"Fuck."
"Fool!"
"Rush up, kill, shit!"
…
Through a door, the crying of the baby in the bedroom kept coming:
"Woo hoo."
"Wow woo woo woo..."
…
"Don't cry, don't cry, mother hugs." The woman in pajamas was holding a child in her arms, and the baby was crying heart-piercingly.
The woman has an oval face, with soft features, but her skin is a little pale, and the corners of her lips are even bloodless. She seems to be in a bad state of mind.
Tired and helpless.
Tired of hugging and coaxing her, she leaned her back against the wall, her hands were already sore, but she didn't dare to put them down, and there were still scoldings coming from outside the door.
The people in the living room thought the bedroom was too noisy, so they moved the computer to the living room to play games.
"Kill."
"Stupid pig, idiot, grass mud horse."
…
Cao Jin looked at the sleeping daughter in his arms, who could wake up at any time, and then cried a lot. The sound of mechanical keyboard and mouse came from outside the door.
When the child was completely asleep, she slowly put it on the bed, looking at the messy bedroom with clothes scattered everywhere, her mind was buzzing with pain.
Taking a deep breath, he held back his anger and tidied up at will.
Afterwards, she walked out with her clothes in her arms. Ji Yang was playing happily with his headphones on, and the keyboard was crackling.
It's exciting.
Cao Jin put the clothes in the washing machine, turned around and walked in front of him, "How about the resume I asked you to submit a few days ago?"
"It's not good." Ji Yang was doing odd jobs with his fingers, his eyes were still on the computer, he was concentrating on playing his game, and then he responded,
"What do you mean? You didn't even go to the interview." Cao Jin looked down at him, "After so many votes, there is no one you like?"
"Let's talk about it after a while." Ji Yang manipulated the character and made a lore. The person on the opposite side died, and he continued to manipulate the character to move forward.
"How much time will it take? You haven't worked for half a year." Cao Jin was very irritable, and watched him continue to speak, "You said to take a break before, I thought it was fine, but you took a break to play games every day, it's been so long Isn't that enough?"
"The baby is so noisy, you don't help me to see, playing all day, is it interesting?"
"you… "
"Okay!" Ji Yang watched the characters on the computer hang up, and dropped the mouse forcefully, "Are you annoying? After talking for so long, I will be tired even if you are not tired!"
With a sullen face, he leaned back and didn't look at her.
Cao Jin was stunned by his yelling at first, then looked at him with red eyes, his voice trembling, "Aren't I tired? Am I willing? Am I willing to force you like this?"
"You escape from reality, but this family needs money, and the children need money!"
After she finished speaking, she kept looking at him, and her eyes fell on him. Ji Yang was silent for a while, then got up immediately, and said, "Isn't the deposit still unused? What's the hurry?"
After speaking, he went into the room to get his clothes, came out and went into the bathroom.
There is impatience in the look.
Cao Jin looked at the closed bathroom door with a lot of feelings, and his heart was extremely heavy, feeling that life had lost its purpose.
He always said to rest before going, and after rest, he would go again, and he would not die of hunger.
Where can I not die of hunger
She saved tens of thousands before, but now she only has a little over 20,000, which will be spent soon. Now that she has a baby, she has to spend money everywhere, and she can't go out to work.
"Wow woo woo woo..."
Before she could recover, the children in the house started crying again, and Cao Jin walked into the house with tired steps.
In the bathroom.
Ji Yang is taking a bath, by the way to refresh his mind.
This time it was the original owner's daughter, Ji Jin, who made the wish. She wanted her father to be a qualified father.
Don't let the family repeat the tragedy of the previous life.
Now he has just been married to Cao Jin for one year, and Ji Jin for two months. Speaking of which, he was considered a qualified boyfriend when they were in love, but he is not a qualified father's husband after marriage.
Now, citing a lot of pressure, he has been lying at home for half a year, playing games every day, and the marriage money and previous savings have been squandered to nothing.
According to the route of his previous life, he continued to stay at home after squandering. Cao Jin gradually became cold towards him, so he could only take his mother to take care of the children and go to work by himself.
Rent, living expenses, human relations... are all borne by her, but he secretly got together with a married woman behind her back, and began to be cold and violent.
Cao Jin is a child from a single-parent family. Knowing the harm a single parent can do to a child, she gritted her teeth and endured it. The husband and wife were strangers.
If this is the case, it's okay, the original owner is scum, he tried every means to cheat Cao Jin's money, and even secretly spent the school registration fee for his daughter, and even maxed out his credit card to buy game equipment, owed tens of thousands.
Even though he was on the blacklist for credit investigation, he didn't care about it. He spent a lot of money buying things for his lover's son. He didn't even look at his own child, but he treated his lover's child as if he was seeing his own child.
Cao Jin was finally disheartened and prepared to divorce Ji Jin after the college entrance examination, but he didn't leave, claiming that he would delay her to death.
The two had been entangled all their lives. After Cao Jin was exhausted physically and mentally, he was blackmailed by him, stole all the money she had worked so hard to save, and sent her to the hospital in anger.
Ji Yang didn't end well in the end, his wife and children ignored him, his lover's son picked him up after he grew up, and he was alone, and no one came to see him when he was sick.
To put it simply, he is lazy and just wants to play games at home instead of working to make money. After all, making money is very hard, and he also said that he is under a lot of pressure.
In fact, it was free.
Ji Yang sighed from the bottom of his heart, his heart was full of evasion at this time, and he had a headache when he thought of making money.
I thought all day long: What kind of marriage is fine
After taking a bath, he walked out. The baby's crying continued, and he walked towards the bedroom. Seeing her coaxing the baby, his heart became even more irritable.
Take the clothes from the chair, put them on and go out again.
"Help me boil some water. I need to make some milk powder for Xiao Jin later. I'm very tired today." Cao Jin asked him to do something as if he was begging him.
Ji Yang didn't speak, and walked out.
Ask him to boil water, he really only knows how to boil water, and as if he was giving her alms, when Cao Jin went out, he started playing games again.
Whether you are tired or not.
Cao Jin had a headache, went to the bedroom and closed the door, not wanting to see him.
It's okay when you get married, and it's okay when you're pregnant. When the child is born, it's all over the place.
Seeing that the door was closed, Ji Yang also stopped playing games.
He opened the original resumes, one by one.
In fact, the original owner's academic qualifications are not bad. He graduated from a key university and came to a big city from a remote mountain village to study finance.
In this line of work, when the market is good, he can make a small amount of money, but it is also exhausting. Gradually, he doesn't want to do it anymore, but he has a child, so he can only escape from reality.
How cool is it to stay at home and play games
If he goes out to work, he will have the halo of a prestigious university, and most companies will pay him around 10,000 yuan.
Ten thousand yuan is enough to spend in a small place, but in a big city, without food or housing, you can get less than 8,000 yuan after deducting the five insurances and one gold.
The rent is 4800 yuan, water and electricity bills, a round-trip car fee of several hundred yuan, telephone bills of several hundred yuan, food and drink three thousand yuan, and then it has to be from nine o'clock in the morning to nine o'clock in the evening or eleven or twelve o'clock.
Might as well not go.
Picture what
But the qualifications are still young, and the salary is not high, some only pay seven or eight thousand, which is even more fatal.
He opened the recruitment website again to see if there was a higher salary, and then opened his resume.
This resume was made for him by Cao Jin. One can imagine how much he didn't want to work.
After searching around, the qualifications like him are usually around 10,000, and if it is higher, it is 11,000, and people have more requirements, need to have experience, and have been working for at least five years.
He worked hard and worked for three years.
Never mind.
That's five years.
Opened the resume, polished it, and sent it.
He opened the game again and looked at the equipment in the game account. At this time, the original owner had bought a lot of equipment with his own money.
The money was a bonus before resignation, and Cao Jin didn't know it, but he had already spent it all.
Games can give him a sense of satisfaction, Lian Lianmai can still be called a little brother by a little girl, life is nothing but pain.
Therefore, he was addicted.
Cao Jin wanted to pull him out again and again, shattering his dreams, and he was even more annoyed, wishing to find a clean place.
In the middle of the night, the clock pointed to twelve o'clock.
With itchy hands, Ji Yang played a few more games, turned off the computer, stretched his muscles, yawned, and was about to go back to the bedroom to sleep.
Just when the door was opened, Cao Jin had already changed and was coming out.
"Where are you going?" he asked.
"Go out." She was still holding Xiao Jinjin in her arms, and the other party's eyes were wide open, very energetic.
"Going out so late?" He frowned.
"She will cry if you don't go out for a while, can you sleep?" Cao Jin said this with a little anger.
Before he could reply, he had already left.
It was only then that Ji Yang realized that Xiao Jinjin would have to be taken shopping after twelve o'clock. If she was at home, not only would she not be able to sleep, but she would not be able to stop crying.
For this reason, he was disturbed to sleep, and he even lost his temper once.
"boom."
The sound of the door closing brought him back from his thoughts.
He sighed inwardly, quickly changed his clothes and went out.
In the past, for the convenience of going to work, I rented a house in the third ring road. Housing prices in metropolitan cities are expensive, and I rented a stair room with one bedroom and one living room for 4800 yuan, which is still old and small.
In the middle of the night, Cao Jin walked out with the child in her arms. This is not a bustling area, and there are few people on the road.
The dim streetlights stretched her back very long, and she gently coaxed her to sleep while holding the baby.
Not far away, neon lights were flickering, she would be lost in looking at it, and sometimes the tip of her nose would be sour.
She knew that she was beautiful since she was a child, but her family background was not good. Many people disliked her as a single-parent family. Her mother worked in a welfare community and paid five social insurances and one housing fund for only 1,500 yuan a month.
It is already the limit to serve her confinement.
When I met Ji Yang, he climbed out of the mountains and felt that he should endure hardships and stand hard work. She didn't want much, and the two of them worked hard.
But up to now, he complained a little bit about her insisting on giving birth to the child. Now the two of them have nothing, and they have increased the burden.
At this time, Ji Yang was looking at her from the other side.
Cao Jin was tired from walking, seeing that the daughter in her arms had already fallen asleep, sitting on the chair next to her, she was also extremely sleepy, holding the child tightly, she would squint for a while.
From time to time, one or two cars passed by on the road, and when she heard the movement, she would struggle to open her eyes again.
Ji Yang walked over slowly and sat quietly beside her.
Cao Jin sleeps very lightly and never dares to sleep, but for the first time he didn't notice him by his side, and it was already three o'clock when he opened his eyes again.
After a while, the baby should wake up and drink milk.
At this time, she will go back to sleep peacefully after drinking the milk.
When she went back, Ji Yang had already fallen asleep in the bedroom, and he was sleeping soundly, so he didn't care about your life or death.
What is there to be sad about now
It should be sad, it should be sad, it has already bled and scarred in the past two months, if she makes a fuss, Ji Yang will just pretend not to hear it and pretend to be dead.
It's me who is aggrieved.
Putting Xiao Jinjin on the crib, she said softly, "Don't cry, mommy will make milk powder for you."
The other party put his small hand in his mouth and looked at her with small eyes.
Cao Jin tried to brace himself, but he was a little weak when walking, and accidentally bumped into the chair behind him.
"Bang Dang", the daughter didn't cry, but Ji Yang was awakened, he frowned, squinted his eyes and sat up.
Cao Jin didn't look at him, turned around and went to make milk.
She knew that he wouldn't ask her why she didn't sleep now, but just lay down and continued to sleep.
"Wow woo woo."
Before she prepared the milk powder, the daughter in the bedroom was already crying loudly, so she could only speed up.
As a mother for the first time, there are many things she doesn't understand, and the child is still young, so she can't take care of many things, so the child is particularly noisy.
Within five minutes, Ji Yang would come out to sleep on the sofa with a blanket, and he would look impatient.
When she opened the milk powder can, she looked at the milk powder that was about to bottom out, her eyes were dim, but her daughter was still crying, so she could only speed up.
After washing, Ji Yang was walking out when she walked in.
He leaned over to let her in, but she didn't give him a good face. She walked in shaking the bottle, and fed her daughter after trying the temperature.
After a while, Ji Yang came back again.
She looked at him sideways, and said, "She'll be asleep in a while, if you think it's noisy, go to sleep in the living room."
"It's okay." Ji Yang said, climbed onto the bed, covered the quilt, and seemed a little embarrassed not to look at her, "Do you need my help?"
"What will you do?" Cao Jin looked at him, his tone was very calm, it was a kind of resignation that no longer holds hope after disappointment.
In the past, she saw that there was light in his eyes, but now when she looked over, those beautiful eyes were empty and lifeless, and the light was completely scattered.
"Just now I wanted to hug him, but I couldn't." Ji Yang explained, and then said, "I'm going to interview tomorrow, there is a good company."
"Then you come back for lunch?" Her face remained unchanged, "If you don't eat, I won't do your share."
Before, when she was pregnant and couldn't cook, she ordered takeaway. Later, it was more economical to cook by herself, but she didn't have time, so she could only cook a little in a hurry.
As for Ji Yang going to the interview, it was mostly perfunctory for her, went for a walk and came back, and then lay down for a while with peace of mind.
She is tired.
"Probably not, it's quite far away." Ji Yang exhaled, "There is one for ten thousand and one for ten thousand."
"I don't understand either, you can figure it out." Cao Jin took out a piece of paper to wipe her daughter's mouth, and continued his words.
Anyway, he was talking to fool her.
She used to work as a hotel lobby manager with a monthly income of tens of thousands. She quit when she was six months pregnant. After all, there was no one to take care of their children.
I thought he would work. Although the salary is not high, he still has some savings. It will be fine if the child is one and a half years old.
But Ji Yang made such a move for her, it was really because the plan couldn't keep up with the changes.
"Ten thousand a month, people come and go, and there is no money left in hand, food, drink and transportation will cost three to four thousand, there are people's skills in the world, and rent." He said a little annoyed.
"Then if you don't go, don't you eat or drink? Where does the money come from? There is no milk powder." She looked at him, "I am not forcing you, I want to work too, can you take care of the children at home? We There's always someone going out."
Ji Yang lowered his head and looked at the child with unclear emotions in his eyes, "Both of you are so tired, what are you trying to do?"
"I used to work for a while, even if I quit my job, I would be fine lying at home for a few months, but now I feel uneasy lying down."
…
"It means we are a drag on you, right?" Cao Jin looked at him, his eyes slowly turning red again, "We are your burden, aren't we?"
"No." Ji Yang denied, feeling a little depressed, "I don't know what to say, I'm quite confused anyway."
"Then can you go to work first? I won't be able to hold on anymore." She sat down on the edge of the bed, lowered her head, and was so depressed that she almost begged him.
She used to think that she could buy a car and a house, as long as the two of them worked hard, they would have everything.
Now I don't dare to think about anything, I just want to be able to support my children.
Cao Jin felt that her body and mind were beginning to have problems. She wanted to eat more so that she would have milk for her child instead of formula milk, but she began to anorexia and became sensitive and irritable.
Xiao Jinjin, who usually fell asleep after drinking milk, didn't know what was going on, and continued to cry.
As soon as she cried, Cao Jin became irritable and negative.
"Go, I'll go and have a look tomorrow." Ji Yang seemed helpless, "Hurry up and coax her, you can sleep well after coaxing her to sleep."
Cao Jin didn't even have the strength to argue with him, and felt that it would be more reassuring if he fell asleep, so he picked up his daughter and continued to coax her.
It was almost four o'clock when she was coaxed to sleep, she couldn't hold on any longer, she got into bed and fell asleep.
She just fell asleep, Ji Yang didn't open his eyes, pulled the quilt towards her as if unconsciously, and held her in his arms again.
The original owner is good-looking, and Cao Jin's face and figure are naturally the best, otherwise he wouldn't have fallen in love at first sight, chased after her, and then got married.
Now, he must have feelings for her, but the pressure of life and escaping from reality have made him gradually lose love, and she is still pushing him, which makes people feel rebellious.
It was getting colder.
When Ji Yang got up, both of his family members were soundly asleep, so he slowed down, took his clothes and walked out.
Cao Jin was awakened by her daughter's crying, and opened her eyes with a splitting headache.
Looking at the clock on the wall, it was already half past eight. She looked around, and saw that Ji Yang was no longer there, and she didn't hear the sound of the keyboard in the living room.
He applied for a job.
It's a lie that I don't expect at all in my heart. This family needs money, and raising a child requires money. She is a woman who has just given birth, and she really can't help it.
Waking up is another burst of busyness.
Ji Yang has no ability to live at all, the changed clothes will be thrown away, and the broom will not be helped when it is down. After feeding her daughter, she quickly went to cook porridge, put some meat in it for a while, and then put an egg.
In this way, it can be served as breakfast or lunch.
After drinking milk, the baby will sleep for a while, the floor is so dirty that it turns gray, and the soles of the feet are black when you step on it with bare feet.
no way.
Start mopping.
After dragging, she took out the clothes from the washing machine to dry. After drying, her waist ached. She looked at herself in the mirror.
His face was sallow and lifeless.
In the past, I planned to get back into shape after giving birth, do sports rehabilitation, and work hard to maintain it, but seeing the messy life now, it is not easy to live on.
She has never lacked suitors since she was a child, and she also knows that she is not bad in appearance, but she has never used her appearance to seek something.
It is said that one can get married better by relying on appearance. She has always disdained such a statement and longed for equal treatment, but now she has ended up like this.
The faith in my heart collapsed a little.
After a while, the child should wake up again. She didn't drink much milk just now, and now she has to drink some more.
It seems that there is nothing busy, but in fact, he has been busy all day long.
I just sat down and had to cook again, it's already evening, I don't know if Ji Yang will come back for dinner.
If she doesn't want to eat, she can just order some noodles herself, and the takeaway will be delivered in half an hour, and it's less than fifteen yuan.
Just as he was thinking, the door opened.
He walked in.
Cao Jin observed his expression, saw that his face was expressionless, and he didn't know what else he was holding in his hand.
Judging from this appearance, he definitely didn't pass the interview.
Her heart slowly became cold again.
Immediately, I have to pay rent and buy milk powder, and it is impossible for my child to go to nursery school.
"I bought some barbecue." Ji Yang put a bag on the table, "Do you want to eat?"
"The rice is cooking, but the vegetables haven't been cooked yet." She hugged her daughter and returned to him.
"Don't fry it. Just order a takeaway, just order two green vegetables." He said.
"It's up to you." Cao Jin looked at her daughter's diaper, carried her back, and then gave her a bath.
Coming out again, the takeaway has been delivered, Ji Yang ordered a fried green vegetable and a fried bean, took out the bacon he bought, and opened the box.
Cao Jin drank some porridge at noon, and was hungry, so he walked over and sat down.
Ji Yang gave her a bowl of rice and a pair of chopsticks.
She ate while hugging her daughter, and didn't ask him about the interview. According to past experience, any question would put him under pressure, and any question would make him feel bad.
The two just ate, there was no communication, only the sound of bowls and chopsticks colliding.
After a while, Ji Yang said, "I went to five companies today."
"Yeah." She replied, without emotion.
"The one I want to go to the most, but the agreed 10,000 yuan turned into 8,000 yuan when I went there, so I came out." He picked up a vegetable.
Cao Jin didn't speak, and didn't want to answer him.
In the past few months, there have been all kinds of excuses, and she is tired of hearing them.
Anyway, he just didn't want to go, he was too tired and tired, so he didn't want to do it.
"The second one is the one in case, but they have to work overtime every Saturday, which is equivalent to four extra days of work." Ji Yang buried his head in his meal, "I promise them to go to work tomorrow."
Cao Jin stopped holding the vegetables, as if he thought he heard it wrong.
"I'm quite confused. From your pregnancy to Jinjin's birth, I feel very tired, but I don't know where I am tired. I am avoiding and anxious every day. If this is the case, I might as well go to work."
"Maybe I won't think so much when I'm tired."
His voice was low, his words were tired and helpless, and he seemed unwilling to do this.
Cao Jin felt that he was worthless. In the past, he didn't work at home, and he didn't take any responsibility. Now he is forced to work and wants to be a top to earn money to support her and the children. Suddenly he feels that it is not easy for him.
He was also a new father, a former boy.
Looking at the child in his arms, Ji Yang's eyes softened, "It's good to work too. After working, I can earn money to buy milk powder for Jinjin, and I can buy a lot of things when I go to school."
Cao Jin: "..."
His thinking is simple, when the child grows up, all kinds of money will be spent, but he doesn't have any plan, just buy milk powder to go to school
"I'm going to work tomorrow, and I can play games." Ji Yang went to the side and turned on the computer after eating.
Cao Jin didn't stop him, and finally went to work. If he still quarreled with him, maybe he wouldn't go tomorrow.
However, when she thought of him going to work, she breathed a sigh of relief.
The salary is not much, but if she can maintain the daily expenses, the anxiety in her heart will be reduced a lot.
The child is quite well-behaved today, sleeping on the bed without crying or fussing, Cao Jin took a bath while she was asleep.
Ji Yang used to play games until after twelve o'clock. At that time, she was already going to take the baby for a walk outside.
Holding her out today, Ji Yang called to stop her.
"What are you doing?" Cao Jin looked at him, who was still operating the keyboard and mouse, "Wait for me, finish playing this game."
She ignored him and walked out directly.
"I'll tell you to wait a moment, wait a moment." He yelled anxiously, still operating quickly, his movements getting faster and faster, he quickly killed his opponent, threw down the keyboard and ran out.
He didn't follow Cao Jin until he went downstairs. He didn't pay attention, and almost fell, shaking his body.
Made her laugh.
"I'll ask you to wait for me." Ji Yang walked up to her, and looked down at the big toe that had just been hit by a stone, and it was a little torn.
Cao Jin naturally also saw that she wanted to say something, but in the end she held back, "What are you doing?"
"It's so late, I don't worry about you being alone." He said.
"Then you carry it." She said and was about to hand her daughter to him.
"I won't." He shook his head, still a little helpless.
"I didn't see you caring before." She held her daughter in her arms again, turned her eyes away from him, and couldn't guess his purpose.
"I didn't think it was dangerous before, but I saw someone snatching a child at the train station today." He made up a random story.
When Cao Jin heard it, his back felt cold, his hands holding his daughter were tight, and his breathing was a little short.
She was promoted to a mother and knew the importance of children to her. If she was robbed, she didn't know what she would become.
"Although the law and order is very good recently, don't come out without me in the future." Ji Yang watched a car approaching, and pulled her aside.
Cao Jin originally didn't care that he could accompany him, but when he heard him say that, he couldn't refuse at all.
There was silence.
I just hope he doesn't break his word.
The street at night was very quiet, and the evening breeze was very comfortable. With one hand in his trouser pocket, he walked forward beside her with his head bowed.
Dimly, she glanced at his profile from the corner of her eye, with a straight nose and three-dimensional features.
He is also like a big boy, doing whatever he wants.
And her
This is just one year.
It has become beyond recognition.
I lost my freedom, lost my job, lost a lot, and was trapped at home. I originally wanted to start a family with him in exchange for joy, but now I want to die.
I wondered countless times whether it was right to give birth to this child.
Shouldn't he have listened to him and beat the child
But looking at the lovely face of the daughter in my arms, sometimes I feel that it is worth it, no matter how hard and tiring it is.
After walking around for a long time and coming back, Xiao Jinjin fell asleep in her mother's arms. Cao Jin was tired from walking, her feet were weak and her hands were sore, so she sat down on the bench next to her.
He sits next to her.
Cao Jin ignored him, but for the first time he felt at ease and could close his eyes.
"Sleep, sleep for a while and go back." He spoke softly.
She didn't respond, she slept so deeply for the first time after giving birth.
Ji Yang sat and watched her for a long time, and finally the baby in her arms woke up and moved several times, but Cao Jin didn't move.
He reached out to play with her.
The other party didn't cry or make trouble, and stuck out his little tongue at him, showing a smile.
The corners of Ji Yang's mouth turned up unconsciously.
He had been looking forward to this child, but this four-horned gold swallowing beast was too fierce and uncute, making him, a novice father, just want to hide away.
There is no way, men and women are inherently different, and they can't experience the pain of pregnancy in October. As a new father, they are actually ignorant of their children's emotions.