"Xu Baichuan, I really don't like you, but I love you."
Xu Baichuan's eyes widened instantly, and he was stunned.
This is completely different from what he expected.
Tang Jin didn't give him more time to react, and continued: "I didn't finish what I said last time - I did like Song Yiyu and came out for him, but he chose to leave at that time, and he has been by my side ever since. The person is you."
Bad memories flooded into his mind again, Xu Baichuan recovered from the brief daze, and his fair face was slightly blush. Not shy, but angry. He said: "Tang Jin, if you just want to get back to the original state, I can cooperate with you. I don't need to trouble you to fabricate these lies, and I won't be deceived!"
Tang Jin didn't expect Xu Baichuan's backlash to be so strong, he managed to get the words out of the mess and entangled them again, and asked without knowing why, "When did I make up a lie?"
Normally, Xu Baichuan probably didn't want to be troublesome, and Tang Jin could do whatever he wanted, as long as there were fewer arguments. But this time it was unbearable - what he wanted was Tang Jin's true love, not just to leave a word he said casually. It would be too insulting for Tang Jin to easily throw out what he was thinking about as bait in order to increase his bargaining chips.
"Three months ago, you said that you liked Song Yiyu yourself. I didn't know you were such a fickle person."
Tang Jin could be said to be horrified. He said in astonishment, "Three months ago? When did I say I liked him?"
Xu Baichuan didn't expect that Tang Jin would pretend to be stupid when it came to this point, and simply opened up his scars and said, "On the day you celebrated Song Yiyu's birthday, you said that the thing you hate most about me is stalking. "
Tang Jin finally recalled that day:
—My friend of yours, Song Yiyu, who do you like more
—Is this what you want to ask? Do you know what I hate most about you
— Stalker
-right.
Tang Jin's expression changed a few times in a short moment, and he finally grasped the clue, he hesitated to say: "What I wanted to say at the time... I actually asked knowingly."
"What?"
"I thought... you knew I liked you, and you asked this on purpose..."
Xu Baichuan frowned, exploring the truth in Tang Jin's words: "Why do you think I will know?"
Tang Jin was overwhelmed by this question, and he also wanted to know why his former self was so sure that Xu Baichuan knew his feelings, or... if this incident hadn't happened, would he have kept going like this.
Tang Jin bit the bullet and said: "I'm so complacent, you are so kind to me, so nice to know all my habits and hobbies. We have a tacit understanding, sometimes you can know what I'm thinking without opening my mouth, so I took it for granted that you knew that."
"I'm too stupid to know what you want."
…
Xu Baichuan listened to these words quietly, and seeing Tang Jin struggling but trying hard to convince him, he never expected that they would live like this for seven years.
No matter how well he knew Tang Jin, he didn't dare think that Tang Jin liked him. In order not to let his hope be lost, it is better to presuppose that Tang Jin will not like him from the beginning.
Tang Jin never said that he liked him, and he never said his appeal. It is really hard to tell whether Tang Jin is hiding too deeply, or whether he can ignore too much.
It's almost like a joke.
Xu Baichuan really found it ridiculous, oh, it turns out that they have always been in love.
Those pains and torments, if any, are actually because they are immersed in their own worlds, one does not talk about pride, and the other does not ask about inferiority.
In the past seven years, he kept reminding himself: You are a despicable person, so you deserve to bear all this, and you have no right to feel sad, ashamed, and painful... It is the self-loathing born of Tang Jin's lack of love that supports him and makes him Without breaking down, face all kinds of high-spirited cynicism with a cheeky face.
Now Tang Jin told him that all of this was just what he asked for.
They have always been in love.
If this is the case, he just wants to ask Tang Jin: "What are my seven years?"
Tang Jin was speechless.
"If you really like me, can I also have the right to pain, sadness and accountability?" Xu Baichuan wanted to speak calmly, but his voice began to tremble.
"'You think'? You really think too much, do you also think that as long as you say you love me, I will cry and be grateful?" Xu Baichuan was not hysterical, but tears welled up: "You alone Based on your own assumptions, you think that I am invincible, no matter how cold you treat me, I will be happy with it?"
If Tang Jin doesn't say he likes him, he still has a hope. If one day Tang Jin likes him, how wonderful the world will be. However, after going around for a while, he learned that this world, which was about to be overwhelmed by self-loathing, compromise, cynicism and all kinds of ridicule, was the world where Tang Jin loved him.
It turned out that what he was after was nothing but shame.
It's ridiculous.
Tang Jin realized what he had done wrong, and he hurriedly wiped his tears. At this time, the door of the ward suddenly rang, and the nurse outside was about to push the car in, but was so shocked by the scene in front of him that he didn't know whether to advance or retreat.
"Xu Baichuan, I was wrong, I beg you, give me a chance, I really..." Tang Jin also choked up.
The nurse outside the door knocked on the door tentatively, Xu Baichuan raised his hand and wiped his face, and said, "Tang Jin, let's separate, let's think about it separately."
He turned around and opened the door, let the nurse in, and was about to go out when Tang Jin hugged him from behind. Tang Jin didn't care how many people were there, so he asked, "Don't go, I beg you, I know I was wrong, you Let me do whatever I want..."
In the middle of his speech, he suddenly stopped. His stomach, which had not fully recovered, throbbed with tension. He bent down uncontrollably, as if a whip was whipped directly on his stomach. Wave after wave of pain washed over Tang Jin's brain , the person in front of him was a little fuzzy, he stubbornly grabbed Xu Baichuan's clothes over and over again, but he was still unable to reach them.
Surprised by the sudden change, Xu Baichuan quickly helped the nurse lift Tang Jin up and put him on the bed.
Tang Jin grabbed Xu Baichuan's hand in a panic and repeated over and over: "Don't go. I beg you, don't go."
The person in front of him was no longer what he remembered, so Xu Baichuan struggled to free his hand, took a step back, and said silently: "Goodbye." Then he took another step back, and finally turned and walked out of the ward.
That night, Tang Jin's mother came to City H from City B and informed Xu Baichuan to see her in the hospital. After Xu Baichuan refused, he randomly booked a plane ticket to City S, and then sat on the sofa until morning, with countless cell phones After vibrating and turning off countless times, he no longer wanted to look at it.
The next morning, when he came out of the community with a suitcase, the door of a parked business car suddenly opened, and a dignified and elegant woman got out of the car and stood in front of the car. Lifting his jaw slightly, he looked like he was an ant, and when he saw Xu Baichuan, he said condescendingly first: "Xiao Xu."
The famous Yin Sulan came to visit her in person. This was something Xu Baichuan never dared to think about before, but now he didn't want to look at her again. He dragged his suitcase, nodded towards Yin Sulan, and planned to bypass them.
Yin Sulan was obviously taken aback by his indifferent appearance, and when he turned around, her high heels made a crisp sound on the winter suet road, and her voice was already slightly angry: "You know why I came to you. "
Xu Baichuan stopped, raised his head, and looked at this woman with delicate makeup, but she only had two eyes and one mouth, and she didn't have extra heads and six arms. How could she feel that she was superior to others from the bottom of her heart? He no longer pondered over his words as before, for fear of making her unhappy, but said directly: "Then you know my answer, right?"
Yin Sulan didn't believe that this person who had to rely on her son no matter what was going to let her go, only thought he was taking Qiao, for Tang Jin's sake, she warned: "Do you know that Tang Jin's condition got worse because of you? If you go back now, I can let the past go, otherwise, don't blame me for being rude."
here we go again. The slightest disobedience to her will, and she will face endless teasing.
Xu Baichuan said with a smile, "Really? Then don't be polite to me. You came at an unfortunate time, and I'm in a hurry, so I won't chat with you any more."
Tang Jin is an adult, he must always know how to cherish his body, even if he doesn't cherish it, there will always be a group of people crying and begging him to cherish it, including Xu Baichuan.
What's more, he was really tired.
Xu Baichuan was just stating the facts. Yin Sulan already felt that she had been greatly humiliated, touched her bottom line, and hurt her face. She stood for a while with an ugly face, and seeing that Xu Baichuan didn't seem to apologize in panic, she snorted coldly. Turning slightly to one side, the driver quickly opened the door.
Yin Sulan got into the car, pressed the window, and without even looking at Xu Baichuan, said coldly: "If you leave the door of our Tang family, you will never come in again."
Xu Baichuan said: "That's really... what I wish for."
While waiting for the plane, the phone rang several times, but Xu Baichuan never answered it. Then a few text messages popped up. He took them over and looked at them. The sender was Tang Jin:
[My mother went to find you, didn't she?]
[Don't listen to her, she can't represent me.]
[I didn't want to threaten you with myself, I'm fine, you don't have to worry.]
[I know I did something wrong, I can change everything, if I stay by your side, as long as you give me a chance, I can do anything.]
[Will you answer the phone?]
[Please answer the phone.]
[Xu Baichuan, don't leave, okay?]
Xu Baichuan thought for a while, and sent him a text message: [If I figure it out, I will come back, if not, let's just leave it like this. Rest in peace of mind, best wishes.]
This is the second time he has left a place he is familiar with for Tang Jin. The plane arrived in S City, and before leaving the airport, there was a teenage boy holding a big sign with the words "Xu Baichuan". In the past, I bent down and asked, "Is your name Xu Yuanshan?"
The little boy glanced back at the middle-aged man standing behind him, Xu Baichuan raised his head and called out, "Dad."