not long ago is now covered with tender green leaves. An He took out his camera and zoomed in on the tree trunk. He looked at it for a long time before putting the camera down.
Na Chen, how are you
It has been two months since he last went to the hospital, and Na Chen has not contacted him since. No phone calls, no text messages, and his QQ profile picture has always been gray.
An He sat on the sofa, picked up a cookbook and slowly flipped through it.
This recipe comes in a series. The one An He bought is said to be suitable for cooking novices. With half an hour a day, they can cook for themselves and have enough food and clothing.
But after watching it for a few days, he felt that it was all bullshit. It would take him half an hour just to prepare the ingredients, not counting the time spent buying vegetables. The washing and cutting time made him despair.
However, in order not to cause trouble to the cremator in a few decades, he still plans to grit his teeth and learn to cook by himself and draw a clear line between himself and preservatives.
He walked into the kitchen holding the book. Today he planned to make braised lion's head according to the recipe. In order to save time, he bought the minced meat directly from the supermarket and started to mix the meat according to the instructions in the book.
After struggling for ten minutes, the meat filling still didn't take shape, let alone make it into a ball. I couldn't even make it into a pancake. The bowl of meat looked like it had been hit by a bone-dissolving palm.
An He frowned and said, "Let's have some mapo tofu."
After another twenty minutes of clanging and clattering in the kitchen like a war, he put a plate of Mapo Tofu with so much minced meat that it covered the tofu on the table. It smelled delicious, so he tried a bite. He turned around and poured himself a glass of boiled water, as this dish had to be eaten with water.
After finishing the meal, he could taste nothing in his mouth except saltiness and numbness.
After clearing away the dishes and chopsticks, he marked a time on the calendar: when will the chef come to compete
There was still no news from Na Chen. An He took out his cell phone and flipped through the three photos of Na Chen.
He said that Na Chen could contact him whenever he needed him, but Na Chen never contacted him once. It was as if he had disappeared from the face of the earth for more than two months and there was no news from him at all.
He sighed and turned on the TV. This kid is really a long-term person.
He turned on the timer and set a reminder for the day before his birthday. If Nachen hadn't contacted him by then, he planned to go find Nachen.
There are still two months left, that should be enough. No matter how big your lung capacity is, it's time to breathe.
The cell phone rang when An He was about to fall asleep. He picked up the phone with his eyes half closed. His heart sank when he saw the number. It was a call from the nurse.
"Brother Li, what's the matter?" An He answered the phone and jumped off the bed.
"Grandpa's condition has suddenly become a little bad... He is in critical condition," the nurse said anxiously, "You'd better come over. The hospital has called your second aunt and the others."
Anhe didn't even bother to put on his socks. He just put on his clothes and ran out. His grandfather was not in good condition during this period. He couldn't eat and had a fever twice, but he was basically able to control it. He didn't expect to receive such a call suddenly.
When he arrived at the hospital, his second aunt and uncle had just arrived. When they saw him, they shouted, "How come your mother's phone is turned off? She didn't answer when I called her, and then she turned it off! She's not going to do anything about it even though it's like this! Are you human?"
"Let's deal with this first. I'll go home to see my mother tomorrow." An He frowned.
An He stayed in the hospital all night, watching the doctors and nurses coming in and out. My second aunt kept wiping away tears and cursing my mother under her breath.
At daybreak, the doctor talked to the family and found out that grandpa's condition had not improved and he would not survive for more than a few days in the ICU.
An He couldn't describe his mood, he just felt uncomfortable. The sight of this little old man, with whom he had never spent a few days since childhood, lying on the hospital bed with his eyes closed made him feel uncomfortable.
It was not until dawn that he left the hospital, called the school to ask for leave, and drove back home.
When he took out the key to open the door, he found that the lock had been changed by his mother at some point. He sighed and knocked on the door a few times.
The door opened quickly and my mother stood behind it with a pale face, looking like she had not slept all night.
"Mom..." An He held her shoulders, "Are you okay?"
"I won't go to the hospital. I won't go," my mother said softly. "I don't dare to go. No matter what they say, I don't dare to go. Don't force me to go."
"I know, I know." An He hugged his mother and patted her back gently.
"You hate me, really. It's okay if you hate me." My mother's words were a little confusing.
"I really don't hate it," An He said, "It's all in the past... There's nothing that can't be overcome."
Until my grandfather passed away, my mother never went to the hospital. An He did not force her, but just ran around to take care of my grandfather's affairs.
Only after confirming the cremation time did he call his mother.
"Where is he now?" Mom asked after a long silence.
"funeral parlor."
"Do you have time? I want to go and have a look."
"When there's time," An He said, "I'll pick you up."
It had been raining these past few days. When An He was sitting in the car, waiting for his mother to come downstairs, he turned off the wipers and soon the windshield was covered with raindrops.
Even in the car, An He could still smell the fresh smell of earth wrapped in the rain.
My mother got in the car and sat in the passenger seat in silence. An He reached out and helped her fasten her seat belt: "Shall we go?"
My mother nodded and lowered her head to press her red and swollen eyes: "Anhe."
"Hmm?" An He responded.
"Are you in love?" asked my mother.
An He glanced at her and smiled: "Why do you suddenly ask this?"
"Just asking casually, I feel like you've changed recently." Mom turned her head and looked out the window.
"People will always change, it just depends on what kind of person they become." An He smiled and said nothing else.
The funeral home was very quiet, with a faint scent of incense and candles floating in the rain and fog.
An He held an umbrella and hugged his mother as they walked through a long path lined with pine and cypress trees. He had called the staff before and was told that someone would be waiting for them at the door and that they could go see their grandfather after registering.
At the end of the road is a row of steps. From afar, I saw someone standing on the steps holding a black umbrella. He must be waiting for their staff.
"That's it." Anhe said.
"Yeah." Mom nodded, but her pace suddenly slowed down.
When we reached the bottom of the stairs, my mother burst into tears.
"Auntie, I'm sorry," the person standing on the steps came down and greeted them, "Are you here to see Grandpa Chen?"
An He nodded, then froze, staring at the wet bluestone steps. After a while, he raised his head and saw the man in a black suit holding a black umbrella.
"Then..." He opened his mouth, not knowing what to say for a moment.
"Come with me," Nachen bowed slightly, "Be careful of the slippery stairs."
An He supported his mother and followed him inside. His mind was in a mess. He never expected to meet Na Chen, whom he hadn't seen for several months.
He stared at Na Chen's back. This was the first time he saw Na Chen in formal attire. The strange yet familiar feeling made his breathing a little uneven.
Na Chen led them into the morgue, confirmed their identities again, opened the cabinet that held Grandpa, and stepped aside: "We can't wait too long, the temperature change will have an impact."
My mother took a step forward, and when she saw my grandfather, she covered her face with her hands and leaned on An He, crying: "Dad... I'm sorry... I'm sorry..."
An He hugged his mother tightly. His mother could hardly stand. He had to help her walk out: "Let's go."
Na Chen closed the cabinet and followed them out.
His mother cried very sadly. From childhood to adulthood, An He had never seen her like this. He silently hugged his mother's shoulders and didn't bother to turn around and say anything to Na Chen.
When they reached the car, my mother pushed him away and said, "I don't want to ride in the car. I want to walk for a while."
"Then I'll accompany you..." An He locked the car again.
"No need," Mom wiped her eyes, took the umbrella from his hand, lowered her head and strode forward, "I want to be alone, I can just walk back slowly, don't follow me."
An He didn't say anything. He followed his mother out of the funeral home and watched her slowly merge into the crowd on the street. He stood there for a long time without moving.
The raindrops gradually became heavier. He sighed softly and looked down at the small puddle at his feet.
The raindrops falling on his body suddenly disappeared. An He raised his head and saw a black umbrella blocking his head.
"Hi." Na Chen stood beside him and said softly with a smile.
"…Hi." An He hesitated for a moment and smiled at him.
"My name is Nachen," Nachen looked at him, "What's yours?"
An He opened his mouth and wanted to say that he hadn't seen you for a few months and your crazy behavior hadn't changed at all, but in the end he still said, "My name is An He."
"I get off work at five," Na Chen looked down at his watch, "still twenty minutes."
"Ah? Oh," An He was stunned, "I'll treat you to a meal?"
"Okay," Na Chen nodded and handed him the umbrella, "Wait for me in the car, I'll change my clothes."
"Um."
Na Chen turned around and walked back. After taking a few steps, he suddenly started running, jumping and skipping along the road and soon disappeared.
Only then did An He come to his senses, put down the umbrella in his hand, raised his face to face the raindrops and let out a long sigh.
The author has something to say: This is officially the beginning of the sweetness, actually it wouldn’t be bad to end it here, too.
By the way, about Na Chen’s age… The author, who always lacks logic, is a little confused. He is 20 years old, and there is nothing wrong with him doing internship as a junior… The key is that it was mentioned before that he started school two years later, so this is a bit wrong. Anyway, just ignore it. After I finish it, I will change the previous two years later to one year later and it will make sense, cough.
In addition, I know that some people are waiting for Teacher An to collect the debt, but I have to tell you sadly that I just received a notice a few days ago that they want crabs, and this time the crabs are not *local crabs, they are big crabs. If you are caught, the consequences will be very serious. You can see the labels of the current gay crossover, it seems that "The Evil Road of Love and Revenge" has been changed to "Inspirational Life", so... let's all drink water together, I love you.