Shen Yan felt that he had made it clear enough, no matter how different Jiang Cheng was from seven years ago, Shen Yan felt that he should understand what he said and would not come again.
When I woke up in the morning, I heard that Shen Fu and Lin Shuyi's family were going to S City, Shen Yan only felt that he was inexplicably irritable because of Jiang Cheng's affairs these two days, so he told Shen Fu to go to S City with them. Lao Yang paid New Year's greetings, and took a break to clear his mind.
There are four people in Shen Fu's family, plus Chen Fang, it was full at once. Shen Yan took a look at Chen Fang, then got up to make room for him, and went to the garage to get the car by himself.
His Lotus is still at Mr. Wen's house, and the other one has been sent for maintenance and has not been sent back. In the end, he had no choice but to drive out the SUV that he hadn't touched for a long time. Shen Fu's car was parked outside the yard. Waiting for him, Shen Yan drove to follow, Shen Fu looked at his car from the window, raised the window and led the way without saying a word.
Halfway through the journey, the phone rang.
Shen Yan was driving, reached out and pressed the button of the earphone pinned to his ear, and picked up the call without even looking at the caller.
"Where?"
Jiang Cheng's voice was extremely clear, with a rising tone, and he seemed to be in a good mood.
Shen Yan: ...
He touched his ear again, but he took off the bluetooth headset and threw it on the side passenger seat, gnashing his teeth.
Shen Yan found that he had really underestimated Jiang Cheng's cheekiness. He even thought that this might not be the Jiang Cheng he knew at all, but someone pretended to play tricks on him!
The phone hadn't been hung up yet, and the other side seemed to be talking, but it was so vague that he couldn't hear what he was talking about. Shen Yan only felt that his mood had reached the bottom of dawn for a moment, and his face turned dark again involuntarily, making him sink When Fu got out of the car, he looked at him more cautiously and strangely.
Shen Yan didn't know where Jiang Cheng got his mobile phone number. In order to prevent receiving Jiang Cheng's call again, Shen Yan simply turned off the phone before getting out of the car, then straightened his facial expressions, followed Shen Fu, and went to Lao Yang. The head family gave their family New Year greetings.
Lao Yangtou's family welcomed him warmly, and Shen Yan never showed the slightest bit of unhappiness, only Shen Fu would glance at him from time to time, as if he had something to say.
The year Jiang Cheng left, Shen Fu was still in high school, a closed school, and it was the busiest time for homework, so he couldn't stay at home for a few days a month, and his family deliberately kept it from him, so he only knew Jiang Cheng went abroad, but he didn't know what happened between him and Jiang Cheng, and Jiang Cheng never came back, and Shen Fu probably didn't have any impressions in his heart, except that he would ask questions in the first year , and never mentioned it in front of Shen Yan again, and the Shen family even avoided mentioning it, and Shen Yan would not take the initiative to say a word to Shen Fu, so that now, Shen Yan wants to talk to someone I don't even know where to start with these words.
But Shen Fu must have noticed that he was not in the state these two days. If you ask later, should you tell him? But it looks like a very appetizing side dish.
Shen Yan: ...
Regardless of whether he is Jiang Cheng or not, we can discuss it later.
Before going to bed at night, everyone deliberately made space for him and Shen Fu. Shen Fu looked at him and knew what he wanted to ask, but he still asked, "Why are you still here?"
Shen Fu looked at him with rare seriousness and sincerity, "Brother, do you have something on your mind?"
"Is it obvious?"
Shen Fu said with a nonsense look on his face, "Even the Range Rover, which I detested before, has come out, what do you think?"
Shen Yan: ...
It's true that he doesn't like suvs, but is it so obvious? Anyway, he still goes for maintenance every month, without interruption.
Shen Yan suddenly wanted to laugh, he was his brother after all, but he didn't want to say what he wanted to say to Shen Fu at first, he just asked ambiguously, "Could it be possible for someone who liked women before to like men?"
After Shen Fu heard him say this, he had an expression struck by lightning, "Brother, don't scare me, you like a man?!"
Shen Yan sneered, and replied, "It's not about me." However, he thought in his heart that he didn't like it, but liked it a long time ago.
Shen Fu looked at him suspiciously, and finally believed what he said, and began to enlighten him.
"... Did someone fall in love with you?"
Unexpectedly, Jiang Cheng's face flashed in his mind, Shen Yan couldn't help but look away, "I'm just asking casually, it's fine."
"Brother, the point is not gender, but whether you like it yourself. Parents should not mind the infinite archive."
Shen Fu rarely called him brother in such a serious way, let alone cheered him up in such a serious way, and did not express any opinion on the matter that he might like men. It would be a lie to say that he was not moved, but after all, he is a brother, Shen Yan I have already passed the age of putting all my emotions on my face, so I got up and said, "Well, I got it, go to bed early."
Shen Yan thought that he would not be able to fall asleep, but who knew that he fell asleep after lying on the bed for a while, and then had a dream.
I dreamed that I saw Jiang Cheng for the first time that year. In the courtyard of the Wen family, the back of the young Jiang Cheng was as tall and straight as a green pine. When I met him in the afterglow of the setting sun, my heart jumped.
Then the screen changed to that year by the river, Jiang Cheng said he liked him, he was holding himself on the surface, but his heart was already beating out of his mouth, and then they kissed naturally, deep in the kiss, Jiang Cheng let go of him, repeated Whispered in his ear, "A Yan, A Yan..." It was like calling him the treasure in his heart, as if he was afraid of breaking the dream if he spoke louder.
In the end, it was the last time they met before Jiang Cheng went abroad. With his back turned to him, Jiang Cheng said softly but coldly, "Shen Yan, you go back first."
Then he went away without hearing for seven years.
Shen Yan woke up suddenly, opened his eyes and panted hard, trying to exhale the nightmare feeling in his heart.
He really hasn't dreamed about it for a long time. During the few years when Jiang Cheng first went abroad, he couldn't get a good night's sleep almost every night.
Shen Yan reached out to turn on the light, his fingertips were still trembling, but he had already calmed down, put on his nightgown and went downstairs to pour a glass of water, sat by the bed and drank it in one gulp, then turned on the phone.
The phone was silent, no calls, no messages.
Shen Yan hooked the corners of his lips, and lay down on his back again.
The phone rang "jingle bell".
Shen Yan: ...
He stared at the phone for a long time, as if he wanted to see through him, and then when he was finally about to pick it up, the ringing stopped abruptly, and Shen Yan took a breath stuck in his throat, exhaled for a long time, and smiled again, that's right ,fair enough.
He stretched out his hand to caress the phone, but the call came suddenly. He didn't check it for a while, and just swiped the answer button. Didn't sleep?"
Shen Yan: ...
Why did you call when you knew it was time to sleep.
He didn't speak, and said over there, "I know it's impossible, but I still want to ask, do you miss me too."
He used the word Ye, and Shen Yan almost didn't want to say anything.
For a while, neither of them spoke. Shen Yan turned his head to look at the sky outside, and it had begun to light up slightly. After a long time, he said to the quiet cell phone, "Jiang Cheng, I was eighteen years old when I met you." , I was twenty years old when I was with you, and I was twenty-two when you left..." He paused, and then said, "Now I am almost thirty years old, we spent four years together, but It took seven years to separate, Jiang Cheng, how do you think you can go back?"
On the other end of the phone, Jiang Cheng suddenly reached out and grabbed the shirt on his chest, his lips trembling due to the sudden heartache.
"I know, so we don't go back, we start over."
Shen Yan laughed, "I'm not eighteen years old, I don't have the time and energy to accompany you to start again..."
Jiang Cheng interrupted him suddenly, and said to himself, with a quick and panting tone, "When you were eighteen, I was twenty-one. I liked you the first time I met you at my uncle's house. , when you were twenty, I was twenty-three, and I was studying hard while thinking about how to tell you that I have planned all possible futures for us."
Without saying a word, Shen Yan acquiesced to the only chance given to Jiang Cheng to defend himself. Jiang Cheng owed him an explanation. Not only Jiang Cheng couldn't let it go, but he couldn't let it go.
"Then when you were twenty-two years old, my mother called. She was so angry that she was at high risk of a heart attack and sent to the hospital. She wore an oxygen mask and warned me that if she dared to be with a man, she would immediately Go to hell, she's used to being strong in her life, she said it without even thinking about this kind of thing, but even at that time, I never thought about giving up on you."
Jiang Cheng's tone calmed down, but Shen Yan held his breath.
"I think it will take a long time, as long as we are together, there will always be a day to convince her."
"Then she found out that the person I like... is you. I didn't expect that she would make trouble at your house, let alone that she would tell my uncle and aunt that I have a fiancée who is well-matched. The first time I saw Uncle Shen In such a rage, Mr. Shen couldn't hold the crutch in his hand anymore, he pointed at me with trembling fingers and couldn't even say a word. I think how much he liked me back then must have hated me. I knelt on the ground trying to defend myself, and then my mother held a knife to her own neck."
"She said, Jiang Cheng, if you dare to say a word, you will never have my mother again."
"When you wanted to see me but I didn't agree, my mother had prepared all my documents and wanted to send me abroad, but I didn't agree. She broke three of my ribs, and I didn't agree either."
"If I can't be with you in this life, it's better to just kill me." Jiang Cheng smiled, it didn't seem like he was talking about his own affairs, which was related to Shen Yan, so he felt that the sky was going to kill him. It collapsed.
"My mother knows me very well. She has been quiet since then. I thought... I thought I had impressed her." Jiang Cheng laughed at himself, and his voice became hoarse again, "She took pictures of us... Put a mosaic on my face, and then throw it on my face, saying that if I don't go abroad, she will send a copy of these photos to everyone. She said that the Shen family ruined her son, and she would not hesitate to die with the Shen family fish , sometimes I always feel that my mother must be crazy."
"It wasn't until that time that I began to regret that I thought about the future too simply. I have no power or power, and I can't protect you at all."
"In the end, I agreed to go abroad by myself, and I promised never to contact you again, on the condition that she leaves City H from then on, and can no longer threaten you with anything. After arriving in England, I escaped from her control and went alone I started studying alone, I need power, money, and the courage to stand by your side without fear one day.”
"Then it will be seven years."
Jiang Cheng finally stopped and said with a long breath, "A Yan, do you believe it?"
Shen Yan was speechless.
He didn't know what to say.
These explanations came too late, and he felt a pity from the bottom of his heart for being late, but he couldn't say a single word to comfort him.
"I believe."
In addition to the letter, it seems that there is nothing to say.
He needed an explanation from Jiang Cheng, and Jiang Cheng gave him an explanation, other than that, these words could not solve any problems, nor could they make up for the seven years they had passed away.
"It's already dawn." Shen Yan said softly, "Hang up."
Jiang Cheng was silent for a while, and finally hummed.
He never thought of using these explanations in exchange for Shen Yan's forgiveness. If he was wrong, he was wrong. He owed Shen Yan, and he couldn't make it clear with such a few light words.
Although the reality back then was far heavier than these few light words.