"Let's go, let's go play together. I won't mind you being a light bulb." Mai Ding was eating the leftover watermelon in the refrigerator that day after recovering.
Bai Xiaosi flipped through the magazine boredly: "You called me here early in the morning just for this kind of crap, if you knew I would have slept at home."
"I'm just thanking you for helping me last time. A drop of water should be repaid by a spring. Shall we go to the amusement park or go swimming?"
"no."
"Don't refuse so quickly, give me some face in front of An Ziyan."
"My aunt is here."
"When will she come? Why, she is a good girl now, and she wants to accompany her aunt?" Mai Ding threw away the watermelon he had just eaten, and picked up another piece to continue eating.
Bai Xiaosi and An Ziyan gave Mai Ding a look at the same time: "Dirty."
"Why am I obscene? Why are you scolding me for no reason. What does your aunt look like? Is she a beauty like you?" Mai Ding was a little confused, wasn't he just talking about her aunt, why did he become obscene
"I don't know what it looks like, I only know that it is the same color as the food you eat."
"What are you talking about?" Mai Ding stared at the watermelon in his hand, her aunt likes to dress up as a watermelon? This non-answer conversation aroused Mai Ding's interest even more: "Then what does she do?"
"I don't know what it's doing, I just know it's flying down three thousand feet."
"Are you answering my question?"
"I have a very serious answer."
Mai Ding felt that he and Bai Xiaosi couldn't communicate at all, so he asked An Ziyan: "An Ziyan, do you know her aunt?" "Don't ask me such disgusting questions."
"If you two scold me again, be careful that I will turn my face. Isn't it my aunt? If there is something to keep secret, you still refuse to tell me. Could it be that she is a spy or something, two cheapskate, then she can live wherever she lives." tell me."
Bai Xiaosi took out a tampon from the bag and handed it to Mai Ding: "It lives here."
Mai Ding looked at the tampon in front of him, and suddenly reacted, spit out all the watermelon in his mouth, threw the watermelon into the trash can and shouted: "You are so disgusting, so disgusting, I am about to vomit, that thing Just talk about that thing, what code name is it, and you are still a big aunt, are you worthy of your real big aunt." Mai Ding went crazy.
Bai Xiaosi shrugged indifferently: "Please, who wouldn't know that Xiaohong is the great aunt, and you are an idiot who keeps asking."
"Don't call that thing any more." The name Xiaohong reminds Mai Ding of the watermelon he just ate.
"Why are you reacting so violently? Your mother, An Ziyan's sister, your ex-girlfriend, and your god-sister will all come. There's no need to make such a fuss. You're surrounded by Xiao Hong every day."
"You still said it's not serious." Mai Ding covered his ears not wanting to hear another word about Xiaohong.
"Besides, I'm not free today. I want to accompany my friend to an 8-minute date."
"What 8-minute date?" Mai Ding was attracted by the name, and became interested again.
"You don't know this? It's just a blind date. Two people share a table and get together for eight minutes to see how they feel about each other. Once the eight minutes are up, they start to change tables, continue to share a table with another person, and finally fill out a form." , see who you are most satisfied with, if the other party also likes you, the date is successful."
"It sounds like fun."
"It's fun, but it's a pity you didn't die." Bai Xiaosi glanced at An Ziyan.
Mai Ding also looked back at An-Ziyan, and made a very bold request: "An-Ziyan, we're fine anyway, how about going to have fun? It's all fake, it's not bad to experience it."
"Don't even think about it."
"Don't be so stingy, I'm very generous, go make friends, I've never played this kind of game, I want to try." "No." It's just a problem to go on a blind date for nothing.
"I believe that you won't fall in love with others, and you have to trust me. Could it be that you don't have confidence in yourself?" Mai Ding urged. "I don't want to play with things that are lower than my IQ." With this sentence, Bai Xiaosi is also helping Mai Ding with good words: "Ex-husband, you just go and have a look, it's just for fun, Mai Ding He was originally a child with low self-esteem. Do you want him to continue like this? He should get in touch with the outside world more. If you lock him at home and only face you for the rest of his life, then he will only become more and more arrogant. Closed, only relying on you alone, thus losing the ability to live, if one day you suddenly have something to do, or special circumstances cannot take care of him, do you want him to emaciate and die before you come back?" Isn't it just a blind date? It's so serious. In fact, Bai Xiaosi just wanted to see An Ziyan's stinky face when he went there. I don't know why, the more unhappy An Ziyan is, the happier Bai Xiaosi is. I don't know when this twisted mentality was developed.
"Are you talking about a blind date or seeing a psychiatrist." An Ziyan was completely unmoved.
Bai Xiaosi and Mai Ding exchanged glances, and Mai Ding folded his hands in displeasure: "I'm sick and you just treat me like this. At that time, you misunderstood that I was with Julie and broke my heart. Transferring. And you disappeared for no reason. Do you know how much I have suffered, being scolded by my classmates and criticized by the teacher. Now you are back with great difficulty, but you are not allowed to do this or that, isn’t it just to play? Let’s take a look, it’s not true.” It really revealed all the old stories.
Bai Xiaosi also echoed: "We have been together for four years, but you dumped me on the phone because I went abroad and got involved with this third party. You know that I was told by Ansu, my parents, and your parents. How miserable is it? You never thanked me. I deserve it."
An Ziyan rolled his eyes towards the sky: "I'm going to be with you two only because I've had a lot of bad luck in my life."
This means that he agreed, and Mai Ding happily ran to change his clothes. Even though it was fake, he couldn't lose his face. It would be so embarrassing if no one chose him for a while. Mai Ding was excited because of this inexplicable event, he had never participated in this kind of event, and he wanted to experience it.
=====================================F================= ===================
An Ziyan stood at the door of the clubhouse with a displeased expression on his face, looking at all the well-dressed people, he really wanted to turn around and go home. How could I agree to participate in this idiotic game.
That's right, there are really not many people who come here for a blind date, let alone these two couples are men.
Bai Xiaosi helped fill out the form, and her friend also arrived, it was Hu Ying, the woman she met on Ellen's birthday last time, she was surprised to see An Ziyan and Mai Ding, after Bai Xiaosi explained, she understood, but she didn't Figured out how An-Ziyan would be so generous, let Mai Ding come on a blind date, Bai Xiaosi helped Hu Ying solve the doubts, he can agree to Mai Ding to play, but if Mai Ding really flirts with someone, he will die in battle.
A lady came over and explained the rules to everyone: "Please find a seat to sit down. After 8 minutes, the men will not move, and the women will take turns. We will give you a table, and you can check each date. Score, the higher the score, the more chance of success, of course, if there is no candidate you like, you can also abstain, then please take your seat now." Mai Ding pushed the reluctant An Ziyan to the seat, and pushed him to sit Next, he found the table next to him to sit, so that he could observe his every move at any time. When the bell rang, the ladies began to take their seats, just like scoring the women openly, watching them take turns in front of him one by one, Mai Ding felt I am like the emperor choosing his concubine. With a sense of superiority, the original blind date world is still very exciting.
Mai Ding always gets to know himself first, then talks about hobbies, chats about homework, and then immerses himself in taking notes on that piece of paper. Number 1 has too bright hair, number 2 has too much makeup, and number 3 always uses his hands Scratching his armpit, he didn't wash his face in the morning on the 4th, and there was still eye mucus, and then he turned his head to look at An Ziyan, An Ziyan was about to flip the table impatiently, and the girl opposite kept asking cautiously: "What are you doing?" what?"
"Why should I tell you?"
"Then what is your favorite type?" The girl still persevered, after all, she couldn't give up any hope when she met such a good man.
"It's not you anyway."
The girl was not angry, but still asked with a smile: "Did you encounter any unpleasant things today? You can tell me." "I am very upset that you are sitting across from me."
Although An Ziyan also answered the girls' questions one by one, but the answers were very impolite, leaving the girl blushing in embarrassing silence, even Mai Ding couldn't stand it, and quietly stretched her body over and whispered: " You have such a bad attitude, be careful that no one will vote for you, then I will have more votes than you, oh ho ho~ I can feel proud." I really don’t know why you came to the blind date.
An Ziyan pushed Mai Ding's head back: "Sir, please don't whisper." An Ziyan didn't want to have such a boring conversation with Mai Ding at all.
Bai Xiaosi sat down in front of Mai Ding, Mai Ding moved the table away from An Ziyan, and then approached Bai Xiaosi: "Senior, I would like to ask you something."
"explain."
"You've been with An Ziyan for four years, is there any way to tame him, every time he makes me a victim."
"If I have it, will it be your turn?"
"Aren't you too disappointing? He doesn't have any fatal weaknesses."
"Yes, that's you."
"Bah, I'm not his weakness. I'm his baby. It seems that you don't have much hope. I have to do it myself. When I find out his weakness, I will give him a fatal blow. "
"for example?"
"For example, if you are afraid of cockroaches, you can take a cockroach with you to make him scream. One day, he must obediently obey me and not mock me or punish me."
This is when the bell rang, Bai Xiaosi patted Mai Ding on the shoulder: "You will never have that day until you die."
Bai Xiaosi sat opposite to An Ziyan again, Mai Ding moved the table closer to listen to what the two of them were talking about.
"Ex-husband, Gang Maimai told me that he wants to find your weakness, and then he will kill you, and he will attack you himself to make you obedient, and then torture you a little bit, so that you can't live or die."
Mai Ding stood up from the table: "Nonsense, I never said that, she slandered." It scared the woman sitting opposite him. Mai Ding didn't expect that the plan was announced one second, and he would be betrayed the next second. "You must believe me, I never said that I want to attack, she is completely distorting the facts." Mai Ding became more and more excited as he spoke, afraid that An Ziyan would misunderstand himself.
"You don't have the talent for attacking either. Why do you want the serfs to turn around now?"
"I don't, I just ask my senior how to get along with you."
"You have a hard time getting along with me now?"
Mai Ding couldn't beat An Ziyan no matter what he said, so he simply changed the subject: "Now it's a blind date, why are you talking about these things, it's really a matter of whether the pot is not open."
"Then we'll talk when we go home."
Mai Ding sat down again, and said to the girl in front of him, "Sorry, let's continue."
"You, what is your relationship?" the girl asked curiously.
"You still can't see this? The relationship between the emperor and the eunuch." Bai Xiaosi added.
Mai Ding glared at Bai Xiaosi: "An Ziyan is no eunuch."
"You don't think you are the emperor, do you?"
Seeing the topic getting farther and farther away, Mai Ding cleared his throat: "Please be careful at the next table, don't disturb the people around you." Bai Xiaosi shrugged his shoulders, then looked at An Ziyan with winking eyes: "My dear, Then let's have a good blind date, my name is Bai Xiaosi, I am in good health, and my childbirth is perfect, remember to choose me." As he spoke, his fingers actually lightly placed circles on the back of An Ziyan's hand.
It was a strong irony, Mai Ding next to him was so angry that his eyes turned red, his nails scratched the table, and he just stared at the circle-drawing hand, wishing he could rush forward and bite it off. An Ziyan looked at Bai Xiaosi: "How perfect is it? If I give you a pencil, can you produce a pen?"
Bai Xiaosi swayed wildly with a smile: "Oh, what are you talking about, damn it, you hate it."
"Don't get mad here." An Ziyan stared at Bai Xiaosi coldly.
The time is up, and it's almost over. As soon as Bai Xiaosi stood up, Mai Ding sat on the seat opposite An Ziyan, and the planner came over: "Excuse me, gentlemen, you..."
Bai Xiaosi sat in Mai Ding's seat to make a rescue: "You don't have a rule that you can only be male and female, and besides, no one should mind." Saying this, Bai Xiaosi flirtatiously blinked his right eye at the opposite girl , The woman's face turned red all of a sudden. The planner didn't know what to say, so he went back.
"Hi, I'm male guest No. 12, my name is Mai Ding, I'm a Gemini, my parents are still alive, I don't like coriander, I don't like sugar when I drink coffee, I don't like bitter melon, and I don't like things with spots. My whole body is uncomfortable, my personality is very healthy, and my heart is very sunny. My biggest dream is to become an upstart, so I buy lottery tickets every day. That’s all I can think of for now, what about you?”
An Ziyan looked at Mai Ding like a madman, and Mai Ding continued: "How about it, is this line familiar to you? I can't believe it's been so long. Fortunately, even though time has passed, we haven't changed."
An Ziyan shook his head: "You are no longer who you used to be."
"Why do you say that, I am still fat when I am old, please explain to me clearly."
"Back then you were a virgin, but now you are just a wimp."
As soon as An Ziyan said this, Mai Ding almost vomited blood in anger, and kicked An Ziyan's foot fiercely under the table: "You actually said such a thing, I don't know which bastard caused it. You give me back, give me back You are a virgin, you ungrateful guy." An Ziyan continued to shake his head, picked up a pen, and gestured at the piece of paper: "It seems that I can only give you the lowest score, there is a serious problem with your attitude."
Mai Ding grabbed An Ziyan's pen: "Don't, give me a higher score and choose me then."
"Why should I choose you?"
"What kind of problem is this? You kissed me, fucked me, and still chose me? Do you have the most basic morals?"
"If I am moral, I won't kiss you and fuck you."
"You, okay, if you don't choose me, then you don't want to kiss me or fuck me in the future."
"I don't kiss you, fuck you, can you bear it?"
Bai Xiaosi coughed and reminded the two of them: "Can you talk a little bit more?"
Mai Ding lowered his volume in embarrassment: "If you don't choose me, I will seal my ass from now on, quit the arena, and let you have nowhere to find a butt."
"The longer I've been with you, the more convinced I am that you are definitely not a serious person."
"You didn't force me out." Mai Ding stretched out his hand imitating Bai Xiaosi to draw circles on the back of An Ziyan's hand: "If you don't choose me, who else can you choose?"
"You went out of your way to call me here just to let me choose you on this piece of paper?"
"The meaning is different."
Eight minutes passed. The planner came over and collected everyone's forms, and soon the result came out. An Ziyan didn't want to hear it. He took out the key and walked to the door in a fretful manner. At this time, the planner said: " It seems that there are quite a lot of people who chose Mr. An Ziyan, but Mr. An seems to be dissatisfied with the ladies, so he dramatically chose our male guest No. 12, Mai Ding." Many people present looked at Mai Ding in surprise, Mai Ding Some proudly smiled shyly at everyone.
"But Mr. Mai Ding chose Miss Bai Xiaosi No. 9." As soon as these words came out, Bai Xiaosi and Hu Ying were both stunned, only Mai Ding was still there with a victorious smile. An Ziyan retreated from the door, turned to look at Mai Ding.
"But Miss Bai Xiaosi chose Mr. An Ziyan. It's really complicated. Unfortunately, it seems that there is no match today. Then everyone will have to wait for the next time. We will arrange the next day in the afternoon of the day after tomorrow. Let's stop here today." Bai Xiaosi heaved a sigh of relief, fortunately he chose An Ziyan, it seems that Mai Ding really did not want his life, or was An Ziyan spoiled
Everyone dispersed, and slowly there were only a few people left in the clubhouse.
Mai Ding's face was almost crooked with a smile: "Haha, this time it's up to you, you chose me out of self-indulgence, but I chose someone else, I lost face, I laughed to death, An Ziyan, An Ziyan, you There is also today." The more Mai Ding talked, the more he felt happy, but he didn't see An Ziyan's face getting worse and worse.
Even Bai Xiaosi and Hu Ying gasped beside him, this Mai Ding almost became a member of the Death Squad, and actually punished An Ziyan in front of so many people.
Mai Ding wiped the tears from the corners of his eyes: "Who told you to push me to a group of obasans last time, how much humiliation did I suffer, young man, you will eventually harm yourself, you understand this truth."
"You think this is fun?" An Ziyan asked coldly.
Mai Ding was startled by such a cold tone, stopped laughing: "Are you angry?"
"What do you think of me, should I laugh with you? You chose another woman and I should be happy for you?"
"I, I didn't mean that."
"Then what do you mean?"
Bai Xiaosi was at the side helping to say good things: "Ex-husband, forget it, Mai Mai was just joking with you."
An Ziyan couldn't listen, turned around and left, Mai Ding hugged him from behind: "I'm just kidding you, don't take it seriously."
An Ziyan shook off Mai Ding: "Mai Ding, no matter how many times you ask me to choose, I will choose you every time, what about you? You like to choose someone else so much, so you might as well live with her." After finishing speaking, he walked towards At the door, he got into the car and started the car and drove away quickly. Mai Ding never thought that this scene would happen, he explained to Bai Xiaosi in a panic: "He has scolded me so many times, I have never been angry, how could I If I knew it, I'd punish him once, but he, I really don't know." Bai Xiaosi looked at Mai Ding with tears in his eyes, and patted him on the back comfortingly, a little confused, strange, An Ziyan is not usually so stingy Man, why did he get so angry all of a sudden.
Mai Ding called An Ziyan's house by himself, feeling very upset, he kept blaming himself for making such a joke, the more he thought about it, the more he felt that he shouldn't, An Ziyan chose him, but he chose someone else in public Woman, if she was An Ziyan, she would be angry, but Mai Ding almost gave him a big mouth, how could he become such a vicious person. When he opened the door, he found An Ziyan lying on the sofa, sideways, with his back facing outside, Mai Ding couldn't see his face, but could imagine his sadness, he bowed his head and confessed: "I'm sorry, I I already know how bad I am doing, but I made such a silly joke, I am naive, I am not a thing, I have never thought about you, you are right, you choose me every time, never Picked someone else, but I did."
An Ziyan did not respond.
Mai Ding continued: "I know you can hear me, I've already apologized, why don't you forgive me, An Ziyan, please say something, even if you scold me."
no respond.
In the end Mai Ding threw himself on An Ziyan's lap: "An Ziyan! Don't ignore me."