"How's the food, Taoist Mu Si?"
Under the moonlight, beside the melon field, Russell looked at Simu with a joking expression, but Simu only rolled his eyes in response.
This was followed by four vigilant looks.
He seemed to remember something and clasped his hands tightly against his chest.
"Wow! Since when did you learn to read minds?"
Simu Darling jumped back repeatedly, covering his chest with one hand and his lower body with the other. He found that two hands were not enough, and finally thought of a good idea.
Cover your face.
There's no point in covering your private parts. All men have these things. You don't have any, do you
Russell curled his lips, "You are a grown man, and I am sick and I am trying to spy on your thoughts."
"Isn't it obvious from your expression just now? Also, Uncle Simu, you haven't forgotten your catchphrase, have you?"
Simu thought about it and couldn't help but smile awkwardly. Every time he failed in an argument with Uncle Jiu, he would shout this.
But it never succeeded once.
Don’t be fooled by Uncle Jiu’s honest appearance and thick eyebrows and big eyes. In fact, he is not a good person and is very sinister!
Simu said that he had never won a fight, shook his sleeves and glanced at Russell who was grinning.
He couldn't help but secretly despise him. Today he finally witnessed what it meant to have a family tradition. His great-uncle was evil, his master was evil, his ninth uncle was evil, damn it, now little Russell is also evil!
Am I an outsider
Simu sat down helplessly, looking at the golden roasted fish in his hand that exuded the aroma of beef, and his face turned bitter.
Fortunately, the little kids who had caught fish before handed him a big shrimp, which comforted his wounded heart.
A few people were talking and laughing around the fire, feeling particularly comfortable. It was not a good day to be swaying on the boat.
Counting the itinerary, this was only the first stop of more than ten stops on the way to Sichuan, and it was also the first time that Russell felt the inconvenience of traveling.
If he continues like this, he will probably be almost ten years old by the time he gets home!
If there is a plane, we can arrive tomorrow.
If we had the Dongfeng, we could get there in two or three hours.
But people may not be able to find them, they are all in that pit.
While eating, Russell and Simu raised their heads at the same time, looked at each other, and then made a hushing gesture to the children.
Russell flicked his finger and a thumb-sized paper figure fell into the fire, instantly extinguishing the fire and turning it into ice.
This god-like method made the children's eyes sparkle.
Before they could say anything, a splashing sound came from the river in the distance, followed by a sound like thunder.
“Bull… whoa, bull… whoa!”
This voice made the four eyes stunned. Russell on the side couldn't help but sigh, "There are such shameless monsters in this world who actually promote themselves like this."
Simu snorted, took off his glasses, blew on them, and put them on.
This time it was different. The originally transparent eyes emitted red light, like lasers.
"Damn it! How is this possible?"
Simu finally confirmed what he was looking at. In the distance by the river, there was a huge brown-patterned creature, not sure whether it was a toad or a frog, jumping around.
Unlike a frog, every time this thing croaks, a big bubble will bulge under its chin.
The most outrageous thing is that this thing is almost half a meter tall, just like a calf, and the sound is like a thunder drum.
Compared with this, Russell on the side was very curious about the four-eyed glasses. It is said that seeing beautiful women will prolong people's life and their eyes will light up.
When I saw him today, I realized that what he said was true.
But, there seemed to be something wrong with the four eyes.
"Uncle Master, what kind of magic weapon is this?"
"You don't understand." Simu said proudly, "This is a little magic I researched. I studied the Telescope Talisman and the Illusion-Breaking Talisman, and then engraved this magic on the glasses."
"It's very powerful. Not only can it see far, but it can also see through illusions. It has great killing power against ghosts and monsters."
He had a very smug look on his face. He was a very smart man. He wondered how many of his peers envied him for the magical glasses he had developed.
Russell looked a little weird, and asked quietly, "Can you see through it?"
"cough!"
Simu suddenly recalled the past events that he could not bear to recall. It was all due to his youthful recklessness. He just wanted to be severely beaten.
He spoke righteously, emitting a righteous aura, "I, Simu, am a gentleman, how could I possibly do such a dirty thing?"
He wanted to do it back then, but it was too difficult because it was hard to control. If the perspective was too shallow, he couldn't see through it. If the perspective was too deep, what was so good about the white bones
Even Sun Wukong despises it.
Simu also wanted to find someone for help back then, but then he was given strange looks by his fellow disciples, and then he was hung up and beaten by his fellow disciples for several days.
In the end, everyone in Maoshan knew about it, and the relationship between the brothers became even more harmonious.
It's just that women don't like it...
Hearing that he couldn't see through things, Russell responded with disdain. Simu didn't care and continued to look into the distance.
Let's call that monster a toad monster. It was jumping forward and judging by its appearance, it was most likely heading for the apple tree.
He was full of doubt about life. The reason why he looked so incredulous just now was because of this.
There is no goblin that is a vegetarian!!!
At this moment, he recalled the monsters he had encountered before, such as fox monsters, tiger monsters, wolf monsters, chicken monsters...
They all eat meat, and occasionally there are a few tree spirits that have become spirits, and they also eat meat.
Has the grass become a spirit
Simu said that he had never seen or heard of it.
Just when he was about to share this bizarre incident with Russell, Simu saw something even more life-shattering.
Russell touched his chin as if he was in deep thought, and then took out a piece of paper from his pocket.
Holding it in the palm of his left hand, the pieces of paper automatically folded, broke, and assembled, condensing into a pair of glasses like flowing water.
Then, Russell licked his right finger in his mouth and quickly drew something on the lens of his glasses.
Seeing this, Simu had a bad feeling in his heart. He remembered the hard days he had spent making the glasses magic weapon over the years, and couldn't help but shook his head violently.
impossible!
This is absolutely impossible!
Russell finished the painting in just a few strokes, and then he spun his fingers in the air a few times and pointed them downwards at the glasses.
"Change for me!"
A white light flashed in his eyes, and then they changed color immediately, taking on a metallic luster.
Russell skillfully hung his glasses in front of his eyes, turned his head to look at Simu, and immediately turned his head away in disgust.
"Ah! You shameless old man, you don't even wear underwear!"
Russell had a look of disdain on his face. Since he was six years old, at his strong request, Uncle Nine had never let him wear open-crotch pants again.
Walking the bird is not a good thing!
Easy to be bounced.
Speaking of this, Russell couldn't help but recall the sad history of the past. People nowadays are sometimes really more open-minded.
Simu, who was standing by, blushed. He was a careless person. He went out in a hurry this time and only took two pairs of underwear with him.
One is washed but not dry, the other is dirty but not washed. Which one do you want to wear
So he chose not to wear it and wore a long Taoist robe on the outside. He originally thought that he would not be seen through, but he did not expect such a thing to happen.
He looked so embarrassed that he used his claws to dig out a three-bedroom apartment on the ground. Fortunately, he was thick-skinned and pretended to be calm and pointed into the distance.
"That toad demon is trying to steal things again. Don't forget your important task today!"
"Too."
Russell nodded. They were not here for a picnic tonight, but to help the farmer get rid of the monster that stole apples.
Looking at it now, it’s most likely that the toad monster did it!
But Russell was not in a hurry. He just watched there quietly. He had to catch the adulterer and the evildoer and get evidence.
He is a decent guy!
Just as he was staring intently, the man behind him showed a weird smile and stretched out his hands quickly.
"Bring it here!"
Russell felt his nose lighten, his glasses were gone. He turned his head and saw Simu running around like a naughty boy, dancing and staring at his X-ray glasses.
"" (One hundred thousand beautiful Chinese words are omitted here.)
Russell raised his middle finger in disdain and ignored the shameless Simu. Anyway, those glasses were not made of top-quality talisman paper and would be broken after being used twice.
The most urgent task now is to borrow the toad monster's head.
Russell is so cute, I think the toad spirit will agree
"Go back now. Don't hang out here late at night!"
Russell warned the children that it was very dangerous to go out at night. Not to mention the demons and monsters, just those nasty beggars could tear countless families apart.
He shook his right hand and threw a dollar to each of them.
This can be considered a small act of kindness. Children from poor families have to grow up early and will surely understand that wealth should not be revealed to others.
If you can't hold on, you'd be a real waste!
The children's eyes widened. One of them, without any disgust, put the dollar in his mouth and blew it hard, then put it next to his ear in a clumsy yet skillful manner.
He had seen others do this countless times, but he had never touched it in his life.
There were two or three pieces at home, but his parents never showed them to him and kept them hidden.
“Ah, there really is a sound!”
Several children burst into tears with excitement. With this money, they could perhaps become apprentices or learn a craft.
A person's destiny has changed!
Russell turned his head away. These were a group of carefree peers who studied in school and played King of Glory.
This era!
He raised his hands, and his whole body seemed to be possessed by the god of thunder, with lightning flashing everywhere, and he flew away.
At this time, the toad spirit had come to three meters away from the apple tree, staring at the apple tree with its two big eyes.
There was a sudden snap, and quickly, one of the apples on the tree was gone.
If it were an ordinary person, he would definitely be confused, but Russell could see clearly that the toad spirit's tongue was as fast as lightning, rolling up one and swallowing it.
This is catching the person red-handed!
"You are such a bold monster, how dare you commit such evil here and kill so many people at will..."
Russell choked, looked at the apple tree, and didn't know what to say next.
This isn’t taught in TV dramas or novels!
The toad looked at Russell flying over without any panic and was very calm. It just sat cross-legged quietly on the ground.
"Little Taoist priest, is it illegal for me to eat an apple?"
"this… "
Russell scratched his head. "Although it's not against the law, it's definitely wrong for you to steal someone else's apple."
The toad demon glared at him and said, "Little Taoist priest, let me tell you, you can't defame someone's innocence. How can this be called stealing?"
"I understand. This is not called stealing. This is called stealing."
Russell laughed, rubbing his hands together, "I'm planning to take advantage of you and borrow your head for a bit."
"No! I refuse!"
The toad spirit shook its head violently, raised its huge paw, bent its claws, and left a sharp claw pointing to a place.
"I'm not stealing. I bought them with money. One tael of silver per piece should be enough, right?"
Monsters spend money to buy apples to eat
The corner of Russell's mouth twitched, and he slowly descended. Following the guidance of the toad spirit, he indeed found a silver ingot on the stone under the tree.
This silver ingot is emerald green all over and is badly corroded. It is obviously a worthless product.
The Toad Spirit took two steps forward, tilted his head, and explained proudly, "These foreign apples are quite delicious. I have never eaten them before. They are very fragrant. I ate dozens of them just for the sake of novelty."
"I still have a bunch of these silver ingots, but they are all in the river and nobody wants them. They are no different from those broken stones."
"You humans are so weird, treating this broken stone as a treasure."
"It's better to eat a big goose!"
Hearing this, Russell couldn't help but touch his nose with his hand. He was speechless for a moment.
After all, no matter how precious this apple is, it is not worth a silver ingot. Look at this toad spirit, he is not plagued by sin.
Russell was a little confused. He didn't expect that his first time going out to do justice would end in disaster.
He comforted himself, as long as I don’t have a car, I won’t be able to overturn.
"One more thing!"
Russell touched the silver ingot in his hand. Although it was a worthless commodity, it would definitely be more valuable than silver ingots if sold as an antique, but the risk was quite high.
However, farmers should have a solution. The melting point of silver ingots is still very low, and they will melt after being burned.
Don't ask him how he knew this. In his previous life, he was naughty and put some silver coins in the box of warm food inside the coal stove, and as a result, they were gone.
For this, Russell also had a free meal of fried pork with bamboo shoots.
"Why did you scare that farmer?"
Russell was talking about the man who grew apples. It was said that he was so frightened that he rested for many days before he recovered.
Speaking of this, the toad spirit felt even more aggrieved. It hung its head, drooped, and muttered quietly, "I am ugly and scared people, but this is none of my business."
I took a look at the toad spirit. It was as tall as a calf, with brown skin. It could jump several meters high and its tongue was as fast as lightning.
Any normal person would be scared to death.
Russell: …
Looking at the aggrieved and pitiful toad spirit in front of him, Russell could only wave his hands helplessly and let it go.
As soon as the toad spirit left, Russell could no longer hold back and sighed to the sky.
Nowadays, the monsters are so polite and moral, no wonder the people who practice Taoism are in decline.
Nowadays monsters just don't play by the rules!
If you don't eat people, I will be laid off!