"Damn it, these foreigners are crazy! They not only like men, but also dead people."
"What a pervert!"
Uncle Jiu looked at the foreigners screaming excitedly. Although he couldn't understand what they were saying, he could see their excitement. A chill came over him, and he was so frightened that he trembled all over.
He quickly shook his finger and controlled the zombies to jump down from the roof. The group of foreigners rushed out in a swarm, chasing the fleeing zombies.
"Ah Wei! Come on! Let's take a plane and leave here."
This! It's too dangerous!
"Uncle Feng, where is my great grandfather?"
"Don't worry, I'm in control."
The two men left the auction house in a hurry.
At this time, everyone on the street was stunned. They stared in amazement at a man in strange clothes jumping five or six meters high on the street. It was simply incredible.
"Oh, my god!"
"ese kong fu!"
"ese Li!"
They drove their cars, screaming and swarming after the zombies, and the entire street was instantly blocked.
Uncle Jiu had cold sweat on his forehead. The people here were too exaggerated. Why weren’t they afraid of zombies
He and Awei squeezed through the crowd, and finally fled in panic with the zombies. What his young apprentice Russell said was right, the men here were really scary, and he didn't know which pervert touched him just now.
So scary!
The two took the zombies on board the plane, and the pilot quickly drove the plane back, thus escaping from the crazy people.
"Phew, thank you Uncle Feng for this time."
Awei let out a long sigh and wiped the sweat from his forehead with his hand. He was really scared to death just now. He thought that he couldn't get his grandfather back.
"I should be loyal to the people who entrusted me with this. This is what I should do."
Uncle Jiu took out a piece of yellow paper and stuck it on the zombie's head. He then let out a long sigh of fear. The world outside was too scary.
He sat down slowly on the chair, looking at the large number of airplanes with a bit of curiosity. Although he had already taken one and seen them several times, he still couldn't help being amazed.
It's amazing that mortals can fly so high with the help of tools. Technology is really amazing.
Uncle Jiu sat there thinking and planned to go back and buy two business books to read. If this trend continued, Taoist priests would definitely decline. He must prepare in advance and create a bright future for his disciples.
After all, people call you Master and Grandmaster, you can't lead them down a path of no return.
Uncle Jiu was quite open-minded about this. He had had a premonition twenty years ago. At that time, no one in Renjia Town was willing to learn Taoism from him because they thought that the charity cemetery was unlucky.
With the rapid development of science and technology, this trend has become more and more obvious. Uncle Jiu decided to follow the advice of his young apprentice Russell and embark on the road of business, giving him a bright future, so that more people will become his apprentices.
"Hey, Uncle Feng, what do you think this is?"
Awei looked at his ancestor and unexpectedly discovered that he had a small notebook with a few words written on it.
"Zombie Instruction Manual."
It feels a bit weird.
Uncle Jiu couldn't help but be a little surprised. He took the instruction manual and read it carefully. He found out that this zombie had been trained. No wonder it was auctioned off and didn't suck human blood.
There are actually people in this world who train zombies and sell them. Is this a method used by the Corpse Raising Sect
He carefully looked at the last page of the instruction manual, which marked the location of the training camp. Coincidentally, it was also in Hong Kong.
Uncle Jiu memorized the address and couldn't help but fall into deep thought. How did this person train zombies to be intelligent
Just as he was thinking, he suddenly felt a violent shaking, followed by the pilot cursing out loud.
He didn't understand, so he could only ask Ah Wei, "What's wrong?"
Ah Wei's face was grim. "We seem to be in trouble again. The fog outside is too thick and the plane has lost its direction."
Lost your way
Uncle Jiu was thoughtful and took out a compass from his arms. It was the first time for the pilot to see such a scene. He was completely numb. He used the compass to guide the plane...
The pilot was skeptical, but he actually found the right direction in the fog and flew out. He gave a thumbs up and praised the plane.
Before the three could be surprised, a new accident happened: the plane ran out of fuel.
This was a big deal. The three of them quickly threw everything off the plane. The pilot drank the Happy Fat House Water in one gulp and threw the Coke bottle out. It fell from the sky and knocked down a foreigner who was threatening the natives on the spot.
“Boom!”
The natives knelt in a row and kept giving thanks, saying that this was God's will.
They thought it was God saving them. The foreigners saw the Coke bottle and pointed it at the sky and cursed, but the next second they were hit by a pile of debris and fainted.
So accurate!
The plane was still low on fuel and was about to fall. The pilot grabbed a parachute with a gun, opened his arms and jumped out.
Ah Wei was anxious, "Uncle Feng, can you skydive?"
"Won't."
"Then we're done. There's only one umbrella bag left."
“I can’t skydive, but I can fly.”
Uncle Jiu waved his hand, and in front of Ah Wei's confused eyes, a cloud slowly flew to the door of the plane. He stepped on the cloud and stood steadily in mid-air.
Ah Wei: …
"Uncle Feng, what about my great-grandfather?"
"Just let him jump. He's thick-skinned and won't die from the fall anyway."
Awei hurriedly supported the zombie against the plane door, but the zombie just stood there motionless, its eyes looking down, and its legs trembling.
This zombie is afraid of heights?
Uncle Jiu almost laughed out of anger. He kicked the zombie on the butt and kicked him down. "Fuck, such a big zombie is afraid of heights. You've completely embarrassed the zombie."
He stepped on the auspicious clouds, holding Ah Wei in one hand and chasing the falling zombie. However, the wind in the sky was too strong and the zombie was heavy, so it flew away in a flash.
Uncle Jiu had no choice. After all, he was holding a human being in his hands, a mortal body. It would be bad if he hurt the person.
"roar!"
Before they landed, they saw a big lion rolling on the ground. Then it looked at the two people falling from the sky with a confused look on its face. The lion blinked its eyes and finally ran away cautiously.
"This is a lion, it looks like a bear."
Uncle Jiu muttered, and then looked into the distance, "Oh, why are the legs of that horse so long? Foreign horses are just different."
"… "
“That’s a giraffe.”
"That one should be a horse, and it has a nose."
"That's an elephant..."
"This thing is weird, I think it can be ridden."
Uncle Jiu kicked his feet and suddenly rode on the strange thing, and clapped his hands excitedly.
"drive!"
Looking at that thing carrying Uncle Jiu away in time, Ah Wei, who was left behind, was confused and said, "Uncle Feng, that's an ostrich, not a horse."
etc…
He looked at the lion sniffing behind him and couldn't help crying. "Uncle Feng, Uncle Feng, I haven't gotten on yet. I haven't gotten on the ostrich yet!"
Is he dead again
Uncle Jiu was a very approachable person, because he was careful and attentive. After a while, he rode his ostrich at lightning speed and kicked the lion over with one foot, scaring the lion so much that it ran away quickly.
The two men rode on ostriches and began their journey to look for zombies. The sun was shining brightly in the sky and Wei was sweating profusely. He looked very contented and ran so fast, patting the ostrich's butt. I couldn't help but become curious.
"Uncle Feng, aren't you hot?"
"Young man, this is because your cultivation level is not high enough. As the saying goes, a calm mind naturally cools down!"
Ah Wei looked at the several talismans stuck on Uncle Jiu's body with a very strange expression.
You old man, you are so bad!
ps: Four thousand four hundred words today.
You can go and watch the movie "African Monk", also starring Uncle Ying. It is about adventure in Africa, which is very interesting.
I heard that there is a young Stephen Chow in it, and Uncle Ying also invited Bruce Lee to possess his body, but he is not dead at this time, so I won’t write about this part.
It's quite funny. You can go and watch it. Many of the people in it are the original cast of "The Gods Must Be Crazy".