"I… "
Before Zhuang Fanxin could say a single word, all the boys in the third class rushed forward in a mighty manner, those with soda bottles and those with stainless steel plates, as if they were ready to fight in groups.
Everyone was blocked outside, but the yaksa of the basketball team were not seen. Gu Zhuoyan and Zhuang Fanxin were standing opposite each other, and the atmosphere seemed to be a little sad. Zhuang Fanxin woke up suddenly, backed away, glanced at Gu Zhuoyan, then turned away and ran away.
Gu Zhuoyan was so aggrieved that his body swayed, and when he said it, his attitude was like a soft jade in the hands of a gentleman, his posture was so low that he fell into the dust, even a stubborn stone would tremble slightly.
Zhuang Fan's heart trembled, and the tip of his nose turned red, but he ran away without saying anything. Looking at the group of "culprits", Gu Zhuoyan said weakly: "Everyone is gone."
The sports committee asked: "What's the situation? I clearly saw you with the basketball team?"
Gu Zhuoyan didn't understand what was going on, he just said it was all right, pinched the cigarette butt, and returned to the classroom for lunch break with a cold expression. When I entered the door, I saw Zhuang Fanxin lying on his stomach with his earphones plugged in, and he seemed to be even more evasive.
So stalemate until after school, Zhuang Fanxin packed his schoolbag and water bottle early, ran away as soon as the bell rang, and was chased by Xia Wei and scolded "impatient".
Gu Zhuoyan knew very well, so he didn't go after him, afraid that Zhuang Fanxin was riding his bicycle in a panic, and something went wrong. He deliberately slowed down, arrived at the small intersection a quarter of an hour later than usual, and ran into Zhuang Xianyang getting off work. The other party was answering the phone and said to do his homework well.
"Uncle, are you Fanxin?"
"It's him, he said to go to a friend's house to sleep for the night."
Zhuang Fanxin went to find Pei Zhi, bought a KFC family bucket halfway, and walked in as if he was happy to be a guest. The house was quiet, and Grandma Pei Zhi was invited to Shanghai for an exchange, just the two of them.
When I just returned to China, I had saved a lot of courses, and Pei Zhi asked, "Do you have anything to do with me?"
Zhuang Fanxin nodded, his low eyebrows pleasing to the eye, and he looked even more pitiful than the homeless in the underground passage. Pei Zhi was hungry, so he pulled open the bucket of the whole family, took a spicy wing and said, "Don't you like McDonald's?"
"I won't eat McDonald's in the future." Zhuang Fanxin has a psychological shadow over the birthplace of the misunderstanding.
He took a sip of Coke and finally said, "I have a friend who is a boy. He was confessed by another boy recently. He doesn't know what to do."
Pei Zhi nibbled at the spicy wings: "Who confessed to you?"
With a puff, Zhuang Fan spit out a sip of Coke: "What's up with me! Don't guess! It's my friend!" After becoming angry, he was afraid that the other party would get angry, and his tone softened, "You have experience, please help me... my friend. ."
Pei Zhi said: "What experience do I have, if I am not gay, I will refuse. If it is gay, I will refuse if I don't like it. If I like it, I will try it out."
Here's the problem, Zhuang Fan said in a low voice, "I'm not sure if it's gay or not."
Pei Zhi threw away the chicken bones, wiped his hands, and held his chin like a fool. Zhuang Fan felt embarrassed and explained that this friend had never been in a relationship or liked anyone. He was usually busy with painting and learning how to weed, and he didn't even play games.
After explaining, he was stunned, and it seemed that it had been exposed. Pei Zhi asked with great interest, "Who has confessed to you? Is it your neighbor?"
Zhuang Fan was shocked and said, "How do you know it's him?!"
Pei Zhi smiled. When Gu Zhuoyan was working as a model in the studio, he always stared at Zhuang Fanxin, and he thought that look was unusual at the time. During the game, Zhuang Fanxin made calls from overseas, day and night, if Gu Zhuoyan didn't like his patience.
Nothing was unexpected, Pei Zhi asked back, "Why do you think so much?"
How could he not think about it, Zhuang Fanxin wasn't sure if he was gay or not, and he couldn't be sloppy about it. If he wasn't, wouldn't it be cheating gay feelings
Pei Zhi asked, "How did you feel when you saw me kissing a man?"
Zhuang Fan recalled in his heart that he was both shocked and frightened at the time, one was really unexpected, and the other was that Pei Zhi had always been gentle and sensible, and his appearance was almost subversive. After he answered, he looked at Pei Zhi nervously, as if the patient submitted his symptoms to the doctor and waited for the doctor to judge his condition.
Pei Zhi was silent for a while, but did not pronounce the sentence, and asked again, "Do you know what it feels like to like it?"
Zhuang Fan's heart was dying: "I don't know."
He was seventeen years old and vaguely understood, but somehow he wanted to hear what Pei Zhi said. Pei Zhi looked at him and said: "Like it seems like it can't be seen or touched, but it's actually very practical. You will want to see him, you will be happy when you see him, you will miss him if you don't see him, you want to tell him whether you are happy or sad, you can't help but pay attention to him, Care about him, if something happens to him, you will be more nervous than anyone else. If he is close to you, you will not reject him, but your heart will beat fast, and your physical response will never deceive anyone. And if he ignores you, you will know if you taste it."
This paragraph is very long and scattered, each sentence wedged into Zhuang Fanxin's body like a nail, nailing him on the spot, and the whole person became tense and stiff. Pei Zhi lowered his eyes and lowered his voice, rustling: "If he wants to leave..."
Zhuang Fan's heart suddenly softened, and that was Pei Zhi's pain point, but he seemed to feel the same way. Today, when Gu Zhuoyan said that he would leave in a year, he still remembers the feeling at the moment.
The two of them slowed down, and then Zhuang Fan explained a lot in his heart. The misunderstanding between him and Gu Zhuoyan from beginning to end, how he hid in the past two days, and what Gu Zhuoyan said at noon, all remained intact. Gu Zhuoyan's appearance when he was smoking could not help but make him feel sore and distressed, feeling like a scumbag.
After a night of sleep at Pei Zhi's house, Zhuang Fanxin went to school the next day and met Gu Zhuoyan getting off the taxi at the school gate. Gu Zhuoyan held the book, looked up to see him, paused for a while, and then strode into the school gate.
Zhuang Fanxin pushed his bicycle and squeezed in the crowd. He didn't have to hide, and Gu Zhuoyan avoided him, but he didn't feel the slightest reassurance. A car wheel hit his calf behind him, someone in the garage grabbed his seat, climbed the stairs in the Science Building, and was knocked down on the handrail by a few slapstick boys.
Zhuang Fan absentmindedly walked to the classroom, entered through the back door, and his eyes happened to be unbiased at the last table. He didn't detour, walked over, silently stopped at Gu Zhuoyan's table. People looked down at the book, and he said in a low voice, "Are you going to take a taxi in the future?"
Gu Zhuoyan said "um": "I can still read books on the way."
When the bell rang, Zhuang Fanxin went to the podium to organize the morning reading. His eyes were uncontrollable, and he couldn't help but drift to the back, while Gu Zhuoyan was like an iron wall, keeping his eyes down all morning.
Zhuang Fan couldn't bear it, and wanted to wait for Gu Zhuoyan to poke people's thighs when he passed his seat, so as to break the deadlock. .
He took the opportunity to talk when he wanted to finish his homework, and Gu Zhuoyan passed the homework over in advance. He took a broom and pretended to sweep the floor. Gu Zhuoyan got up and hid in the corridor. Sitting under a tree with a word book, not even doing sports!
Gu Zhuoyan said that he would do it. He would not ride a bicycle or approach Zhuang Fanxin. This was the case at school, and he would not be seen at home. Zhuang Fan's bowels were black with regret, and he didn't know how to live this week. On Friday, he finally found an opportunity in the cafeteria at noon and sat down next to Gu Zhuoyan.
The two servings of claypot rice were steaming hot, and Zhuang Fan said nervously, "You also eat beef brisket, what a coincidence."
Gu Zhuoyan turned over the rice grains with a spoon and ate it immediately. The rice and meat that had just been cooked in the casserole would be so hot that the mouth would lose consciousness. Zhuang Fan was so shocked that he grabbed Gu Zhuoyan's arm and couldn't help shouting, "You're crazy! It's hot! Hurry up and spit it out!"
There was no water on the table, so Zhuang Fanxin grabbed the drink that Qi Nan had just bought, but Gu Zhuoyan refused to take it.
Zhuang Fan's heart was stunned, he was struck by thunder and struck by electricity, and he didn't recover until the pot of claypot rice turned cold. To avoid him to this extent, perhaps Gu Zhuoyan complained that he would not agree, and that he was angry and hated him, and he couldn't say anything about it.
He guessed wildly, and when he thought about it, he felt scared.
Gu Zhuoyan took a lunch break with his arms on his back, his mouth was sore and numb, and the mucous membrane on his tongue was burnt off. He took a nap and woke up with a box of watermelon cream and a box of mint lozenges on the corner of the table. And a box of xylitol. It seems that he is desperately ill and goes to the doctor, and it seems that he is concerned and confused.
As soon as he looked up, the twisted heads in the third row spun back.
Zhuang Fanxin sat in the cafeteria until he gave up. When he returned to the classroom, he saw Gu Zhuoyan's red lips, and he forgot all about it. Ma Liuer asked the school doctor to prescribe a few boxes of medicine. It was only when he put it on the table that he noticed that Gu Zhuoyan was not wearing the bracelet he gave.
And if he ignores you, you will know if you taste it.
He got it.
During the evening self-study, the representatives of each subject handed out review papers, and Xia Wei sat behind the podium and talked about the arrangement of the mid-term exam. Glancing at Zhuang Fanxin, he said, "You have missed a lot of classes, and you can't make up for them in an hour and a half. How do you feel about class this week?"
Zhuang Fanxin answered honestly, "I don't understand very well."
Xia Wei was also worried, and suddenly remembered that Gu Zhuoyan and Zhuang Fanxin were neighbors, and asked, "Gu Zhuoyan, if you have time on the weekends, can you help Zhuang Fanxin make up the lessons?"
Zhuang Fan clenched his pen in his heart, waiting for the answer to be longer than a class. In the end, Gu Zhuoyan said it well and said it very lightly, as if the teacher had no choice but to agree reluctantly.
After school, Gu Zhuoyan was still working on the papers. Zhuang Fanxin waited while writing the workbook, but was a little scared. He wrote a few questions and turned his face to look, afraid that Gu Zhuoyan would leave him behind.
The classmates gradually disappeared, and the corridor was silent, leaving only the two of them inside and out. After Gu Zhuoyan finished writing the last question, he got up and stood in front of the desk to pack his schoolbag. Just after the zipper was closed, Zhuang Fan came over, hesitantly paced, with a cautious test.
"Let's go?" He didn't dare to ask loudly.
Gu Zhuoyan said, "I'll turn off the lights and help me pour out the water."
Zhuang Fan thought that Gu Zhuoyan would ignore him, his eyes lit up, like a neglected puppy regained favor. But he pretended to be more aggressive than the puppy, didn't say anything, unscrewed the water bottle and poured the remaining water into the potted plant on the windowsill.
The lights were dimmed one by one, and only one light was scattered. Zhuang Fan finished pouring water, and when he heard Gu Zhuoyan's footsteps approaching, he turned around and said, "Let's go together—"
The ending sound turned into an exclamation, Zhuang Fanxin was picked up lightly, and his arms subconsciously wrapped around Gu Zhuoyan's neck. Gu Zhuoyan put him on the window sill, squeezed his knees and stuck him in the middle of his legs, blocking him, and his face was darkened by the monotonous light.
Zhuang Fan was stunned: "What's wrong?"
Gu Zhuoyan said, "Let's talk."
The tone was cold and incompatible with the intimate posture at the moment, Zhuang Fan was afraid that Gu Zhuoyan would let go of him in the next second, so he tightened the ring. Gu Zhuoyan put his hands on the windowsill: "What else are you dissatisfied with?"
Zhuang Fanxin leaned against the glass window: "I don't have one."
"Don't you? You don't like me, I don't force you, you hide from me, I don't want to see you, I hide from you in order to make you comfortable, and in the end you provoke me again, what do you want?"
Zhuang Fan panicked: "I didn't want to understand—"
"Wait until you understand that Taiwan has returned?" Gu Zhuoyan changed his tone, arrogant and strong, as if he was tortured to extract a confession, "At the beginning, you didn't determine the reason for my transfer, but you said you knew it, causing me to misunderstand, and then you were in a hypothetical situation. Not paying attention to proportions, acting like a spoiled child, touching your body, and provoking words repeatedly, it made me fall deeper and deeper, and if you have a conscience, you should be responsible to me."
Zhuang Fanxin was dumbfounded: "I—"
"But you're a little heartless. You can run faster than a rabbit and hide deeper than a gopher, so I can't let you stand it? If you can't stand it, just say it clearly, if you don't like hitting me, will I still pester you? endlessly?"
"no-"
"Isn't it? You are like avoiding the plague, then I'll be more sensible. I won't let you because I'm so tired. I'll avoid you, right? I'm hiding far away, I fucking like you, and avoiding you once is suffering once, But you come together again, are you people in Rongcheng so heartless?"
A string of scolding came, and Zhuang Fan's suffocation for several days finally broke out: "I don't want you to hide from me!"
"Then what do you want me to do?!"
Gu Zhuoyan roared, the blue veins on his forehead bulged, and for the first time, his eyes were hysterical, and Zhuang Fan's heart was stunned by him, and his eyes were red. He lowered his head against Zhuang Fanxin's forehead, put his finger on Zhuang Fanxin's chest, and pressed it.
After the violence, there is gentleness left, and Gu Zhuoyan asked: "Obviously Fan's heart is moved, when will he admit it?"
Zhuang Fan's heart was wet: "...Did you get any burns today?"
Gu Zhuoyan was sluggish for a few seconds, and hugged Zhuang Fanxin tightly into his arms, and tilted his head to block Zhuang Fanxin's lips.
With his hot red lips, Zhuang Fan's slightly cold lips became warm and soft, and then became faintly hot. He squeezed the man so hard that he even sucked the air in his mouth to dry it out. Zhuang Fan's heart was so weak that he couldn't breathe, and his heart was beating so hard that it would burst the membrane valve.
After being separated for a long time, he leaned on Gu Zhuoyan's shoulder and shivered slightly, the corners of his mouth drooling.
"Is it too late to admit it now?"