Su Xingchen walked out of the door of the consultation room, looked up at the sky that had unknowingly lit up with stars, the tears in his eyes once again had the urge to surge up.
Fortunately, I had already cried once in front of Dr. Fang just now, and this time I closed my eyes and endured it.
Su Xingchen has always been a positive and optimistic person.
He had a zest for life before the passing of his only loved one.
Until the day his father left, he was full of energy, like a deflated balloon, and his condition became worse day by day.
The coursework of the university has also been affected, and I have no intention of studying.
At first, Su Xingchen thought it was because the time was too short and he hadn't come out yet. It was only later that he realized that this feeling of being unable to face life is called depression.
The only difference from ordinary depression is that after Su Xingchen knew that he was sick, he actively cooperated with the doctor's treatment, trying to make himself better.
For this reason, Su Xingchen also deliberately registered many social platforms, trying to chat with friends on the Internet, or broadcast live learning, cooking, and show off his talents.
but…
Half a year passed in a flash.
Su Xingchen still couldn't find the motivation to persevere in this empty city.
Today was the last time he came to the consulting room to seek Dr. Fang's explanation, because he had decided to temporarily suspend school and return to his father's hometown to recuperate for a while.
The reason why I cried quite emotionally today is because Su Xingchen felt a little uncomfortable thinking that he could only communicate with Dr. Fang via video or phone in the future.
"You see, in the face of familiar and trusted people, you will gradually develop a sense of dependence, which will create a bond. As long as the bond is deep enough, it will not make you feel that there is no meaning for you to stay in this world." Just in Just now, Doctor Fang tried to suggest Su Xingchen for the first time: "Actually, if you don't reject it, you can find someone to put your feelings on..."
It can be heard that Doctor Fang is not so sure, let Su Xingchen in this state throw himself into the relationship.
After all, in today's society, married couples can divorce in minutes, let alone a romantic relationship.
If Su Xingchen really fell in love for the sake of recovery, wouldn't it cause double harm if the other party broke up with him
So Dr. Fang finally said: "Or find something to put your feelings on, or an environment, it doesn't matter."
Su Xingchen tried everything, but it didn't work.
Later, he thought that his father had a house in his hometown, and after his father passed away, it became an inheritance and left it to himself.
Speaking of this house in my hometown, there is also a nagging story.
That's what Su Xingchen heard from his father when he was a child. He said that the house in their hometown was a place that his grandfather specially asked a Feng Shui master to look at in the 1970s.
After all, Su Xingchen was still young at the time, and he was confused by what he heard. There is no need to buy furniture in the house. Opening the door means the wealth of other people's homes, which can be shared by oneself.
But the things inside can only be used inside, and cannot be taken out to sell.
Looking back now, Su Xingchen just thought that his father said some rural gossip and used it to fool himself when he was a child, so he didn't care.
He wanted to go back to his hometown, firstly to leave this empty city, and secondly because his father had lived in his hometown for several years before his death, so it was just a memory.
After making this decision, Su Xingchen quickly went through the procedures for suspending school.
Then there is the vacant house here, the 50-square-meter fourth-ring house, which was a community house bought by his father when he was alive.
If it is rented out, more than 10,000 yuan can be collected in rent every month.
In this way, I have a source of livelihood in my hometown, and I can save a lot of money.
Su Xingchen thought about this, and his face, which had been frowning tightly for the past few days, unconsciously revealed a rare lightness.
After packing up his luggage, Su Xingchen seemed to have something to look forward to, and he seemed much happier than before when he had no goals.
…
In order to return to his hometown early, Su Xingchen booked a high-speed rail ticket for the next morning.
On the high-speed rail, he opened a video platform that he hadn't been on for a while, and found that several netizens asked him about his recent situation under the cooking video he had recorded before.
And the rest are commenting on his cooking hands.
"..." This is something that makes Su Xingchen quite puzzled, because no one cares about the dishes in the videos of his cooking, and almost everyone is commenting on his hands, so his face must be so.
Su Xingchen, who is introverted and doesn't like to show off, picks out the few messages asking about the current situation and replies one by one.
Then he turned on the camera, pointed at his face wearing a mask, and slowly pulled off the mask. He said in a low voice but clearly: "It is now, at 6:00 Beijing time, I boarded the high-speed train back to my hometown. After more than four hours, I arrived at the finish line... Fortunately, I am a little excited today, although I am a little confused and a little worried. Can I live my own life in my hometown? I think... I can, I will definitely Get well, come on."
After speaking, like saving a diary, Su Xingchen clicked publish.
Then follow Dr. Fang's advice, try to think less about things, and let yourself sleep more.
Because whenever Su Xingchen thinks about things, he will involuntarily fall into panic about the situation, for example, he feels lonely, and there is no place called home in the world.
Feeling lonely, no one will remember those memories between parents and children except myself.
In other words, no one in this world will remember the scenes of how Su Xingchen came to the world from birth.
Without paying attention, Su Xingchen found tears welling up in the corner of his eyes again.
"dad… "
Su Xingchen hugged his backpack, sneaked away from people and cried for a while, and then relaxed. He leaned on the chair and fell asleep for more than an hour, and was finally awakened by a burst of urination.
He got up and went to the bathroom, and then kept looking at the scenery outside the window until he arrived at the stop.
It's Mayday, one of the most comfortable months of the year in southern cities.
Su Xingchen got off the bus at the city's North Railway Station, and had to take a long-distance bus back to a remote town in the countryside.
In addition to the time spent in various transfers in the middle, when he returned to the village in a small bread, the sky was already slightly dark.
Su Xingchen, who just got out of the car, looked at a completely unfamiliar place and felt his feet were a little weak.
In the end, the uncle who drove him back couldn't see it, and said, "Where is your door? Uncle will help you send your luggage there."
In the car just now, the uncle driver took Su Xingchen to chat with each other. He knew that this handsome boy was a native of the village and his family had a house here.
The uncle driver is also a local, his name is Wang Hanxiong, and he lives in the second floor of the self-built small apartment in a very new condition at the head of the village.
In fact, Su Xingchen's luggage is not too much, only a backpack and a suitcase, and he heard his father said that he can't take people home, so he shook his head, pulled off the mask on his face and thanked him: "No need, uncle, I You can walk over by yourself."
At this time, Su Xingchen didn't know that it would take him another hour to walk on two legs from the village to his house.
During this period, he experienced all kinds of black lights and blind fires, the gust of wind in the mountains, and the sound of birds and animals in the forest, which made Su Xingchen, who was less than twenty years old, want to retreat.
But he is not reconciled, he has worked hard all day to come here, and there is no room for retreat, right
So he settled down and walked on the weedy path with the light of the mobile phone flashlight.
In order to embolden himself, Su Xingchen awkwardly sang the March of the Volunteers with a tone-deaf sound.
When he sang for the fifth time, the path paved with cement finally came to an end.
Fortunately, a big house that looked good stood darkly in front of Su Xingchen.
There are two floors in total, with a large yard.
Su Xingchen panted and looked at the house in front of him, recalling his embarrassment just now, while feeling a faint sense of accomplishment in his heart.
He smiled and thought to himself, the decision to change the environment was not wrong, and it was considered a victory in the first battle.
Then I found a bunch of keys in my backpack and opened the copper lock on the courtyard door, but found that the door was heavy and it was a bit difficult to push it.
After Su Xingchen entered, he carefully locked the courtyard door to prevent wild animals from entering.
To be honest, in the mountains where you can't see your fingers, if you come to such a deserted place alone, no matter who you are, you will be afraid.
As for Su Xingchen, it was probably because he was not even afraid of death, so after finding the house, he did not hesitate at all, and took this place as his destination.
yay...
He opened the second heavy door, and it was unsurprisingly dark inside.
But fortunately, there is no serious peculiar smell coming, just a little musty smell caused by long-term lack of ventilation.
Su Xingchen vaguely saw the shadows of some furniture through the light of the flashlight of the mobile phone, but he didn't look much, and directly looked for the switch on the wall near the door.
"Huh?" But after touching it, he began to wonder, would there be electricity in this barren mountain
Sure enough, there were no light switches on the walls at all.
But Su Xingchen didn't care, he followed his father's narration, carried the suitcase directly to the second floor, and found that there was indeed a door at the entrance of the second floor.
This time Su Xingchen took a deep breath, and opened it tremblingly.
First of all, there is no musty smell coming from inside at all, but a faint smell of air freshener.
Su Xingchen suppressed his doubts, stretched out his hand to press a switch by the wall, and saw a small light lit up in the entrance.
What he saw next left Su Xingchen dumbfounded, so surprised that he couldn't recover...
What exactly did Su Xingchen see
He saw a stylish, beautiful and luxuriously decorated suite, which is supposed to only appear in first- and second-tier cities, and he couldn't believe it was real.
In order to prove that he was not hallucinating, Su Xingchen immediately opened the exquisitely crafted shoe cabinet next to him, and saw rows and rows of brand new leather shoes, sneakers, and other shoes, but all of them were men's models without exception.
"..." Su Xingchen took out a pair of leather shoes in a trance, turned over the soles, and there was a size 43 written on it, which was not suitable for him who was a size 40.
But slippers can be worn, he took out a pair of slippers, bent down to take off the original sneakers and put them in the shoe cabinet.
Then he closed the door, dragged the suitcase into the incredibly luxurious living room, and sat down on the sofa with a thoughtful expression.
I just feel that the sofa under the buttocks is easy to play. No matter how you say it, it doesn't look like it has been placed here for more than ten years and no one has cleaned it up...
"..." Su Xingchen, who was stimulated, rubbed his stupid face, and finally believed in the crazy things his father said to him, and it turned out that everything was true.
There really is such an incredible amount of spatial overlap in this world.