Before returning to China, Zhuang Xianyang prepared a letter of resignation. His father was ill and his mother was old. How could he return to China to live in peace
As a son of man, he will have to take care of him in the next few years, but long-distance flights back and forth are not the way, and there is no reason for the work of the unit to be delayed. As a father, Zhuang Fanxin has never been through troubles since he was a child. When he was only seventeen, he had to finish his studies first even if he inherited the company.
It is unrealistic to stay with reason and feelings, and it is even more imminent to go to the United States. Zhuang Xianyang discussed with Zhao Jianqiu in advance. The situation at hand was critical and there was no hesitation to delay the capital, so the husband and wife decided to emigrate together.
Zhuang Xianyang is a painter. When he was young, he visited more than half of China, including Harbin, Shanghai, Suzhou and Hangzhou, and lived in countless cities. Zhao Jianqiu grew up abroad, and the same is true. After they got married and had children, they settled in Rongcheng. Because Zhuang Fanxin was studying, they didn't move their nests, but they didn't have a deep understanding of the concept of "roots".
Leaving and walking, for art practitioners, is sometimes more like changing the water and growing spirits.
On the afternoon after returning to China, Zhuang Xianyang immediately went to the Academy of Fine Arts to submit a letter of resignation. All procedures were expedited and simplified. Zhao Jianqiu had already handled the work at hand in advance, and contacted the design studio with which he had cooperated for many years.
During this period of time, Zhuang Xianyang was under great pressure. He was depressed and sluggish in the hospital late at night. He smiled reluctantly in front of his parents. After reuniting with his wife and children, he was a little bit full of energy. Today, I came to see the house. He accompanied him inside and outside to visit and introduce, and repeatedly explained that the house did not matter, but he was very reluctant to bear the garden carefully built by his wife.
Following behind to send people out of the house, seeing Gu Zhuoyan and Zhuang Fanxin standing outside, Zhuang Xianyang greeted: "Xiao Gu is back, listen to Fanxin that you are going home to the winter camp?"
"Uncle." Gu Zhuoyan responded.
He had never been so worried, as if he was not facing Zhuang Xianyang and Zhao Jianqiu a few steps away, but some kind of beast who wanted his life. Even so, he walked over a little and asked, "Uncle and aunt, are you going to emigrate?"
"Well, the day after tomorrow." Zhao Jianqiu said.
Zhuang Xianyang smiled, with three points of regret and helplessness, but the remaining seven points were unswerving, he said, "I thought it was Fanxin to send you a year later, but I didn't expect to change the order, the two of you have said goodbye these two days. Bar."
Gu Zhuoyan still didn't give up: "Will you come back in the future?"
Zhuang Xianyang thought for a moment: "No one can tell in the future, but there is a high probability that he will not come back."
The scorching sun was in the sky, but it was actually very cold. If he didn't come back, he read out his sentence in four words lightly and skillfully.
Zhuang Xianyang and Zhao Jianqiu went back, and there was no one in the alley, only Gu Zhuoyan and Zhuang Fanxin remained silent. Gu Zhuoyan only felt dizzy, swaying, and tremblingly asked, "Zhuanger, will you come back later?"
Zhuang Fanxin covered his face, and without waiting for him to say a word, Gu Zhuoyan broke his hand with force: "Will you come back later?"
Gu Zhuoyan asked over and over again, repeating over and over again, but arrogantly did not give Zhuang Fanxin a chance to answer. He was afraid, afraid that what Zhuang Fanxin said was not the answer he wanted to hear, even if the probability of the answer was only one in a thousand, he was too afraid to hear half a word.
This is not right, not at all.
Gu Zhuoyan thought while waiting for the flight, and also on the plane, if Zhuang Fanxin really had to leave early, he would just wait. After graduating from high school a year later, he would also go to study. Four or five years later, he and Zhuang Fanxin returned to China and went on living according to their original plan.
But if Zhuang Fanxin doesn't come back, what should I do
Gu Zhuoyan didn't ask any more questions. He crossed that hurdle and took it for granted and deceived himself a bit and said, "Even if you immigrate, you can come back when your grandfather's condition is stable or improves, right?"
Zhuang Fan answered so lightly, "I—"
"There is still a holiday." Gu Zhuoyan didn't let Zhuang Fanxin finish his sentence, but he was still afraid, and he was worried to the extreme. "I can fly over to see you during the holiday. I usually make phone calls and videos. There is always a way, right?"
His chest was hot, Zhuang Fanxin came to hug him, like he used to bully others, those two thin arms tied him tightly. He lowered his head and sniffed the top of Zhuang Fanxin's hair, his consciousness was suddenly evacuated and he shook.
Gu Zhuoyan had a high fever of 39 degrees, and the root of the disease planted last night was freezing and anxious.
Zhuang Fanxin helped the nearest person back to his home, put him on the bed, half-packed clothes were thrown at the end of the bed, and luggage was spread out on the ground. Gu Zhuoyan caught a glimpse, and he kept calling Zhuang Fanxin as if he was talking nonsense, repeatedly saying, "Don't go." .
After unbuttoning the heavy down jacket, Zhuang Fanxin realized that Gu Zhuoyan was wearing a shirt and tie, and when he thought about it, he knew how hurried the other party was when he came back. After taking off several layers of clothes, Zhuang Fanxin covered Gu Zhuoyan with the quilt, and wiped Gu Zhuoyan's cheek with a damp towel.
His skin was hot and morbidly red, but his lips were white. Gu Zhuoyan was unable to open his eyes, groping for it, his hand stretched out from the bed, and grabbed Zhuang Fanxin's wrist with the last bit of strength.
Zhuang Fan held it back in his heart. During this period, Zhao Jianqiu brought hot water, and Zhuang Xianyang invited a nurse from the clinic to infuse him. He still did not let go under the eyes of others.
The room was quiet, the drop of medicine was heavier than breathing, Zhuang Fan took a sip of water in his heart, leaned over and covered it, bit by bit into Gu Zhuoyan's mouth. After repeating it several times, no matter how drowsy, there was a reaction. At the last bite, Zhuang Fan was caught off guard and bit his tongue.
"pain!"
"It should hurt you too."
The resentment was clear in the words, but Zhuang Fan didn't refute it, kicked off his slippers and got into the bed, and lay down against Gu Zhuoyan's hot body. He wrapped around Gu Zhuoyan's waist, stroked his lower abdomen and crotch, and was hugged firmly when he got up again.
"I'll get you something to eat." Zhuang Fanxin said.
"I don't want to eat." Gu Zhuoyan squinted at him, his real desire and naked reluctance to give up, all poured into it, "I just want a word from you."
will you come back later? After asking so many times, he didn't dare to listen to the answer. At this moment, the small needle was stuck in the back of his hand, and the liquid in the infusion bag was draining drop by drop. He realized that every second was also passing quickly.
Zhuang Fan's heart has been thinking, from the moment Zhuang Xianyang told him to immigrate with his family, to now, he has collapsed countless times.
His grandfather gave him the company, and he will become a jewelry designer after he studies, which is his dream since he was a child. In the future, Zhuang Xianyang and Zhao Jianqiu were also there, as well as grandma, parents and relatives, work dreams, and even the old man's last wish. Every crucial weight fell on one side of the scale.
Zhuang Fan was suffering. He tried to be an asshole and left without worrying about it, but after Xia Wei informed him that he was leaving, he held his mobile phone, waited for a cross-examination, waited for a scolding, waited for anything and everything was fine, he Only then did I realize that I couldn't be free and easy at all. When Gu Zhuoyan's phone call came, he answered it. Under calm restraint, he scratched his hair, bit his bleeding lower lip, and his clothes were torn apart.
Zhuang Fanxin didn't close his eyes all night, and when he was more serious, he secretly walked out of the house and stood in the alley. It was so dark that he could only stare at the light coming from the intersection.
He wandered around, walked to the side of the street, leaned over to examine every passing taxi, the driver mistakenly thought he was going to take a ride, stopped, watched him shake his head, and scolded him before driving away.
At 4:30 in the morning, there were fewer and fewer cars and people coming and going. Zhuang Fanxin finally waved and got on a taxi and ran to the airport. He searched around the airport lobby, the ground staff asked him if he needed help, passengers peeked at him, he turned and ran countless times, but he couldn't wait for the returner.
At that moment, one night, Zhuang Fan felt like a lost madman, he wanted to see Gu Zhuoyan, wanted to tell Gu Zhuoyan that he was not going anywhere, filial piety, dreams, studies, he could not want anything, but when the sky was dawn, only Exhausted and helpless, he finally stood in the airport lobby and burst into tears.
Zhuang Fanxin took a taxi home. On the highway, he could see the horizon in the distance. The sun was slowly rising in the east, as red as his eyes. All the burdens and responsibilities he faced have not disappeared, and his rationality has returned to the cage, like a shackle weighing on him, and he will continue this countdown day.
After getting out of the car, Xue Maochen, who came back from the morning exercise in the park, was standing at the intersection and happened to meet him.
"Xiao Zhuang." Xue Maochen called him with a smile. He didn't ask him where he came from early in the morning, nor the tears on his face. He just said, "Sister Hu is resting today. Would you like to have breakfast with me?"
The small stall on the side of the road has just set up the stove, and there are only two of them, one old and one young. The meat and swallow soup is steaming. Zhuang Fanxin lowered his hands and did not move his chopsticks, quietly staring at the fine oil flowers floating in the soup noodles. Xue Maochen ate deliciously. He drank half a bowl of soup to moisten his lungs.
"Going?" the old man asked.
Zhuang Fan moved his eyelashes: "Well, my parents said that the procedures will be done one after another, so go ahead first."
"It should be, your grandfather's side is more important." Xue Maochen heard Zhuang Xianyang say roughly, although the banquet ended, but the neighbors were always reluctant for so many years. He recalled: "When I first moved in, you were a primary school student, Ding Dian, and your parents saw that I was alone and lonely, so they always asked you to bring me delicious food. What about you, bring a bowl of soup and sprinkle half a bowl. , I took a box of dim sum and dropped half of it, and all of them raised wild cats."
Zhuang Fan pursed his lips: "You still remember."
"I remember, I remember." Xue Maochen said, "After you entered junior high school, when you were at the most difficult age to manage, you gave me something to eat and then took the opportunity to sneak out to play. I went to the countryside to sketch that year, and I won't come back when the time comes. , the teacher in the studio called your father, and your father drove you back overnight."
The old man counted better, and Zhuang Fanxin listened, his appearance gradually stretched out, as if his wrinkled heart and liver were slowly returning blood. After chewing the product for so many years, Xue Maochen said: "We will have a goodbye eventually. You have to go back to the old man. I will go back to my children when I am old enough, so I will remember everything."
Zhuang Fanxin raised his head and met Xue Maochen's old but bright eyes. "Xiao Zhuang," Xue Maochen smiled at him, "people and people, sooner or later, have to rely on memories to maintain, my wife, I miss her very much, and my daughter who is far away from me, I also miss her, but it will last a long time and even life and death, see you. When we arrive, we can't see it, we can only think."
"Grandpa." Zhuang Fanxin asked, "but I want to see it, I want to see you all the time."
Xue Maochen said: "I want to exercise with my wife in the morning and take a walk together in the evening, but I can't. Your grandfather is still lying on the hospital bed, I hope he will recover soon, and the doctor can't do it. There are many things in this world. If not, choose a heavy one, leave it slow, how can a person not regret it in his life?"
Zhuang Fan's heart was rolling with his Adam's apple and he couldn't speak. He was in too much pain.
But he didn't give up: "My grandfather is the most important right now, but in the future, many years later, I'm willing to give up everything else for what I've put aside now."
Xue Maochen asked, "So you are going to tell Zhuoyan and will come back to him in the future?"
Zhuang Fan looked at the other party in astonishment. After several days of torture, he was too dull to tell the difference. Xue Maochen wiped his mouth. He already knew about the two children. It was strange that Gu Zhuoyan had transferred to Rongcheng.
"Xiao Zhuang, do you like humble words?" Xue Maochen asked.
Zhuang Fanxin nodded desperately: "I like him, I really like him!"
Xue Maochen asked again: "You said that you will spend the winter vacation with me this year, does it count?"
Zhuang Fan was slightly startled. He was leaving the day after tomorrow and said guiltily, "I'm sorry grandpa, I broke my promise."
"You should have also promised Zhuoyan to celebrate the New Year with him, and promised him to go out to study together after graduating from high school, and promised him to live together in the future. Maybe when you are young and romantic, you will promise to live forever. Right?"
Yes, Zhuang Fanxin promised a lot, to celebrate the New Year together, Gu Zhuoyan hurriedly went back to stay, but he had to leave. It was agreed to go abroad to study together, but Gu Zhuoyan stayed for him for another year, but he left early. He promised to tell his parents about them, but he still hasn't said anything...
Gu Zhuoyan said that he would do it and overcome all obstacles to complete their relationship, but he promised many things, but he did not fulfill one of them.
Zhuang Fan murmured, "Why am I so bad."
"Xiao Zhuang, it's not your fault. Everything happens for a reason, and you can't predict or change it." Xue Maochen said, "However, you should understand a truth. Just because you don't know what will happen in the future, don't make promises lightly."
The world may be turned upside down in just one month, who can predict one year later? A few years later
Xue Maochen said: "Don't make promises to my humble words. Once or twice, he will tolerate it, but he will also be uncomfortable. He made a fuss at the airport last night and waited all night. This time he came back from a long distance. What about the next time? After saying something uncertain for you, he will wait for three to five years, thinking about it for three or five years, and maybe he will not hesitate to fall out with his family or even affect his future. If you can't do it for various reasons, what should he do? ? He's not that strong."
"Xiao Zhuang, you haven't been in a relationship for too long. Now that you are separated, you have good memories with you." Xue Maochen was also slightly jealous, "If you really like each other, and you will never forget them after separation, then you will eventually leave when you mature. come together."
Zhuang Fanxin cried and shook his head, he didn't know what to do.
Xue Maochen said the last time: "If you are not sure if you can do it, if you can't foresee the future, don't make promises to the people you care about."
It was completely bright.
"Xiao Zhuang, separate from Zhuo Yan."
The infusion bag was gradually emptied, Zhuang Fanxin sat up and held Gu Zhuoyan's hand, pulled off a few tapes and pulled out the infusion needle. Gu Zhuoyan fell asleep peacefully, breathing heavily, and the fever had not completely subsided.
Zhuang Fanxin accompanied him, watching TV silently, Zhou Xingchi's "Journey to the West" was playing on the screen. Halfway through the performance, Gu Zhuoyan slowly opened his eyes.
The two of them were watching a movie next to each other, and neither of them spoke, but only listened to the people in the movie.
At the end, Zhizunbao and Fairy Zixia stood facing each other on the city wall, and there was no movement in the room. Fortunately, the music played, and it was the classic old song, "The Love of My Life".
Zhuang Fanxin reached for the clothes thrown at the end of the bed, folded them on his lap, stacked one after another, and lowered his head: "I didn't make it into the top ten of the grade at the end of the semester, the forty-sixth, it's okay."
Gu Zhuoyan's heart began to panic, and he didn't say anything until now. He could probably guess the result. "You don't fold it this way, it takes up space." He interrupted, shaking the clothes away, "I think Sister Hu always folds them in half first."
"The infusion should be given for at least three days, and remember to take the medicine." Zhuang Fanxin said, "Go to the airport the day after tomorrow. My dad has already booked a car. If you are not feeling well, you don't need to send me."
Gu Zhuoyan said, "I'm fine. What time do I leave that day?"
Zhuang Fanxin answered the question: "I went straight to university and became your senior. After graduation, I will take care of my grandfather's company, and be a designer and a boss. I don't think I have time to take vacations."
Gu Zhuoyan stared at the TV screen, Zhizunbao walked towards Fairy Zixia and hugged each other: "Is Zhou Xingchi still making movies recently? Although I don't like watching movies, I know all his masterpieces."
"I've known you for half a year." Zhuang Fanxin said, "I'm content."
"The Love of My Life" sings to a climax, a sea of bitterness, turning up love and hate...
Gu Zhuoyan put on his shoes, picked up his down jacket and ran: "Grandpa doesn't know I'm coming back yet, I'll go back and see him."
Desperately walking out and opening the door, Zhuang Fanxin turned his head to look at Gu Zhuoyan's back, swallowed the bitterness and bitterness, and choked his last sip: "Let's go here."
Gu Zhuoyan took a step.
Zhuang Fanxin said, "Let's break up."
Bang, the door closes.
The song is still sung intermittently, and you are drifting outside the white clouds in the sky.
Lovers never come again after they leave.