Kurosaki Yao didn't go to the kitchen to harass Bai Xiaoyu anymore, he knew that if this continued, he wouldn't be able to eat this dinner.
Although Bai Xiaoyu can cook with peace of mind, it's easy to think about many things when alone. So when Bai Xiaoyu was chopping vegetables slowly, his mind turned to the issues that he had wanted to think about before.
Originally, he wanted to let go of the warmth in the game, and use the four days of real life to think about whether he should continue to associate with Kurosaki Yao like this. But the sudden arrival of Kurosaki Yoshi disrupted his plan, and brought the illusory warmth in the game into reality.
These made the balance in Bai Xiaoyu's heart tilted to the side where he wanted to keep in touch with Kurosaki Yao. But Bai Xiaoyu also understands that the biggest problem between them is that he has something to hide. Although Kurosaki Yoshi said that he would not force him, but with heart to heart, if Kurosaki Yoshi obviously has something to hide from him, he must feel a lot of pain in his heart.
However, Bai Xiaoyu had experienced the indiscriminate interception by the media of good things, and he knew that the pain of uncovering the previous scars was only for him. During that time, he kept telling himself repeatedly, don't say anything, don't say anything.
So facing Kurosaki Yoshi, there was a voice in his heart whispering "don't say it". But now, he actually has the desire to confide, because he hopes that this feeling can be pure without any concealment, but he doesn't know when or how to speak.
Perhaps he has been hesitating and missed good opportunities to speak again and again. Such a weak self is what he hates the most, so he decided not to be confused anymore, and must tell Kurosaki Yao everything when he finds an opportunity.
After making up his mind, Bai Xiaoyu focused his attention on the knife. It was really rare that he failed to cut it after struggling for a long time.
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Ordinary three dishes and one soup, although the selling price is not as good as those made in big restaurants, but the taste of home is beyond the reach of the latter.
Kurosaki Yao picked up a piece of scrambled egg with tomato and put it into his mouth to taste slowly. He looked up and saw Bai Xiaoyu looking at him nervously.
"It's delicious, Xiaoyu."
"Huh... that's good." He breathed a sigh of relief, and he tried hard to remember how much salt and sugar should be added, but everyone's tastes are different, and Kurosaki Yao's ability to accept this taste shows that he was successful.
"Don't stand around stupidly, let's eat together."
"kindness."
Although there were not many words during this meal, the two of them were moved in the same mood. How long has it been since someone sat around the dining table at home to eat like this? Bai Xiaoyu knew it for more than a year, but Kurosaki Yao didn't remember it.
Since moving out from home, Kurosaki Yao often goes to and from major restaurants for dinner parties or ordering takeaways. Even if he lived with his elder brother before, the two of them hardly cook in person. They either work part-time or take out. Eating is like It's just a form of energy replenishment, and the idea of someone so close cooking for themselves is a fantasy.
Therefore, Kurosaki Yao wanted to cherish the child in front of him even more, because Bai Xiaoyu also brought him too much warmth.
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Cleaning up after meals is much easier. Bai Xiaoyu just needs to put the dishes and chopsticks into the dishwasher, and the machine will clean them automatically. Seeing that the dishwasher was working normally, Bai Xiaoyu got up and looked at Kurosaki Yao who was still in front of the TV in the living room, but there were some boring entertainment programs after dinner, and Kurosaki Yao kept switching channels.
Would this be a good speaking opportunity? Bai Xiaoyu couldn't figure it out himself, but now he finally mustered up the courage to speak up. If he missed it, he didn't know when he would be able to confess next time.
"Yao..." Bai Xiaoyu walked up to Herosaki Yao and called out, successfully attracting the latter's attention.
"Huh?" Kurosaki Yao indicated with his eyes what's wrong
"I have something to say to you."
Kurosaki Yao, who was switching channels, paused, as if he sensed that there might be some important words.
"I thought about it a lot, and I decided to tell you everything, so that you can re-judge whether you want to continue dating me." After speaking, Bai Xiaoyu's heart ached a little, and his hands unconsciously twisted his Clothes hem. He was actually afraid, afraid that Kurosaki Yao would think him a coward, and afraid that he would take back what he just said, but he didn't want another layer of paper between the two of them.
Bai Xiaoyu's small actions betrayed his uneasy mood, which made Kurosaki Yao feel a little distressed. He turned off the TV, stood up, and took Bai Xiaoyu into his arms. He hoped to use this silent action to give Bai Xiaoyu strength.
Bai Xiaoyu reached out and hugged Kurosaki Yao back, he was very greedy for this warm embrace full of security. Because of this, he hopes that he can be qualified to have this embrace.
"I... never told anyone, maybe it was a bit messy."
"Well, it's okay." Kissing the restless little head in his arms, Kurosaki Yoshi knew that all he could do now was to listen.
Bai Xiaoyu took a deep breath, sorted out his somewhat confused train of thought, and decided to start directly with the reason.
"I'm afraid of the traffic outside."
Kurosaki Yao was surprised by the first sentence, but he didn't make a sound and continued to listen quietly.
"My parents were killed by an out-of-control smart car more than a year ago..." This word still makes Bai Xiaoyu feel a little heartbroken, "It's right in front of my eyes."
"Since then, whenever I see a vehicle, my legs will involuntarily go weak. I was going to try to get out this afternoon, but I drove a black car just a few minutes before you came. I just sat slumped on the ground and couldn’t stand up. In fact, I also know that my legs are fine, but I can’t overcome this psychological shadow.”
Bai Xiaoyu understands that he can explain his problem in a few words, but the sadness and pain behind it cannot be described in words, and how can people who have not experienced it personally understand it, so he has chosen to endure it silently for a long time with. Taking a breath, Bai Xiaoyu continued, "I'm sorry, Yao, I didn't keep rejecting your invitation on purpose, but I really can't go out like this."
"Little fool, you don't need to apologize all the time. I never blamed you, didn't I? Because I know you must have a reason." It's just that Kurosaki Yao didn't even think of this reason.
He actually imagined many possibilities, such as family reasons or physical reasons, but he didn't think of the more troublesome psychological reasons. Because the first two can be solved, even if the health is not good, with the current advanced medicine, as long as you have money, the "terminal illness" that was considered before can basically be cured.
But the psychological aspect is still an unknown field full of mysterious aura in this era. Its formation, development and treatment methods are all heavily personal, and it is difficult to summarize a 100% effective measure.
"Then...then are you...willing to continue...associating with me?" Bai Xiaoyu hesitated, he was very afraid of hearing a negative answer.
Hearing Bai Xiaoyu's voice trembling in his arms, Kurosaki Yao tightened his arms, really wanting to rub this little idiot into his body, "Xiaoyu, did I make you feel so insecure?"
"No." Bai Xiaoyu shook his head, "It's just that I don't think you like cowards."
"You're right, I really don't like cowards." Feeling a stiff body in his arms, Kurosaki Yao continued, "But Xiaoyu, I never thought you were a coward. On the contrary, I think you are a very strong people."
"But... I dare not even leave the house."
"It's not that I dare not, you tried it this afternoon, didn't you?" Now that he knew the reason, Kurosaki Yao planned to use his method to guide it slowly. "Xiaoyu, you just can't go out alone, because no one can help you when you fall. But you don't have to worry now, with me by your side, I will never leave you alone."
"Won't...leave me alone again?" He repeated mechanically, and Kurosaki Yao would never have imagined how much impact this sentence would have on Bai Xiaoyu's heart. Ever since his parents passed away, he had been suppressed for a long time. And helplessness surged up in an instant. Mingming kept telling himself that a man should not cry, but the tears suddenly flooded like a flood that broke the embankment.
"Well, Xiaoyu, you are no longer alone, because we will continue to communicate." Kurosaki Yao originally wanted to say that he would help him overcome this psychological shadow, but he felt that his shirt was a little wet I decided to just give Bai Xiaoyu time quietly.
Kurosaki Yao doesn't think it's a shame for a boy to cry, especially because he knows that Bai Xiaoyu has actually suppressed it for a long time, and venting it may help treat his mental illness.