"Cough cough."
Zhang Ruowan bent over, her throat was dry and itchy, she continued to cough several times, her head felt dizzy and painful. Feeling weak all over.
She slowly opened her eyes and looked at the ceiling above, motionless, her eyes were empty and lifeless.
Looking back carefully on the past year and a half, it was like a nightmare for her.
She was looking forward to marrying Ji Yang, but encountered cold violence after marriage, cheating, miscarriage, being rejected, divorced...
I don't know if it is to punish her for having a smooth life in the first twenty years, and to encounter such misfortune in the second half of her life.
Her parents got seriously ill one after another, and she also lay on the bed and couldn't get sick, living her life in a daze, just wanting to commit suicide.
It's not that she didn't think about her parents, it was too difficult to live, she couldn't cheer up, she felt sick, and she was in the ice cellar all the time, in a very numb state.
The doctor said that I have a tendency to depression and need to take medicine to control it.
When Zhang Ruowan closed his eyes, a tear fell from the corner of his eyes.
Ji Yang, Ji Yang, why are you doing this to me
I didn't know how long I had been lying there, when there was a small sound outside the door, and then the door was opened, and someone walked in.
child's voice
She felt like she was hallucinating.
It must be Zhang's father and Zhang's mother who came back, they would hold their hands, their eyes were red, and they secretly wiped tears from time to time.
Zhang Ruowan was so overwhelmed that she felt that she was a burden.
Bring down the whole family.
"I want a big plane, Dad, and a car." Xiao Ji took off his cotton-padded jacket, and wore a yellow short-sleeve with a black superman painted on the front, holding two loofahs in a bag, and walked towards the kitchen clumsily. .
"I'll buy it next time. I can't get it today. I put the loofah on the table. I ate the breakfast. The soy milk is in my father's hand." Ji Yang held his seven-month-old daughter in one hand and passed the other hand over.
Classmate Xiao Ji put down the bag, walked over again, took the soy milk, saw that there was only one cup, and raised his head, "Where's mom's?"
He is only four and a half years old, but he knows a lot.
"Mom doesn't drink this. Dad cooked white porridge for mom." Ji Yang patted his head, put his daughter down, and carried the fish and meat to the kitchen. After washing his hands, he quickly went into the bedroom, and finally rushed to the living room The two said, "Keep your voice down, don't wake up mom."
"Hush." Classmate Xiao Ji put his little hand near his mouth, and looked at his sister who was sitting, "Mom is sick, don't wake her up."
"Yeah." Ji Xin crawled towards Ji Yang.
At this time, Ji Yang had already entered the room, and the room was dark with the curtains drawn and the lights turned off.
He went over and drew the curtains aside.
Zhang Ruowan felt very uncomfortable, drowsy, a little awake but didn't open her eyes, and didn't have the strength to lift her fingers.
"@#%%..." Ji Xin pushed open the unclosed door and came in, laughing as he crawled, seeing his father crawling faster.
"It's okay to be quiet for a while?" Ji Yang had no choice but to turn around and walk over to pick her up, and said softly, "Mom is sick, don't make noise."
It was winter vacation at this time, and the husband and wife happened to be free, so they asked Zhang's father and Zhang mother to go to the south for a vacation and play for a few days. Unexpectedly, Zhang Ruowan was sick, and it was still hard for him to look at the two children alone.
Ji Xin huh huh huh twisted her body and wanted to go to bed.
Zhang Ruowan was still sick, and the child's resistance was weak, so he didn't dare to let his daughter get too close and put her down. .
"Wow..." Ji Xin began to cry softly.
"Don't cry, Dad will make milk powder for you soon." Ji Yang held his forehead and looked outside, "Hehe, come in and look at my sister."
Ji He walked in with a small body. He looked at his younger sister on the ground, comforted her with a milky voice, put his hands under each other's arms from behind, and began to drag her outside.
Ji Xin looks chubby, but it's not light, he tried his best to nurse, in exchange for Ji Xin crying louder and louder.
Ji Yang walked to the bed and looked sideways at the two brothers and sisters.
Classmate Xiao Ji blushed and continued to hug Ji Xin, "Dad, I'll give my sister a toy gun to play with, and I won't fight her."
After finishing speaking, he coaxed his younger sister, "Mom is sick, and Xinxin will also get sick if she is disobedient, and she will get injections and medicine when the time comes."
Dad told him that illness is contagious. Although he is worried about his mother, he can't touch her too much, and wait for her to recover.
Ji Yang was making milk powder, tested the temperature of the water, quickly added the milk powder, and walked over shaking the bottle.
Zhang Ruowan felt extremely noisy.
She must be sick, otherwise why such auditory hallucinations
For a while, the child's voice, for a while Ji Yang's voice, and for a while there was a buzzing sound in my mind, which kept ringing non-stop.
Ji Yang is a big villain, so she shouldn't think about him, don't dream about him, Zhang Ruowan thought, and tears flowed again.
With a stuffy nose, she took a breath.
Ji Yang gave the bottle to his son, turned his head to look at Zhang Ruowan, bent over to look at her, leaned over and put his cheek against her forehead, and he was relieved when the fever subsided.
He put his hand around her head and whispered, "Wanwan, are you still feeling bad? Get up and have some porridge, and we'll take some medicine."
"Mom, take the medicine." Classmate Xiao Ji hugged his younger sister, and also spoke, while Ji Xin, who was being held by him, was holding a bottle and drinking milk.
She's hungry, so she doesn't make trouble.
Zhang Ruowan felt that Ji Yang's voice was in her ears, and she felt even more uncomfortable, with a tearing pain in her heart valve.
Opening his eyes, he saw Ji Yang's shadow dimly, his vision was blurred and he couldn't see clearly.
Not only auditory hallucinations, but also hallucinations.
She was afraid that her illness would get worse.
Seeing her crying, Ji Yang was taken aback, "Isn't it better today? If it's really uncomfortable, I'll take you to the hospital for an injection in the afternoon."
This kind of cold actually needs a process. It can be cured after taking medicine and resting for a week, and the effect of injection is not obvious.
But if it is really serious, it will be suppressed by injection.
Zhang Ruowan kept staring at him, her tears became more and more fierce, and she was out of breath. She understood that this was either in a dream or in an illusion.
It was impossible for Ji Yang to come to see her, even Zhang's father and Zhang's mother begged him to come, and it was impossible to coax her with such a gentle tone.
Everything changed completely after he was cold and violent and cheated. She couldn't imagine that a person would completely change his face, become unrecognizable, and she didn't know him at all.
When she cried, not only Ji Yang was frightened, but also the two children were frightened. Ji Xin still didn't understand anything, biting her pacifier, looking pitifully at Zhang Ruowan's direction, Xiao Ji understood a little, he He ran over and lay down beside the bed, "Mom, don't cry, just take the medicine and you'll be fine."
"What's wrong?" Ji Yang held her face in both hands, tried to wipe her tears with his thumb pads, "It's hard? Headache?"
"Mom, mom." Classmate Xiao Ji took Zhang Ruowan's hand softly, and said softly, "Mom, don't cry, don't cry."
"Wow..." Little Ji Xin looked at his brother, then at his father, and hearing his mother's cry, he cried even louder.
Just as Ji Yang was about to turn around, Zhang Ruowan suddenly reached out and hit him. Before he could react, the other party hit him while crying.
It didn't take much strength, and it didn't hurt, but the other party's sudden out-of-control behavior blinded him.
"Give me back my child, my child, my child..." Zhang Ruowan felt pain, and kept hitting him, "My child..."
That was her aborted child, and she heard the child called mother in dreams countless times.
her child.
Zhang Ruowan cried very hard, grabbed him and kept asking, "Why? Ji Yang, why are you doing this? Why why why?"
Why do you treat her like this
Almost desperate, life would be better than death, destroying everything about her, so he would be happy? Why are you so cruel to her
"Mom..." classmate Xiao Ji was also frightened and cried, "Wow..."
Mom and Dad fought.
Xiaofang from the kindergarten said that her parents would get divorced if they fought, and then they would not live together. Her father would marry another woman, and she would have no father.
"Wanwan, calm down, don't scare the child." Ji Yang grabbed her hand and hugged her forcefully.
"No more children, no more children!" Zhang Ruowan cried and yelled at him, almost breaking down, "It's all you, it's all you!"
He clearly knew that she was pregnant, regardless of her feelings.
She was already prepared for a divorce, but she was afraid that she would compete for his demolition funds, so she forced her to divorce and leave the house.
She thought that the man who didn't care about her had planned her long ago. Like a fool, she was fooled around by him.
Ji Yang's eyes sank, looking at her struggling in his arms, he had a guess in his heart.
"Ji Yang, you are so ruthless, so ruthless, why did you treat me like this?" Zhang Ruowan's beautiful eyes were full of tears, and her lips trembled with anger.
"Wanwan." He held her face in his hands, "What's wrong, let's talk slowly, don't scare the baby."
Children are Zhang Ruowan's taboo. She has a lofty awe of life and has full expectations for this child.
To this day, I still cannot accept that the child is gone.
She lost control of her emotions again, and the voice of Xiao Ji's classmate next to the bed choked up, "Mom, don't be angry, mom, be good."
Zhang Ruowan looked at him, and stopped. The little boy looked like in her dream, with big round eyes, like Ji Yang's eyebrows and nose, cute and pleasing.
Tears flowed down her face, blurring her vision.
"Hehe just said to ask his mother to take him to the amusement park. When you are well, we will take Hehe and Xinxin to the amusement park." Ji Yang continued to wipe her tears, with a gentle voice, "Did you have some nightmare? ? I'm here, don't be afraid."
Zhang Ruowan was a little dazed, the dream was too real, she stretched out her hand to classmate Xiao Ji, tremblingly said, "Come on, come and hug me."
She is not yet a mother, and has not yet had a chance to see the child.
Classmate Xiao Ji looked up at his father.
"Mom misses you, go, let mom hug you." Ji Yang patted his head, picked him up and put him on the bed.
"Mom." Classmate Xiao Ji just called out, but Zhang Ruowan hugged him tightly and cried.
Mom is too enthusiastic, what should I do
Something was wrong with his mother today, and he thought about it again. His mother seemed to be sick, and she felt uncomfortable when she was sick, so he wanted to comfort her.
Classmate Xiao Ji patted Zhang Ruowan's head with her chubby little hands, pretending to be old-fashioned, "Mom obediently takes the medicine. Dad said that mom will recover after taking the medicine. Let's play together when you are well."
Go to the amusement park together.
Ji Yang looked at the mother and the child, and didn't step forward to disturb him. His feet were hugged. He looked down and saw that Ji Xin was holding him, and he stretched out his hand to ask him to hug him.
He picked her up, and Xiaotuanzi bent down on the bed again.
It turned out that the goal was not to be hugged by him, but to find Zhang Ruowan on the bed.
"You want to comfort mom too?" Ji Yang chuckled, and put her on the bed, Xiaotuanzi crawled quite fast.
Babbling and screaming, she crawled to Zhang Ruowan's side.
"Slow down, Dad won't hug or coax you when the fall hurts." Ji Yang said to her.
Zhang Ruowan hugged Ji He, and soon noticed Xiao Tuanzi crawling beside her. The other party was wearing a princess dress, a small red woolen hat on his head, a red rope on his hand, and a small pendant .
It is made of powder makeup and jade.
Xiaotuanzi couldn't speak, so he smiled at her. She was lying on her stomach, drooling, and her baby teeth had grown out.
It's heartbreakingly cute.
This is not her child. I just heard Ji Yang say that he is a father, so... she is not a mother.
There is only one explanation, the child he had with someone else!
"Take it away!" Zhang Ruowan looked at him, her eyes were stained with hatred, her head was dizzy, she couldn't tell whether it was a dream or reality, and she yelled at him, "Take your child away! Go away!"
Half a year after he got married, he had already cheated. It was ridiculous that she was the one who foolishly found the reason on herself.
"Wow..." Ji Xin cried in fright, and looked at her father helplessly.
"Mom scared my sister." Classmate Xiao Ji felt sorry for her sister and said to Zhang Ruowan.
Zhang Ruowan looked at the little girl, confused and stopped her emotions. The adult's business has nothing to do with the child. Then she looked at Xiao Ji, let go of her hand, her eyes dodged, she shook her head and nodded, her eyes were empty, "Yes, she is you Sister, my child is gone, I have no child."
In the future, others will give birth to Ji Yang, but the doctor said that she must take good care of her, otherwise it will be difficult to conceive in the future.
"Mom..." Classmate Xiao Ji looked at Zhang Ruowan, he felt that his mother was so strange today.
Ji Yang carried classmate Xiao Ji down, and then hugged his daughter to coax her. Zhang Ruowan on the bed turned her back to them, lay down and hugged herself curled up and cried.
He stared at her back for a while, then walked out with his daughter in his arms and his son. After a while, another person walked in.
Zhang Ruowan was crying silently.
With a "snap", he turned on the light, and the room lit up, "I'll take you to the hospital for an injection, don't cry."
"The baby is making trouble in the morning. I'm afraid I'll disturb you and take you out to rest. Does it make you worry?"
Ji Yang said and went to bed, picked her up and held her in his arms, "I said, you will always be the most important, really, the most important."
"I'll take you to the hospital."
"I'm not going!" Zhang Ruowan shook off him, but was stunned when she looked at the room. It was a little dark in the room just now, so she didn't look at it. Now she looked, where is this
Not the school dormitory, not the Zhang family.
The bedroom is spacious, with a large window in front, a small balcony, a large cabinet on the side, a crib next to the bed, milk powder on the table, the curtains are her favorite light blue, and the chandelier is her favorite white.
She felt strange, but felt very familiar. She imagined countless times that she and Ji Yang would decorate like this when they had money to buy a house.
Where is this? Dream or hallucination
She was obviously seriously ill, and was taken home from the hospital by Zhang's father and Zhang's mother. She lost her job, lost her marriage, lost her love, and was devastated.
"Are you angry? Then don't go. Your fever is gone. There shouldn't be any major problems. Then get up. I'll cook the porridge. After eating, we'll take the medicine." Ji Yang pulled her up and kissed her on the face , said with a smile, "When did you have such a temper? You still beat people, Wan Wan, domestic violence is wrong."
Zhang Ruowan is at a loss, Ji Yang is warm, it doesn't look like a dream, is she sick
I was dying of a terminal illness and was about to die, so I had hallucinations.
She was dragged to the living room by Ji Yang in a daze, and sat on the dining table. He walked into the kitchen and said, "Hehe, look at my sister, don't kowtow."
"Give my sister soy milk." Xiao Ji said.
"Don't give it, dad will feed you later." Ji Yang stopped.
"Oh." He obeyed obediently.
Zhang Ruowan looked towards the living room. There was also a large balcony outside the living room, with sunlight shining in. The interior decoration was mainly in a simple style. It seemed that the space was large, and there were many children's items, which looked very warm.
so familiar.
Such a house is expensive, she can't afford it, and neither can Ji Yang.
"Drink some porridge and take medicine after drinking." Ji Yang put the bowl in front of her, and there were some minced meat in the bowl. He sat opposite her and looked at her, "You have a fever and a cold for four days, but it makes me tired It's too much, parents go on a trip, look after two children alone, and take care of you, neither of them can rest assured."
"I'm going to the bathroom." Zhang Ruowan hurriedly got up and walked to the side, and looked at the mirror above after entering.
She suspected that she was not herself.
Where is this place? Besides Ji Yang, who are those two children? Why do you call her mother
The face on the mirror was still hers, but it didn't look alike. There were a lot of skin care products on the sink, all of which were brands she used.
Zhang Ruowan supported the sink, her mind was in a mess.
She is clearly divorced from Ji Yang and has no children. She has returned to Zhang's house and has been ill for a long time. She is very thin and has heavy dark circles under her eyes. However, this face is well maintained, with delicate and shiny skin.
"Wan Wan?" Seeing that she hadn't come out for so long, Ji Yang cried out worriedly.
"Here we come." Zhang Ruowan didn't understand the situation and decided to stand still, walked out, and sat on the dining table.
She was indeed hungry, she lowered her head to eat the porridge in front of her.
Ji Yang has long since ceased to be so gentle and considerate, staying away at night, yelling at her, and having a very bad temper.
At this time, he went to the living room to bring the baby over. The baby was really cute, with a round face.
"Mom is sick, dad hugs her, and dad gives Xinxin apple puree." Ji Yang sat in front of her and coaxed the baby, and looked at Zhang Ruowan from time to time, "Mum is not good, if she is not good and obedient, she will get sick, and if she is sick, she will feel uncomfortable." .”
"Take medicine, and you will be fine after taking medicine." The little boy came over, "Dad, I want to eat apples too."
Ji Yang put down the baby and went to wash apples for the two of them.
He just bought the apples today, and he said while washing, "Fruits are too expensive this year. I bought three small apples for nearly 40 yuan, and imported large cherries cost over a hundred yuan in a small box."
Zhang Ruowan didn't answer him, and now she is still in the trap.
When he came over again, he gave the little boy half an apple, held the baby and fed the fruit puree, and put a small plate of carambola in front of her, coaxing her like a child, "After eating, go take the medicine, and then eat it." Fruits, I also bought dragon fruit."
"There is also a big grapefruit." The little boy said loudly, "I heard auntie say that the big grapefruit is ninety-eight yuan."
Zhang Ruowan didn't believe it.
She has never eaten such an expensive grapefruit.
"Hehe said it was delicious last time, so I bought one and peeled it off to eat at night." Ji Yang lowered his head and fed the baby another mouthful.
After taking the medicine, she ate carambola, which was very sweet.
Ji Yang made the lunch. She was watching the baby in the living room. The baby was very clingy to her and asked to be held all the time. The little boy played with building blocks by himself, which was very worry-free.
The recipes are quite rich, all of which are light.
Stewed chicken soup with black fungus, fried shredded potatoes, fried sweet potato leaves, steamed eggs and fried pork slices with loofah, and a plate of steamed fish.
A very small piece was placed in front of the little boy, as if it was specially prepared for him.
Zhang Ruowan was puzzled, and pretended not to say casually, "I want to eat fish too."
Why not feed her? Ji Yang didn't eat either.
"Do you want to eat it?" Ji Yang raised his eyebrows, a little confused, "Didn't you say you don't want to eat it? You don't like the taste, so you bought a small piece."
"Cod." She looked over.
"Well, cod, you said that cod has high nutritional value, and you have to buy a piece for Hehe every week." After he finished speaking, he looked at Ji He, and the little boy had already pushed the small plate in front of her, "Give it to mom, He He will eat it tomorrow. "
"No, I just said, don't eat." Zhang Ruowan pushed back.
She likes to eat cod, it smells delicious when steamed, looking at the little boy's face, she already understood that if it really came from her mouth, it was to save money, cod here is very expensive, two hundred yuan a piece, Zhang Fuzhang Mothers seldom buy them.
Ji Yang picks up vegetables for her, and picks up vegetables for his son, and eats himself.
The baby sat on the side drinking milk, and the family enjoyed themselves happily. Zhang Ruowan ate along with her, resisting the discomfort.
She doesn't believe in ghosts and gods, so she doesn't feel that she travels through time, her body is her body, but she would rather believe that she has amnesia, but what happened to those things with Ji Yang
Vividly, really experienced.
After the meal, Ji Yang put the bowl into the dishwasher. She looked at the fruit in the bag beside it, and there was a receipt inside.
The big grapefruit is really ninety-eight ones, and the beautiful big cherries are more than one hundred and ten yuan.
Even a large carambola she ate costs more than 20 yuan.
All are bought from imported fruit supermarkets.
"It's so expensive." She unconsciously said, Zhang's family is also a working family, which can make her have no worries about food and clothing, but can't let her spend so extravagantly.
She has not been a teacher for long, and her salary is not much. She wanted to save money to buy a house with Ji Yang before, so she was willing to spend so much.
"For the baby and you, no matter how expensive you are, you have to buy better ones. I dare to buy cheap ones?" Ji Yang stood up, stretched out his hand and pinched her nose, "Besides, if you don't worry about feeding the baby, you will have to eat them again when the time comes." Say me."
After becoming a parent, I have to do my best to give them the best in everything, and I feel bad and worry all day long.
Zhang Ruowan was no longer used to being so close to him, her eye sockets were a little swollen looking at his face.
It's been a long, long time since they had a good conversation, Ji Yang scolded her as soon as he spoke, the two quarreled, and finally he slammed the door and left.
Later, he didn't bother to talk to her, and once told her to stay away and not bother him.
"Take the medicine again, and you'll feel better when you wake up tomorrow." Ji Yang put his hand on her shoulder, pushed her to the bedroom, and sighed, "Mom and Dad will come back tomorrow, so I can breathe a sigh of relief too. , I'm exhausted."
"Whose parents?" she asked.
"Did you forget that your parents went on a trip? Have a fever and get confused?" Ji Yang teased her with a smile, "After retirement, my parents travel to the south every year, and the two of us can see it during the winter vacation. This is not because you are sick. I'm in a hurry."
Zhang Ruowan understood.
Her parents.
Ji Yang's mother is a farmer, so there is no such thing as retirement.
Thinking of her parents, her eyes were a little swollen, and she couldn't help crying again. In that "dream", she was most sorry for her parents.
She has worked so hard to raise her, but when she should enjoy the blessings, she is dragged down. If she is sick, what will the two of them do
But it's so hard to live, why drag others down
Living is so tiring, it hurts to breathe.
"Xinxin is asleep. I'll help Hehe take a bath. If you're sleepy, go to bed first." Ji Yang kissed her, patted him on the shoulder, and walked to a room.
Zhang Ruowan held back her tears and walked into that bedroom. The baby was sleeping soundly on the small bed next to the bed, and she walked in.
There are skin care products on the dressing table, which are still her favorite brands, and there are some baby products and a photo frame on the other table.
She walked over gently and picked it up.
The photo frame shows a sweet family of four. It should have been taken not long ago. The baby is lying on the front, holding his head up and grinning. Ji Yang is holding the little boy, and "she" is leaning on Ji Yang, holding his arm , smiling and looking at the camera.
The happiness in her eyes hurt her eyes, and she really couldn't pretend that feeling.
She reached out to touch it, a little obsessed, if Ji Yang had always been so good to her, and the two of them had always been so good, would they be like this
So happy.
I don't know how long I stood there, but as soon as I put down Ji Yang, he walked in, took the clothes and went into the bathroom again, "I'll take a shower first."
With a "bang", the door closed.
Her eyes fell on the mobile phone next to the bed again, it was a black mobile phone, it couldn't be hers.
That's Ji Yang's.
She knew him well, and she had seen him through time and time again. She had never checked his mobile phone before, but she indulged him too much.
He has been ambiguous with many people for a long time, even the students can do it, and cheating has become a common occurrence.
Pressing the phone, she was in a daze for a while looking at the screen saver, it was the photo she just saw.
Although he acted that the Gu family loved her, didn't he also do it before
The phone was unlocked with a fingerprint, and her heart sank. After pressing it, it unlocked. It seemed that she really believed that she would not look at it.
She quickly opened the social software, scrolled down and rummaged to see what chat records were there.
I saw a few girls' profile pictures, but I didn't delete the records. The chat was normal. Either the female teacher asked for information about work, or the female student asked about class affairs.
She saw herself and clicked on it.
Most of the chats between the two were voice, and some were also typed. She looked at the chat records and her pupils shrank suddenly.
Put down your voice and click on one of them.
"Husband, come back this afternoon and help me buy some apples. I really want to eat them. I'm going to Chenghe Imported Supermarket to buy them. The one he ate last time."
"I want a small box of blueberries. I want to eat them. The smallest box. Thank you. I love you."
"The baby is making trouble. When will you come back, husband? I will cry too. The two babies cry together."
…
She clicked in one by one, and it was indeed her voice. The latest ones were at six o'clock last night.
"Cough, cough, my throat hurts so much, why don't you buy me cough drops when you come back, I want to eat spicy crayfish."
"There's no cough drops, and there's no crayfish either." Ji Yang's voice was a bit fierce, and when she clicked on the next one, his words became softer again, "There's stewed pears in rock sugar, so I'll take you to eat."
The conversation between the two is very routine, and "she" sometimes sends him some small videos of children.
"Whose cute baby is this?"
"Hehe drew a picture today, saying that dad is the most handsome dad."
…
The interaction is full of love, so it goes without saying that Ji Yang's pampering and pampering, that "she" is held in the palm of his hand.
Like a newly married her in love.
The handle of the bathroom door moved, and she quickly exited, put down her phone and turned to get clothes from the closet.
"I'm going to take a shower." She walked into the bathroom with her head down.
"Yeah." Ji Yang rubbed his hair, looked at her back and didn't say much, his eyes fell on the mobile phone next to the bed, and he turned his eyes away for a second, and walked to the side.