I Just Want To Retire Quietly

Chapter 61: Confession (Part 1)

Views:

Liang Xianben had prepared himself mentally to live with Tan Yan and Xiaolu in a different world, but he didn't expect that this time "Kong Kong" had a change of heart and gave the exhausted people a chance to breathe. There was no movement for a full half month.

Taking advantage of this half month, Tan Yan made up for his cultural knowledge. He made up for it not only in class, but also during breaks and even during the interest group classes.

Because there were exams for two major courses coming up soon, Liang Xian highlighted the key points for Tan Yan and asked him to study them in a targeted and cramming manner.

So Tu Zishi and the other two witnessed with their own eyes that Comrade Tan Yan, who was calm and composed in the face of countless tentacles in the other world, would study with a pale face every day subjects that seemed to them to be simple as could not be simpler. Every look in his eyes could make people feel the fragility of human beings.

Later, Cui Heyu told them that Tan Yan was specially recruited because of his outstanding performance in the other world, and his performance in theoretical courses was average.

Tu Zishi and the other two couldn't help but sigh, no one is perfect.

By cramming, Tan Yan actually passed two subjects with ease. This was the first time he passed the exam based on his own ability. He was so happy that he wanted to treat Liang Xian, who sacrificed his time to help him with his studies, to a meal, and they went out to eat alone.

Liang Xian, who had been thinking about how to make Tan Yan gay every day, blushed and agreed.

The night before dinner, Liang Xian kept throwing a coin in the dormitory.

"What kind of training are you doing?" After Cui Heyu was allowed to use the computer, he withdrew his consciousness from the computer and saw Liang Xian muttering and tossing coins.

Liang Xian rolled his eyes at him and didn't answer.

The two had been at odds for a long time, and Cui Heyu didn't bother to argue with him. After all, in Liang Xian's eyes, ignoring him was already the highest level of treatment.

Cui Heyu was half chatting with Liang Xian and half talking to himself: "I envy you for being able to enter the 'void', but I am also glad that I didn't experience that world myself. Professor Qiao played the video for me, it was so miserable."

He tried to imagine how he would perform in the parasitic world, and concluded that he would not be much better than the three newcomers.

Cui Heyu's ability is not suitable for "empty" at first, and the real world is more conducive to his use. If he goes to the parasitic world, he will be a burden.

"Everyone is working very hard. Dali has been eating grilled squid for half a month. Assistant Professor Chai is even more ruthless. I heard that he asked the research team to get him a bunch of earthworms and put them in a jar. He put his hand in the jar every day to feel the feeling. He also said that he would try to soak his whole body in it in the future to overcome his psychological trauma..." Cui Heyu couldn't stand it anymore and shuddered.

Tu Zishi followed Qiao Zhixue's advice and practiced guessing cards with playing cards. Qiao Zhixue believed that the ability to predict is the reception and reanalysis of information from the objective world by brain waves. Predicting what will happen hundreds of years later is basically metaphysics and should not be possible at present. But for recent things, such as when and where the next "void" will appear, I believe that after training, Tu Zishi will be able to do it sooner or later.

Feng Wu and Hai Liren failed to awaken their special powers. On the surface, they still looked cheerful, but they were actually very anxious inside. They heard that the near-death state might stimulate awakening, and they wanted to jump off the building every day. Fortunately, the minister discovered their mental state in time and found someone to counsel them, thus avoiding the first college student suicide tragedy in the history of the Central Military Academy.

Qiu Qi is trying to understand his own strength, and strive to achieve long-distance linkage next time, without holding hands, which is too inefficient. For this reason, he turned down Ke Hao's invitation to a party at the end of the month. Reality does not allow him to have fun with his classmates. Most importantly, he hopes that he can be strong enough to support Tan Yan as soon as possible. Yan Yongfeng forces himself to watch cartoons every day. It is said that cartoons are now just comics that he turns pages slowly, which really loses a lot of fun.

"Everyone is working hard in his own way. What are you doing? Playing with coins?" Cui Heyu was anxious. He was afraid that he would fall too far behind everyone else if he couldn't enter the "void", so he couldn't help but stimulate Liang Xian to relieve the pressure.

Liang Xian glanced at him coldly and said, "I'm thinking about life."

Cui Heyu: “…”

What does playing with coins have to do with thinking about life

In fact, Liang Xian really did not lie to Cui Heyu this time. He was indeed trying to make an important decision—whether to confess his feelings during dinner tomorrow.

Tan Yan's slowness made Liang Xian a little anxious. Sometimes he would take the opportunity to pounce on Tan Yan and bite his face, but he would still be rubbed on the head lovingly by Tan Yan.

The expression of looking at his grandson made Liang Xian despair. Even if Tan Yan was disgusted and disgusted by his intimate behavior, Liang Xian would not think that his future was hopeless. After all, Tan Yan had developed a sexual orientation awareness due to his behavior.

But now, Tan Yan's feelings for him are basically a generation apart. Every time Tan Yan looks at him with a smile of encouragement, Liang Xian has the illusion that he is wearing a red scarf on his chest...

What's the point of boiling a frog in warm water? Given Tan Yan's ability to withstand high temperatures, even if the frog is boiled for a hundred years, it won't feel anything.

A man as straightforward as him can only accept straight balls.

Since there is a chance for the two of you to be alone together, you might as well express your feelings directly. Even if the result of your confession is distance, at least you have conveyed your feelings.

but…

Liang Xian was still a little bit timid, he was not worthy of Tan Yan in any aspect. He could only toss a coin when no one was around (Cui Heyu who entered the computer was not counted as a person), if it was a flower, he would confess, and the number would continue to influence him subtly.

The first time it was a number, Liang Xian decided to win two out of three games; the second time it was a number, Liang Xian decided to win three out of five games; the third time it was a number, Liang Xian decided to win four out of seven games; the fourth and fifth times...

By the tenth time, Liang Xian decided to confess his love just by throwing the flower once.

However, it has been thrown 50 times now, and it is still a number, as if God is telling Liang Xian that your confession is doomed to fail, and it is better not to say anything. At least Tan Yan can still treat him as a junior.

Cui Heyu lay on the side and watched for a while. Seeing that Liang Xian threw out numbers every time, he couldn't help but ask: "Are you practicing using your consciousness to control which side of the coin is facing up? I've seen you throw it more than 30 times, and all of them are numbers. Are you doing it on purpose?"

It's even more sad because it wasn't intentional! It's so sad that it happened by coincidence!

Liang Xian finally glanced at Cui Heyu, pursed his lips and said, "No, I want to throw out the flowers."

"Why did you throw the flowers?" Cui Heyu asked, "Can't you make a decision yourself if you have a fear of making choices?"

"That's about right." Liang Xian threw it again, still a number.

Cui Heyu's face twitched when he saw the pattern on the coin. He said, "In your case, either your subconscious mind is playing tricks on you, and you are afraid of the choice you want to make, and you are inadvertently controlling the direction of the coin, or you are just unlucky. But seeing that you keep throwing it like this, it seems that you still want to choose the flower side. Since you want to spend the flower side anyway, why are you throwing it? The answer has already come out.

I remember someone once said that if you can't make a choice, just flip a coin. When you flip it once and want to flip it a second time, you know which one you want to choose. "

Only when you are unwilling to give up will you hope to get the result you want.

Liang Xian stopped what he was doing. Although he didn't like Cui Heyu, what he said was right.

Why did he keep throwing coins? Because he wanted to express his feelings. The feelings of young people are passionate and it is difficult to hide them in their hearts. He relied on the coins just to give himself courage.

Liang Xian slapped the flower side up on the table. If God didn't give him a choice, he would decide his own fate. If he continued like this, his first love would definitely end in vain. He had to express his feelings.

After taking the coin, he said to Cui Heyu, "Thank you."

It was a bit awkward, but Cui Heyu did give useful suggestions after all, so he should thank them. Tan Yan liked good children who were frank and polite.

“I don’t know what you want to do, but judging from the result of this tragic coin toss, I don’t think you can do it.” Cui Heyu said.

Liang Xian: “…”

Taking back his thanks, he still hated Choi and Yu.

Although it was Tan Yan who invited them to dinner, he was not familiar with City B, so the task of booking the restaurant was given to Liang Xian.

Liang Xian was very proactive. He searched the Internet for the most famous couples' spot near the Central Military Academy, chose a quiet box, ordered flowers and violin music in advance, and secretly paid a deposit. How could he let his sweetheart pay for it

At six o'clock, the two walked out of the school side by side and entered the restaurant together.

The lights in the restaurant were dim and the tables were far apart, allowing couples to lean against each other and whisper. Tan Yan had good hearing and heard the customers chatting as soon as he entered the door. He blushed and shook his head, saying, "Young people nowadays can't even have a meal in peace."

Liang Xian: “…”

Although he felt a pain in his heart, he still told himself firmly that it was okay, being rejected was normal, and if he was accepted, he would be lucky.

After entering the private room, the waiter presented Tan Yan with a bouquet of bright red roses. Tan Yan said embarrassedly, "Why are you giving me flowers? I should be the one giving you flowers."

Is there anyone who gave the teacher red roses? Tan Yan's knowledge in this area is even worse than his academic performance.

Liang Xian could only smile stiffly: "I... this is not... originally... actually you are my teacher."

After holding it in for a long time, I still couldn't speak.

The waiter glanced at him with sympathy.

Liang Xian: “…”

This is a romantic French restaurant. Liang Xian ordered many famous French dishes. However, the plates in high-end restaurants are large, but the food is very small. Tan Yan doesn't know how to use a knife and fork, so he asked the waiter for chopsticks. After hearing that the restaurant does not provide chopsticks, he simply broke off two rose branches and used them as chopsticks.

Liang Xian: “…”

"No, no, no, you don't have to do it yourself, I'll help you cut it!" Liang Xian said.

"It's okay," Tan Yan said, "Eat quickly, we still have to go back to study later."

Liang Xian: “…”

It was a mistake for him to choose such a romantic restaurant. Tan Yan... Well, although Tan Yan had a good temper and didn't say anything, when the dishes came, Tan Yan's expression stiffened for a moment. Liang Xian understood this expression very well, it was saying that there were so few dishes and not enough to eat!

Military academy students like Liang Xian and Tan Yan consume a lot of physical energy every day, while the special ability team also consumes mental energy and has to train at night. For Tan Yan, this table of high-end French dishes may not be as affordable as a bag of instant noodles.

Sure enough, in less than five minutes, Tan Yan ate half of the dishes on the table with rose-shaped chopsticks, and left the rest to Liang Xian. Tan Yan touched his stomach and seemed not full, but he still said very considerately: "Is this enough for you? How about ordering more?"

In Tan Yan's mind, he was the one who treated the guests and paid the bill, so naturally he couldn't be stingy.

"No need," Liang Xian said dejectedly, "We won't be able to eat enough at this restaurant, otherwise we can go to the fast food restaurant next door to eat something."

"It's okay," Tan Yan said with a smile, "There were many times when I didn't have enough to eat before. Although these are a little less, they are all good things. I can see that. I just haven't eaten them before, so I'm not used to them."

He is simple and frugal, and does not have too many demands on life, but he does not point fingers at the lifestyle of young people today, and is able to accept all new things with tolerance. Strict with oneself and lenient with others, this is what Tan Yan is like.

How can you not like such a person

Liang Xian clenched his fork, his fingers trembling slightly as he asked, "Why... didn't you find one in all these years?"

"Didn't I tell you? She looks too young and doesn't go home every night. I can't give a girl a stable home and I don't want to waste her time." Tan Yan repeated what he said.

"But... won't you be lonely?"

"It will pass if you just bear with it." Tan Yan smiled simply.

Liang Xian felt very sad and distressed, feeling sorry for this man who was decades older than him.

He thought of everyone except his own feelings. Others should not be delayed or hurt, so he just had to endure it.

Liang Xian put down his chopsticks, feeling distressed and touched. Looking at Tan Yan's clean and sincere eyes, he felt that his blocked throat could now speak.

"I-I don't want you to be lonely."

"Of course I'm not lonely now," Tan Yan said, "I have you guys accompanying me. Seeing you guys getting stronger little by little, I feel very happy and not lonely at all."

"No, that's not what I meant. I mean... I want to spend the rest of my life with you." Liang Xian stood up and looked at Tan Yan affectionately.

"Do you want to buy a house together and become neighbors in the future?" Tan Yan thought carefully, "But the housing prices in City B are too expensive... I haven't calculated how much money the government gives me, is it enough to buy a house? I won't be able to get a loan when I retire..."

Liang Xian was almost going crazy, how could someone be so slow!

He almost yelled, "I mean, I like you!"

"Yeah, I like you too." Tan Yan stood up and rubbed Liang Xian's hair that was about to explode.

Liang Xian: "I like you like a lover. I want to live with you and spend the rest of my life with you."

Tan Yan finally realized what Liang Xian was talking about. He was stunned for a moment, and his expression gradually became serious. He looked at Liang Xian and asked, "When did you come up with this idea?"

It didn't seem like a confirmation of feelings, but rather the instructor was talking to the problematic recruits.

Liang Xian instinctively stood at attention and said, "Report, when I first entered the 'Void', I thought you were so handsome and I was attracted to you!"

Tan Yan: "Have you ever talked to a psychologist?"

Liang Xian gritted his teeth and continued, "Report, homosexuality is no longer considered a mental illness. You should read more information on this. This is a normal phenomenon, just like liking women!"

"No, your family is not poor, right?" Tan Yan's answer was still out of tune.

"What does liking you have to do with being rich or poor?" Liang Xian said madly.

"In the past, two bachelors who could not afford to marry would usually get together to live together. They were called sworn brothers and were very common in the countryside," explained Tan Yan.

"No, no, none of it!" Liang Xian hugged Tan Yan tightly and forced himself to kiss his lips.

He didn't dare to go too deep, but just touched him lightly, grabbed his shoulders, and said almost beggingly: "This is the feeling, you... I beg you to understand!"

This must be the most miserable confession in the world, and Tan Yan doesn't even realize it!

After being kissed, Tan Yan was a little dazed. He touched his lips and said after a long while: "Is that what you mean? What do you think?"

"Do I need a reason to like someone? You are so outstanding, and every aspect of you is worthy of my love!" Liang Xian also gave it his all. He saw clearly that if he didn't say it, Tan Yan would never understand. He wanted to express his feelings passionately and say everything in his heart!

"The question is, do you know my age? 58, 39 years older than you. In the old society when people got married early, I was old enough to be your grandfather. You... why?" Tan Yan had no idea.

"No reason, you attract me deeply." Liang Xian looked into Tan Yan's eyes and said seriously, "Whenever I think of you being alone, I feel uncomfortable. I want to be with you, even if it's only for one day or one hour."

Tan Yan hesitated and said, "You... want to take care of me until the end of my life?"

Liang Xian let go of Tan Yan and banged his head against the wall in despair. He wanted to die.

The author has something to say: Poor Liang Xian, it’s not just a matter of Tan Yan being disgusted with gay relationships, the two of you are simply not on the same wavelength!