On Friday, April 1, 2022, Xie Guanze, who was about to enjoy the weekend vacation, stayed up again until midnight to practice immortality. When the alarm clock rang, he rubbed his eyes and looked out the window. He was surprised to see two overlapping moons hanging side by side in the sky.
Xie Guanze thought he was dazzled, so he blinked hard and looked again. There were still two moons overlapping slightly. The moonlight was hazy, covering the two egg yolks together, as if they were double-yolk eggs that had just broken their shells. Click to take a photo.
"Sleep! Supper! Sleep! Supper!"
Beside the bookshelf, his pet parrot Snow White is jumping up and down in the cage. Xie Guanze stood up and stretched, got up to add water to the parrot, then took out a bag of melon seeds under Snow White's expectant gaze, and gave it a...
The crown of feathers on Xue Bai's arrogant head stood up, and he jumped up and down on the crossbar and shouted: "Stinger! Drink cold water! Cheapskate! Drink cold water!"
"Bai Xue, it's time for you to lose weight." Xie Guanze smiled and poked King Snow White's puffy chest with his fingers. It was fluffy, smooth and soft to the touch.
"Bah! Cheapskate!"
Snow White is a great white cockatoo, with average language ability, but the loudest voice among parrots, comparable to a megaphone when yelling and cursing.
After Xie Guanze got a headache from being scolded, he took another melon seed and dismissed it, and went to take a bath by himself, cursing like a parrot.
Xie Guanze lived alone. The Xie family's parents think that they are dragons and phoenixes, and they must attract attention wherever they go. In order not to steal the limelight from the protagonist's son, they have already left the scene early and went to another world to enjoy the world of two happily.
However, there is only one person in an empty house, so it is inevitable to be lonely. Xie Guanze has a pet, and it is much more lively to have a parrot scolding. His house is the inheritance left by his parents. During the decoration, he has done sound insulation treatment, and he is not afraid of disturbing the neighbors.
Xie Guanze turned on his phone and posted the photo he just took in the "Love Money and Dedication Group".
The "Love Money and Dedication Group" is his college roommate group. He has not graduated for a year, but he still keeps in touch with his roommates.
Handsome Crowned Sky: [Look, double yolk eggs.jpg.]
Jun Shao: [Chang'e Moon Palace opens a branch, and the new store opens with a 10% discount! 10% off everything!]
Mengmeng Jian: [This is obviously the revival of the city's aura, a proper aura recovery, sir, I'm going to start cultivating immortals!]
The countdown to becoming a monk: [Bah, the fat man is pure YY, this is obviously the separation of Yutu and Jinchan. All animals have a hobby of occupying land, so it can be concluded that these two are male.]
Xie Guanze watched his roommate's mind wide open, closed the curtains, went to take a shower and came back, saw the news in the group quickly flashed, and pulled to the top to read the historical records.
Mengmeng Jian: [Bah, the bald head is talking nonsense, Yutu is definitely a little sister, a bunny girl. bunny girl picture.jpg.]
Countdown to become a monk: [Master is not bald, just lost hair, hair loss does not mean bald!]
Young Master Jun: [Hey, I'm going to collect the rent tomorrow, and I'm so tired of collecting more than a dozen apartments, so I'm going to sleep now.]
Mengmeng Sword: [... This evil capitalism!]
Countdown to becoming a monk: [... This damn capitalism is so damn tempting!]
Handsome Crown Sky: [Early to bed and early to rise for good skin, good night.jpg.]
Mengmeng Jian: [This evil little boy!]
Countdown to becoming a monk: [This wicked little boy is so damn tempting!]
Mengmeng Jian: [The bald man be honest, what do you want to do to the second child?]
Countdown to becoming a monk: [I want to do the kind of thing that was done to you, hehe...]
Mengmeng Jian: [...drinking a drink together can still be as ambiguous as you said, I admire, admire...]
... ... .
Xie Guanze smiled after watching his roommate's jokes, and waved to King Snow White: "Good night, Snow White."
"Stingy ghost!" Snow White cursed angrily, jumped around in the cage, turned his back to Xie Guanze to express his anger.
Xie Guanze turned off the lights, and gradually fell asleep to the sound of Snow White flapping his wings...
In his sleep, Xie Guanze seemed to hear King Snow White chanting and cursing again, the voice seemed to be very close at hand.
He didn't care too much, Snow White could open the door of the birdcage himself, but he was well-trained and had a high IQ, so he would sleep in the cage at night.
This night, Xie Guanze didn't sleep well/settled, for a while there were smiling faces of his parents, for a while it was Snow White's yelling, and for a while it was strange metal noises, as if a decoration team had come to the house.
When he woke up with sleepy eyes, he found that there was another person in the room.
Beside the bookcase, a man with his back turned to him was stomping on something, making unpleasant noises.
This naked man has a head of striking white hair, made into an exaggerated hairstyle of 18th-tier cities, and the height of the hairstyle successfully made him grow a lot taller.
The most important thing is that this killer is not wearing any clothes yet!
"Who are you!" Seeing a strange naked man in his bedroom, Xie Guanze's first reaction was to call the police.
Thinking about it again, isn't he himself a policeman
Xie Guanze calmed down, and panicked when he saw the birdcage under Sha Matt's feet: "Where's my bird?!"
"Isn't your bird between your legs?"
Sha Matt was naked, and turned to walk the bird towards Xie Guanze. Xie Guanze covered his eyes, feeling like he was about to be blinded.
However, the other party has no shame, still holding a bag of melon seeds in his hand, deliberately eating the melon seeds while spitting out the melon seed shells all over the floor, with an arrogant attitude as if entering no one's land.
For some reason, Xie Guanze always felt that Sha Matt's movements and demeanor were inexplicably familiar.
Xie Guanze rumpled his messy hair just after getting up, groped and bent over to find the slippers by the bed, holding the slippers to bluff: "Brother, do you know what I do? Find out by yourself."
"Heh." Shamat sneered, sneering, spit out melon seeds, "A little policeman thinks you can do it."
What happened to the police
"What's your name?" Xie Guanze put up his airs angrily, and shouted fiercely, "Report your name, my subordinates are not limited to the unknown!"
Sha Matt continued to sneer, and with his exaggerated haircut, he spat out a bandit-like name: "Thank you, King."
Xie Guanze: "Thank you, Your Majesty?"
Kill Matt: "You're welcome."
Xie Guanze: ...... .
"Tell me your real name." Xie Guanze looked at Shamat's naked hot eyes, and threw his nightgown to him, "Put it on! Also, don't try to lie to me, I remember your face, I can check your ID card number."
"Snow White." Shamat squeezed out a sentence between his teeth, "Trash name!"
Xie Guanze: "Are you kidding me?"
Isn't that the name of his bird? !
"Xie Guanze, Xie Guanze!" The neighbor across the door rang the doorbell frantically, Xie Guanze looked at Shamat, told him to "put on your clothes", and went to open the door by himself.
As soon as the door was opened, the neighbor Fu Wentu rushed up, emotionally: "My dog has become a spirit!"
Xie Guanze: "Calm down and speak well."
Before Fu Wentu could speak, a naked man walked out of the open door, stood at the door and grinned at the two of them, then raised one leg and urinated toward the door.
Fu Wentu: "Sparta, get lost! How many times have I told you not to pee at the door!"
Naked man: "Wow! Master, I can't hold back!"
Xie Guanze:! ! !
"What's your naked man's name? Sparta? Your Alaska?"
"Yeah, I really want to know what happened last night, how did a good dog turn into a human!" Fu Wentu looked at the sky, "When I was a dog, I demolished the house. Even the refrigerator was not spared. When I woke up in the morning, I found that the door of the refrigerator had been removed. How can I live this day... "
Xie Guanze: ...
Xie Guanze didn't dare to imagine, if his bad-tempered parrot really turned out to be that Shamat, the days to come would be in dire straits.
Fu Wentu took off his shirt and wrapped Sparta's lower body: "Sparta is not allowed to urinate, if you dare to urinate, I will send you to the pet hospital and castrate you!"
"Wow woof...don't woof..."
Under the threat of changing his father-in-law, Sparta finally held back, and looked behind Xie Guanze aggrievedly: "Wow, Bai Xue, you have become a human too."
Xie Guanze turned his head with difficulty, saw his white-haired Shamate tie his clothes around his waist indiscriminately, met Xie Guanze's unbelievable eyes, and raised his chin haughtily: "Humph."
Xie Guanze: "Your Majesty?"
Blame him, when he saw King Snow White for the first time, he named him Snow White because his feathers were as white as snow, and the little ball was soft and cute. Later, when he gradually grew into a bird, his violent temper came up. The fierce Xie Guanze called him uncle every day.
Later, when Gongdou drama became popular, Bai Xue learned to speak from the TV series, and her mantra became "I know", "I'm tired", and Xie Guanze felt that the uncle was too rustic, so he changed it to King Snow White.
Now, King Snow White has become a human being, and he is still a vicious and violent killer. It is better to be called "King Xie" than "Xie Baixue".
"Hmph!" King Xie arrogantly used his nostrils to despise the stupid dog at the door, and said with the emperor's air of a palace fighting drama: "I'm hungry, let's pass on the meal."
Xie Guanze: ...
If he had known today, he must have watched the animal world more, at least there was a normal bird...
On a beautiful weekend morning, Xie Guanze was confused by the unexpected situation where the parrot mutated into a human.
Fu Wentu took Sparta back to the bathroom to get dressed, and Xie Guanze also looked at King Xie who had a headache and wrapped the clothes around his waist like an apron: "Why don't you dress well?"
King Xie said confidently, "No!"
Xie Guanze: ...
He took a deep breath, and could only wait for the big-name parrot to change clothes with the feeling of becoming a father overnight.
Xie Guanze: "Stretch out your hand."
King Xie stretched out his arms and asked Xie Guanze to put a coat on him, not forgetting his disgust: "The human body is so ugly, it's naked and hairless, my feathers are so beautiful."
Xie Guanze bent down and buried his head in buttoning him: "Then you change back."
"don't want."
Xie Guanze was buttoning down the button, King Xie curiously unbuttoned it, and when Xie Guanze finished buttoning the last button, he found that all the buttons on it had been undone.
Xie Guanze: ...
Take a deep breath, he's just a kid and can't hit.
How old is a five-year-old parrot equivalent to a human being? The average lifespan of a great white cockatoo is about 50 years, which is about the same as that of humans. A five-year-old parrot is a five-year-old child
Xie Guanze: All right, King Snow White is only five years old, bear with it!