"I want to learn to cook." Feeling humiliated, King Xie vowed to regain his dignity, "Especially in barbecue, this king is no worse than a stupid cat."
Xie Guanze quickly turned on the computer and searched for cooking videos: "Okay, let's take a look at the tutorial."
"Well, I like him." After browsing several tutorials but not satisfied, King Xie was finally attracted by a foreign chef.
"The human looked like a parrot, an angry parrot."
Xie Guanze looked at the chef's angry face and sharp words, and then looked at King Xie who was excited and raised his hair. At this moment, he felt the harmony of different races of humans and animals.
From this night, King Xie embarked on the road of no return for the magic chef of hell.
At first, due to the nature of birds afraid of fire, King Xie stood very far away when pouring the oil, saying that he was already cooked when the hot oil splashed on him.
Then one day when Xie Guanze came home from get off work, he saw King Xie holding a metal mask, which looked familiar no matter what.
Isn't this a welding mask? !
Xie Guanze felt bad, there was no electric welding near the community.
"Where did you steal it?"
"Steal? I didn't steal it, I gave the money." King Xie held a welding mask in one hand and a spatula in the other, stirring something in the oil pan, "I gave him all the RMB you left for me."
It sounds like an overlord's trade. The other party did not agree or even knew about it and was forcibly traded by King Xie.
Xie Guanze raised his forehead, well, there is one more thing to teach.
"Okay, my big meal is ready!" King Xie shouted excitedly, "Set the table quickly, the big meal I specially prepared for you is coming!"
Xie Guanze was also attracted by the word "big meal". After tidying up the dining table, he deliberately placed the Chinese rose flower arrangement picked by King Xie in the middle of the dining table, and then pulled out the chairs to wait for the big meal to be served.
"Dang Dang Dang Dang!"
King Xie held a white porcelain plate in each hand, and there were knives and forks on the plate, and walked to the table triumphantly.
Xie Guanze sat on the chair and stretched his neck to look into the porcelain plate: Is this posture Western food
expect!
When the white porcelain plate was placed on the table, Xie Guanze's expression collapsed.
"Look how good I am! Isn't it a surprise, isn't it a surprise!" King Xie sat opposite, with a knife in one hand and a fork in the other, eating skillfully.
Xie Guanze: ...
Can't boast at all, are you sure this is for me
The first big meal prepared by King Xie - fried cabbage worms.
King Xie obviously put a lot of effort into preparing this "big meal", which can be seen from the art of the plate. He arranged fried cabbage worms into half a heart, and thoughtfully spread thick chili noodles and pepper on the other half of the heart.
Xie Guanze: ...
Yet he still had no appetite.
"Where did you catch it?"
"Downstairs, there is a vegetable field circled by someone." King Xie was proud, "The old man also praised me for helping her catch insects, and I am a good bird!"
Xie Guanze: Hehe.
Xie Dawang took a bite of a deep-fried cabbage worm, eating it was crunchy and full of happiness: "I've researched it, human beings also have a feast of hundreds of insects, it just so happens that I also like eating insects, everyone is happy!"
Xie Guanze sat dryly, watching King Xie eat: "We don't fry caterpillars."
King Xie took the fried cabbage worms, dipped them in chili noodles and pepper, and boasted while inhaling: "It's delicious! It's cool! My craftsmanship is really better than that stinky cat!"
Xie Guanze: ...
In order for King Xie to experience the pain of being able to watch but not eat, Xie Guanze woke up early the next day and personally made a piece of caterpillar bread in the oven.
"Look, I like the taste of this bread, you like the name Caterpillar, everyone is happy!"
King Xie sneered: "It's better to let me eat oatmeal or red beans directly."
Xie Guanze broke open the bread, revealing the red bean stuffing inside: "Here is the red bean."
King Xie reluctantly took a look, broke open a piece of bread, quickly scooped out the red bean filling with a spoon and ate it all, then threw the rest of the bread away: "It's finished, the rest is yours."
Xie Guanze looked at the spread caterpillar bread, and sympathized with it very much.
I feel that the caterpillar bread was ravaged. It was cut open and died, which is too cruel.
Birds are really merciless when facing Zerg..
Xie Guanze spent a weekend working overtime, mainly to register the pet population in the urban area. And on Monday, Xie Guanze waited for a new notice that he needed to go to the countryside for a census and go to the surrounding suburbs to register one by one.
In 2022, all kinds of large pets in the city have formed the practice of applying for pet certificates. In addition to cats and dogs, they also include exotic species such as snapping turtles that will be affected by the local ecology, and rare protected parrots such as macaws. Tigers and leopards are birds of prey with great deterrence and lethality.
In densely populated cities, pet certificates can effectively protect pets from being taken over by animal protection associations after they are abandoned by their owners. At the same time, they can also protect humans and the environment and find the person in charge immediately after being harmed.
But in the countryside, most of the pets are free-range, and the owner is very careful to be vaccinated regularly. Most of them do not have a pet certificate, but this does not mean that pets in the country do not have human beings. This also increased Xie Guanze's workload, and they had to visit them one by one.
Xie Guanze can only be thankful that there are six districts in Tianxuan City, and he is only in charge of one district, which is still a normal land. I heard that there are a large number of aquatic pets in the cold water area near the river. After turning into humans, they go to the riverside to swim illegally every day, which makes the police station over there go to the riverside to arrest people every day, which is much more troublesome than their land pets.
"Xie, come in."
Just as the newly registered pet household registration was sorted out, Xie Guanze's leader, Hou Fanghua, called for a meeting in the conference room.
"Sit down." Hou Fanghua took a sip of chrysanthemum tea from his thermos, pinched his tired brows, "Now everyone knows about pets becoming spirits and humans? Now there are more and more conflicts, and we need to coordinate. Let us set up a special team to coordinate conflicts between people and pets."
"The team leader is me."
Hou Fanghua himself didn't expect that when he was about to retire, he would have a new task because of this unexpected situation.
"In order to understand the mentality of pet people, most of the human team members this time have pet avatars at home, and there are also pet doctor instructors from the police dog team. They have a formal training process and know more about pets. character and mentality."
Xie Guanze gave a thumbs up: "Advanced!"
Hou Fanghua smiled: "I heard that the superiors are still debating whether to open a pet school. After all, many rigid pets are still in the stage of ignorance of society. It’s limited, so it’s better to put them in schools for education.”
Xie Guanze nodded again and again: "That's a good idea, I want to send the one at home too."
King Xie is now obsessed with cooking, and the kitchen has become his private domain. He cares about kitchen utensils like he takes good care of his own bird's nest, which is polished and polished every day. I also learned to go shopping by myself and distinguish whether it is a greenhouse vegetable or a farm vegetable.
— What still can’t be changed is to look for vegetables with worms on purpose, and therefore, those farm vegetables grown in his own vegetable fields that have been eaten by worms are deeply loved by King Xie, which makes him feel satisfied with looking at wormholes to quench his thirst .
Hou Fanghua knocked on the table: "Now the main consideration is funding. After all, the state spends a large amount of money on education every year. Adding in the compulsory education of pet schools across the country, it is a sky-high price."
"However, the pet school has not yet been established. This is a matter of the future. The registration of pet household registration has been officially taken over by the Human-Pet Relationship Coordination Group, and today we will go to the countryside to do a pet census."
"Xie Guanze, Kong Qin, the two of you are in a team. Ding Man, Duan Ze, the two of you are in a team... You can bring your own pets, which will help the pets in the country to let go of their guard and facilitate work... .. .”
... ... .
With the encouragement of the leader, Xie Guanze left the conference room and called King Xie who was studying cooking at home.
"I'm going to the countryside on a business trip, do you want to come together?"
"Where are you going?"
"Suburbs, registered population."
"The suburban environment is good, the air is good, and there are many farm vegetable fields..." Xie Guanze felt a little guilty, and he planned to send King Xie to school after the pet school was established. I haven't told King Xie yet, let's take him out for a walk first.
King Xie was excited: "Go!"
There are too many plants in the city and insects are too rare, but there must be many in the countryside!
... ... .
Kong Jue, the guppy in Kong Qin’s family, did not come. It is said that he prefers to be in the water. Kong Qin specially bought him a big bathtub, soaked in the bathtub, watched TV and played games, and became an otaku in the new era.
Xie Guanze suddenly felt very disillusioned when he thought about the merman on TV.
In the new era, even mermaids have become otakus.
When they arrived at Xie Guanze, the three of them took the bus to the nearest suburb, then found the village committee to lead the way, and went door-to-door to register with homes with pet avatars.
When the village chief heard that he was sent by the higher authorities, he was glad that he was finally rescued.
"You said what's wrong with God, it changed overnight. My son's wolf dog, Nima, is a wolf! After turning into a human, he howled all night, and all the wolves in the mountain howled. I shared all the meat in my son's refrigerator with the same kind of dinner, and now my son is too scared to go home at night... "
"Wolf... ... "
Xie Guanze and Kong Qin looked at each other, and raised wolves like wolf dogs. This luck is absolutely gone.
"Your son is lucky..."
The village chief spat: "It's not that my brother, who was a forest ranger on the mountain, accidentally rescued the little wolf cub, and gave it to him as a wolf dog."
"Did you hurt anyone?" Kong Qin had already taken out his mobile phone and was ready to call the police for help when he was talking.
The village head said: "That's not true, Nini still recognizes people."
While the village chief was speaking, he had brought the three of them to the door of his son's new house, and went up to knock on the door.
"Is anyone here?"
"No one." The female voice inside replied.
Xie Guanze: ...
The village head knocked on the door angrily: "Nini, open the door!"
Nini, the wolf lady inside, finally came out to open the door, and when she saw Xie Guanze and the others, she laughed and explained, "I'm not human."
Xie Guanze checked it deliberately, the room was empty, but there were no other wolves.
Nini saw his gaze: "They only come at night, and they will be frightened by humans during the day."
The village elder was about to cry: we humans are scared by your wolves, okay? ! His son was too scared to go home at night!
Xie Guanze showed his ID: "That's it, Ms. Nini, we are from the Human Pet Relations Coordination Team of the police station. We are mainly here to register your household registration, and you will have your own name and identity in the future..."
"It's a strange bird, it tastes like I've never tasted it before..." Miss Wolf didn't hear what Xie Guanze said clearly, she stared at King Xie with green eyes, "It just so happened that I ate the master's meat. Your meat will make up for the master."
King Xie screamed vigilantly, and quickly turned into a bird and flew away.
Miss Wolf touched the saliva from the corner of her mouth regretfully: "It's a pity, the meat is gone."
Xie Guanze: ...... .
When I saw the forest ranger, I found out that raising wolves was nothing, and they raised bears directly in the mountains.
The huge Mr. Xiong was unexpectedly simple. When he found him, he was sitting at the table eating Wowotou. There was a stack of peanuts and a bottle of Erguotou on the table.
Xie Guanze: ...
This temperament, Northeast bear, right
"Do you want to eat steamed buns?" Seeing that the village chief recognized them, Mr. Xiong enthusiastically handed over the bamboo basket containing the steamed buns without much defense against them.
"No, thank you." Xie Guanze thought for a while, and it was necessary to reciprocate, he took out King Xie's snacks, "Eating melon seeds?"
King Xie looked over sharply: That's mine!
"Go back and buy it for you."
Mr. Xiong curiously picked up the melon seeds, poured them into his mouth and started to chew.
Xie Guanze: ...
"Shabi." King Xie grabbed a melon seed with contempt, and arrogantly licked the melon seeds and spat out the shell, "It's like this."
"Oh." Mr. Xiong slowly re-learned eating melon seeds, and took a long look at King Xie, "Actually, I quite like eating birds."
King Xie shut up with an aggrieved face, and hid behind Xie Guanze.
Xie Guanze: ...
Today's King Xie has had enough of being frightened.
King Xie: Human beings are too scary, and these horrible animals are kept as pets...