After packing the luggage, Zhuang Fanxin's eyes that didn't close last night were bloodshot, astringent, swollen, and a little sore. He walked to the balcony for a while, and looked up at the sky, but he couldn't find any comfort. Clouds move, and the door is empty at dusk.
Zhuang Fanxin washed his face, and went to the jewelry studio before the night. He made the crown, but the accessories, wear and tear and other miscellaneous items have just been sorted out and paid, so that the money and goods can be settled.
The master of the studio repeatedly praised the thing, how good the thing is, how ingenious the design is, and wished to boast a flower, Zhuang Fan smiled, really couldn't spare the effort to be polite, and said "thank you" and said goodbye.
The items are packed in boxes, which are quite heavy. Zhuang Fanxin carried them all the way home, and when he entered the door, he met Zhuang Xianyang and asked him, is it courier? With a vague "um", he went back to his room and locked the door, as if he was self-closing, and he could relax without anyone else around.
He knelt beside the bed, and put the box on the bed sheet regardless of its dirtyness, opened it, and found a plastic document bag inside, which contained the drawings and electronic scans he took, and put things in a separate box. For a moment, his eyes were hot.
The appearance of this crown has long been familiar to me. I have drawn hundreds of pictures, and revised it more than a hundred times. While waiting for Gu Zhuoyan to come back, I have been working intensively to make it. Now, Zhuang Fanxin closes his eyes and knows every sea. shape of glass.
The shades of blue crown, like a ring island, look especially clean on the white sheets.
Zhuang Fanxin stretched out his fingertips to touch, it was cool, especially not enough, he opened his arms and embraced him. He no longer has the spirit to think, and his mind is chaotic. He only knows that he can't wait until March, and Gu Zhuoyan's eighteenth birthday is destined to be absent.
After enduring for a few hours, thinking of the words "Gu Zhuoyan" at this moment, Zhuang Fan's heart was instantly beaten back to its original shape, pained and hopeless, leaning on the bed and shrinking into a ball of unease. He doesn't know if his decision is right or wrong, he can't think about it anymore, maybe he will regret it, maybe he will regret it for life, but he can't find a better way right now.
Xue Maochen is good for Gu Zhuoyan, if he believes it, then he agrees.
Zhuang Fan covered his head in his heart, and his thoughts were vague. What was the situation of the Xue family 100 meters away? Has Gu Zhuoyan's fever subsided? Will blame him, hate him
The engine downstairs started, someone came to see the used car, Zhuang Xianyang took the buyer to the street for a test drive, Zhao Jianqiu knocked on the door: "Fan Xin, have you packed your luggage?"
"Okay." Zhuang Fan replied.
Zhao Jianqiu said, "I've packed some flowers and plants, and you can accompany me to move it to Grandpa Xue."
The garden at home is too lush, and ordinary people don't know how to do it, so Zhao Jianqiu will give the neighbors one by one. Daffodils, purple palms, and large plants of Portuguese wind, Zhuang Fanxin moved to the end of the alley one after another, but Xue Maochen didn't understand these, so he helped to plant them one by one after moving.
Until late at night, Zhuang Fanxin washed his hands and went home. Before leaving, he kept looking at the second floor. Xue Maochen sent him to the door and patted him on the shoulder: "I still have a little burn, I'm sleeping."
Zhuang Fanxin retracted his gaze: "I failed him."
"It's not disappointment, it's maturity." Xue Maochen said, "Although it was grandpa who forced you and asked you to do it."
"Grandpa," Zhuang Fan was very scared, "will he hate me?"
Xue Maochen coaxed him: "he will understand in a few days, and I will tell him exactly what I said to you."
Zhuang Fanxin turned around and walked away. He was exhausted after walking less than 100 meters. He didn't close his eyes for two days and one night. Now the dust has settled, and he has no ability to return to the sky. I fell asleep with that birthday present.
The sea glass smothered the meat, and it was cold.
This gift, the aura overshadows the craftsmanship, the affection is stronger than the talent, it makes Zhuang Fan's heart feel hot all night, but parting and goodbye has become a reality. Destroy the heart and cut the liver.
On the last day before leaving, everything was sorted out. The family visited a few friends to say goodbye and waited for the departure tomorrow morning. Zhuang Fanxin saw Pei Zhi and told him the cause and effect. He didn't cry, but smiled to himself with swollen eyes, as if he was dying of illness.
That night, Zhuang Fanxin hid in the small fork with the box in his arms, took a deep breath, and pretended to be relaxed and generous. In fact, his hands were shaking constantly. He suppressed his feelings, shy face, and hit Gu Zhuoyan, it took a long time to get through.
"Are you feeling better?" Zhuang Fan almost choked up when he opened his mouth, "I have something for you."
Gu Zhuoyan said hoarsely: "Since we broke up, I don't want your things anymore."
"It's me," Zhuang Fan became impatient, but he was in a hurry and felt guilty. He didn't dare to refute loudly, so he could only add more pitifully, "It's my birthday present to you."
There was silence in the phone for a few seconds, which was like an hour. Gu Zhuoyan said, "I don't want to see it miss you on my birthday without the birthday present I sent a few months in advance."
Eighteen-year-old gifts were given, nineteen-year-olds, twenty-year-olds.
Zhuang Fan heart begged over and over again: "Can you come out... I'll wait for you at the small fork in the road."
Gu Zhuoyan said, I don't want to, and hung up the phone.
It was still the wild cat and the bluestone slab. Zhuang Fanxin sat on it with the box in his arms and waited, from nine o'clock to the early morning, and from the early morning to dawn.
He didn't have time to wait any longer. He glanced at the door of Xue's house, it was locked, and Gu Zhuoyan would not come out to see him. This heavy gift became superfluous and ridiculous. When he broke up, he shouted to stop, why did he force others to accept his broken crown.
Zhuang Fanxin walked under the wall, raised his hand and threw the whole box into the trash can, causing a burst of dust, and when the trash can lid fell, nothing could be seen.
One hundred and thirty-seven drawings, dozens of accurate scans, and all the sea glass that was not used up, he lost all.
The applauded car was waiting at the door, all the suitcases were packed, the door was locked, and the family was about to leave Rongcheng. Gu Baoyan cried while hugging Zhuang Fanxin's thigh, Zhuang Fanxin leaned over to hug her and whispered, "Little sister, tell your brother for me, I'm sorry.
How intense the reluctance will eventually turn into a wisp of gray exhaust that dissipates in a few seconds.
The buttocks of the car turned out of the alley and could not be seen for a long time. Gu Baoyan was still crying while holding Xue Maochen's hand. Tears were falling. Suddenly, Gu Zhuoyan rushed out from the end of the alley, skipped them, and ran without looking back. out.
As the New Year is approaching, there are more people at the airport than usual. When the luggage and boarding pass are ready, Zhuang Xianyang takes his wife and children to the security check in line. He sighed with emotion that he was going to leave. After all, he had lived for many years, and it was still uncomfortable at this moment.
Zhao Jianqiu smiled and asked, "Son, why didn't you say a word all the way?"
Zhuang Fanxin squeezed out a smile and didn't know how to answer. He walked to the end of the security check line. He pretended to look for his ID card to avoid the teasing of his parents.
Suddenly, he heard someone calling his name.
Far behind, someone shouted loudly, Zhuang Fanxin.
Gu Zhuoyan came running with high fever and sweat, and the crowd was full of people. He shouted hoarsely and ran to the security checkpoint, where he finally saw Zhuang Fanxin's figure.
"—Zhuang Fanxin!" He stopped in place, "Come back..."
Zhuang Fanxin rushed out of the team and ran in front of Gu Zhuoyan. He stretched out his hand to wipe the sweat from Gu Zhuoyan's forehead. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, and he kept saying it over and over again.
Gu Zhuoyan looked down at him, there was no coldness in the call, only the last reason: "Go over there and take good care of yourself."
"So are you." Zhuang Fan said in his heart, "All my worries are wrong. Your admirer, your parents and family, I thought there would be troubles one day, but you resisted every hidden danger, in the end. The cowardly and repentant person turned out to be me."
Gu Zhuoyan hugged him: "I really hate you, I hate you for a day and a night." He closed his eyes slightly, rubbing against Zhuang Fan's soft hair, "As soon as you get in the car and leave, all I am left is fear. "
Zhuang Fan was sobbing: "I really like you... I want to tell you that if my grandfather is healed, I will come back... I don't want anything else... I don't want anything..." Whatever you promise."
Zhuang Fan's heart has lost some courage and confidence. In the last sentence, he whispered: "If you like someone else, I will also bless you."
Gu Zhuoyan wiped the tears from his face, but he couldn't wipe them all out, it was getting late, Zhuang Xianyang and Zhao Jianqiu called him from behind. "Zhuang Fanxin, do you remember?" Gu Zhuoyan said, "That time in the studio you asked me to be a model and said you would agree to a condition."
Zhuang Fanxin nodded, he remembered, but Gu Zhuoyan never mentioned it.
"I've figured it out now, you have to do it."
"No matter what happens in the future." Gu Zhuoyan pressed close to Zhuang Fanxin's ear, "Don't forget me."
They were already attracting attention, Zhuang Fanxin nodded in agreement, backed away, and waved to Gu Zhuoyan. However, as soon as he turned around, he looked at Zhuang Xianyang and Zhao Jianqiu, sluggish for two seconds, turned around and rushed back to the face of Zhuo Yan.
In the crowd of people watching, Zhuang Fanxin hugged Gu Zhuoyan's shoulder and kissed him.
He was timid, cowardly, indecisive, and this was his bravest moment. He wants to tell his parents that he has a concern here and will never forget it.
The lips parted, and Zhuang Fan said goodbye.
Turning around and walking towards the security line, he finally broke down and let out a howl.
On the afternoon of the day Zhuang Fanxin left, Gu Zhuoyan went to the hospital with a high fever of 40 degrees, and he recovered on and off for a week. After that, Xue Maochen offered to let Gu Zhuoyan go back, and Gu Shibo and Xue Manzi also agreed.
Rongcheng was already sad. Taking advantage of the winter vacation, Gu Zhuoyan and Gu Baoyan had transferred schools, and the two brothers and sisters went home together. During the Spring Festival, they stayed at the Gu family's mansion. Xue Maochen and Gu Pingfang discussed wine tasting. The younger generation who came to visit almost stepped over the threshold. In short, it was very New Year.
Gu Zhuoyan was sullen. He stayed in his detached villa all day and did not show up. Occasionally, when he came out to take a walk with Bond, he would suffer from hysteria while standing on the lawn. The door of the villa is located on the north side, with one side of pure glass, and the entrance is a porch of more than ten square meters. He sits on the sofa behind the door to change his shoes, and often sits motionless after changing.
Su Wang, Lu Wen, and Lian Yiming came to him, playing ball, playing games, lying still and chatting, seemingly lively, but in fact he didn't think about it at all, just wandering outside.
Gu Zhuoyan took a long time to desensitize, and then went from one extreme to the other. He almost gave up socializing and devoted all his energy to his studies. There were also rumors of him coming out of the closet in the new school. Over time, the scandal about him was covered by updates, and it only changed to how good his grades were and how many competition awards he had.
Gu Shibo and Xue Manzi have also undergone some changes. They have no longer avoided the issue of their son's sexual orientation. They have met customers, chatted, and even in bright communication.
Gradually, Gu Shibo accompanied Gu Baoyan to watch the whole animation. Although he didn't know until after watching it, Gu Baoyan told the nanny behind his back that I was still in grades and still watched cartoons, and it was very tiring to fulfill my father's father-daughter relationship.
The family began to have some warmth and some ridiculous trivial matters. The father and son had not quarreled for nearly half a year. Only Xue Manzi lost his temper once, because he found out that Gu Zhuoyan had learned to smoke. It didn't even happen, Gu Shibo excused his son, just let him go.
Gu Zhuoyan couldn't remember when the habit was formed. The first time he drew was in the middle of the sky in Rongcheng, in a small corner. He asked the basketball team for one. The second time was a few months ago. Suddenly, he felt as if he was too urgent to find a gap. He asked the gardener at home to ask for one.
He asked, can a banyan tree be planted
The other party said that the north is not very good.
Oh, Gu Zhuoyan nodded and left.
Later, he started to buy his own cigarettes, sometimes Marlboro, sometimes Yuhuashi, no matter what brand, occasionally he picked up a pack of cigarettes in the small supermarket by the roadside and smoked. He is not addicted either. He may only remember to smoke one every ten days and a half months. He is not attached to the taste of nicotine.
Blowing out a puff of white smoke, all limbs and bones were completely relaxed.
During the summer vacation of the second year of high school and the third year of high school, Gu Zhuoyan would have a few days of free time even if he found 80 famous teachers for tutoring. He and Lu Wen went to eat Chaoshan beef pot, went crazy, and went home after eating and followed the cooking aunt to learn how to cook.
Gu Zhuoyan once proudly said that there is nothing wrong with being smart, but when it comes to learning to cook, he doubts his IQ for the first time ever. I practiced for three days in choosing vegetables, for a week in cutting vegetables, and the gauze on my fingers was wrapped around my fingers for ten days.
Someone said that he hopes that the person he likes will cook for him and not dislike him for being picky eaters.
Gu Zhuoyan recited this sentence, and at the risk of angering his aunt, he learned a few good dishes in the kitchen, and even learned to cut cucumbers.
The person also said that he hoped that the person he liked would accompany him to watch the movie he liked.
Gu Zhuoyan looked for a few movies to practice hard, and he was always sleepy watching it, so he took Gu Baoyan to the cinema and asked Lian Yiming and the others to watch. .
As soon as he entered the third year of high school, Gu Zhuoyan started to prepare for studying abroad. Gu Shibo and Xue Manzi became nervous and asked him where he planned to go.
America, he said.
Xue Manzi was the first to be unable to sit still, but she did not expressly prohibit it. She patiently persuaded like a female director that her studies should not be influenced by feelings, and those who were missed should not hold on to it. If you have been injured once, you should not suffer more pain.
Gu Zhuoyan said that he has broken up, and he knows the proportions. Xue Manzi was skeptical. He explained it more clearly. He never contacted him once, and his voice, face, and smile were only a shadow. What else is there to worry about
Gu Shibo didn't say much, just one sentence, he must come back after graduation.
Gu Zhuoyan happily agreed that his family's company, his close relatives and friends are all here, and his return is inevitable. On the contrary, he finally understood the difficulties of the other party when they separated last year.
Everyone said that time flies, but Gu Zhuoyan felt that it was slow. In the second semester of high school, when the spring passed, he felt that he had endured.
In the summer of early June, candidates rushed to the examination room to take on the challenge. Gu Zhuoyan's seat was in the last row by the window. The sun was shining in. He vaguely saw a scene. In front of the gate, stood a small curly hair with bright eyes and white teeth. Looking up at the third row, the round head was secretly talking to the same table again, discussing whether to eat claypot rice at noon.
As soon as the test bell rang, Gu Zhuoyan picked up his pen, and someone seemed to say in his ear that it didn't matter if he didn't do well in the test.
The end of the college entrance examination is a long summer vacation. Gu Zhuoyan is studying Japanese while waiting for his grades. After honing until August, Bond is too hot to move. He sleeps in an air-conditioned room every day. Popsicles are happy.
There are several famous schools scattered on the table. Gu Zhuoyan just took a shower and sat at the table with a page fan, everything was ready, he took a leisurely breath.
Om, the phone vibrates on the desktop, it's very noisy.
Gu Zhuoyan picked it up, it was estimated that Lu Wen asked him to go out to play, or that his classmates had a party. The moment his eyes fell on the screen, his nasal cavity became sore with stress.
Caller ID - Zhuang Fanxin.
It's been a year and seven months, and they haven't been in contact for a year and seven months.
No words on paper, no text messages for holiday wishes, and no phone calls. They put each other aside. After more than a year of ups and downs, Gu Zhuoyan could barely hold the phone.
He pressed the call button, the phone was close to his ear, and his heart was beating wildly.
"It's me." Zhuang Fanxin's voice came.
Gu Zhuoyan pressed his tongue: "Well."
"How are you doing?" Zhuang Fanxin asked.
This sentence was unimaginably alien, reminding Gu Zhuoyan that they were far away from the ocean, and he replied, "It's good." He wanted to get closer, stretched out his hand, and touched the information on the table with his fingertips.
"Gu Zhuoyan." At this time, Zhuang Fan said, "I am here, and I have someone I like."
Gu Zhuoyan swallowed a mouthful of nothingness: "What?"
Zhuang Fanxin said: "It's a classmate who studied design with me. I can talk to him very well. We got together last month."
Gu Zhuoyan's chest heaved and felt a hole in his heart. He tried his best to maintain a calm and fragile dignity: "Break up, who you are with is your freedom."
As everyone knows, Zhuang Fanxin's slaughter of him is not over yet.
"He doesn't want me to keep my ex's contact information, so." Zhuang Fan paused, "I wish you all the best in the future."
Gu Zhuoyan put down the phone, he struggled in a huge loss, and it was difficult for him to return to his senses for a long time. What did Zhuang Fanxin say? With someone else, what is he
He reopened the call log and dialed the number, but he couldn't get through. He clicked on the chat list, and he couldn't find Zhuang Fanxin's avatar, all the contact information, the former class group, and everything was gone. .
In just one minute, Zhuang Fanxin disappeared from his world.
Gu Zhuoyan was trembling with panic, kept dialing, and kept pressing the call button. He put the phone to his ear and whispered Zhuang Fanxin's name. Zhuanger, I miss you so much, I miss you every day.
I learned to cook, waiting for you to accept my cooking skills. I also overcome the problem of being sleepy when watching movies. I can accompany you to watch your favorite movies in the future.
I have applied for the school, and we can meet soon when I go there.
I haven't given up for a moment, I've been waiting.
You promised me at the airport that you would not forget me, why didn't you do it
Zhuang Fanxin, come back, don't torture me like this, come back...
Gu Zhuoyan kept talking, saying everything he didn't have time to say, buried in the bottom of his heart and had no chance to say it. His vision became hazy, and it was full of slides. It turned out that he was crying.
However, it was so quiet, no one responded, and there was nothing left.
Zhuang Fan's heart disappeared completely, and there was no trace of it. As soon as his hand was released, the phone fell to the ground, and Gu Zhuoyan leaned against the back of the chair and gradually emptied it.
It was as if he had never been to Rongcheng and didn't know Zhuang Fanxin.
There was no misunderstanding in McDonald's, no success in cultivation, no kisses on the classroom windowsill, no chasing on the shore of Gulangyu Island, no heartbeat, no neck-crossing, no promises in the middle of Christmas night, they would have a better life.
… maybe nothing happened.
Like a summer dream that started in that August and ended in this August, it is actually a sporadically empty scene.
The author has something to say: The teenage years are over, and then it's straight to adulthood.