"Why is this like this! I heard that in the story of the Three Kingdoms, a bad guy killed his wife and fried meat slices for Liu Bei to eat, but the same thing won't happen in China now, right? Monitor, how can you turn your child into a tomato? Scrambled eggs for us to eat…”
"Um... I also forgot if Ye Lin said it before," Pooh replied with a crooked mouth, "Maybe I remembered it wrong, I remembered it wrong hahahaha-"
Pull your sister’s hair out! Where is the hair on the fish? That's called fish scales! Or do you think that in your dark culinary world, chefs will use a strange hairy fish to make murderous dishes that kill people
Enough! He regained his feminine nature so quickly! Words like "ass|eye", if you were a lady, you would never use them on your lips!
Xiaoqin was wrapped in a blanket and still shivering on the sofa.
After reporting home that we were safe and indicating that Xiaoqin and I were both at Qingzi High School, it was almost dinner time.
"Uh-huh, I'm really compassionate," Pooh didn't care at all that he said any obscene words and felt good about himself. "They say you should think of the hard work of the farmer uncle when you eat rice. I can think of it when I eat eggs. Classmate Hen’s butt|eyes are really kind!”
Pooh made a sensational suggestion.
While listening to everyone chatting and gossiping at the dinner table, I made up my mind and decided not to go home today, but to live in the boys' dormitory. I asked Shu Zhe to find out about the situation at Qingzi High School and prepare for the possibility that my father would come to be a teacher. Lay the foundation.
Pooh didn't refuse, and hugged Xiao Qin face to face, just like travelers who are in danger in the snowy mountains and need to use each other's body heat to keep warm.
"Pooh, can you help me get two eggs from the refrigerator? I'm holding your hand." The monitor's voice came from the kitchen.
"You are a human, but your boyfriend may not be a human!" Xiaoqin argued, "Take Xu Xian and Bai Suzhen as an example. Xu Xian is a human and Bai Suzhen is a snake spirit, but in the end Bai Suzhen, who was supposed to lay eggs, gave birth to a baby Human babies! So as long as there is love, everything is possible!"
Pooh's off-line behavior showed no signs of stopping even after dinner started.
"It's not a big loss to not have a belly button!" Pooh raised his chopsticks and gestured twice in mid-air. "In turn, everyone will have souvenirs of their own eggshell fragments! Maybe everyone will choose the right size by then. Make the eggshell fragments into pendants and give them to your sweetheart as a token of love!"
"Don't you have an academy card yet?" the monitor asked, "Qingzi High School does not accept cash. If you don't have an academy card, you will have trouble eating in the school cafeteria. How about I cook dinner for everyone?" "
"If humans weren't viviparous, we wouldn't have belly buttons." I pointed out calmly.
Which hen is your classmate? Hen’s classmates may have been made into KFC six-packs!
On the one hand, the squad leader's ambition is to be a criminal policeman. When the time comes, he will be so busy that he will not even be able to guarantee time for his own meals, let alone cooking for his husband
"The decision is yours! Pikachu! Activate the bestie card! Use your summer-like enthusiasm to warm the frozen Xiaoqin!"
Out of a certain feeling of feeling sorry for Xiaoqin, Pooh did not intend to dwell on this matter anymore, and he did not want Xiaoqin to become unhappy because of the size of her breasts.
"That's not my child!" the squad leader said with shame and anger, "I took out the agricultural products and exchanged these eggs with nearby farmers! And why should I lay eggs as a human being!"
After hearing what Pooh said, the squad leader's eyes wandered, thoughts crawled on his brows, as if he had entered a fantasy, and felt that such a world was quite sentimental.
"Oops!" Pooh accidentally let the bean bag roll to the ground when she was getting the food. She shouted, quickly picked up the bean bag from the ground and stuffed it into her mouth.
"These are not ordinary ingredients!" Pooh, who had negative cooking skills, interjected, "Let's just talk about tomatoes. They are much better than those sold in the market outside! Because they are grown by the squad leader himself!"
Pooh's imagination was suddenly stimulated and he said: "Hey, have you ever thought about it, wouldn't it be interesting if humans were not viviparous but oviparous, and everyone came out of an egg shell?"
Xiaoqin also held her chin to express her opinion: "Should we use eggshell pendants instead of engagement rings? It's such a loving setting, maybe I can use it in comics... When couples break up, they will shout: ' Give me my eggshell back, right?"
"Monitor, I have nothing to do. Why don't I help you cook?"
"Yes...really?" Xiaoqin's jealous eyes paused on me, then moved back to Pooh, "Classmate Ye Lin not only touched you, but also praised you as 'really big'?"
"I can't be considered an expert in cooking," the monitor said modestly, "This is just my personal hobby."
On the dinner table were braised crucian carp, garlic chicken wings, scrambled eggs with tomatoes, and a spinach soup. The staple food was bean buns. Even Xiao Qin, who had just recovered from the freezing cold, felt that she had a great appetite and was ready to use chopsticks.
In fact, I didn't shout that much. I shouted all the lines in my mind in the theater in my mind, but the main idea of letting Pooh warm up Xiaoqin was conveyed to me.
"I didn't! I didn't do it this time!" Winnie hurriedly denied, raising a hand to swear, "It was Ye Lin who suddenly became a beast and touched me all over the place!"
Pooh didn't hear my inner complaints, and happily went to the kitchen to find the monitor with the eggs, and told the monitor again what he had just said.
Because at the foot of Cuisong Mountain, Xiaoqin once witnessed Pooh pushing back on me after eating aphrodisiac berries, so she asked this question.
"But there are disadvantages," Pooh frowned. "It takes 21 days for an egg to hatch. If it takes that long for humans to hatch, it will be very dangerous! If you are not careful, you will break the egg. , kill your own child! And the traffickers will be happier, right? As long as they steal the egg, they will never remember their original parents after the egg hatches, and they will regard the first person they see after the egg hatches as their mother!"
Who touched you randomly? In order to hide the fact that I forced you to kiss you, your current statement is getting further and further away from the truth!
It's because you didn't react! Bacteria have a short life cycle and their natural metabolism is much faster than that of humans. In 3 seconds, they can make a date and go shopping and still have plenty to spare!
"I, I don't have a boyfriend!" the squad leader denied, and pointedly looked away from me, "and there are neither snake spirits nor humans who can lay eggs in this world!"
The squad leader supervises the situation of the soilless plantation here in the gardener's cabin. It seems that one of the benefits he gets is that he can enjoy the agricultural products produced here, which is quite suitable for the squad leader who likes to cook.
"Eh? These two eggs are so big! It's rare to see such a big one!" Pooh held the eggs in his hands and showed them to Xiaoqin and me. "Tell me, when this egg was laid, the hen's fart |How uncomfortable it must be for your eyes!”
"I see," Xiao Qin nodded, "but I think not only the tomatoes are delicious, but the eggs inside are also delicious!"
"Classmate Ye Lin, hold me tight and keep me warm with your body, okay? You must not be able to bear to watch me die, right?"
"I can handle it myself. I just need to trouble you to help me get something from time to time." The monitor tried his best to politely refuse Pooh, but Pooh replied indifferently: "It's okay! No trouble! I can't stay idle! This is Is it a fish caught from the Daning River? How about I help you pluck the fish?"
In fact, this was a helpless move. Because Xiaoqin wanted to hide in the freezer, she took out the frozen fish, frozen chicken wings, and frozen bean buns from the freezer, and placed them on the kitchen sink, half of them melted. Instead of It's better to freeze it back and use it directly to make dinner for us.
"It's okay, it's okay!" Pooh waved carelessly, "As long as you pick up the food that fell on the floor within 3 seconds, the bacteria won't be able to react! It's not dirty at all!"
"Isn't it dirty?" I asked, "You should at least rinse it with water before eating it, right?"
"Okay!" Pooh jumped up from the sofa, opened the refrigerator door, and picked out the two largest eggs from the fresh compartment.
"I may not necessarily cook for him every day." The monitor's tone suddenly turned cold.
Xiaoqin was shocked: "The squad leader did it himself!?"
At this time, the monitor had already walked into the kitchen. I pointed at Xiaoqin and said to Pooh:
It is conceivable that once the husband of a criminal police officer assaults a young woman's breast on the street, not only will he not have food to eat when he returns home, but he will also be taken to the police station to surrender.
Xiaoqin stopped her chopsticks and stared at the monitor with disbelief mixed with sympathy.
“It’s so cold⊙﹏⊙‖∣It’s so cold⊙﹏⊙‖∣~~~”
On the other hand, the squad leader is a person who has high demands on herself, so the person who is lucky enough to be her husband must also abide by this high demand.
"The scrambled eggs with persimmons are delicious," Xiao Qin praised sincerely. "It is often said in comic books that only those who use ordinary ingredients to create unusual flavors can be considered a master of cooking."
Help! I don’t want to eat dark food! I remember that "feast" that you and Amy cooked together back then is still circulated among the beggars in Dongshan City, causing former participants to dream back at midnight and break into cold sweats! I remember you made the nice big lobster green! It’s still vaguely fluorescent! The hairy crabs turned into shit yellow, which means their life expectancy will be shortened by five years!
The squad leader was not affected by Xiao Qin and said calmly: "If humans were oviparous, they probably wouldn't eat eggs. Just like how few humans like to eat animal fetuses nowadays, right?"
"Okay, okay!" When it came to eating, Pooh's enthusiasm immediately increased. "I like to eat the food cooked by you the most! The person who can marry you in the future will be really lucky!"
"I, I heard it in the refrigerator," Xiaoqin said to Pooh in a trembling voice, "Did classmate Ye Lin touch you on the street? Did you seduce him again!?"
The squad leader almost spat out the soup in his mouth, but finally managed to swallow it.
"Well," Pooh said with a mysterious smile, "you don't know, actually those eggs were not bought in the market, but the squad leader himself..."
"Yeah," Xiaoqin nodded, "and there will be cruel mothers who will make their children into scrambled eggs with tomatoes and serve them to guests..."