Love.
The moment the word came out of Lin Chengbu's mouth, Yuan Wu froze in place.
Lin Chengbu didn't speak anymore, took out a cigarette from his pocket, took it in his mouth and found that they were standing in front of the no-smoking sign, so he put the cigarette back in his pocket.
After two seconds, I touched it again and put it back again.
After repeating it four times, he scolded in a slightly disturbed whisper, dragged Yuan Wu's arm down the fire escape to the first floor, exited the side door of the mall, and lit a cigarette.
"Do you want it?" he asked Yuan Wu.
Yuan Wu didn't speak, just stretched out his hand, Lin Chengbu put the cigarette case in his hand, Yuan Wu took out a cigarette, and sat on the railing of the flower bed next to him, looking over Lin Chengbu and looking behind him street.
Love.
This is a very unfamiliar word.
Yuan Wu didn't know how long it had been since he wrote and read this word. Maybe he saw it, but he wouldn't stay in his eyes, and he wouldn't have any impression of it alone when it appeared with other words.
Apart from being an unfamiliar word, it is also an even stranger emotion.
From childhood to adulthood, Yuan Wu was confused about its definition.
I love my father, I love my mother, I love my grandparents, I love my brothers and sisters... These contents that are repeated mechanically by books and teachers, to Yuan Wu, are as illusory as my love for sex.
Now Lin Chengbu suddenly said, I want you to love me.
This sentence was not as serious as Lin Chengbu thought, because Yuan Wu had almost no way of grasping what kind of feeling it was.
I like Lin Chengbu.
He can be sure of this. He doesn't hate him or bother him. Many times he thinks that Lin Chengbu is very interesting, handsome, in good shape, and delicious to cook.
To be able to notice so many advantages of a person is to like it.
For people he doesn't like, he can't remember his appearance after seeing them seven or eight times in a row, let alone others.
However, Lin Chengbu was talking about love.
This made him suddenly a little confused.
His awareness of various positive emotions is far inferior to that of negative emotions, anger, irritability, disgust, fear, fear, disappointment, despair... He has experienced each of them until he is numb.
But Lin Chengbu was talking about love.
He looked at Lin Chengbu's face.
With his back to the light, he looked a little haggard because he was depressed.
Or maybe it's not just because he's in a low mood right now, it's been less than three days since he finished his meal in Chunzhi that day, but Lin Chengbu was so haggard.
He was even more haggard than when he saw him on the boat before. At that time, Lin Chengbu, who was working hard and was worried, was not as tired as he is now. In just two days, his face was full of exhaustion.
Of course, this person's feelings for him are not just so shallow.
Just giving like a shadow over the years has already exceeded the scope of what you like to do.
this is Love-
Yuan Wu shook his head and threw the alpaca that was screaming by his neck out of his mind.
"Yuan Wu," Lin Chengbu called to him, "I have supplementary instructions, do you want to listen?"
"Ah, let's talk," Yuan Wu raised his head and suddenly felt that Lin Chengbu, who was standing in front of him against the light, was very tall, with golden light all over his body. A little bit, it looks great."
Lin Chengbu squatted down in front of him, smoking a cigarette: "Is this okay?"
"Yeah." Yuan Wu nodded.
"Everything I've done for you is because I like you, I... what, you," Lin Chengbu said a little embarrassedly, but didn't stutter too much, "I'm willing to do this for you because I'm right Your feelings are here, but I said what I want is you... love me, this is a bit nauseous... I just said it..."
Yuan Wu looked at him and said nothing.
"What should I say, let's think about it," Lin Chengbu took a heavy puff of cigarette, frowned for a while, and looked at him, "The things I did for you are because I love you, but I want to You love me, not because I do that so you should love me, I only say this because love is expected to be answered, and what I say... is only what I want."
Yuan Wu still looked at him.
"I don't understand it, I don't seem to understand it myself," Lin Chengbu choked off the cigarette, "Let's put it this way, I do those things for you because I love you, I hope you love me, and it's just that Because I love you no matter what I do."
"I know." Yuan Wu said.
Lin Chengbu let out a sigh of relief: "I have never said so much in my life that I love you and me."
"I haven't heard so much." Yuan Wu said.
Lin Chengbu's words were a little confusing, but he could still hear it clearly. He was a little unfamiliar with emotions, but his logic was not lacking.
Lin Chengbu's state, he seems to be able to vaguely understand part of it.
The part about wanting to be loved.
He had experienced it.
Probably yes, it has been too long, and these memories have already disappeared little by little in the deepest part of his body.
He hopes to receive care and attention like Yuan Shen, to be loved, and to receive even the slightest love from relatives that others have.
Pretty much, that kind of feeling.
But he didn't get it in the end either.
Since when? Gradually get used to it, and slowly no longer look forward to it
How long have you been waiting and disappointed
Finally don't hold on to this hope anymore
Can not remember.
Yuan Wu looked at Lin Chengbu.
Family and love are different.
But hope is the same as waiting.
Lin Chengbu has waited so long, how long can he wait
In his state of being at a loss, how could he give the love that Lin Chengbu wanted
He doesn't even have a concept of family love, so what can he talk about love
Everyone's love is different, Lin Chengbu's love is like this, Jiang Chengyu's love is like that, Daqi made a girlfriend a while ago, and the little girl's love is to hand him a picture every day Facial mask…
Everyone's love is different, there is no sample to refer to, there is no example to imitate, different people have different reactions to love.
What about your own
What is it like
This kind of chaotic and seemingly endless thinking makes Yuan Wu panic every time, panicking about his different and irreparable flaws.
The end result is often irritability.
like now.
"How long?" Yuan Wu asked.
"What?" Lin Chengbu kept squatting in front of him in a daze.
"How long until the movie starts." Yuan Wu said.
Lin Chengbu looked at his watch: "There is still more than an hour."
"Oh." Yuan Wu threw away the cigarette butt that had already been extinguished in his hand, and lit another cigarette.
"Are you going to play an electric car?" Lin Chengbu said, "Are you cold here?"
"It's not cold," Yuan Wu took a cigarette, "If you're cold, go in first, and I'll go in after I finish."
"I'm not cold," Lin Chengbu got up and sat on the railing next to him, turning his head to look at him, "Actually, if you don't want to watch a movie, we won't watch it."
"I don't... don't want to watch it." Yuan Wu looked at him with a cigarette in his mouth.
"Well, then watch," Lin Chengbu smiled, "you didn't like watching movies before, I thought you still didn't want to watch them."
Yuan Wu made no sound.
Suddenly, I felt a little sorry for Lin Chengbu.
What he should have thought, Lin Chengbu can remember everything about him, the taste of eating, and he can definitely remember if he doesn't like watching movies.
He didn't know why he wanted Larin Chengbu to watch this ghost movie.
Maybe seeing the loss in Lin Chengbu's eyes, he was afraid that Lin Chengbu would be disappointed, he didn't want to let Lin Chengbu down, just like he was constantly disappointed back then.
But it was a bit bad, and Lin Chengbu might be even more disappointed.
The two of them sat in the North Wind for two cigarettes, and then spent almost the opening of the movie in the video game city on the second floor.
Lin Chengbu bought the ticket with a package, and gave him a bucket of popcorn and two bottles of drinks.
Holding these things, the two of them walked slowly to the cinema with the crowd, surrounded by young couples holding popcorn.
That's it, fall in love, watch a movie, eat popcorn in the dark, talk in a low voice, then go to dinner together after the movie, and then go home and roll in the sheets.
Yuan Wu frowned.
There is nothing wrong with the form, but there is a huge difference inside.
This may be the reason why Lin Chengbu was disappointed.
"Didn't we watch a horror movie?" Yuan Wu looked at the young couple beside him, "Isn't it a love movie?"
"It's terrifying," Lin Chengbu squeezed a piece of popcorn, "but horror movies are used to fall in love, especially in the early and ambiguous stages of love."
"...Oh." Yuan Wu said.
"If you're afraid for a while," Lin Chengbu opened his arms, "you can come here and lie down for a while."
Yuan Wu glanced at him: "You can sit on my lap."
Lin Chengbu laughed for a while.
But picking this horror movie to fall in love is a bit of a misstep.
A domestic horror film that cannot be refined and cannot have real ghosts, if you want to scare yourself into the arms of the people around you, it is estimated that you must first make the other party feel that you have a problem with your IQ.
Lin Chengbu and Yuan Wu ate and drank the whole time, and they laughed a few times along the way.
The young couple in the back couldn't take the opportunity to fall in love, and kept complaining in a low voice until the end of the whole film.
After the lights came on, Yuan Wu looked around: "Did you see it, it was so scary, and it was so scary that only half of the people were left."
"Yuan Darian." Lin Chengbu gave a thumbs up.
"Lin Darren." Yuan Wu also gave him a thumbs up.
The end time is afternoon tea. If it was before, Lin Chengbu would definitely try to pull Yuan Wu to forcibly eat something, or drink milk tea, and delay it until dinner time, so that he can eat naturally.
But today he suddenly lost the interest in making excuses.
In the past, I could pretend to use an ambiguous beauty to fool myself, but now that even the balance on the surface has been broken, no matter what I do, it will become deliberate and awkward.
"Do you want to eat, drink, or go shopping?" Lin Chengbu asked Yuan Wu.
Yuan Wu pulled the mask up and seemed to be thinking, but after a while he shook his head gently: "Do you want to drink milk tea? Uncle please."
"I don't want to," Lin Chengbu said. He didn't want to drink milk tea all the time, but in the past, as long as Yuan Wu asked, he would definitely say so. This was the first time he told the truth when he didn't want to drink it. "I just ate too much popcorn, and I finished all the drinks, and it's swelled up again..."
"Then go back." Yuan Wu glanced at him.
The car was parked downstairs at Yuan Wu's house. This was probably the earliest time Lin Chengbu and Yuan Wu came back from a "date".
"I'm going up." Yuan Wu sat in the car for a while and opened the door.
"Well," Lin Chengbu looked at him, and after thinking about it, he took his arm again, "Yuan Wu."
"What?" Yuan Wu closed the door.
"Do you have any ideas?" Lin Chengbu asked.
Yuan Wu looked at him, and after a while he said softly, "Not yet, it's a mess."
"Okay," Lin Chengbu smiled, "by the way, I'm going to work tomorrow, take a taxi to No. 18 at night."
"Yeah." Yuan Wu responded.
Lin Chengbu leaned over when he reached out to open the door, tore off his mask, and kissed the corner of his lips: "Don't eat instant noodles at night."
"...Understood." Yuan Wu patted his face and got out of the car.
Lin Chengbu didn't stay downstairs much, and after seeing Yuan Wu enter the building, he drove away.
There was nothing to do at home at the moment, and he didn't want to be alone, so the car turned a corner and drove in the direction of No. 18.
It's almost time for Jiang Chengyu to get up. He doesn't have anything to talk to Jiang Chengyu, but he wants to stay in a place where he has acquaintances and won't be particularly noticed.
18 is the best.
He parked the car next to Jiang Chengyu's car, and when he got out of the car, he found Jiang Chengyu's precious car front windshield a little shocking.
It is estimated that it was smashed by someone, and the dense cracks, large and small, spread all around, like a big morning glory in full bloom.
Originally, he thought that Jiang Chengyu and Chang Yu should be the type of fighting each other, but now, looking at this style, he felt that he made a mistake in judging whether the two were fighting like real enemies.
The bar wasn't open yet. Lin Chengbu entered the corridor from the back door and went directly to Jiang Chengyu's office. He planned to greet him and go to the bar to get some drinks.
As a result, as soon as I walked to the door of the office, I heard a bang, followed by the sound of various bottles and cups falling to the ground.
The hand he wanted to knock on the door stopped in the air.
Listening to this movement, it didn't seem like a fight, nor did it seem like there was a dispute... Lin Chengbu lightly walked down the corridor to the hall.
It's so wild, it's estimated that it's done on the coffee table.
Da Qi was wiping the cup at the bar, and seeing him coming, he was a little surprised: "Brother Lin, why did you come at this time?"
"There's nowhere to go," Lin Chengbu sat in front of the bar, "Let's make a drink."
"Okay," Da Qi smiled, "but don't mind me at my level, you drink his special tune every day."
"No," Lin Chengbu looked inside the bar, "Have some snacks?"
"Well, Brother Chengyu asked the cake house to send the snacks," Da Qi said and suddenly laughed, "but I can't get it to him at the moment, so I just put it here, do you want to eat?"
"Eat, let's eat together," Lin Chengbu took out the snack box, "Did Changyu come over?"
"Yes," Da Qi lowered his voice, "he came in with a baseball bat."
"Fuck," Lin Chengbu took a bite of the cake, "If they really go together at the end, it is estimated that they will fall in love in a wheelchair."
"I think so," Da Qi laughed for a long time, "you are more calm than Brother Xiaowu."
Is it.
Relatively quiet.
Lin Chengbu took the wine glass and sat behind the table in the corner.
Relatively quiet.
He smiled bitterly, and he didn't even want to think about what the ending would be if he stopped like this.
The wine made by Daqi also tasted pretty good. After Lin Chengbu slowly finished drinking it, he felt a little more comfortable in the place where he had been stuck in his heart.
He took out his mobile phone, opened the phone book, swiped his finger down and scrolled down, and finally stopped on a name. After hesitating for five minutes, the screen turned on and off for countless times, and then he clicked with his finger. , a little nervously listening to the dial tone.
After picking up the phone over there, he almost wanted to hang up again.
"Hello? Who is it? Hello?" asked several times over there.
"Hello, Dr. Liang," Lin Chengbu took a breath, "I'm Lin Chengbu, do you still remember me? Well, it's like this, I want to ask, my friend... It's Yuan Wu, he is now How is the situation? Is there basically no problem?"
It was getting colder and colder, Yuan Wu was sitting in the taxi, watching more and more people passing by outside, listening to the radio constantly reminding everyone to keep warm or something.
How was last winter
Yuan Wu can't remember a little, but I remember very clearly how this summer and autumn passed, full of Lin Chengbu.
However, Lin Chengbu has been a little sparse recently, and he has not picked him up when he is not at work several times, such as today.
Yuan Wu stared at the phone in a trance, unable to say what he felt.
After tasting it for a long time, I don't know if I have any feelings.
A little irritable.
On the 18th, there will be fewer people in winter, and many people will leave after his bartending.
Today, he couldn't leave immediately. Two little girls stopped him in the corridor and wanted to take a group photo. Yuan Wu hesitated and agreed, but he didn't agree to take off the mask.
After taking the photo, he quickly turned around and left. He didn't see Jiang Chengyu all night. When he passed by his office, the lights inside were also dark.
This guy has had a lot of fun lately.
Gee.
Just as he walked out the back door, Yuan Wu's cell phone rang.
He took it out and took a look. It was Lin Chengbu. He picked up the phone and glanced at the street subconsciously, but he didn't see Lin Chengbu's car.
"It's over?" Lin Chengbu's voice came from the receiver, the background sound was very quiet, it should not be on the street.
"Well, just came out," Yuan Wu looked at both sides, "I'm going to take a taxi back."
"That, is it cold?" Lin Chengbu asked.
"It's not cold, I just finished dancing." Yuan Wu smiled.
"Yuan Wu, there is something I want to tell you." Lin Chengbu said hesitantly.
"What's the matter?" Yuan Wu put down the hand that was blocking the car and retreated behind the billboard on the side of the road.
"That's right, Jiang Chengyu knows about this. Our boss told me last year that he wanted to send me to study..." Lin Chengbu said.
"Study? Studying cooking?" Yuan Wu was stunned.
"Well, her friend's hotel is very good, let me go and learn." Lin Chengbu said.
"That's good, why didn't you go then?" Yuan Wu asked.
"Didn't I have to keep an eye on you at that time," Lin Chengbu smiled, "I don't have time to go, I have more relaxed working hours here in Chunzhi."
"I'm calling you back now?" Yuan Wu asked.
"Yeah." Lin Chengbu responded.
"Come on, isn't it good to be able to learn something," Yuan Wu said, thinking about it and asking again, "Are you worried that you won't have time to drop me off? I'll just take a taxi."
"Oh," Lin Chengbu's voice was a little low, "then I'll... go the day after tomorrow."
"Well, it's pretty fast." Yuan Wu said.
"The proprietress is very active, she bought all the air tickets." Lin Chengbu said.
After Yuan Wu told him a few words, Lin Chengbu urged him to take a taxi back, saying that it was too cold to catch a cold.
After hanging up the phone, Yuan Wu stopped the car, and the moment he opened the door, he suddenly reacted.
Air tickets